Revival
by tonyamic10
Summary: Bella Swan's heart was broken five years ago, by her one true love Edward Cullen. She could not take another day living in Forks and went back to live with her mother. An emergency brought her back to her father. Can Bella continue to heal? A new friend, Seth is determined to help, but an old friend complicates her life in the process. [AU, Jacob/Bella, Seth/Bella]
1. Chapter 1

**Revival**

_**I am half way hiding behind the corner, because I have this new fic and not sure if I should post. It is so different from anything else I have written. It is going to be on the angsty side and things are going to get really messy, before they get better. I am hoping for HEA, but who knows. The premise of the story is Bella left Forks after being abandoned. She could not stay in the same place as she had been with Edward. Imagine that Twilight occurred and New Moon started off as the original books, but that is when I strayed from the path. Bella never got the chance to reconnect with Jacob, so she never leaned on him heavily and he did not help her heal. They were never best friends and she was not there when he phased. **_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are property of Stephanie Meyer.**_

_******Revival: an improvement in the condition or strength of something.**_

Bella Swan had done the only thing she was capable of after being left by Edward in the woods. She ran. She had to escape the memories of her first love. She knew she was weak and pathetic, but she felt it was the right solution at the time. She actually convinced her Mom, Renee, to put her in the local school's home-bound program, so she would not be forced into another new school. She quickly completed her high school requirements and started classes at the local junior college near her mom and Phil's house in Florida.

Renee could not believe how dramatic Bella was behaving over a teenage breakup, but after a short while determined her daughter needed professional help. She insisted on a therapist and Bella had been going religiously for the past five years. Bella basically lived two lives. Well, one of them was living, she was a good student and kept a part-time job the whole way through school. The other was merely existing. She did not form any real friendships. She stayed in her room 90% of the time she was home. Renee and Phil had pretty much given up trying to get her to change. It was obvious that Edward and her were not meant to be. It was ridiculous to pine away for him for so long. Renee had asked her countless times, what kind of hold did he possess over her? She feared he had abused her daughter. She was young, beautiful and smart and she was basically letting herself waste away emotionally.

Bella had recently graduated with a teaching degree. She decided on early education, because working with young children sounded like a better alternative for her. She had found herself actually enjoying her student teaching, and being around the children was the only time she felt like a real person. She had just gotten her first official job when a late night phone call that rang through the Dwyer residence changed the course of her life once again.

"Hello," Bella tentatively answered.

"Bella, this is Billy Black."

Why in the world would Billy Black call her and how did he get this number she wondered. "Yes, Billy, is something wrong?"

"I'm afraid so, Bella. I hate to be the one to tell you, but Charlie was shot in the line of duty."

Bella screamed alerting Renee and Phil, who ran into the room. "What? Is he okay?"

Billy tried to calm her down, "Yes, Bella the doctor expects him to make a full recovery, but it is going to be a long haul. He was hit in the shoulder, the bullet barely missed his aorta, but the surgeon says there was some extensive nerve damage. He is going to have endure a long process of rehabilitation. You know Charlie is a well liked and respected man in these parts. We are all willing to chip in and help as much as we can, but Bella, you are his family. I just thought maybe if you could spare a little time to come stay with him. I know it would do wonders to lift his spirits and he is going to encounter many challenges until he regains full use of that right arm. Child, I am not trying to put pressure on you, I just wanted you to know the full story. That old, stubborn fool didn't want me to call you. He was afraid to worry you."

"Billy, of course, I want to help. He's my father," she felt a wave of guilt considering her behavior over the past five years. She had not been fit to be called his daughter. "I'll be there as soon as I can book a flight. Don't tell Charlie, he'll try and convince me not to come, but I will stay and help as long as he needs me."

Bella hung up and explained the whole situation to her Mom. "Sweetie, I am proud of you for wanting to help your father, but your new job starts next week. What are you going to do about that? You're a teacher now, how do you expect to miss out on the first of the school year?"

Bella felt she did not have a choice, "I will just have to call and decline the position. I know it won't look good, but this is an emergency. Maybe I can find a job in Forks."

"Sounds like you intend to stay awhile. Are you sure you are ready for that? It seems like after all these years, you are finally making some progress. I worry about how the memories there will affect you," Charlie had no idea what Renee and Phil had dealt with over the years. Renee was sure he was not prepared to deal with Bella's true state of mind, especially since his focus would be on his own recovery.

"I have to go, Mom. If it will make you feel better, I will search out a new therapist as soon as I get settled. I want to continue to get better. I mean it, I use to not care; but now I do."

Bella was on a morning flight two days later, headed back to Forks; a place that held so many memories for her. Edward and his family had made a huge impression on her in such a short time. She had never been able to be completely honest with her doctor regarding why she was so affected by them. Their world had to remain hidden from the rest of society. If she would have confessed, she had been pining over a vampire these past five years, she would probably had been committed by now. Bella had called Billy when she confirmed her flight and he told her he would make sure he had transportation for her from the airport.

Bella, wondered when she was on the plane if Billy would send his son, Jacob. She had a few fond memories of him. He was a nice kid and she felt bad, the two of them never got to really know each other again. She had been so caught up with Edward by the time she reacquainted with Jacob, she barely gave him a second thought. "Wow, he must be at least 21 now, I guess he wasn't a kid anymore," she thought.

That final thought Bella had about Jacob had been the understatement of the decade. She did not recognize the boy she remembered at all in that giant, gorgeous man that came up to her at the airport. That was until he smiled, that still looked the same. "Wow, Jacob, I can't believe how much you have changed. You must be well over six feet. Oh my gosh; you must love body building or something."

"Actually, it's 6' 5" Bella, but yeah, I've changed a little over the past few years." He had an incredibly deep and husky voice and Bella noted he seemed mysterious as well. She was being stupid, she no idea why she made that assumption after seeing him again. She obviously read too many books. For the first time in forever, she kind of felt giddy. Jacob had a certain presence and she was confused if what she was experiencing was attraction. She did not even think that part of her functioned any longer, but if anyone was going to awaken that side of her, it would have been him.

Jacob directed Bella to his car, she wasn't sure what kind it was, "What kind of car is this, Jacob? It's cute."

"Um, thanks, Bella. It's a VW Rabbit, I rebuilt it myself when I turned 16. I pride myself in keeping it running even though I have another car now."

"I should have known, since you did such a great job on my truck. I wonder what Charlie did with it."

"He kept it, actually," which shocked the heck out of her.

"Are you kidding?"

"No, he kept it in case you ever wanted to come back."

Bella got completely quiet, she was overwrought with guilty feelings. She had been a terrible daughter, but Charlie always held out hope. She could have lost him and he would have never known how much she truly loved him. She made a promise to herself that she would spend as much time as it took making it up to him.

"Bella, are you okay? I can tell you are worried about Charlie, but he is going to be okay, thanks to Seth," he confided.

"Seth?" She vaguely remembered that name. "Do you mean Harry Clearwater's little boy?"

Jacob broke out in roaring laughter. She obviously did not get it. "Did I say something funny?"

"Yeah, it's been a long while since anyone referred to Seth as a little boy. That's all".

"Oh, yeah I guess you're right. How old is he anyway?"

"Seth just turned 20, but he appears to be even older."

"Oh, he's not as large as you, is he?" She had no idea how that was possible.

"Nope," he replied with a resounding "p". "He might like to think that he is, but I am still quite a bit bigger."

"Oh, do you all work out together or something?" Jacob laughed again.

She must be on a roll, because she had not incited that much laughter in...since never, no one laughed at anything she said. She was not funny in the least.

"So, how did Seth save my dad?"

"He works with Charlie, the perp was about to shoot him again when Seth disarmed him."

"Oh wow, you're going to have to introduce me to Seth, so I can thank him. Sounds like I owe him Charlie's life. He wasn't harmed himself, was he?"

"No, Seth is good at taking care of himself and I'm sure you will see him around. Not only does Seth work for Charlie; his mom, Sue and Charlie kind of have a thing with each other."

"My dad has a girlfriend?" She never expected to hear that.

"They don't exactly call it that, but they like each other's company. I'm sure Seth will come around and then you'll get your chance to thank him."

Jacob was about to put the car into gear, when Bella heard his phone go off. He pulled it from his pocket to read his message. It must have been a long one, because he spent quite awhile staring at the screen. She didn't want to seem nosy, so she turned the other way to stare into the parking lot. When she glanced back to Jacob, he kind of look perturbed or irritated. She was not sure what, but he had lost his sunny grin, so she made polite conversation, "Nothing bad, I hope."

"Um, no..." he didn't act like he wanted to talk about it, but he also said, "Women. I bet you can relate, huh?"

What was she suppose to say to that? Jacob had a girlfriend she presumed. Of course, someone that looked as he did would be attached. She shook her head, "Nope, not me."

"Come on, Bella. You mean to tell me there isn't someone waiting for you back in Florida?'

Despite sounding like a loser, she told the truth, "Other than my mom, no Jacob, I don't have anyone back in Florida."

Jacob sighed heavily and shook his head. He then put the car in gear and headed away from the airport towards Forks.

Bella had kind of hoped Jacob was going to carry the conversation judging by the way he was at first, but after his long text message; he remained pretty silent. Bella did not know the first thing about what might interest Jacob, so she decided it was better to sit in awkward silence than try and make small talk.

Once they drove for about 20 minutes, Jacob got talkative again. "So Bella, how long do you think you might stay with Charlie?"

"I don't know, I thought I would play it by ear. I turned down the position at the school that hired me at the last minute, so there goes that. I'm sure I will never get hired in that district again. I guess I might check into the schools in Forks. I'm pretty sure they have all their teaching positions filled, but maybe I could work as an aide or assistant."

"I bet you can find something easy. It doesn't hurt that Charlie is so respected in the community. That should help your chances. Sometimes, who you know makes all the difference."

"Where do you work?"

"Um, I actually own a garage on the rez now."

"Wow, that's amazing and you love cars, so sounds like a dream job."

"Sure, sure. It pays the bills."

"Oh, do you still live at home with Billy?"

He kind of look uncomfortable, but he answered, "Nah, I moved out this year." he got quite again, but finally admitted the rest. "I live with my girlfriend, Nadia."

"Oh, that's nice. Have you been together a long time?" Bella knew she was so far removed from the dating scene, normal relationships, etc. She just assumed Jacob probably had known this girl awhile, if he had left his father to move in with her. She remembers how dedicated he was to Billy.

"Um well, she and I met almost a year ago."

"Wow, Jacob. You move fast, I guess you must really be in love." She had said too much, and realized how badly she was embarrassing herself. She instantly blushed and covered her mouth with her hand essentially stopping herself from saying anything further.

Jacob didn't say much else except, "Yeah, something like that."

She couldn't help but wonder what they hell that meant. Either he was very in love or not? Jacob Black was making her confused and she could not figure out why. She had done her best at keeping everyone at arm's length since Edward and now for some stupid reason she cared if Jake lived with a girl name Nadia. She did know one thing, she did not like that name. It sounded harsh to her ears. Jacob soon pulled into Charlie's driveway which looked precisely the same as the day she had left. Of course, Charlie would not change anything. His resistance to change was somewhat comforting to her, if she was completely honest. It just meant she could always count on him to be what she expected. Jacob got out of the car and retrieved her luggage. She caught herself staring at the way his back muscles moved and flexed through his shirt. He truly had grown into a handsome man. Was that word even enough to describe him? It probably wasn't. Bella knew there were much better, descriptive words to use, but seeing how he was taken. It did not seem appropriate to recite them even in her own mind.

"You coming, Bells?" Jacob asked from the porch.

"Oh yeah, sure." Dammit, did he see her staring at him? How humiliating. She stumbled on the stairs to further her embarrassment. God, she hoped Jacob did not come around too often, because one car ride with him had turned her into a bumbling fool. Of course, there was another part of her, that kind of wished she could see him again. She had thought way back when she first came to Forks that the two of them, might have become good friends. That was until she pretty much alienated everyone else from her world except Edward and the Cullen's.

Charlie was supposed to come home in the morning. He still didn't know she was in town. She debated whether to go to the hospital, but she decided her time would best be spent readying the house and maybe going grocery shopping. She looked to see that Jacob was still standing there, so she thanked him again for the ride.

"No problem, is there anything else you need?" Jacob said.

"Well, do you know if my truck might start? I really need to go buy food."

"Um, I doubt it, since it has been setting up a long while, but I can see what I can do a few days from now. I am backed up at work."

"Oh, no rush, I could walk if I only get a few things." She was not about to ask for special favors.

"No, Bella. You don't have to do that. I tell you what, I will send Seth over here early this evening. Would that work?"

"I thought you said Seth works for my dad. You kind of make it sound like he works for you, Jake," she didn't know why she gave him the nickname, but it slipped out. He appeared to like it because a huge grin swept over his face.

"Something like that Bella. Seth helps me out with some tribal functions. He works closely with me and a few other guys. You might see us all around from time to time. I'll make sure he gives you a lift to the store, so no taking off on foot. You hear me?"

"Yes, sir." She saluted him, to only support the perception he must have that she is complete and total dork.

He laughed and headed out the door and like a moron she quickly ran over to the window to watch him drive away.

_**Thanks so much for reading.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**~A/N Bella comes off as slightly neurotic, but I think it fits with the way she has existed since Edward left her. I am a Jella shipper to the core, but when I had this idea and started to write Seth; I became very conflicted. That is when I decided the story was going to be very angsty and complicated. More about Nadia will be revealed soon. **_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight**_

Chapter 2

Bella was glad she had purchased her own mobile Internet plan because the idea that Charlie had wifi was slim and none. Her first order of business was to get online and find a therapist. She was already having a mini meltdown since being left alone in Charlie's house. It was safer to only refer to it as his home. She had always done the same living with her Mom. It was Phil and Renee's. She could not wrap her mind around how she had behaved around Jacob. It was absolutely ridiculous, they were kind of like old friends, but she completely made a fool of herself in front of him. She figured her therapist choices would be few, and they were. There were only four that seemed like possibilities. She refused to see a male therapist, so she was left with four lady psychologists in a 50 mile radius.

Dr. Michele Thompson had a yelp review and it wasn't bad, so she inputted her number into her cell phone. She wasn't sure when Jacob would get her car running, but she took a chance and called to get an appointment on the books. The receptionist said Dr. Thompson would be able to see her next Monday at 4, so she confirmed that time would work for her even though she was not sure she had a way to get there. She meant what she said, she wanted to continue to get better. She was well aware that taking so long to over come a broken heart was borderline insane. However, Bella was impressed with how far she had come in the past year. She no longer stared at the wall during therapy sessions or mindlessly doodled in her journals for her homework. She was actively contributing in the healing process and no longer felt like she was wasting Renee's money.

Thinking about money reminded her she had to get a job. She was 23 years old and not about to make Charlie support her. She called the school administration and inquired about any kind of positions that might be open. As soon as the secretary heard the name, she asked about Charlie. She guessed Jacob was right, being Charlie's daughter in a small town was going to be to her advantage. The lady told Bella she was in luck, that they had one aide position yet to be filled and if she could get there before noon tomorrow with her resume and credentials; she was sure she would be a perfect fit. Bella again agreed, wondering if she had a ride. Charlie's cruiser was not even at the house, so she was hoping this Seth kid showed up and was nice enough to help her out. She hated asking a total stranger for all these favors. She kind of wished Jacob would have left his number, but she doubted his girlfriend liked him handing his phone number out to a bunch of women. The reality was she was an old family friend, not any woman and Jacob should be able to give his number to her if he wanted. Ugh, what kind of bitchy girlfriend did Jacob even have that he could not talk to her?

She shook those thoughts from her head. She did not even know that Jacob's girlfriend was a bitch. In fact, she highly doubted someone as nice as Jacob would have a girlfriend like that. She had to be nice, as well, even if her name, Nadia sounded kinda bitchy. "Gah," Bella yelled at herself. She closed up her laptop and put away her phone and got busy with cleaning. That was the only sane thing she had done since getting off the plane this morning.

She hurriedly unpacked, which was easy. Her room was virtually the same. It had been kept clean and tidy. There was very little dust on the furniture. Speaking of furniture, she had to get rid of that rocking chair or there was no way she was getting any sleep tonight. She changed into some sweats and a tank top, pulled her hair high on her head and went about getting the floors vacuumed and the bathroom cleaned. She was saving the kitchen for last because she knew it would be the biggest task. She already dreaded the moldy, half-eaten take out containers that most likely filled the fridge. She ended up turning on some loud music she had saved to her laptop. Her therapist finally had gotten her over her aversion to music. She asked if she enjoyed music before Edward, which she replied "yes". She was purposeful in choosing songs that had nothing to do with him and the more she listened to, the more she realized very little of it reminded her of Edward. That had been a figment of her imagination, when virtually everything brought up painful memories.

She finally had tackled the refrigerator and it was worse than she imagined. She had completely lost track of time, and did not hear the front door open. She had been blasting Pink trying to carry that stupid rocking chair down the stairs without scraping up the walls when deep voice scared the hell out of her. "Need some help?"

Bella screamed and jumped almost losing her footing with the chair, but a pair of strong hands reached out and stabilized her. "Oops, didn't mean to scare you. Here let me have that." Then those hands reached in and took the chair and lifted it all the way over Bella's head like it weighed nothing. She finally caught a glimpse of the face attached to the body that had rescued her from falling. It was a Quileute man, obviously. What the hell was going on in La Push? Bella had spent a lot of time there when she was young, she doesn't remember anyone looking like that. First Jacob and now this guy. He was not as tall as Jacob, but he was abnormally muscular. He was breathtaking, and could absolutely give Jake a run for his money in the best looking category. It had to be Seth, he was suppose to come by.

"Hey, Bella, sorry about that again, I'm Seth, by the way," he sat the chair on the living room floor and extended his hand to her. She meet his hand with hers which was completely dwarfed in his as they shook hands. "Where would you like this chair?" he asked as he released her hand.

"Could you burn it?" She did not know what else to do with it, but she thought that seemed like the right thing to do.

"Um...okay, are you sure about that?" He was looking at her like she was crazy, it was a look she was very use to.

"Yep, my Dad won't care. It holds bad memories for me."

Seth leaned in and appeared to take a whiff of the chair, "Yeah, I think you're right, I'll carry it back out to Charlie's leaf pile and take care of it for you."

"Holy crap, he smelled it. What the heck kind of memories did Seth think she meant?" She pondered. It wasn't like she could say "oh yeah, my ex use to sit in it and watch me sleep. Did I mention he was a vampire and he abandoned me in the woods?" While Seth was out burning the chair, she thought she should go make herself presentable for the store. She thought she should holler to him, in case he came back in and didn't see her.

She looked out the back door and saw Seth. He already had a fire going that quick. She noted the smoke from it burned a funny color. It must be a by-product of the ancient fabric. It was extremely weird to her that Seth wasn't alone. Two other equally large Quileute men were standing by him in nothing but shorts. They didn't even have shoes on. It was September, for crying out loud, what kind of grown man walks around bare foot? She halted her spying session, and called to Seth, "Hey Seth, I'm just running up to change. Are you able to run me to the store? Jacob said you would."

"Sure, Bella, whenever you're ready."

Both of those men stared at her like she had two heads or something. She watched them say one more thing to Seth and then they disappeared in the woods. That made it even more weird. Did they actually roam the woods dressed like that?

Bella quickly changed and freshened up in the bathroom. She slowly came down the stairs not wanting to appear too eager in case Seth was waiting for her. He was patiently sitting on the sofa. He smiled as soon as he saw her. He had such a nice, friendly smile. It was catching, so she smiled back and then nervously caught her lip between her teeth. He stood up and she was again shocked at his height. "You ready?"

"Yeah, just let me grab my bag and my list. Are you sure this isn't putting you out?"

"No, I'm off work, so my evening is free. I'm happy to help out, Bella. It's a nice thing you're doing, coming home to take care of Charlie," he was making her sound like she was doing something extraordinarily, but where else could she be. She was all he had.

"I'm only sorry it took Charlie getting hurt to bring me back. I hope he doesn't take that the wrong way."

"He won't, trust me, he's going to be thrilled to see you. He talks about you constantly."

"Really?"

"Yes, really, he's very proud of you, Bella."

"Well, if you take me to the store, the least you can do is share dinner with me tonight or do you have other plans?"

"Are you kidding, I never turn down a meal. Charlie says you're a good cook, is that true?"

Bella shrugged, "Some people think so, you'll just have to wait and be your own judge." Seth led her outside to his truck. "This is a nice truck, Seth."

"Yeah, of course, Jake helped me out with it. He has all of us...um, all his buddies set up with nice rides."

"Jacob is a nice guy from what I remember. He promised to get my truck going again, so I won't have to bum rides off of people for too long."

"Ah, maybe I'll tell him to hold off on that. I don't mind taking you places, it will give us a chance to get to know one another. You know our parents are secretly dating?"

"Yeah, Jake mentioned that. Oh, does that mean one day you might be my brother?" She said it as a joke forgetting for a second that she isn't funny.

"No Bella, please don't think of me as your little brother, okay?"

She laughed remembering how funny Jacob thought it was she called him a little boy. "You know, Seth, I swear I have this vague memory from when I was about 6 or 7 and you were in a playpen in nothing but a diaper. I think that was the last time I saw you."

"Aw, come on Bella...why does that have to be your only memory of me? It's probably true, my Mom kept me in there a bunch because I was a bit of a troublemaker. I was always getting into stuff I wasn't suppose to. Maybe you and I will have to create some new memories."

She did not know how to respond to that, so she sat with her hands in her lap looking at Forks out the window. It was virtually the same. No wonder Charlie never changed, this town never changed. She had no idea how to continue conversing with Seth. It seemed like he was pretty flirty, but he was probably like that all the time. She had pretty much spent the past five years avoiding the opposite sex, and in a matter of a few hours she had allowed two different ones to have an affect on her. Monday could not come fast enough.

She hated asking another favor so fast, but she had no choice she needed that job. "Hey Seth, do you by any chance know where I could find a ride to the school tomorrow. I sort of have an interview."

"What time?"

"I have to be there anytime, between 8 and 12."

"I'll be at work, but you can borrow my truck," he volunteered.

"What? No I couldn't ask that. You barely even know me. What would you drive?"

"Don't worry about it, I'll get one of the guys to come with me to drop it off and give me a ride. You're Charlie's daughter, it's not like you are a complete stranger. I am pretty sure Mom is bringing Charlie home about 10 in case you want to go early and get back before he gets home."

"Oh, okay. Are you sure about the truck?"

"Yes, I'm sure, I'll leave my keys under that mat, no one would mess with a car in the police chief's driveway. We all do that."

They got out at the supermarket. Bella wasn't sure if Seth wanted to join her inside, but she invited him and he accepted. It was actually the most fun she had shopping since she could remember. Who was she kidding, this was hands down the most fun she had had in years. Maybe coming back to Forks was exactly what she needed.

Seth continued his silliness as he rode the back of the shopping cart out into the parking lot. For a second Bella worried he might flip the flimsy cart due to his size, but he seemed to have an unnatural grace. It seemed odd for someone so massive. She got into the truck while he unloaded the groceries into the back. He climbed in and she spoke up, "You are nothing but a big kid Seth. I was fooled by your looks for a bit, but now I am not so sure you are 20."

"Oh yes, I am. I turned 20 two weeks ago, and have the picture to prove it. He pulled out his phone and showed her a picture of himself sitting in front of a cake with what appeared to be twenty candles. There was a beautiful young woman standing next to him. Perhaps, Seth had a girlfriend too.

"Who's the pretty girl?" Bella had to know.

"That's just Leah. Remember, I have an older sister?" he reminded her.

"Oh yeah, well she is so pretty. I am jealous of her hair."

"Her hair?"

"Yes, hair is an important feature."

"Girls...you are weird Bella and besides I like your hair just fine. It kinda goes with your face which I also like."

Stupid blush, Bella did not know how to take a compliment. She blushed as red as a tomato as soon as he said that.

Seth insisted on carrying all the groceries himself. Bella got busy putting things away. She asked if he minded having something simple, because she was starting to feel the affects of the time change. She promised to make him something more substantial next time he visited. She actually looked forward to spending more time with him. She made a simple soup and hot sandwiches, which Seth raved about even though she whipped them up in less than half an hour.

"Bella, if this is your idea of a simple meal, I might plan to have all my dinners over here. Although, I doubt Charlie would like that too much. He probably would get sick of me after working with me all day."

"How long do you think Charlie will be off work?" Bella had no idea what to expect as far as Charlie's recovery.

"Well, Mom said he told the doctor he wanted to be at least be approved for desk duty in about four weeks. He is pretty stubborn so I can see that happening."

"Seth, Jacob told me you saved him. I can never thank you enough."

"Bella, no thanks needed, I simply reacted and it happened to work out. Besides, Charlie has been like a second father to me since I lost my father and I would do anything for him."

Bella looked at the clock and it was getting late, she needed to be up early for the interview. Seth got the hint when he saw her. "Um, I guess I should head out. I had a really nice time, Bella."

Bella felt a wave a dread come over her. Could she really stay in this house alone after remembering all those nights, Edward spent in her room? Renee and Phil rarely left her alone with good reason. They were the only ones who knew how far Bella's despair had carried her.

Seth picked up on her nervousness somehow. "You okay? Is there anything else you need besides my truck out front bright and early tomorrow?"

"No, I was just thinking how I am kind of a scaredy cat, I don't stay alone too often." She didn't know why it was so easy to confess her fears to Seth.

"Oh, Bella, remember what I said, no one bothers the chief's place. Trust me when I tell you, this place is always protected."

She did not exactly know what that meant but if Seth was saying it, she believed him. He had the most trustworthy face she had ever encountered. She was in no way expecting his next move, but he reached for her and pulled her into a warm embrace. She could not remember the last time she had been hugged and she had certainly never felt a hug like that. Seth was unnaturally warm. In fact he was so warm, she asked, "Seth, you're pretty hot."

"Thanks Bella, you're not so bad yourself," he laughed.

She was instantly mortified, "I...I meant, your skin seems really warm. Do you think you might be sick? Um, not that you don't look good...I mean you are handsome and all. I..." She couldn't get anything else out of her betraying mouth.

"Naw, I know what you mean. It's a Quileute thing, we run a little warm."

"Oh, okay, well thanks again for everything and I promise I will take good care of your truck."

He walked out of the house and she found herself once again staring out the window to watch someone drive away for the second time that day.

_**Thanks so much for reading.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N I'm getting questions about imprinting and all I'm going to say is this story is going to include imprinting and the turmoil it causes._**

**_Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephanie Meyer_**

Chapter 3

Bella surprisingly got a good night's sleep thanks to jet lag and benadryl. She got up at 6:30, got a shower and ate a lite breakfast. She peered out the window at 7:30 and there the truck sat, just as Seth had promised. She left a little early for the school, so she could be there when they opened up at 8. She wanted to have time to get a nice lunch on before Charlie came home. The receptionist met with her and glanced at her resume. "Bella, it's obvious, you're more than qualified for this position. I'll let you in a little secret. One of the Kindergarten teachers is going on maternity leave the last two months of the school year. I know they haven't filled that position. If you do well, I bet they'll offer you the position and if you want to stick around next year, maybe you'll find a permanent job."

Bella had no idea if she planned to stay next year. She wasn't even sure if she going to make it to the last two months of school, but she acted enthusiastic anyway. She had become a professional at faking, so she did what she thought bettered her chances. The administration office told her if she had the time the principal at the elementary school would like to meet with her. It was still only 8:30, so she headed straight there. The principal must have liked her as well because she was given the job after only a few minutes. It was at least half the salary she was promised in Jacksonville, but that was to be expected.

She made it back to the house at 9:45, not exactly too much time before she expected her Dad home, but she still had plenty of time before lunch. Seth had been considerate enough to leave his number in the truck, so Bella decided to share her good news with him.

**ur truck went to good use...i got the job**

**btw, i didn't wreck it**

Why did she suddenly want Seth to think she was witty? Maybe it had to do with the fact he had the sweetest laugh she had ever heard. Although, she wouldn't hear him laugh when he read her text.

She went around the house, to make sure she had taken care of everything and it looked good, so she turned on the TV to keep her mind off her nervousness. It was true she was apprehensive about seeing Charlie again. She flipped it directly to the Food network. Her phone vibrated.

**i know...**

**and congrats**

What did he mean "I know"? Did he know she got a job? Did word travel that fast in Forks? Or was he talking about her not wrecking his truck? That must be it, Seth was a cop, so he would be the first to hear about an accident in Forks. It wasn't like he was having her followed or something.

A car door slammed outside. She clicked the television off and stood up to go to the door.

She heard Charlie as well as a woman's voice just outside the door, so she opened it before they had the chance.

"Bells! Bells, what are you doing here?" he looked at Sue. "I told you not to worry Bella."

"For crying out loud Charlie, she's your daughter. Did you really think no one would tell her you were shot." Bella thought they were so cute. Sue smiled sweetly at Bella and gave her a hug. "Don't listen to your father, he's very happy you're here. You've really grown into a beautiful young woman, Bella." She liked Sue instantly. No wonder Seth was so appealing to her. Friendliness must have run in the family. Bella wondered if Leah was just as friendly.

"Come on in, Dad. You just got out of the hospital, you should sit down. How are you feeling?"

"Like it's time for my next pain pill, but first give your ole man a hug, Bells. It's been a long time." Charlie had only visited her twice in the past five years. "How long are you staying? Don't you start a new job next week?"

"Yeah, as a matter of fact, I start a new job at Forks Elementary, Monday, so I'm staying as long as you need me." Charlie couldn't hide his excitement when she said that.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Positive, Dad, It's a done deal. Now, have a seat so Sue can explain your medications to me and I'll get started on a special welcome home dinner."

Charlie got situated in his favorite chair and Sue and Bella got busy in the kitchen. She let Bella know what he was taking and how often to give it. He had to wear his specialized sling at all times. She said Charlie managed in the shower this morning at the hospital, but if she needed Seth to help to call him anytime. Charlie would probably rather lie on the floor and die than let him assist him with the shower. Bella more than understood that, because she was equally modest. Sue explained Charlie's rehab schedule to Bella. She was going to have to see if she could get a break on Fridays, because that was the only day that didn't have arrangements for him. Sue asked what she could do to help, so Bella let her chop vegetables and peel potatoes. She was cooking smothered steak with mashed potatoes and gravy. She was also going to saute green beans and mushrooms because it was one of Charlie's favorite sides. She had rolls rising on the counter as well.

"Wow, Bella, this is quite a feast for the middle of the day. Charlie is going to be thrilled. He griped constantly about the hospital food." Sue had the rest of the day off, so she was staying for lunch.

Bella got the idea, she should send Seth a message, in case he had a lunch break.

**making a bunch of food, can you get away for lunch?**

Seth replied immediately.

**not until 1, is that too late?**

Bella promised his food would be ready.

**nope, I'll have a plate ready for u...c u soon**

Once Bella got the steaks seasoned, she put them in the oven on low to cook them nice and slow, so they would be tender. She peaked in on Charlie to find him sound asleep in his recliner. The pain pills worked quick. She noticed a car she had not seen before outside, so she went over to the window to investigate. Her truck was pulled out of the side garage and a pair of jean clad legs were sticking out the front. That could only be one person, and Bella felt her heart skip a beat. He was fixing her truck and she was undecided if she had gotten excited about the truck or that Jacob had come back.

Bella went outside, not wanting disturb Jacob, but she should see if he needed anything. As soon as she approached the truck, he said, "Hey Bells, can you hand me that wrench out of my tool box?"

"What does it look like?"

His hand came out into view with a silver tool in his grip, "Like this, only bigger. It's been awhile since I worked on this truck and I picked up the wrong size."

Bella quickly found what he was talking about and switched out the tools for him. "Thanks Jake for getting to my truck so soon. I've got good news. You were right, I got the job."

"That's great, I knew you would. Hopefully, I'll get it going for you, but I may have to go back to the shop for some parts."

"Oh okay, can I get you something to drink?"

"Not right now."

Bella felt a little awkward as she continued to talk to his feet. She started to head back into the house when she remembered she had a huge lunch cooking. Seth was coming, so she went back and invited Jacob as well.

"Sure, sure lunch sounds good, just let me know when it's ready."

The aromas soon began to permeate the house and Charlie's nose woke him up. "Bells, you didn't have to do all this for me; but it sure smells great. Is it ready?"

"Almost Dad, the rolls will be out in about five minutes. I'm going to go out and get Jacob."

"Jake's here?" Charlie asked.

"Yes, he is working on my truck. Thanks for keep it. I was really surprised to hear it was still here."

Bella stepped outside again to find Jacob had come out from under the truck. He was standing at what she assumed was his other car. It was a Dodge Challenger, she only knew about it because Phil had a thing for muscle cars and there were always car magazines around the house. He was on the phone, so she didn't want to interrupt. He waved to her and she mouthed, "Lunch is ready." He held up his finger signaling he needed a minute. It was only 12:30, but Seth shouldn' t mind if they started without him. Bella went inside and made everyone's plate. Charlie advised her that she should put more on Jacob's plate, that she would not believe how much those boys could put away. She decided to go ahead and make Seth's plate to make sure he had his own adequate portion.

Jacob came inside and headed upstairs to the bathroom. Bella noticed he had several smudges on his arm and face. His shirt looked pretty clean and she wondered if he had changed it before he came inside. She could not help but watch him climb the stairs, but Jacob must have had a sixth sense because he turned around and caught her. That was the second time she had been busted, and he seemed to enjoy the attention. He gave her a cocky grin and then disappeared into the bathroom.

Bella sat down at the table next to Sue. Jacob caught sight of the biggest plate of food and sat across from her. He immediately dug in, "Oh Bella, this is so good. Where did you learn to cook like this?"

"Trial and error...food network. My Mom stinks at it, so it was a survival technique."

"I haven't had food this good in forever. Thanks, it really hits the spot."

"Oh, doesn't your girlfriend cook for you?"

Jacob looked up, Sue had a funny look on her face. Did she say something wrong?

"Naw, she isn't really into cooking. "

"Oh, well I could send some simple recipes home with you if you think she'd like to try them." She thought she was being nice.

"Um, no thanks. Then I'd have to admit I've been telling people she can't cook. Just forget I mentioned it."

Jacob went back to enjoying his food.

The four of them made small talk. Bella was kind of jealous that Jacob could so easily carry a conversation with both Sue and Charlie. She was more of an observer than a participant. Jacob turned to her when he was done and thanked her again. "Bella, I am going to have to go back to the garage in a little bit. I need a part and hopefully I have it there. If not, I will have to order it for you."

Charlie spoke up, "Whatever you need, Jake...let me know and I'll pay you."

"Dad, I've got money. I can pay Jacob."

Jacob looked up and towards the door. Bella saw a car pass by and realized Seth must have gotten dropped off. She jumped up and went to the door to let him in. He must have felt comfortable with Bella after their prior evening together, because he picked her up and spun her around. "Mmm, smells good in here Bella. Second time, in a few hours you're feeding me. I might have to marry you."

Bella felt warm all over when he said that. Of course, he was joking. She giggled and blushed. She went to reheat Seth's plate and told him to have a seat. He followed her into the kitchen to wash his hands at the sink. She was getting the plate out of the microwave and felt him sneak up behind her. He reached around to take the plate from her and made contact with her body again. Bella thought he was being overly friendly. She didn't exactly mind, but she wasn't quite ready for it.

Seth had a seat and started to eat. Bella offered Jake one more helping but he declined. She was about to sit down by Seth, because Charlie and Sue had gone back into the living room. Jacob stood up and went to the sink to wash his dish. She didn't expect him to do that, so she followed him instead of sitting down. "Here Jacob, I'll get that, you are doing enough fixing my truck."

Sue yelled to both of them. "I'll clean the kitchen when everyone is done. Leave it, Bella."

Jacob took the sponge out of Bella's hand and she didn't know what happened, but being so close to him made her feel funny inside. He had touched her hand and she had to admit to herself that despite all her inner conflicts; she in fact was attracted to Jacob. It didn't matter that she knew he had a girlfriend. She liked it when he stood close to her, and she wanted him to touch her again. This was not good, she couldn't wait to discuss it with her new therapist.

Jacob went ahead with cleaning his own dish, so Bella joined Seth. "Thanks so much for inviting me today. This is the best lunch I've had since starting on the force. No offense, Mom," he yelled to Sue.

"It's fine, Seth. You're right," she called back.

"Bells," Jake wanted her attention. "I'm going to check on a couple of more things on the truck, but would you like to ride out to my shop with me in a bit?"

Seth spoke up before she had a chance to answer, "Why? Do you think Bella likes cars, Jake?"

Bella did not miss the look Jacob gave him. He might have seemed extremely nice and friendly, but for a second Jacob looked scary. She wondered if they had a disagreement prior to this lunch, because they barely had acknowledged each other except for that interchange.

"I thought Bella might like to take a ride to La Push and see my shop. She and I are still trying to catch up," Jacob responded.

"Sure, Jacob. I would like to go," she hoped that would be the end the tension that had just risen up in the room.

Seth shrugged and stood up to take his plate to the sink. Instead of heading out front, Jacob went to the back door. He didn't even speak, he only motioned with his head and Seth followed him and shut the door behind them. Bella couldn't help herself. She headed over to the sink to continue washing dishes, but really she only wanted to look out the window. They both looked very serious. She wasn't a lip reader, but it was obvious Jake said the "f" word a couple of times. They were arguing. There was no way, it was about her. She was not stupid enough to believe that. Who knows, maybe it was something about tribal functions. Jacob mentioned that he and Seth performed duties on the reservation. She decided to stop spying and went to join Sue and Charlie. Seth came back in and gave his Mom a kiss on the cheek. "Come out to my truck, Bella. I have something to ask you."

"Um okay," so Bella followed him. Jacob was back under her truck again.

She walked Seth to his truck and he opened the door but didn't get in. He thanked her for lunch again, and then made a point to tell her that if her truck wasn't ready, he had Monday off and he would give her a ride to and from work.

"That's very generous of you, Seth. Um...I hate to ask, but could you drive me to Port Angeles after work? I don't know who else to ask." She inadvertently whispered the rest, "I have a doctor's appointment."

"Are you sick?"

"Uh, not exactly, but can you? I really need to go."

"On one condition, you let me take you out to dinner afterwards."

A loud clanking noise could be heard under her truck and Jacob yelled, "Dammit."

She and Seth stopped talking, but Jacob didn't move from under the truck.

"Okay, I will be in touch with you this weekend. Thanks, and before she could step away, Seth was hugging her again. She wondered if he noticed how her body stiffened. She wanted to avoid that reaction, but it happened every time like a reflex.

Bella went back in the house to make sure Sue and Charlie would be fine with her taking a ride with Jacob. She was in her room changing, when she heard a knock at her door. She said, "Just a second," and quickly put on a different top that didn't smell like food.

She opened the door to see a very relaxed Jacob, the one that she liked so much better than the angry version he had been earlier. "You ready?"

"Sure,"

She followed him out to his car. He even opened the door for her. "Phil would love this car, Jake. Mind if I take a picture of it later?"

He laughed, "Of course not, I'll take one of you with it, if you want."

"No, just the car's fine."

Bella had forgotten how peaceful the drive was to La Push. Jacob told her more about his garage. His friends Paul, Embry and Quil worked with him. Jacob seemed to have a lot more going for himself than she did. He owned a business and was in a serious relationship as well as being involved with his tribe. He was two years younger than her as well. Oh well, at least she had gotten her degree even if she still lived with at least one of her parents and did not have any friends.

They pulled into the garage, but she didn't see much activity going on. "It never fails, I take off and those jokers quit early. Oh well, I'll make them work extra tomorrow, come on in Bella. You can sit in my office while I search my inventory.

Jacob led her to a small room with a desk and a second hand loveseat. She sat there waiting for him. The office didn't appear to have any decorations. Bella saw the back of a picture frame on the desk, she was debating on whether she should go have a look. She was pretty certain, there would be a picture of Nadia in that frame. She was very tempted to take a look but Jacob came back in the office.

"Sorry about that, looks like I need to order the parts. I know you are anxious to have your truck going again."

"It's fine. Seth is giving me a ride."

"So you and Seth seem to have hit off fast," it seemed more of statement than a question.

"Yeah, he's easy to talk to and he's funny and so nice."

"Yep, he's a regular golden boy," he said with a heavy dose of sarcasm.

"Are you upset with him for some reason?"

"Nope."

"But I..." she didn't want to admit her snooping, but she found it easy to be honest with Jacob, "I thought I heard you two arguing in my yard after lunch."

"Aw that was nothing, something Seth was suppose to do for me. I was only reminding him."

Bella decided to stand up, she assumed they would be leaving since Jacob could not find the parts he was searching for. Jacob approached her with a very serious look on his face. "Bella, I wanted you to know, I'm really happy you're back. I know we didn't get to spend much time together before, but I really like spending time with you."

She thought he was going to hug her, but then he turned away. She caught him staring down at his desk. His jaw clenched and he looked incredibly tense to her. "Thanks Jacob, I agree. You're a nice friend. It's been so long since I had one and now I feel lucky to have both you and Seth. You two have both me so kind to me." She guessed she had said something wrong, because Jacob had that look again. It was the one she found scary. "I'm sorry...do you have some sort of inner conflict going on? Did I say something wrong?"

"Inner conflict? Are you trying to psycho analyze me, Bella? Did you get that from your shrink?" his voice was cold and distant.

She could not believe how a few seconds ago he was so happy to have her around and now he was throwing her problems in her face. What the hell was wrong with him?

"Screw you, Jacob. I was trying to be understanding. I don't know how you know that about me, but I guess I'm big joke to you. I'm sure you and all your friends had a good laugh about the crazy girl that was left in the woods." She headed towards the door to leave forgetting that Jake was her stupid ride. He grabbed her wrist as she reached for the door handle.

"Wait, Bells, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I don't know why I did? I've just got some personal stuff hanging over my head. Damn, please forgive me...I know you're just being thoughtful. Come here," and Jacob pulled her into a hug. For once, her body didn't go rigid. She let herself melt into his embrace. He was so strong and so warm. Seth was right, it must have been a Quileute thing. She should pull away, because friends don't usually hold onto a hug so long, but she couldn't bear to do it. He wasn't stepping away, in fact, she felt him hold on a little tighter. His right hand went to her hair, and he let it make a pass down the length of it before he took his large fingers to stroke her cheek.

"It's okay, Jake...I say stupid stuff a lot too. Usually not out loud, but I forgive you."

They were still very close when the door opened. In walked a man wearing only a pair of cutoffs. Bella was pretty sure he was one of the guys she saw disappear into the woods the day before. He spoke to Jacob, "You told me to give you a heads up, you got about 3 minutes, tops."

Jake moved away from Bella and walked in a circle around his garage. He pulled at his hair in frustrated manner. Bella guessed whatever this guy was talking about. It must have been bad news.

Jake finally spoke up, "Bella, this is Paul." He had a deviant little smirk on his lips and Bella took an instant dislike towards him. "He's going to have to give you a ride back to Charlie's."

"What?" She didn't want to go anywhere with him.

"I'll let you know about the truck later as soon as I get the parts ordered, but I've got something to do now. You have to go," he said abruptly almost rude.

That creepy guy, Paul put his arm around her and walked them out the door. He guided her to his truck. She kept shrugging her shoulder to try and convince him to drop his arm, but he wouldn't take a hint. About that time, she recognized Jacob's red VW pull up. It was her. She was beautiful. Bella could tell even through the glare of the car window. She exited the car and briefly gave Bella and Paul a look, neither of them even acknowledge each other. She walked into the garage. Well, that was exactly what Bella needed to see. Nadia was so exotic, she seriously had no flaws. Bella would never be able to compete with that, she was plain vanilla; always would be. Jacob liked her friendship, but she was reading too much into anything that she thought had transpired between the two of them.

Finally, Paul took his arm off of her to let her sit in the truck. She pushed herself against the door hoping to stay as far from him as possible.

"Where to darling?"

"Charlie's, where else?"

"Okay, have it your way, I thought you might want me to give you a tour or something."

"No thanks, I need to get back."

"You want some free advice, you seem skiddish?"

"No, I'm good," the last thing she needed was his advice.

"Stay away from Jake."

She frowned at him. Who was this idiot?

"Um, thanks but Jake and I are friends."

"You're wrong. Jake doesn't have friends...not anymore."

She didn't want to talk to him, so she didn't even respond. She just watched the landscape go by and was thankful Paul drove really fast, so she could get back to Charlie's and away from him as soon as possible.

_**Thanks for reading. **_

_**As the story continues, Bella will be faced with a huge dilemma. I know some people will be disappointed no matter which one she chooses, but I'm very interested to hear from you. Are you rooting for Seth or Jacob in this fic?**_


	4. Chapter 4

**_~A/N I am getting the feeling everyone likes Seth way more than Jacob. Well, it is true, Jacob is going to come across as a jerk quite often in this story. There's a good reason for that, so don't hate on him too much. This is a short update, the next will be longer. It's only going to get more complicated from here on out. Thanks to all those reviewers that dropped me a note. I always love hearing from you._**

**_Copyright disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer_**

Chapter 4

Bella warmed Charlie some leftovers with toast because he wanted to make a sandwich. There wasn't enough for her, but she had lost her appetite so she only made a small bowl of cold cereal. She and her Dad visited a little before she could tell his evening pain pill was kicking in. "I better help you upstairs, Dad before you get too groggy."

"Sure thing, Bells. You don't have to help, I can make it."

She still made a point to follow him closely in case he was woozy. He spent some time in the bathroom and then headed off to his room. Bella told him not to hesitate to call her anytime during the night if he needed something. He was looking forward to a peaceful night's rest without nurses coming in and out of his room. Bella decided to get a long, hot shower. A familiar twinge started running down her arm as the water cascaded down her body. She hadn't felt that sensation in awhile. It was most likely brought on from the current stress she felt over Jacob. She could not believe he dismissed her so abruptly and made her go with that Paul guy. She vanquished all thoughts of Jacob and cleared her mind. She focused on taking deep breaths and relaxing just as her doctor had instructed her. She could not go down that road again, especially at Charlie's. He was not equipped to deal with it and she never wanted him to know the truth. She was very embarrassed about it. The tingling and urge finally passed, so she finished up her shower.

She wasn't exactly tired yet, so she headed downstairs to watch a little TV. She wasn't there too long, before there was a soft knock at the door. It was after 9:30, and she wondered who in the world it was. She pulled the curtains aside and peered out the window. A smile appeared on her face when she realized who it was. She opened up the door.

"Hey, Seth, what's up?"

"Um sorry to show up without calling, but I wondered if you wanted to hang out? Also, my mom baked these cookies for Charlie. They're his favorite, oatmeal chocolate chip. I told her I'd bring them over."

Seth had a small container in his hands that he handed to her. She peeled one side open to take a peek. "Those look great, but Charlie is already sound asleep. You and I may have to sample some before he gets into these tomorrow. Come on in, we can watch some TV."

Seth looked relieved she had invited him inside. Bella fixed a small plate of cookies for them to share and two glasses of cold milk. Seth was flipping through the channels. She had been watching a lifetime movie, but she guessed that did not interest him too much. He stopped on a cartoon that she didn't recognize. She looked at him and he smiled, "Come on Bella, it's really funny. Haven't you ever watched Regular Show?"

"No, can't say that I have, but I'll watch it." Bella took a seat next to Seth. There was a lot of couch left beside her, but for some reason, she was drawn to sit close to him. At first, Bella thought the cartoon was extremely stupid, but Seth seemed to be enjoying it. Before she knew, she was also laughing at the silly antics of the characters. Seth elbowed her, "See...I told you it was funny." He reached down for a second cookie. "Another episode?" he questioned.

"Sure, why not?"

They started on another one, and this time Bella caught onto the jokes early on. She and Seth were really comfortable. She swears she could feel the heat radiate off of his body and it was so soothing to her. She usually watched TV covered with a blanket, but with Seth there, she didn't need it. Seth eventually caught a hold of her hand and the thought crossed her mind, it was too soon. What kind of message was she sending him, but she dismissed those thoughts and laced her fingers with his. They watched one more episode and then Seth turned off the TV. She felt nervous about what might be on his mind.

Seth turned to face her, "This is okay, isn't it?" he briefly held up their joined hands. Bella slightly nodded, but she was obviously nervous. "I know we just met, Bella, but I really like your company. I want to spend more time with you. Do you feel the same way?"

She couldn't help herself, she let his hand go. She had to be up front with him, he was way too nice to lead on. "Seth, yes, I like spending time with you, but I'm not like other girls."

He interrupted her, "I can tell, that's why I like you."

"Look, I don't know how much you know about my past when I lived here before, but I have a lot of unresolved issues. I think you will find out sooner than later; I'm probably the last girl you'd ever want to get involved with. I'm being completely honest because you deserve so much better than I can give."

"Bella, I hate that's how you see yourself. Please, give me a chance to convince you otherwise. I promise I won't push you...let's just be friends and see what happens and don't put yourself down anymore. I don't like that."

How could she tell him "no"? He made her feel like she was normal and no one else had done that in five years. "Okay, Seth...just be patient with me."

Seth smiled and she smiled back, feeling relief wash over her. "Bella, I have one more thing I wanted to tell you since we're friends now." She wasn't sure where this was going, he had become serious rather quickly, "I know you knew Jacob before, but I wanted to warn you. You really shouldn't hang around him. If you're just getting comfortable around people again, he's not someone that would help you. I'm saying this even though Jacob is like a brother to me. He'll only hurt you."

"What's with you and that Paul guy? You two are suppose to be Jake's friends. He's treated me kindly since picking me up at the airport and he's fixing my truck. We're friends, what's wrong with that?"

"One word...Nadia."

"So what, he's got a girlfriend. Are you telling me she doesn't allow Jake to have friends? Because if that's the case, why does he put up that? He should dump her."

"That's exactly what I'm telling you, Bella. Nadia is very possessive and manipulative. She's caused a huge rift in our...our little group of friends. She barely allows him time with us guys, there is no way she's going to allow him to have a female friend. That's a fact and as far as Jake dumping her, that's not an option."

Did Seth know how ridiculous he sounded? Jacob exuded strength and control, how could he be forced into a relationship with this Nadia person. Bella was right, she sounded like a total bitch. There was something else to this story, Seth was hiding something from her. "Well, Seth, I appreciate your concerns, but unless Jacob himself tells me we can't be friends, I still trust him."

Seth stood up, and walked to the door. She could tell he was not pleased with her response. She followed to let him out. He reached for her and gave her a hug. She practiced relaxing and she managed to react a little better. This time he placed a quick peck on her cheek and she smiled as soon as she felt his lips on her skin.

"Bye Seth, see you Monday at 7:30 and tell Sue thanks for the cookies."

Bella shut the door and locked it. She was finally tired, so she headed straight to bed after brushing her teeth. Bella pulled up a second blanket over her chilled body. She was trying not to dwell too much on what had transpired at Jacob's garage or downstairs with Seth. If she let her mind get started, she was going to override her exhaustion and be up half the night thinking. She started her deep breathing exercises again and worked to clear her mind. She felt a peaceful feeling start to wash over her, but then a clinking noise sounded against her window. It must have been the wind, but then it happened again. Given her previous knowledge of things that actually did go bump in the night, she decided to get up and take a look.

"What the hell?" she mumbled to herself. Jacob was outside her window in nothing but a pair of cutoffs. He noticed her in the window and motioned for her to come outside. She quickly got her robe and flung it on so that she could meet him outside.

"Jake, what are you doing? And where are your clothes?" She looked around and didn't see a car. "Did you walk here?"

He stuttered over an excuse, "I...I was close by...um, working out with a friend. I got hot, so yeah, I just forgot to put my shirt back on."

"Um, okay, but why are you here so late?"

"I wanted to tell you that I will have the parts by Tuesday and I will get your truck fixed as soon as I pick them up."

She thought he was acting cute and shy for some reason, "You could have called, you know?"

Jacob reached in his pocket and pulled out his phone. "Hey, you have a cell phone, right? Here," he handed her his phone, "Put your number in there just in case."

She couldn't control her mouth, "Should I put my name, Bells in as well?"

"Um...no, just the number's fine."

"That's what I thought?"

"What are you getting at, Bella?"

"Oh, I don't know...maybe that two of your so called good friends have both told me in just the past few hours to stay away from you and that your girlfriend doesn't allow you to have friends. Care to give me your side of the story, Jacob? Do you have any idea how uncomfortable Paul made me? That was shitty thing to do to me."

"I'm sorry, really sorry. He didn't do anything to you, did he?"

"Other than telling me to stay away from you, and giving me the creeps...no."

Jacob turned his head and growled. Bella thought he sounded like some sort of animal. He was obviously pissed at Paul.

"Seth told you the same thing as Paul?" he questioned.

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Bella, I still want us to be friends, but it's true, Nadia isn't a very trusting person, and I wouldn't want her causing you any problems, so...um we probably should keep our friendship under wraps," he said it like it was completely normal request.

That was the last straw: he had been rude to her, he had beckoned her out of bed in the middle of the night and now he was telling her they had to be secret friends. Bella might have had extremely low self esteem, but she would never be that desperate. Paul and Seth were right, Jacob was no good for her. What an asshole, she thought. She turned around to head back into the house. Jacob was in front of her in an instant blocking her path into the house. "Move Jacob, or I'll scream. Charlie might be wounded, but I bet he can still aim his pistol. What would he think about you holding me out here against my will?"

"Bella stop, you and I both know you aren't going to scream and there's no way Charlie would point a gun at me. Look...I need you to hear me out, please."

She didn't know why, but he was right. She wanted to give him a chance. She stopped trying to escape and sat down on the steps of the porch.

Jacob joined her, he rested his elbows on his thighs and let his head hang low. She sat there patiently waiting for him to talk.

"Bells, why couldn't you have come back sooner? Why did you have to leave in the first place?"

It was not what she was expecting him to say, "Jacob, I had no choice. I don't know what you've heard about me, but I'm weak. I had to leave...I had to get away from the memories."

"I know more than you would ever imagine, Bells." She looked at him through squinting eyes, trying to focus on his face in the darkness. It wasn't possible, he couldn't have known about Edward. "I am close to Sam, remember him?"

Barely, she was so out of it, but, she remembered he was the one that found her. "Yes, I know who Sam is."

"Well, he did a good job at describing what happened. Please believe me, none of us were ever making fun of you. We felt terrible. I was so worried about you. I asked Charlie about you all the time. I'm sorry that's how I knew you were getting help with the trauma that fuck, Cullen put you through. I've got no excuse for throwing that in your face today. It was a total dick move just like passing you off to Paul like that. I'm really sorry."

Jacob had such an affect on her, there was no escaping it. Her conscience was screaming at her. "Go back inside, listen to the others...don't get involved with him," but her betraying heart urged her in the other direction. "Jake, I don't know what you're going through right now, and you really don't know what all I have been through; but I still want to be your friend." He leaned in closer and put his arm around her.

"Thanks, honey. That means a lot." She couldn't help but yawn. It was really late. "Sorry, I should let you get some sleep." They two of them stood up, and Jacob followed her to the door. "Thanks again, Bells for listening." Jacob pulled her into another hug and she felt his cheek slide up and down her cheek. Even though, his lips never touched her, she couldn't help but feel it was way more intimate than any embrace she had shared with Seth.

She pulled away first feeling uneasy about the affect being that close to Jacob was having on her, "Goodnight, Jake. I'll see you around." She shut the door and went back to her room. She looked one last time out her window, but he was already gone.

_**Thanks a bunch for reading.**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**~A/N Here is the long one I promised...**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight is property of Stephanie Meyer**_

Chapter 5

Bella tossed and turned most of the night, but she still had to drag herself out of bed to make sure Charlie was okay. She met him in the hallway on his way too the bathroom. "Dad, do you need me to get you anything. Are you sure you're fine getting a shower?"

"Yes, Bells. If you could help me switch out my slings, and help me set out my clothes; I can manage. I do need help with my shirt if you don't mind?" He even looked embarrassed about Bella possibly seeing his chest.

Bella hung around in her room waiting for the shower to shut off. She was going to have to have an extra cup of coffee to make it through the day, since she felt like she got very little rest. She opened her laptop and had time to send out a quick email to her Mom. Renee wanted to know how she was doing. Of course, she wanted to know how it was being back at her father's, but she really meant where she had been with Edward. She also asked if Bella was bored or if she had managed to find some excitement in Forks. She had no idea how much excitement she had encountered, but Bella did not have the energy to explain the story and putting Renee in the loop would only complicate things.

The water soon shut off, so Bella gave her Dad a little longer to get his pants on. He had only picked out some sweats, so she didn't think it would take too long even if he was managing one handed. She gently knocked, "Dad, are you ready?"

The door opened and Charlie quickly shoved a t shirt into Bella's hands. She helped him as fast as she could being careful with his shoulder. Once he had a shirt on, she got the regular sling adjusted and they both headed downstairs. Bella got her Dad settled in his chair with the remote and she got busy in the kitchen. She put on the coffee first and then proceeded to make a hearty breakfast. It wasn't her thing to eat a large breakfast, but she was trying to help her Dad rebuild his strength.

Once, Charlie had been fed and had taken his medication, she decided to get herself ready for the day. She picked out some clothes, but her phone caught her eye. She had some incoming text messages. Three from Seth and two from Jake. "Are you kidding me?" she said to herself. There was nothing life altering in the texts, only the two of them trying to make small talk. Seth did ask if she wanted to hang out later. She carefully read the messages again, but decided the best thing she could do for herself was ignore both of them. Avoidance was one of her strong suits. She decided to only focus on Charlie and to get ready for her new job. That would be the best use of her time for the rest of the day and Sunday. She really missed her Dad, and he deserved her full attention.

Of course, part of the time Charlie would zonk out because of his meds and probably exhaustion. Bella assumed healing from a gunshot wound and surgery took its toll on him. That left her with some alone time, but she was more than use to that. She spent some time in her room going through her wardrobe. It was lucky for her, that she and Renee had already purchased most of the items she would need to start a teaching job. Bella also familiarized herself with her new employee packet. Even after prepping for her job, and preparing meals, she was still left with some free time on her hands. She pulled out a book she had started on the plane. After flip flopping between Charlie and the book, Saturday finally had ended. Of course, she would look at her phone from time to time and saw she had a couple of more messages. One more from Jake and three more from Seth. She still couldn't muster up the courage to reply to any of them.

Bella decided to forgo television that evening when Charlie turned in early. She went to bed herself with her book and found that she soon became sleepy which was a huge relief. She turned off her lamp and slipped into a deep sleep. Sunday, started the same way as Saturday. She assisted Charlie with his shirt again. She made him pancakes and they both enjoyed those at the kitchen table with some fruit and coffee. Charlie asked about her life in Jacksonville. She should be honest? No, she didn't want him to worry, so she was vague and evasive. "Aw, I stayed pretty busy. You know Mom was never much of a housekeeper and I worked at least 25 hours a week at the library."

"Did you manage some time for friends, Bells? It's not fair for you to always take care of others. You need time for yourself," he added.

That was when she tried to confuse him, by saying she knew a lot of people from school and work. She just didn't expand on the fact that she never did a single thing with any of those people. He seemed to have bought it.

He reminded her it was football season. How could she have forgotten? "Bells, feel free to say 'no', but Billy had his hopes on coming by today to watch the 3 o'clock game. Also, Seth likes to watch with us. Would you be okay with a few more this afternoon and could you whip us up some snacks?"

"I will definitely make some snacks, Dad; but would you mind if only you and I watch the game? I know it's your house and I'm not trying to change your routine, but I don't feel like being around other people. Is that okay? Just for today. I don't mean anything personal. I would love to see Billy again, and Seth is very nice. I like him a lot."

Charlie looked extremely happy despite what she was saying, "Do you mean it, Bells? You will watch the game with me?"

"Sure, Dad, I would love to watch it," just seeing his face light up was enough to make her want to watch sports. She might even try and figure out what was going on as part of her desire to become a better daughter.

She and Charlie had a lot of fun. It was lucky, she had planned ahead and grabbed some great junk food on her shopping trip. They had some yummy cheese dip and chips with some hot wings. It was the first time her Dad offered her a beer. Bella, of course, declined and stuck with soda. She didn't go into the real reasons that alcohol was not a good combination with her condition or her meds. She did remember to cut her Dad off at two early on, since he was also taking pain medication.

After cleaning up and checking and re-checking that she was ready for the morning, she came to the conclusion; she had to respond to Seth. She had basically ignored him for two days. What if he thought she didn't need a ride from him? She still was counting on a ride from him to school and to the doctor. She also needed to double check that Sue was going to check on Charlie. She was probably past the text reply time limit, she really should call.

"Well what do you know? Is this Bella? I thought your phone was broken," Seth answered without even saying "hello".

"Hmm, hi Seth. Sorry, I have been a little out of it. Charlie and I were spending some time together without interruptions. I didn't mean to be rude," Bella hoped that excuse would suffice. She really didn't want to hurt Seth's feelings.

"Ah, that's okay, Charlie had called me earlier today. He said you were going to watch football with him. He was pretty thrilled, so did you get through it?"

"Yeah, it wasn't too bad. We had fun. Seth, are we still on for tomorrow? And you don't have to take me to dinner, really. I understand if that doesn't sound as appealing to you after seeing how I can be."

"No, of course, we are still going to dinner, Bella. I will be there at 7:30, just as I promised and Mom is going over to spend some time with Charlie. One of the deputies is taking him to his PT appointment. Everything is covered, so relax and get a good night's rest for your new job."

Bella blew a puff of air from her cheek, Seth had calmed her nerves once again, "Thanks again, Seth. See ya tomorrow."

Bella had her clothes set out and Charlie was down for the night. She wasn't sure if she should try and read a little or just turn the lamp out and fall asleep. She ended up thinking about a third option. She had called Seth, would it be so bad to send Jacob a reply? She had made the decision to remain his friend even if she still had some lingering concerns. It was kinda late, so he was probably home which meant he was with Nadia. Bella never wanted to cause him problems on purpose. However, if he texted her, then he probably had himself covered to receive messages from her. It wasn't like he had instructed her not to reply. This was so stupid. These are the kind of things that usually sent her into a downward spiral. She was over analyzing and not trusting her true instincts. She wanted to say something to him, just to assure him things were cool between them.

Now was the time to think of the perfect reply. "Holy hell, Bella, it's a text. Why does it even have to be perfect," she chided herself.

**B: hi jake, sorry i didn't text earlier...just busy**

**B: hope ur ok, new job tomorrow**

**B: wish me luck**

Okay, that wasn't so hard and it was pure friendship. The only problem that remained was her worry that he wouldn't text back. Why should she immediately expect him to, she had waited almost two full days to respond. She really needed to go to sleep.

She turned out the lamp and for some reason, the only face she could picture in her mind was the one that had haunted her all these years. It was Edward, and he was looking at her like the pitiful weak girl that she was. He was the one staring at her with judgment in his golden eyes. She wasn't good enough, not for him, not for Seth and especially not for Jacob. She had to turn the light back on to pull out her journal. She flipped back through the pages and read through one of her many letters meant for Edward. They were words he would never hear, but important things she needed to say. She finally expelled the memories from her mind and lay in the darkness again as she practiced her breathing exercises.

She finally thought she had calmed down the inner workings of her mind enough to fall asleep. Her phone vibrated from under her pillow.

**J: luck**

That's all he said, but she swears, she went to sleep with a smile plastered on her face. Jacob Black sent her a one word text and her whole world felt like it had shifted on its axis. What was happening to her?

Seth was at the door at exactly 7:30. Bella gave Charlie an unexpected kiss on the cheek, "Bye Dad, Sue will be here soon. Call me if you need anything. Bye. Oh, and remember, I'll be late tonight."

"Go Bells, I'll be fine," Charlie told her.

Seth complimented her appearance, as he helped her into the truck. The two of them glanced back and forth at one another on the short drive to the school. Bella asked his plans for the day, since he was off work.

"Not much, maybe get together with some friends. I'll check on Charlie as well, so relax, he'll be fine."

"Thanks, Seth." He pulled into the parking lot and of course she had twenty minutes to spare. It wasn't like it took more than ten minutes to get anywhere in Forks. "So where are we having dinner or is it a surprise?" she asked to pass the time. She wasn't quite ready to go inside.

He smiled, "Surprise, if that's okay?"

"Um, for the record, I'm not a big fan of surprises, but in this instance, I'm fine with it. I hope you won't be too bored waiting for me while I'm in the doctor. It might be an hour or so."

"Nah, I'll find something to do." Bella shifted in her seat, thinking it was time to go in. Seth ended up getting out of the truck to tell her goodbye again. She felt proud of herself for instigating a hug.

"Thanks again, Seth. I don't know what I'd do without you," which was the truth.

Bella made her way indoors and went to the office to find out where she would be needed. The school secretary told her since it was the first day of school, lots of children would need help getting to the right place. Of course, Bella wasn't familiar with the school either, but she was given a diagram that included all the room numbers and teacher's names. She took that with her and helped out with the other teacher's aides. Lots of people came up to her and introduced themselves. It seemed most people knew who she was already. Again, that had something to do with her Dad and small town grapevines. She ended up feeling very relaxed and at home at the school. She was more certain than ever, she had chosen the right career field.

Bella was asked to help out in Mrs. Lindsay's room. She was the teacher who was expecting, so if she was going to stick around and possibly end up as the sub; it was the best place for her. She loved the children in that class. They were all so cute and eager to learn. The excitement of the first day of school filled the room. The day flew by and Bella had a chance to get to know the teacher, Kate. She ended up telling Bella she drove by the Swan house on her way to school. Bella mentioned she didn't have her vehicle running quite yet and Kate offered to give her a lift to school as long as she needed it. She gladly accepted because Seth had a job and she didn't want to keep asking him.

At the end of the school day, the final bell rang. Bella felt like it was a reminder that she was soon going to have to switch gears and go to a new therapist. She felt a cold chill run down her spine. She really hoped the doctor didn't make her recount every last detail of the past five years. She had requested that her records be sent over, so maybe the new doctor would read them and not make Bella have to repeat everything that was in them.

Bella headed outside to find Seth waiting for her. She was smiling the minute she saw him, "By the expression on your face, I can tell it was a good day," was the first thing he told her.

"Yes, it was. Maybe I'm also happy to see you? Did you ever consider that?"

For the first time, Bella swore she caught Seth blushing. It was pretty cute. She had no idea where that boldness came from. They drove to Port Angeles and Bella told Seth all about her first day. She informed him that he would not be expected to give her rides every morning, since Mrs. Lindsay volunteered.

"You know I don't mind, if you need to go anywhere; I'm more than happy to oblige you. If I know Jake though, your truck will be going tomorrow," he added.

Before she was truly ready, Seth pulled into the parking lot of Dr. Thompson's office. Of course, with her luck, there was a huge sign that also said, Adult and Adolescent Psychology. It wasn't like she was going to lie to Seth about where she was going, she just hoped she didn't have to explain all the details so soon. He gave her a sympathetic glance, but didn't ask any questions which was a huge relief. She climbed out of the truck and asked one more time if he'd be fine for the next hour.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be here when you're done and then we will go out and celebrate your great first day."

Bella checked in with the receptionist and sat down with a five page questionnaire about her mental health. She had filled out plenty of those, so she finished it in only a few minutes. She sat there about 15 more minutes before a woman came out and called her name.

"Hi Bella, I'm Dr. Thompson. It's nice to meet you," she extended her hand for Bella to shake.

Bella only said, "Hi."

They went into an office and Dr. Thompson pulled out a fairly thick folder. She had the records.

"Bella, let me start off by saying, it was very responsible for you to reach out to me so quickly after your relocation. I've had time to go over your file and I agree with your previous doctor, you're truly working towards recovery and we wouldn't want anything to give you a setback."

She asked Bella questions about Charlie and and her new job first, but then she went straight for the heavy duty topics. "Bella, when was your last hospitalization?"

Bella knew that was merely a euphemism for what Dr. Thompson really wanted to discuss. She didn't avoid calling it what it truly was, "It's been 18 months since my last attempt." She rarely said it aloud, but Dr. Thompson was staring at her records; of course, she already knew.

"You have come a long way, because this is the longest you have gone, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"And how many attempts were there?"

"Um, several...I don't know," Bella lied.

"Bella, if we can't be completely honest with each other, what's the point?"

"Six...six times I cut myself," she admitted.

"And it was always in the old scar, is that right?"

"Yes, the one I got when I was with Edward. That's the place I was always drawn to."

"Can you elaborate further? Your chart says that you've always claimed you didn't want to die and yet you always caused so much damage, you lost consciousness from the blood loss. Did Edward cause your injury? Why do you believe a scar links you to him if it was an accident?"

It was a lot of questions at once, but she had expected them. This is where she had to get creative with the truth. It was true, she never felt like she really wanted to be dead, but when the tingling started, it would eventually become torturous. She felt like the only way to stop it was to destroy it. She was honest that it was a relief to feel herself slipping away each time, and that she could finally escape the pain. She explained it as best as she could leaving out the supernatural aspects.

"Bella, I believe you're on the cusp of a full recovery, but I worry that your father, Charlie, remains in the dark about how drastic your condition has been in the past. Would you consider opening up to him?"

"No, absolutely not. My Dad just got shot, he's trying to rehabilitate his shoulder. He worries about me enough. I won't put that burden on him."

"Well, I realize you've only been back a few days. Is there anyone else you could see yourself maybe trusting enough in the future that you might feel comfortable enough to confide in? I think it's important you build a support system here, since you're so far from your mother. I'll be available to you, you have my personal cell phone number; but friends are very important."

Bella looked at the clock on the wall, they probably only had about 15 minutes remaining. She said she would try and get to know some of her co-workers better, but mainly she discussed how quickly she had connected with Seth. She talked about him a little, but she also brought up the situation with Jacob. Dr. Thompson made several notes as she talked about the two men.

"In the beginning of your treatment, it was wise to steer clear of jumping into another relationship. I'd say that now would be a good time to open yourself up to the possibility. It has been five full years. Everything I'm hearing you say about Seth sounds positive. I don't see how it would be a bad thing for you to continue to explore a friendship with him. Take things nice and slow and be honest with him. That's the best way to start out a relationship. He may just be the confidant I was suggesting you find."

"I'm not about to tell Seth how crazy I am," Bella protested.

"Bella, you're not crazy. You have a real medical condition, and you're seeking treatment. If you were a diabetic and took insulin, would you keep it a secret?"

"No, but you and I both know; people don't look at mental problems the same way as other medical issues."

"You're right, but you could help spread awareness. I tell all my patients that. I have to caution you though, I don't see what benefit a friendship with Jacob would provide you. He sounds like he has his own set of issues. I get that he is an old family acquaintance, perhaps he's brought about feelings of nostalgia. Don't confuse those with something else. There's not an issue with being friendly or cordial, but by no means should you try and do more than that. You're not strong enough to help someone else with their problems, so don't attempt it. You can't afford to bring yourself back down. You have come so far."

The two of them talked a little bit more, mostly about Bella's current prescriptions and how often she would be able to come in. Dr. Thompson was recommending two times a week for the first month and if Bella was adjusting well with her new surroundings; she should be able to only come in once a week after that.

Bella visited the restroom before going outside to meet Seth. She looked at herself in the mirror and wondered if she was in any shape to be good company to him. He had been so nice. She felt she had no choice, but to pull herself together. Hopefully, they could have a fun first date, if that's what this was. She walked out to Seth's truck, he jumped out to open the door for her. "Yep, Bella, you got yourself a date," her subconscious spoke to her as soon as she climbed in and she could see the excitement on Seth's face.

Seth took her to a hibachi grill. She was kind of apprehensive, because he bragged about how many unusual items they had on the menu. Bella was pretty use to her own cooking and was not very adventurous. She had nothing against Asian cuisine, but when Seth started talking about getting her to try sushi and things like octopus, she couldn't help but wince. "I'll probably stick to soup and fried rice," she told him.

He shook is head, "Nope, come on Bella, climb out of your comfort zone. I swear we're not leaving til you try something new." She figured she'd be able to get out of it, but they sat at a large table with other people. Seth didn't waste anytime letting everyone know it was her first time. She became the center of attention at the table. He had no idea how far he'd brought her out of her comfort zone. Seth ordered her fried rice, but also a variety platter. It had a little bit of everything on it. The chef was very exciting to watch. He had skills with his knives, it seemed more like a show than dinner. The whole table chanted for Bella to try the octopus. She managed with some of the sushi and Seth was right, she actually really liked several of the cooked versions. However, that barbecued octopus was a different story.

"Seth, please, I feel like it's staring at me." He kept holding up a piece between his chopsticks. He was enjoying her suffering way too much. "Ugh, fine," and she opened her mouth to let him cram it in. She swore the spicy flavor wasn't too bad, but the whole idea of it still kicked her gag reflex in. She grabbed her hot tea and washed it down as fast as she could. It was some sort of victory, the people cheered for her, so put her hands up like she had won a prize or something.

Seth put his arm around her, and whispered, "That was awesome, Bella. I'm so glad you came here with me." He kissed her cheek and there were a couple of "aww's" said.

Seth asked if she would like to go anyplace else, since they had an early dinner. He had already called his Mom. She and Charlie were watching TV, so she said for them to take their time. Bella knew it was a lame request, but she asked him if he minded going to the bookstore with her. He was very agreeable, because it turned out, he loved to read. Then they got on the subject of several of their favorite authors. Seth wasn't into the classics of much as Bella, but they both did love some of the current dystopian society series that were out there.

They stayed out for at least another hour. Seth said his Mom said Charlie was completely worn out from therapy and he had already gone to bed; so she was headed home. Bella knew Charlie had been fine every other evening, but she told Seth she should be getting home. She needed to get ready for work the following morning. She remembered Dr. Thompson's words about opening up to a possibility of a relationship. Seth wasn't the type to keep his emotions hidden. Bella knew he was crushing on her and instead of it feeling terrifying; it felt pretty nice. She'd already pushed aside the despair she felt having to spill her guts to her new therapist. Seth had something to do with that. This was a real date. What if he wanted to kiss her? Her stomach actually did a flip flop.

"You're awfully quite over there, Bella? I didn't scare you away making you eat strange creatures tonight, did I?"

"Oh, no...sorry Seth. I just get quiet easy, too much time alone. I'm not use to being around people, but I enjoyed myself. The restaurant was really fun."

They pulled up to the house. Charlie must have been out, no lights were on upstairs, only one lamp was on downstairs and the porch light. Of course, Seth walked her to the door. Her nervousness had shot up to an extremely high level. Even if she felt at ease with him, this was still brand new for her. Seth must have been a little nervous as well. He walked her up the steps, but then went back again. Then he came back up and walked the length of the porch. "Is something wrong? Are you looking for something?" Bella finally asked.

He shifted his eyes side to side again, "No, it's nothing...I thought I sme, um heard something, I mean."

She thought the moment had passed and he wasn't going to try for a kiss. She had unlocked the door with her key and was reaching for the knob, when his large hand reached out and covered her hand. His warmth traveled up her entire arm. She swallowed nervously, but she turned around to face him. He was so much taller than she was, she tilted her head up to look in his eyes. His expression was pure and honest. He moved in slow motion, most likely giving her a chance to refuse but she didn't. She wanted to see if she could really go through with it and not freak out. First she felt his hand come up behind her neck and next she felt his lips. It was a gentle kiss, they did move their lips together for a short time, but it wasn't particularly passionate. It still was nothing like she had ever felt. If she thought Seth's skin was hot, his lips had to be a few degrees hotter. He literally had warmed her entire body even in the night air. They broke the kiss, but Seth kept his forehead fused with hers, "Bella, I had such a good time tonight. When can I see you again?"

The way she was feeling, it made sense to tell him, "Anytime you're free. I can cook for you again. Just let me know when you want to come over. Thanks Seth and they hugged a little longer before Bella pulled away and went into the house. She went to the kitchen and made a big glass of ice water. She felt like it was necessary to cool herself down after that.

The next day went fairly quickly. Bella made a real effort to try and get to know more people. She was becoming more and more comfortable with Kate. They got along quite well even though she seemed to be a little ahead of Bella in the game of life. She had been married a few years and was expecting her first child. She complimented Bella on her interactions with the children. She was already hinting around that she should be her sub and it was only the second day.

Kate was going to give her ride home as well, but she said she had to run back inside for something she forgot. Bella planned to walk out to her car ahead of her, but on her way out into the parking lot, a familiar red truck sat parked in plain sight. The truck wasn't all that caught Bella's eye. He had brought it to her, and she didn't hide her enthusiasm of seeing him after four days. She ran out to him and jumped in his arms. She didn't even think about it, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world.

"Jake, you fixed my truck!" she yelled.

"Yep, I told you I would, so you ready to go for a test drive?"

"Sure, but hold on...I've got to let my ride know.

Bella turned around and saw Kate, she walked back over to her to let her know her truck was done and she would not be needing a ride, but she thanked her again for being a huge help.

"So does he come with the truck because if so, you got one hell of a deal, Bella?"

Bella blushed and giggled, "Um he's kinda of friend and my mechanic, so no, I don't get to keep him."

"Shame, girl...well have fun and let me know how that truck runs," she looked directly at Jacob who had a huge smirk on his face, "when you get to school tomorrow." Bella eyed him curiously, hopefully, he didn't read lips, because she knew he couldn't hear that across the parking lot.

Bella climbed back into driver's seat after all those years. It felt exactly as she'd remembered.

The truck came to life and Jake hopped in as her passenger. She headed out of the school parking lot and noticed right away, "Wow, Jake, it's running smoother than it ever did. How did you manage that?"

"Well, Bells I've learned a few things since I was fifteen."

She imagined he had, but she kept her mind on driving. She started to slow down as she got closer to Charlie's but Jacob had a request.  
"Hey, Bells, if you aren't busy. Let's go drive it a little more. I know the perfect place we can go, head out towards La Push and I'll show you the way."

She didn't even hesitate. She followed his directions as he led them out of town.

_**Thanks for reading.**_

_**Bella might be all over the place, because she is finding comfort and companionship in two different men. Remember she has shut herself away from the world for years.**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Thanks for the encouraging reviews. As always, I love all my readers. The story continues...**_

Chapter 6

Bella ended up on a unpaved, desolate road after performing all the twists and turns Jacob told her to make. She was sure the road was about to disappear, so she asked, "Jake, is this where we stop? It looks like we're out of road."

"Yeah, we'll have to walk the rest of the way."

She looked around, was he serious? It seemed like they had been going up at an incline for several miles and either he meant they were walking up further or downhill. Neither sounded too appealing to her. "How much of a walk are we talking about, because I didn't tell Charlie I wasn't coming right home."

"Relax, Bells...it's not that far and I already checked on Charlie today when I was finishing the truck. I even took him some lunch from the diner. A few of his buddies were stopping by for a visit, so I told him you and I were taking the truck out for a test drive. He knows you'll be late."

Bella stopped the truck off to the side even though she doubted anyone ever came up this direction. They got out and Jacob motioned for her to follow him. He led them to an obvious path that had been worn down from foot traffic. "You walk ahead, just in case you trip, I'll be back here to catch you." He joked.

"That's probably a good idea, but it's not too steep, right?"

"No, I promise it's not bad. If it was dangerous, I wouldn't have brought you."

Bella started walking, good thing she had decent shoes on and not her flats from yesterday. A couple of times the ground underneath her was uneven and caused her to wobble. Jake's hand always reached out and steadied her, before she had a chance to lose her balance. She could see the trees had disappeared just ahead of them so she assumed it was the end of the line and they were going to be somewhere up high. She highly anticipated the view, she assumed Jake wanted her to see. Jacob took the opportunity of the widening path to come up beside her. He moved ahead and took her hand. "I didn't want you to get ahead of yourself and let you walk off the top, Bells. There are no railings up there."

He stopped them on a grassy spot, she could see they could have even climbed higher, but the path ended at the grass. Jacob walked all the way to edge like he was fearless. Bella tentatively came up behind him and looked around his large torso. She didn't know what elevation they were at, but they were pretty high. She could see the coastline in the distance. "It's so beautiful Jacob. I love it. Do you come here often?"

"Yes, a lot actually," he admitted.

Stupid Bella ruined her mood when she asked, "With Nadia?"

"Nope," he answered, "She's terrified of heights."

"I've never brought anyone here, but something told me you'd like it, Bells."

"I do...so much. Thanks for sharing it with me."

Jacob sat down and she sat next to him. The sun was out and it was a particularly warm day for September, but there was a chill up so high. She could feel heat coming off of Jacob, and she took advantage and sat pretty close.

Jacob asked her about school and how she felt about being back. She didn't know what it was, but she felt so comfortable talking to him. She told him about the class she was an aide for and a little about Kate, the teacher. "It seems like you like little kids, is that right?"

"Yeah, I never thought I would before, after growing up an only child, but I really connect with them. They're pure and honest, and I don't feel like they're judging me. It's pretty refreshing."

"Yep, that sounds nice."

The two of them talked about all kinds of things from Jacob's garage to Billy and Charlie. She had almost forgotten any complications existed between them, they were so at ease with another. Jacob finally broached the subject, "So you and Seth, huh?"

Bella was caught off guard, she and Seth had one date just the night before. It wasn't like it would've been broadcasted.

"Um...yeah, Seth and I have spent some time together. How'd you know that?"

"I just might have heard something," he looked off in the distance.

"From Seth?" she asked.

"Not exactly..."

"Well, could you be more vague, Jacob?" She swore sometimes both Seth and Jacob dodged her questions on purpose.

"Don't worry about it, I was just a little surprised you'd start dating someone so fast. I actually never expected it to be Seth, but he's a nice kid. He'll treat you right."

"So now he's a kid? The other day after you picked me up, you laughed at me for calling him a boy."

"I think you called him a little boy and yeah, I think there's a difference between that and kid. I get it, he's technically a man, but I started being somewhat of mentor to Seth when he was barely 15, so I will always think of him as a kid, I guess."

"Oh..." Jake wasn't even two full years older than Seth, so she wondered why he would be put in the position to mentor him. Maybe it had something to do with Harry's sudden passing.

"It's fine, Bells. I know you think he and I are mad at each other, but friends have disagreements sometimes. We have had our fair share this year. I harbor no ill feelings against Seth. So, how do you feel about him? Are you guys going to date, are you his girlfriend? I'm just curious." He hit her with all those questions at once.

"I honestly don't know, Jake. Sure, I like him, we did go on a date; but for some reason you already knew that. I'm trying to take things slow. You know I have not even hung out with a friend in five years. I'm so far removed from what constitutes a normal relationship, it's not even funny."

Jacob looked extremely sympathetic, his arm made it's way around her. "You cold?"

"Little bit."

"Bella, you know you can trust me. What did Cullen do that you'd want to run away and shut yourself off from the world?"

"Um, I'd rather not say," more like she couldn't say.

"Are you sure, because if you need to get something off your chest, I'd be happy to listen."

Bella couldn't control her eyes, they fell to her arm and her sleeve had ridden up to expose her scar. Jacob was perceptive and he saw it at the same time as she did. Bella swears she felt him start to tremble next her. She took her hand and rubbed it down his arm til he stilled. "Jake, it's okay, it was a long time ago."

"He did that to you?" he wasn't good at hiding his anger.

"No, but he was there. Remember when I ran off and Charlie was frantic? Then I came back to Forks with a broken leg. I'd fallen down some stairs and went through a window."

"Yeah, and for some reason hearing you say that confirms what I always thought, that story is bullshit."

"Well, that isn't the issue and I don't want to talk about it. It's just after Edward left, I had a mental breakdown, Jacob. I can't believe I'm telling you this, but the scar reminded me of him and several times I reopened it with any sharp object I could get my hands on. Please don't say anything, especially not to Charlie, he doesn't know. Only Renee and Phil know and some unfortunate girl that found me in the school bathroom after I had an incident."

"Oh, Bells...I don't know what to say other than your life is worth so much more than that little prick, Cullen." He reached for her arm and let his fingers trace over the scar once. It kind of caused her physical pain, but she didn't say anything. "Please, don't ever try and hurt yourself again, honey."

"I don't plan on it, but sometimes it's a struggle. It wasn't til this last year that I've made real progress." She buried her face in her hands trying to come to grips with the fact she just told Jacob something she didn't share with anyone. "I can't believe I admitted that to you. My therapist told me yesterday to find someone to confide in. I never imagined doing that with you."

"It's okay, don't worry, I won't tell anyone. So, Bells, you have a new therapist? How'd that go?"

"She seems alright, but she thinks I shouldn't get too close to you."

"What? What'd you tell her about me? Damn, I'm three for three and yet here you are with me, huh?" He had a little smirk on his lips like he was proud of himself.

"Yep, I guess you bring out my rebellious side." she meant that as a joke, but it kinda was the truth. "For the record, she asked if I had met anyone since coming back. I told her about you and Seth. Anyways, she just felt spending time with Seth was a safer choice for me."

"Bells, I don't care what other people think they know. If you and I want to be friends, we don't owe anyone else an explanation. Am I right?"

"I agree, Jake." He kind of squeezed her with a one-armed hug after her declaration.

"Are you about ready to go?"

"Wait, one more thing. If I just spilled my guts to you, I would like it if you would answer a few questions for me."

"Okay...shoot."

"Jake, what's the deal with you and Nadia?"

He stood up and walked around in a circle. There wasn't a lot of room where they were, but he took full use of the space to get away from the question, obviously.

"She's my girlfriend."

"Thanks for clearing that up, but you know that's not what I meant."

"Bells, it's complicated, and I can't explain everything to you. The best I can do is tell you is that she and I are an unlikely pair, okay. I wasn't looking for a serious relationship, but it happened. She has some issues and it caused problems with my tight group of friends. None of them like her, and I've been a dick to most of them because of it."

"Do you love her? You must or you wouldn't put up with all the strife."

"Yes, but I don't want to," Bella thought he looked completely defeated as he said those words.

She looked at him like he was nuts, but she wasn't about to judge him. She hated all the people that made assumptions about her.

"Bells, really that's about all I can say. I know I suck because you've been so up front with me, but there is other stuff going on in the background. Things that involve the tribe, I'm not at liberty to discuss it. Maybe someday, I can tell you more, but you have to trust me. I still want to be your friend. When you came back, it was like I finally remembered who I use to be. I'd forgotten, since so much shit has happened over the past few years. I'm not going to interfere with your recovery, I swear." He pulled her up to stand next to him and he looked directly into her eyes. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes,"

"Prove it," he suggested.

"How am I suppose to do that?"

"Come here," he guided her closer to the edge. "Wanna feel like you're flying?"

"Not particularly," she said because she thought she knew what he meant.

"It's a great rush, come on, Bells. I want you to try it. I won't let you fall. Now, hold your arms out."

"Jake, is this like that scene from Titanic?"

He laughed out loud, "I guess except, I swear no one is going to die at the end."

"You promise?"

"Yes, Bells, I promise. Close your eyes if that helps."

She did and she felt Jacob walk with her a little more. He was right behind her. "Relax" he whispered in her ear. She tried, but it wasn't easy. She felt him stretch her arms out to the side and then his hands gripped her waist, not too tight, but firm enough she felt secure. "Alright, now open your eyes."

She did and it was amazing. It did feel like she was suspended in midair. It was beautiful. She would have never tried something like that on her own in a million years, but it was true. She did trust Jake and she knew he would never let her go.

"Tell me when you've had enough."

"Never, I could stay here forever," but she did start to feel a little dizzy from the rush, so she let her body lean a little more into Jacob's chest. After a few seconds of being fused together, he walked them back and then he released her.

"Come on, I better get you home before Charlie gets worried."

She had no idea how long they had been gone. It seemed like time stood still the whole afternoon she had been with Jake.

They got back to the truck and Bella went to the passenger seat, she wanted Jake to drive them. Before leaving he picked up his phone, she could see he was irritated once again. "You in trouble?"

"Are you?" was is question to her.

She looked at her phone as well. Seth had been trying to reach her.

He admitted, "Not all my messages were from Nadia, Seth wants to know what we're up to?"

So Seth had contacted Jacob about Bella's whereabouts. She wasn't sure she liked that. Jacob might be in a controlling relationship, but she wasn't about to start down that road again.

The trip back was a bit quicker since Jacob knew the way and he managed to get a little more speed out of the truck than she ever could. She was halfway expecting to see Seth's truck there, but it wasn't and she was relieved. The two of them were going to have to come to an understanding if she was going to be his girlfriend.

Jacob told her "goodbye" before she went into the house. She stayed on the porch until he drove away.

Charlie was sitting in his chair. His face lit up when she walked in. "How's the truck, Bells? Jake get it fixed up for you?"

"Yes, Dad, of course, it runs better than ever."

"You two were gone quite awhile."

"Yeah, we lost track of time. We've been getting reacquainted."

"I'm glad to hear that," was not what she was expecting Charlie to say.

"You are?"

"Yes, Bells. I worry about Jacob. He isn't the same since getting involved with that Nadia girl."

"You don't like her either?" God, did that girl have any friends?

"No, I don't at all. She isn't good for Jake. I got a bad feeling about the whole thing when he abruptly moved out of Billy's. She's got a record, you know?"

"What? You investigated her?"

"Hell yes, I did and I told Billy about it. He rambled on about tribal traditions and secrecy." Charlie shook his head like he was frustrated.

"Dad, for some reason, I get the feeling Jacob is forced into his relationship with her. You don't think the tribe arranges marriages or something? I mean, it's the 21st century. They wouldn't do that, would they?"

"I would hope not, but something is going on there and I haven't been able to get honest answers from my best friend. I first started asking questions the last time you were living here. He knew something about the Cullen's and I thought his superstitions were crazy, until I saw first hand what that little bastard was capable of. That family better never show up in this town again if they know what's good for them."

Bella threw her arms around Charlie's neck, "I love you Dad, let me run upstairs and change and I'm going to make you some supper. Do you mind if Seth joins us? I was about to invite him."

"No, of course, not."

Before she went upstairs she had to know. "Dad, you can't leave me in suspense. What kind of record does Nadia have?"

"Some petty theft when she was younger. One lady tried to put a case together that she had conned her brother out of a large sum of money, but those charges got dropped. It seemed to me she was some sort of con artist. She preyed on wealthy desperate men. I asked a friend of mine from Sequim some questions, that's where she grew up. She was a glorified prostitute if you ask me. I guess people can change, but I still worry about Jacob. He's young with a successful business. It fits her MO, I think she's using him."

Bella felt really disturbed and worried, but Jacob was a big boy. He was going to have to draw his own conclusions. Hopefully, one day he'd see the light.

Bella called Seth before she changed, "Hey Seth, you want to come over in an hour or so for dinner?"

"I guess so," was his only reply. She could tell he was annoyed at her, and they were definitely going to need that talk sooner rather than later.

"Well, do you or don't you? I wanted to spend time with you."

"Yes, Bella, I want to come. Sorry, I've had a bad day. I'll be there at 7."

She got busy in the kitchen and opted for a quick dinner, spaghetti and meatballs. Seth showed up just as everything was ready. He seemed like his normal, happy self again and she was relieved. Charlie was so obvious about staying in his chair to eat. He was giving the two of them privacy. It was nice to know her Dad supported her new relationship with Seth, as well as her friendship with Jacob. He had really blown her mind with his revelations about Nadia. She forced herself not to think about it, because she wanted to give Seth her full attention. She and Seth enjoyed their dinner alone and he helped her clean the kitchen. Charlie excused himself to go upstairs so they could have the living room to themselves.

Bella was anticipating Seth to finally ask about Jacob and he did. "I see you got your truck fixed."

"Yes."

"So you went driving with Jake today?"

"Yes."

"I guess you aren't going to listen to what me or Paul had to say."

"First off, I don't know Paul so no, I don't plan on listening to anything he has to say. Secondly, you and Jake are friends, so what's wrong that I'm also his friend? And don't say, Nadia. He and I already have talked about that." She reached out and took Seth's hand, "I really like you Seth and I want to spend time with you, but I'm not going to let you tell me what to do. I have been through way too much shit to be in a relationship like that." She was finally having some success at speaking her mind.

"Okay, Bella, I'm sorry. You're right, just be careful and be honest with me, okay?"

"Always...What do you want to do? Do you want to watch some TV?"

Seth pulled her in close. "Maybe later, but first I'd rather do this," and then he was kissing her in her next breath. She could get use to kissing Seth. He was hot and the boy could kiss. She didn't have anything real to compare it to. Edward was not something she even could or wanted to consider while she was kissing him. She felt pretty proud of herself for being involved in her first ever make out session, but Seth wasn't about pushing her, so he finally pulled away. He picked up the remote and found something for them to watch. She wasn't sure what it even was, her brain was full of mush. All she knew, is it felt really good to be cuddled up with him and she was certain, it was exactly where she needed to be.

The weeks went on and Bella had developed a good routine. Charlie was doing phenomenal with his rehab. He swore he was going to get the release from his doctor to go back to desk duty the next week. Bella was unsure about that at first, but she decided it was probably for the best. She could tell he was starting to go a little stir crazy and sometimes it made him grumpy in the evenings. She and Seth saw a lot of one another. They were moving pretty fast as far as establishing themselves as a couple, but Bella kept the reigns fairly tight on the physical side of their relationship. She was perfectly fine with the kissing, in fact, she enjoyed it a lot. However, the first time Seth's hand wandered a little too closely to her chest, she had a full on panic attack. She was very embarrassed and begged him to understand. She needed more time, she wasn't ready to take any step that felt sexual in nature. He was very understanding and assured her he would be as patient as she needed him to be. That was one of the reasons, he was so great for her.

She only had another week of her twice a week sessions with Dr. Thompson. Dr. Thompson seemed proud of her, but Bella was honest about how close she and Jacob had become. Her therapist still questioned that decision even if she did applaud Bella for finding someone she could open up to. "Be careful," was her warning. She had heard that phrase enough and couldn't understand what everyone's issue with Jake was. Seth may have been her boyfriend, but Jake was easily her best friend. She had never had one before, but she knew that is what he was to her. They got together a lot of days after school to go on drives or up to the cliffs. Sometimes, he came inside for dinner. There were even instances when she had Seth and Jacob over at the same time. The first time, was a little awkward, but eventually the egos died down and they enjoyed themselves. Bella felt kind of proud of herself. She thought she was doing her part at erasing some of the tension that had previously been evident between the two of them.

During the daylight hours, especially when she was around other people, Bella felt like she truly had a handle on her life, for once. However, late at night, she would lie in bed and questions would come up in her mind. She would relive certain memories. There were times when she felt like Jacob had a pained look if Seth displayed affection with her. She couldn't help but notice that sometimes when she was alone with Jacob, funny things happened to her body. She had feelings she shouldn't be having with a friend. He had shared his love for drawing with her. She actually kept one of his sketch pads under the seat in her truck. He would carry it up to the cliffs and draw. She usually brought a book with her and he liked her to read aloud to him while he drew. At first, he always drew the landscape, but lately he was drawing her. She was very conflicted about the way it made her feel. She promised Seth she would always be honest, and she was to a point. He knew she hung out with Jake, but neither of them ever divulged what they did together. It was very private to both of them and someone looking from the outside in, would not be able to understand it. In a way, she knew she indeed was keeping secrets from Seth. She needed both of them in her life, but she was the only one that would be able to discern what that meant.

She knew one thing, her mind completely betrayed her in her sleep. There were countless nights she'd wake up twisted and sweaty in her sheets to realize she'd been having one of those intimate dreams again. No matter, how many times she told her subconscious to stop it, it never failed. When her partner's face became clear to her in those dreams, it was never Seth.

_**Thanks for reading...would love to hear from you.**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**I enjoyed writing this one the most and it's a long one. Thanks to all of those that dropped me a review with the last one.**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight**_

Chapter 7

Bella was at the store once again after school. She was shocked at how often she went because of feeding Seth all the time and sometimes Jake. She couldn't figure how they put away so much food and both stayed in perfect shape. She was distracted putting away her bags, when a shrill voice came out of nowhere. "Bella...Bella Swan. Oh my god, finally we're running into each other."

Bella thought she knew who it was. Was she really in the mood for this? She knew she had no choice, but to turn around. "Jessica, heeeyyy, it's been a long time. How are you?" Bella looked at Jessica's large protruding belly.

She proudly rubbed over her very pregnant stomach, "Oh great, just busy. You know this is our second one. Our four year old keeps me busy."

Bella looked puzzled. Jessica acted like Bella should know who she procreated with. She should be honest and tell her she had never inquired one thing about her over these past five years. She had no idea who the poor sap was that ended up with Jessica, but she wasn't going to be rude. It wasn't worth it. She should find an excuse to get out of there as quickly as possible. She glanced at her groceries, cold stuff...that was her out. She needed to get those put away in the fridge. She was trying to open her mouth to explain that to Jessica, but she kept on talking. Finally, Bella caught on when she heard Jessica say "Mike" a few times.

"Oh, so you married Mike Newton?"

"Yes, silly, who else?"

"Oh yeah, well tell him I said, 'hi' and congratulations to you both on the children, but I need to be getting back to Charlie's."

"Sure, but first aren't you going to let me know what's going on in your life now that you're back in Forks." Jessica was fishing for details, so she could spread gossip about Bella, most likely.

"Well, there's not much to tell. I work at the Elementary school as an aide. I take care of my Dad, that's about it."

"Bella, come on that's not what I heard."

"What do you mean, what you heard?"

"Everyone knows you're dating that deputy, you know, one of those gorgeous Quileutes. How'd you manage that so quickly? It's because he works for Charlie, right? He wants to look good for his boss." She threw back her head in laughter trying to be cute.

Of course, Bella, knew she was insulting her, but she could care or less.

"Oh, I just thought of something...if you're seeing Seth, you probably know my friend, Nadia. She's practically engaged to Jacob Black. You know him right? Of course, you do, his Dad and your Dad are friends. So do you know her? She and I met a few months ago and became fast friends." Coming to the store today was quickly becoming one of Bella's worst decisions ever. Was Jessica ever going to stop?

"Um, no I've never met her."

"Oh, well she's really fun. We have so much in common and she's great with my son. I'll tell you a little secret...being around me has given Nadia baby fever. I wouldn't be surprised if she and Jacob didn't have one of these on the way soon." She again rubbed her stomach and as soon as she did, Bella felt sick to hers. There was no way what she was saying could be true. Jacob was not planning on having kids soon. She hoped not, at least. That sounded like the worst thing he could do, considering his not so stable relationship. What was with Bella's luck? Of course, Jessica would be friends with Nadia; it seemed fitting that someone two-faced and self-absorbed would find Nadia, "fun".

"Well, Jessica, as much as I enjoyed catching up...I have to go now, really, so maybe I'll see you around." Bella climbed into her truck, and looked back to see Jessica sashay to her car. She noticed she had her cell phone stuck to her ear already. She was probably calling everyone she could think of to tell about their encounter. She was certain whoever she was talking to, she would not portray her in a good light.

Even though, Bella had just restocked the fridge and pantry, she couldn't muster up the energy to want to cook. Seeing Jessica again and hearing about Nadia literally sucked the life out of her. She didn't know where Charlie was or when he was coming home. She figured Seth was on his way. She felt like calling him and telling him to pick up a pizza. Just as she was picking up her phone, Seth walked in. He walked over to her and lifted her into his arms. She kissed him and he said, "I've missed you so much."

"You were here last night," she pinched his cheek and kissed him again.

"Yeah, well that still too long. You haven't started dinner have you?"

"No, as a matter of fact, I didn't feel like cooking tonight."

"Well, you're in luck. Tonight we're going to my house. My mom's been cooking for hours. Charlie's already there. Everyone's waiting for us."

"Who's everyone?"

"Leah and some of the guys are coming over and Billy."

Bella looked nervous, she still hadn't met Seth's sister or his friends even though they had been dating over a month.

"Come on...they all can't wait to meet you, but remember what I've told you about Leah?" Bella frowned. Seth had explained to her that Leah was a little rough around the edges. "Don't get that worried look. It'll be fine. She's being nice today, I promise."

When they got to the Clearwater's house, Seth gave Bella's hand a reassuring squeeze. "Come on, they're all gonna love you."

Bella followed close behind Seth as they stepped inside. All the talking and laughter ceased and all eyes zeroed in on Bella.

"Aw, look who's here?" Paul walked over to her and threw his arm around her. She shrugged it off same as before. "Remember me, darling?"

She tried to give him a friendly smile, but it was more of a creeped out look. "Get the fuck out Lahote," a female voice came up behind him. She instantly recognized her from her picture, it was Leah.

She looked Bella over, she could feel her sizing her up. "So you're Bella?"

"Um, yeah...hi Leah, it's nice to meet you." Bella extended her hand and Leah shook it. "Ouch," she thought to herself. Bella had never felt a woman's hand shake feel so strong.

"Does the iced al...um I mean asshole know she's here?"

Seth shook his head. "I don't need his permission to have my girlfriend over, so drop it, Leah." Bella guessed she was talking about Jake, but she had no idea what she meant by that.

"So you and my baby brother, huh? Kinda robbing the cradle, don't you think?"

"Wha..." she started to say, but Seth interrupted.

"Leah," he warned.

"No, it's cool...if that's what you both are into. I just have one thing we need to get out in the open." Leah got really close to Bella. She was definitely in her personal space and she looked her square in the eyes, "I'm warning you now, if you hurt my brother...I will break your arm."

Bella wondered if she should laugh, because maybe Leah was trying to be funny, but she spoke up again. "No, seriously, I'll break it." Then she simulated how that would happen by doing a demonstration with her hands. She held both of them up and pulled them out and twisted them outwardly before dropping them at her side. Bella swore her arm actually hurt because Leah put on such vivid display. How was she even suppose to respond to that?

Seth gave his sister a warning look and hugged Bella close, "She's just trying to be scary, she would never do that, Bella. It'll never happen. Anyway, you'd never hurt me, right?"

Bella looked into Seth's trusting face. She hoped not, but she felt like she was forcing her words out when she replied, "Of course not."

Seth went on to make a few introductions. Bella was trying to attach all the faces to the names. She already knew Paul, unfortunately. There was Collin, Brady, Embry and one couple there, Jared and Kim. Embry seemed really nice. She instantly took a liking to him. She was also impressed when she realized Embry was the one that took Jake's place and took care of Billy. Apparently, Jacob's sister had promised to come home when Jacob moved out, but she backed out at the last minute. Embry didn't have the best home life, so he volunteered to move in with Billy.

Bella went into the kitchen to see if Sue needed help. Billy and Charlie were at the kitchen table. "Hey, Bella...it's great to see you again," Billy told her. He had come over a few different Sundays, but she still felt a little awkward around him. He knew something about the Cullen's and she didn't know what or how, but he made her a little uncomfortable. She was trying to get over her apprehensions, so she made her way around the table to give Billy and Charlie both hugs.

"Sue, can I help?"

"Absolutely not, go relax; I've got it covered tonight. It's time you got a break from the kitchen, you deserve it Bella," Sue told her.

Bella went back in the living room to rejoin the group. There was only a tiny space left on the sofa between Seth and Paul. She squeezed in. Seth whispered in her ear, "You can sit in my lap if you don't want to touch Paul."

"Seth..." she blushed.

Bella tried to figure out what the conversation was about. It seemed like everyone was talking at once. She couldn't help but stare a little at Kim. Jared was just as handsome as the rest of the others, but Kim was not very pretty. Bella felt ashamed for thinking that. It wasn't like she considered herself a great beauty, but she did wonder what attracted Jared to Kim. She must have a really good personality.

After a few more minutes of observing, she wasn't so sure about that either. Kim actually came across as very annoying and dumb. She lost count of how many times she said, "What?" or "I don't get it." Every time she opened her mouth, she swore the guys, excluding Jared, took turns rolling their eyes at her. Seth was watching Bella, he leaned over and whispered in her ear, "I'll tell you later."

Soon, Sue came out and announced dinner was ready. She had everything set up buffet style, since there were so many mouths to feed. There wasn't a table large enough to seat all of them. The guys weren't shy about filling up their plates and heading back into the living room to eat. Seth nudged Bella with his knee, "Get up there Bells, before these bottomless pits take it all." He helped Bella cut in front of Collin and Brady, so she could make a plate.

Bella took her time eating, because her nerves had caused her stomach to feel a little funny. She was use to watching Seth and Jacob eat; it was kinda funny to have a whole room full of men who took their food way too seriously. She heard Paul arguing with Collin in the kitchen about the last piece of chicken.

Paul came back in, victorious; he asked Seth with his mouth full of chicken, "So are we all on for a bonfire next Friday night? Jake finally said, 'whatever' so I took that as a 'yes'."

"Yeah, I'm excited about it."

Bella looked a little confused.

Seth noticed, "We all get together and barbecue some food, build a huge fire on the beach. We have music, it's a party. We use to have them all the time, but...well, no one felt like it for a long time, but you'll have lots of fun. I promise."

"Okay, but won't it be kinda cold?"

"You know you're never cold with me. It'll be great," he winked at her.

"You done?" Seth asked her and she shook her head. He took both of their plates into the kitchen. Jared announced that he and Kim had to get going. As soon as they left, Bella finally got an earful about what everyone thought of Kim.

"Damn, I don't know why Jared never took my advice about gagging and bagging that bitch," Paul stated. "We'd all be a lot better off, am I right?"

Even Seth was laughing, as they all agreed. Bella could see why they all couldn't stand her, but Jared was their friend. She felt bad for him that they were all so obvious with their dislike for Kim. She imagined that is why he was so quick to leave after dinner. It probably made it very uncomfortable for him.

Collin asked Paul if he really had said that to Jared. "Hell yes, I did. That fucker almost broke my jaw even though I was trying to help."

"Better be careful, Lahote; you never know when you might stumble upon your own Kim," Leah said sarcastically.

"Nope, not I. It'll never happen to me. I've got myself covered, I never look em in the eyes. I prefer to only see the top or the back of their heads, so I'm good."

Bella looked horrified at how crass Paul was. How could he talk about women like that? Did he seriously believe looking in girls' eyes was what caused people to fall in love. Seth kicked him in the leg. "Shut the fuck up, Paul. Do you not have any manners? Bella doesn't want to hear about your skanks. Keep that shit to yourself."

She had really had enough interaction for the night. "Hey Seth, I want to see your room," she announced wanting to get away from the crowd.

"Yeah, Seth. You know what that means? Or do you? Come here and let me whisper it to you," Paul said. Bella was humiliated. Why did Paul have to make everything sound dirty. She couldn't figure out why he and Seth were even friends. They were as different as night and day.

Seth ignored him and led Bella to his room. She giggled, his room was too cute. She swore it probably hadn't changed since he was like fourteen.  
"I know...in my defense, I'm rarely home. I only use it for sleeping. I don't bother changing it because I'm moving out soon as soon as I finish my house."

"House? You have a house, Seth? How am I just now hearing about this?"

Seth told her that his aunt had a little cottage on the edge of the reservation she had left to his mother. She passed away when he was kid from breast cancer. "Mom doesn't want to live there and she never wanted to rent it out, so she offered it to Leah first, but she doesn't want it. So, yeah, Bella...it's my house. It's been empty for a long time. I'm redoing most of the inside. I use to work on it a lot, but since Charlie got shot and you came along; I haven't spent any time there."

"Wow, Seth...when can I see it?'

"How about now? It's still light out for a little bit longer, plus I have the electricity running again for my tools. Let's go, do you want to?"

"Sure, why not?" Bella was intrigued that Seth hadn't mentioned this yet.

They told everyone "goodbye" and headed out, so Bella could see this house that made Seth's face light up every time he mentioned it.

Bella was following Seth out to the truck when Jacob drove up. Bella never expected to see him there tonight. She remembered what Leah had asked Seth earlier. Why did she say he was iced? "Hey Jake," she waved.

He looked rather stoic, "Where are you two off to?"

"I'm taking Bella on her first tour of my house," Seth proudly announced, "What are you doing here?"

"Oh," he looked at Bella. She felt uncomfortable all of the sudden. "I'm looking for my Dad."

"Are you busy this weekend, Jake? I didn't see much of you this week," she asked.

"Yeah, I got shit I have to do, maybe we can hang out Monday."

"Oh yeah, I've got a workday...I should get out early, no students. Well...bye," she said before climbing into the cab of Seth's truck. She couldn't resist glancing back in the mirror. He was still standing in the same spot watching them drive away, and she wondered why he seemed so sad.

The house wasn't too far away from the Clearwater's, but Bella didn't think she had ever been to that part of the reservation. It was pretty remote to all the other populated areas. They pulled up to the little white cottage with green shutters. It was kinda small, but looked like the perfect size for a bachelor or a starter home. He took her hand and led her through the front door as soon as he unlocked it. It was pretty much ripped apart inside. Seth had gutted it and had started over with a clean slate. She could definitely see the potential though. There were plenty of large windows and it had a nice floor plan. It was only two bedrooms and one bathroom, but Seth had opened up the kitchen/eating area with the living room, so it appeared larger than it was.

"So?" he asked.

"Seth, it's great. I love it, you have to start working on it again. I can help you," she offered. "Of course, me and power tools don't mix, but I could help you with painting and decorating. I would love to help you pick out the window treatments." She looked down at the floor. Maybe she was getting ahead of herself. Seth never said he wanted help. It did seem pretty personal to be involved in decorating his house, since their relationship was still so new. It really didn't feel like it was, they were becoming more and more comfortable with one another.

"Sure, Bella...I would love to have a woman's touch for this house. It isn't like I want it to end up like my embarrassing teenage bedroom back home." Bella walked into the kitchen area. There was a bar area that he had built but it wasn't covered, it was still the bare wood.

"Whatcha plan on using for countertops?"

"Not sure, yet. You know how quick the kitchen costs can add up. I don't have a huge budget for this remodel. That's why I'm taking it slow and doing most of the work myself. Quil helps me when he can."

"Oh, why didn't he come tonight?"

"He had something else he had to do, but you'll meet him next weekend at the bonfire."

Bella saw darkness had come quickly and the only light in the room was one overhead light over the breakfast nook. It was a pretty dim light, and Bella could tell right away, Seth had a glint in his eye. He lifted her up to the bar and stepped in between her legs, "I told you I missed you and now I've got you all to myself here." The two of them got involved in a very heated make out session. Bella felt like her wall of frigidity was slowly beginning to crumble. She was the one that kicked it up a notch by pulling him in tighter with her legs. Seth responded by trailing kisses down her neck which inadvertently caused her hips to jerk into him a little more. He moaned into her ear and she feel a tingle run down her spine. They kissed some more and she liked the way his hot fingers felt on the skin of her back. He was rubbing up and down her lower back, but when she felt one of them trace under her bra hook, she stiffened. She really didn't want to have that reaction, Seth was so good to her and she really enjoyed being with him. No matter how much she felt like he was turning her on; she still couldn't go further, at least, not yet. He was quick to catch on and pulled back. "I guess we should go."

"I'm sorry Seth..."

He touched her lips with his finger, "Shh, it's okay, Bella. We'll get there. You know how I feel about you, don't you?"

"Seth..."

"It's okay, I know it's all happening so fast and you're probably still worried, but I'm here for you. You're special to me, and I can wait."

They headed back to Charlie's soon after. Bella decided to bring up Kim and Jared, the unlikely couple. "So Kim is kinda different, huh?"

"That's a very polite way of putting it. She's an idiot, Bella."

"Well...I haven't had the chance to spend that much time with her, but okay. What does he see in her?"

Seth looked ahead at the road and she assumed he didn't want to talk about it.

"It seems to me like, for some reason, none of you ever tell me the full story. You and Jake both will start to tell me something and then you clam up. I don't understand, is there some secret club that I'm not an official member of, so you can't teach me the secret handshake?"

"It's not a club, Bella."

"Well, what is it then?"

"It's...it's nothing and hopefully, some day soon I can answer your questions better. One thing I can tell you is that out of all the girlfriends, you're the only one anyone likes."

"Why? They barely know me."

"You're different," was his only answer.

"How?"

"You're just different, so take that as a compliment. Even Paul likes you. I know he has a funny way of showing it, but he was actually on his best behavior tonight."

"Oh my god, I'd hate to see what's bad behavior for him. I found myself feeling sorry for all the faceless women out there he demeans. Sam's married, isn't he? So are you saying you don't like his wife either?"

"Hell no, she's a rude bitch. Oh yeah, she happens to be my cousin if you didn't know that."

"No, I didn't, and you can't stand your own cousin?"

"Nope, Sam use to date Leah in high school until that bitch came along."

"Ew, that's pretty bad. She broke up her own cousin's relationship. Let me guess, she and Nadia get along?"

"Oh yeah, they're joined at the hip."

"Well, to tell you the truth, I ran into Jessica Newton earlier and she's friends with Nadia too. She told me all about it after trying to make me feel like dirt when she insinuated you're only with me to score points with Charlie."

Seth looked pissed to hear that, and Bella knew it wasn't true. "What a bitch, don't listen to anything she has to say, Bella. I happen to know the only reason Newton married her was because he knocked her up end of senior year and his Dad insisted on it. He spends most of his free time down at the local bar trying to drink away the reality that is his life."

"Oh well, he was kind of a pest in high school, but I actually feel sorry for him." She waited a few minutes before asking, "Did you notice, Jake seemed upset as we were leaving? I wonder what's up?"

"No, he seemed like himself to me. Bella, he really isn't that nice. For some reason, he only acts pleasant around you."

"Seth," she was about to get onto him.

"It's fine, I get it. I was wrong and you were right, being friends with Jake is a good thing. He's halfway human again and he seems to be very supportive of you. I wasn't trying to sound jealous. I'm not." Even if Seth said he wasn't jealous, she dropped the topic of Jacob to avoid any disagreements.

Bella had a pretty laid back weekend. Monday was going to be an easy day because the kids were off. She mainly needed to help Kate with some upcoming projects and redo a few bulletin boards. The kindergarten teachers had it a little easier than the rest of the teachers, since they weren't all tied up with grading like the older grades were. She started work at the regular time, but Kate assured her they would be out of there by two. Bella hadn't heard from Jacob at all, so she didn't know if he still planned to come over that afternoon. The morning flew by until Kate announced right before noon, she was starving and asked if Bella would go to the diner with her.

They were seated in the middle of the diner and the lunch crowd was also there. Forks wasn't known for its sit down eateries, so this was everyone's go to place that actually went out for lunch. "This is great, isn't it? We finally get to talk away from school." Kate told Bella. It was nice and Dr. Thompson had been asking Bella why she hadn't done anything with her co-workers yet. She would be sure to pass this along to her.

"Thanks, for asking me Kate."

"I've got to admit, I have ulterior motives. I want the low down on those hot guys you spend so much time with. We can never speak freely at school with all those little ears."

Bella looked around at the room full of people because she wasn't sure she still wanted to speak freely out in public. She really didn't know what exciting information Kate thought she had to share.

"Come on, girl you've got to spill. I've been playing the everyday housewife role for a while now, help me remember my wild days."

Bella laughed at that ridiculous statement. "I think you've got me confused with someone else. There's absolutely nothing wild in my life."

"But Bella, I've seen them. Seriously, which one of them is giving you the D? Oh my god, don't tell me. It's both of them isn't it? This story is going to be so juicy." Kate rubbed her hands together in anticipation of some torrid love affair that did not exist.

"No...no, it's not juicy at all, Kate. Seth is my boyfriend and Jake is just a friend. I'm not getting the...um, well, nevermind." She couldn't even say the initial, it was too embarrassing. Did Kate want her to announce to the whole diner about her long lasting virginity?

"Well, it's probably for the best that you're not fooling around with Jacob Black. When I finally figured out that was who you left with that second day of school, I was a little worried for you. You do know his girlfriend is certifiable, don't you?"

"So, I've heard. He and I are childhood friends. I don't have anything to do with her."

"Well, good, but you should talk to the other aide, Liz. Her brother dated her. They all went to the same school. She can tell you some stories. Also, from what I heard she went around to every girl that had previously known Jacob when they got together and issued a formal warning to stay away. How'd you manage to miss out on that?"

"Um, I guess he doesn't tell her about me. What I really mean is I know he doesn't."

"Oh, sounds to me like this is a little more than a friendship, B."

Bella tried to sound as convincing as she could, "No, nothing is going on. We're just good friends. I'm with Seth."

"You poor thing, you're so confused. It's written all over your face," she told her.

Bella began to wipe her face with her hands, hoping to remove whatever Kate thought she was seeing.

"Bella, tell me which one do you find yourself fantasizing about late at night or when you're bored? Which one makes you hot and bothered?"

"Um, Kate...really me and Seth are together. We're just kind of in a new relationship, so we're taking it slow."

"So you never have sex dreams about Seth or Jacob, because that's a dead giveaway if you are. Which one is it?"

Bella looked absolutely horrified, because she was having sex dreams about Jake all the time and she couldn't believe Kate asked that question, but at the same time Jacob had just walked in the diner with his arm around the bitch, Nadia. She was facing the entrance, but Kate's back was to them. She swore her meal was going to come up on the table, she felt so sick.

Kate mistook the look for the truth and she repeated it, "So it's true sweetie, you dream about hitting the sheets with Jacob Black, don't you? What're you going to do about it?"

She had at least whispered the question, but Jake turned and looked straight at her. She couldn't begin to read the expression on his face. Perhaps, he was just alarmed to see her while he was with Nadia. She knew there was no way he heard Kate over the roar of the diner crowd. All she knew was she had to get out of there immediately. She needed air. Fuck...she swore to herself. She needed one of her pills, she was getting ready to have a panic attack. "Kate, I've got to get some air, here..." she reached in her bag for money.

"No, this is my treat. Take my keys and go to my car, I'll take care of the bill." Kate stood up and turned around to see Jacob and Nadia. She gave Bella a knowing nod and Bella slipped behind them. She didn't make eye contact with Jake again and she didn't even think Nadia ever turned around to see her.

Kate soon came out to the car, "Well that was a close one, huh? Scary bitch, I swear Bella, you need to find a way to get over your feelings for him. I wouldn't put physical violence past that girl. You don't need that kind of drama, you're way to sweet."

"Thanks for everything, Kate, but can we please not talk about my personal life anymore. I'm a very private person."

"Sure thing, honey, but if you need to spill; I'll listen anytime: day or night, just call me."

Bella only had to work about two more hours. She was going to carry some of the future crafts and projects home to do some cutting and sorting so they could have more time to do hands on activities in the classroom. Bella had put everything in one large box. She unlocked Charlie's door, he was at PT still. She picked the box up and backed herself up into the house. It was a cloudy afternoon and the house was rather dark. As soon as she turned, she saw the silhouette of an intruder sitting at the table. She almost dropped the box, before she realized who it was. "Jesus, Jake...what're you doing sitting here in the dark? You scared the hell out of me."

"Sorry, I let myself in with the extra key."

"Yeah, one day I'm going to get rid of that key. Well, what are you doing?" She asked again.

"I came to check on you."

"Why?"

"Because I was worried about you."

"I don't know why, you just saw me, I'm fine."

He stood up, from the table and walked over to her, "I don't think you are."

"Why wouldn't I be? I know how things are. We're friends, right?" She was restating the obvious. He shook his head at her. "Sooo...we're not friends?"

"Bells...I think it's about time we get it all out in the open?"

"I...I don't know what you mean, Jacob."

"Yes you do," and then he reached out and touched her shoulder; his hand ran down the length of her arm and he took her hand and held it tightly in his. They had some incidental hand holding before, but this was different. It wasn't like he was helping her up or down the hill. He was purposely holding her hand. She wasn't sure why she felt like she couldn't breathe and she regretted not taking her anxiety pill.

He spoke again, his voice was low and hoarse, "You and I are not just friends. You don't have to pretend with me."

She pulled her hand away from him and stepped away. She didn't think she could look at him. She didn't want to do this. She couldn't have this talk with him. He didn't let her go. Instead, he came up behind her and got as close as he could. She could feel ever inch of his large, hard body pressed against her. He brought his hands around her waist and put his face next to hers. She felt his breath on her cheek, but she froze. She couldn't move. Did she really want to? His mouth went to her ear and then down her neck. He started to give her hot, open mouth kisses to that side of her neck. Her legs felt like jello, if it wasn't for him holding her up, she would have crumbled to the floor. She needed to stop him, but she couldn't will herself to do it. He kept taking deep breaths in between the kisses and she had never felt so aroused in her entire life. It was so wrong, but she wondered what it would be like to really kiss him on the mouth. If she turned around right then, that's what he'd do, so she stayed with her back to him.

"Bells, tell me what you want and I'll do whatever I can to make it happen, " he said in her ear.

She said the only lie she could manage, "I want you to leave. That's what I want. We can't do this Jake." She finally got enough strength to pull away, and face him. Damn her eyes for tearing up in front of him. "Go Jacob," she pointed at the door.

He looked defeated, "Okay, Bells, I'll go; but one day, you're going to ask me to stay and when you do, I will."

_**Thanks so much for reading.**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N~ Special thanks to all of you who are following and to those that added it to your favorites or left me a review last time. I really appreciate it. This update will be in two-parts. I'll get the next one up the same day, fingers crossed. One of my guest reviewer put it best when she pointed out that imprinting seems like a curse. That's was my initial idea for the story. I want a fic where imprinting is a curse instead of a blessing. I'm not that far off the mark, from the original story: Sam left Leah for her cousin, Quil imprinted on a toddler, Jake imprinted on a baby (cringe), etc. My alternative is that even though the wolves accept the imprint, they are not necessarily content.**_

_**So there is no confusion: here's the list of imprints**_

**Sam-Emily**

**Jared-Kim**

**Quil-Claire (who's 8 in this story)**

**Jacob-Nadia (newest imprint)**

**Notice that Seth does not have an imprint and neither does Paul (he's much more fun single)**

Chapter 8 (part 1)

When he shut the door, the reality of what had just occurred hit Bella with overwhelming force. She went over to the sofa to sit down. She started taking deep cleansing breaths, but it wasn't helping. She reached in her bag and retrieved her meds. She swallowed that little, green pill dry. Charlie was going to come home any second. She didn't want to face him, because she was such a mess. He couldn't see her that way. She thought of a solution rather quickly.

"Sue...um, it's Bella. I must be coming down with something. I...I really need to go to bed. Is there any way you can stop by and help out Charlie tonight? He barely needs any assistance, I'm sure you know; but I don't think I can even prepare his dinner." The lies easily poured out of her mouth.

"Oh, sure thing, sweetie. What can I do to help you? You sound really shaky. Want me to get Seth over there?"

"No!" she almost shouted in the phone. No way, could she see Seth right then. "I'm headed straight for bed, that's all I need right now."

"Okay, well take care and don't worry, I'll be there in a half hour or so. Go get some rest and let us know if you need anything."

"Bye, and thanks, Sue."

Bella went upstairs and stripped off her work clothes and put on a tank top and sleep shorts. She climbed in between the sheets and pulled up the blanket. It was only about four in the afternoon, but the darkening clouds made it seem later. She thought she really should make one more phone call. She pulled out her cell again and dialed Dr. Thompson. She left a message, "Dr. Thompson, it's Bella...something happened today. I think we should talk and it's three days before my next appointment. I don't know if I can wait that long." She hung up and let her head fall back down to the pillow, sliding the phone under its edge. She soon felt a vibration, maybe Dr. Thompson was between patients and was getting back to her right away. She looked and it was a text from Jacob.

**i'm sorry...please don't freak out**

**don't shut me out**

**i'll give you some space, but we need to talk**

No, no no was all that ran through her mind. She knew all along, she felt something for him, but as long as she knew he only wanted friendship; she could control herself. After what he had just said and the way he touched her and kissed her; she knew all that control had been annihilated. Why would he do what he did, when he was so committed to Nadia? How many times had she heard, he would not leave her no matter how twisted she was? She had to send him away, that was the only way she could save herself. It was evident she could never hang out with him again. What would she tell Seth? She guessed he would have no trouble believing that Jacob did something to make her mad, since he was so quick to point out his borderline personality disorder. She wished she could fall asleep. She did have a bottle of sleeping pills for emergencies. She hated the way they made her feel hungover the next day. She thought she should try a little harder to rest on her own and not rely on pharmaceuticals.

After staring at the ceiling for at least a full hour, her phone buzzed under her pillow. "Please don't be Jacob, please don't be Jacob," she chanted. It was Dr. Thompson.

"Bella, are you okay?"

"No, not really," she answered.

Dr. Thompson stayed relatively quiet while Bella recounted the entire encounter with Jacob. She started off with how she ran into him at the diner with Nadia and ended up with her dismissing him for trying to seduce her. She left out the part that the real reason she told him to leave was not because of what he was doing, but because of how bad she wanted him to do it.

"Bella, do you need to come in?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Do you feel like you are in danger of hurting yourself?"

"No, I just want to sleep. I want to forget about it."

"Well, if you really need to, take your sleeping medication, but instead of forgetting you need to figure out how to face it. You've allowed yourself to develop feelings for someone who isn't available. I thought you truly cared for Seth?" Dr. Thompson asked.

"I do," Bella meant that.

"Bella, you have the tools to deal with this. You know what you need to do. Jacob and you are both attached to other people, so there is only one healthy choice. I trust your ability to do the right thing."

"Thanks, it feels nice to hear you have confidence in me. I know, I've already decided I'm not going to see Jacob any longer."

"Okay, well...take some time to rest and I'll see you on Thursday unless you need me sooner."

Bella could hear Sue and Charlie downstairs. She thought one of them might open the door to check on her soon. She reached in her drawer and took two of her sleeping pills. She continued to stare at the ceiling until she finally couldn't hold her eyes open any longer.

Bella woke up around 6:30, she had been asleep more than 12 hours. She felt groggy like she knew she would. There was no way she could go into work. She called into the line designated for those type of messages. She stated her name and school and that she was too ill to make it into school. She also left a text message to Kate so she would know she wouldn't be coming in. Bella rolled back over. She knew Sue had already planned on taking Charlie to his doctor's appointment. He was going to be getting his release back to work today. She noticed she had a couple of missed calls from Seth and some messages from him as well. She quickly replied.

**still sick...called into work maybe i'll be better tonight**

She didn't have anything from Jake, and now in the light of a new day, she was rethinking a few things. Maybe they should talk again. She had thought of a few things she really wanted to say to him in order to obtain some closure for herself. That was one of her many downfalls after Edward. There was never any closure for her after her relationship with him.

She easily slipped back into a deep sleep for another hour or so. Her stomach ached and cramped from lack of food. She was fast approaching over 20 hours without anything but pills in her system. Bella got up just in time to see Charlie and Sue headed out the door. Charlie paused to check on her, but she assured him she was getting better and she would try and rest up the duration of the day.

She made a bagel and poured some orange juice and coffee for herself. She decided to sit on the couch and watch some TV. She needed a shower, but maybe she would soak in the tub instead. While she was in the bathtub, she spent some time focusing on her scar. She was telling the truth to Dr. Thompson, that not a single thought of harming herself had come to her. She felt like she finally had a handle on that demon that had taunted her so many times before. She could already feel herself getting back to normal. Yesterday was only a standard panic attack. She'd made an error in judgment, but she wouldn't allow Jacob to divert the current path she had chosen. She enjoyed being back at Charlie's, she loved her job and Seth was very important to her. Those three things would be her focus from now on.

Charlie got his back to work release. He went straight from the doctor's office back to work. He had left Bella a message he'd be home at quitting time. He wanted to celebrate with beer and pizza. Bella was happy for him and she actually felt like a nice greasy pizza. She spent the rest of the day reading and napping until he came in with an extra large pizza and a 6 pack.

"You look a helluva a lot better. Must've been a 24 hour thing, huh, kiddo?"

"Yep, I guess you're right."

Seth had called to check on her and said he might stop by a little later. He didn't want to keep her up though since she planned on working in the morning.

The rest of Bella's week felt normal. She went back to work Wednesday. She had seen Seth both Tuesday and Wednesday night and she was happier than ever with him. She had not heard from Jacob again and she was thankful for that. She had gotten home Thursday with just enough time to run into the bathroom and make a quick change before she needed to get on the road for her 4 o'clock appointment. A familiar motorcycle was sitting in the driveway. She had zero time for this encounter. He was on the porch. "Jake, I'm late, I've got to run in and change and go see my therapist. You should leave, we've got nothing to say to each other."

She went upstairs and did exactly what she intended, but when she came back out, he was still there.

She looked around, his bike was gone.

"I put it in the garage."

"Why?"

"Because I'm going with you. When you get out of your appointment, you and I are going to talk."

She started shaking her head vigorously side to side, "No you aren't...no we're not!"

He climbed in the passenger seat despite her protest. "If you can get me out then I won't go, but we both know that won't happen so get in and drive?"

She couldn't believe his nerve, but he was right she couldn't move him. She gave up arguing with him, climbed in and started to drive but she completely ignored him. He didn't say anything and neither did she. It was like he wasn't even there. Well, that was a huge lie because he had such a presence she could literally feel him even if she wasn't physically touching him.

She pulled up at Dr. Thompson's and said, "I'll be in there an hour and when I get out, we're finishing this..."

"Sure, sure...whatever you say, Bells?"

She screamed out a frustrated noise and slammed the door.

She had a good session with Dr. Thompson. Bella told her all the positive methods she had adopted to quickly regain control, essentially stopping herself from a downward spiral. Dr. Thompson was very complimentary. They were in the last 15 minutes of the session when she asked if there were any last thoughts Bella wanted to share. That is when she finally blurted out, "Jacob is sitting in my truck waiting to talk."

"What? Why did you bring him? Did you not mean anything we just talked about?"

"No, I meant them, he just showed up as I was leaving. Jake isn't the type to take no for an answer."

"Well, Bella you must know that isn't a positive quality in a man. He sounds like he has real problems. You need to be firm. If I were you, I'd leave him and make him take a cab home. That would be a very empowering move for you."

Bella assured her, it would be the last time they would be alone together and that she was going to handle it. She wondered if Jacob might have reconsidered and left, but no such luck he was still in her truck when she went back out. In fact, that infuriating man had gotten behind the wheel. Now she really was at his mercy. He was going to take them wherever he wanted.

She felt like if she went along with him, she could finally let him know what she really thought of him and then he would leave her alone for good.

He drove them to a small park in Port Angeles. "Do you want to go sit outside or stay in the truck to talk?"

"Here's fine."

"Bells, I don't know where to start. I'm sure, right now, you think I'm the biggest asshole that ever lived, but I need you to forgive me."

"This goes beyond simple forgive and forget Jacob. I trusted you, you were suppose to be my best friend. It doesn't matter that I think you're way to good for Nadia, you're still with her and I'm with Seth. He's your friend. Doesn't any of that mean anything to you?"

"Yes...but you mean more to me," he confessed.

"How Jake? How can what you're saying be true?"

"Bella, I don't know. The truth is when my Dad told me to pick you up at the airport, I was reluctant. I use to have the biggest crush on you when I was 15/16, but it had been years. I wasn't the same anymore. I didn't know what to expect, but when I reconnected with you; something unexpected happened. I started to want to be around you all the time. You made me feel like myself again. You know we have a special connection, Bells. Get out my sketch pad...look at the last drawing." Bella pulled it out and turned to the page he was talking about. She stared at sketch he had done. "How does it make you feel when you see how I see you through my eyes?"

"I..." she wasn't sure how to put it into words. He made her feel beautiful, and special. When they were together those times on the cliffs, she could easily pretend Nadia didn't exist. "Jake, I love it when you draw and I read. What else can I say about it? Yes, I feel the connection; but what do you want from me if you won't leave Nadia?"

"Bells, listen...I'm going to explain some things to you in a few days. I just have to get this damn bonfire out of the way first. Speaking of that, I really don't think you should go."

"Why?"

He sighed heavily. "Believe me, I was going to skip it at first, but I'm getting heat from my Dad and the counsel. I have specific responsibilities and according to them, it's all my fault that there is a high level of discord going on with the younger generation. I have to go and if I'm there, she will be too. Please don't go, Bells."

"You really have a lot of nerve Jacob. I'm going, Seth wants me there."

"Fine, I'll try and steer clear of you then. It'll be easier on both of us."

She was starting to feel very angry. He'd almost done it. He'd almost succeeded in pulling her back in, but she couldn't help but question his motives.

"Bells, spit it out, I can tell your pissed. I get it, I don't blame you."

"What you universe do you reside in Jacob? I'm not about to be your dirty, little secret. Let's go, I need to go home."

"Goddammit, Bells," he pounded his fist onto the steering wheel. "That's not what I think of you. You have no idea how important you are to me. I'm not looking out for myself if that's what you think. According to everything I've been told...I'm not suppose to be capable of having these feelings for you, but I do. It just proves my theory that some kind of fucked up shit is going on with my people. I've angered a lot of people, especially Old Quil and my father, since my relationship with Nadia and my pursuit of certain truths, but I'm going to figure it out. I swear, I can fix this."

"Jake, I don't have a clue what you mean...who could possibly force you to be with Nadia? You're a grown man, your Dad is the chief or is that why? I don't get it."

"No, I don't expect you to, but you will someday. Bella, please again...don't take this the wrong way, but are you sure you should even be attempting a relationship with Seth?"

She felt all the blood drain out of her face. Was she in shock? Was she extremely pissed or should she start laughing? He had to be out of his mind. "Attempting? I'm not faking it, I really care about him. Of course, I know something else is going on. I'm confused. You make me confused, but no way I'm I breaking up with Seth because of you. He's the only normal, healthy relationship I've ever had. You're talking in circles as far as I'm concerned. I don't understand you. I doubt you even have real feelings for me, Dr. Thompson said not to confuse familiarity with emotions." He looked at Bella with dark stare. Her heart sped up, he was making her feel fearful.

He ended up getting out of the truck and slamming the door so hard that she was thankful for it's sturdiness. He could have destroyed a lesser car. He disappeared around the corner. Now she finally saw what she had been warned against. He had a short fuse when he didn't get his way. This was her chance, Dr. Thompson said it would be empowering if she would leave him. That would send the message; they were through, friendship or anything else. She started the truck and pressed on the clutch. It made a terrible grinding noise as she attempted to get it in gear. She wasn't doing it right, even though she knew the exact quirks of the truck. She normally could have driven it in her sleep. She started over and started to back up, but after only a few feet backwards, she was putting it back in 1st and letting it pull forward again. She shut the truck off and went to see where Jake had gone.

She didn't see him at first, but finally she found him down by a stream at the edge of the park. He was leaning against the railing of a small bridge that crossed the water. She could see tremors running through his body, he was visibly shaking. Whatever sense she had before, when she stood up to him had left her as soon as she got out of the truck. Jacob was hurting. Something bad had happened to him, it wasn't just about her. There was no way she could abandon him. She reached out touched his back to let him know she had stayed.

"Don't touch me right now, Bella," he growled at her.

"Jake, let me help. I'm sorry we're fighting. Please..."

She hadn't listened to his warning. She stepped in closer and rubbed his back some more. She knew he was calming down, he wasn't shaking any longer. She put both her arms around him from the back. A few seconds ticked by and he turned around to hug her back. They stood there in their own world for awhile. Bella didn't know if anyone else was at the park, but she didn't care.

Jacob spoke, "I'm so sorry, Bells."

"Me too," she wasn't sure if she should be apologizing, but she did anyway.

He took his right hand and stroked her hair, he even leaned down and kissed the top of her head, "Damn, you're short," he said to lighten the mood.

"You're a giant, I'm normal," she shot back.

"Nope," he announced, "you are nothing normal, Bella Swan. Come on, I'll take you home."

She and Jacob walked back to the truck with their hands intertwined. He opened the driver's side door and she climbed in stopping in the middle of the bench. She saw the smirk on his face when he realized she was going to sit beside him.

He got them on the road towards Forks and she leaned into his side. He put his arm around her the rest of the way. Bella liked being so close to him, once they started touching, she craved more. She rested her forearm on his thigh and before too long she rubbed the denim covered area. He was so warm, so strong...her hand was compelled to pour out her affection for him there. She didn't care what they had been fighting about, she only wanted to reassure him. She wasn't bailing on their friendship no matter how complicated it had gotten. Bella continued to rub his thigh as his fingers gently stroked the top of her shoulder. Her hand soon began to followed a path towards the inside of his leg, Jacob startled her, "Alright Bells, I think that's enough..."

She jerked back her hand embarrassed that he wanted her to stop touching him. He looked at her and then back to the road, "It's okay, honey." He removed his arm from her shoulder and took the hand that had caused the disturbance. "I only meant if you didn't quit, I was going to stop this truck and I'm pretty sure you weren't ready for what would have happened if I did."

She felt a swarm of butterflies take flight from within at his admission and she knew she was blushing like a fool. She still found the courage to squeeze his hand.

"We are a fucked up mess, Bells...but I don't care."

She didn't reply but in her mind she thought, "Neither do I."

They stayed that way until Bella saw they were entering Forks. She released Jake's hand and slid to opposite side of the truck. He gave her a knowing glance. She missed him already, but as soon as she saw Charlie's; she was brought back to reality. Seth was there. "I'm so sorry Seth," she whispered.

Jacob's demeanor quickly shifted. "Bella, I have to talk to him."

"About what?" Surely, it wasn't about them.

"It's tribal business," he assured her.

"I'll keep him outside and give you a chance to maybe run in and change your shirt."

"Why, what's wrong with my shirt?"

"Bells, please, just trust me...your evening will go smoother if you go change the damn shirt."

"Fine...you sure know how to kill a moment Jake. Just when I'm about to...forget it," she said as she got out the truck. Seth was still sitting in his truck. He got out when she did and he started towards Bella, but Jacob came in between them.

"What the hell is going on?" Seth asked as he looked at the two of them. "You went to Port Angeles with her?"

"Bella, I'm glad you're doing better, but if you don't mind I need to talk to Seth real quick."

Bella forced a smile, so that Seth would believe everything was a'ok and started into the house. She shut the door in slow motion, but she was able to hear Seth's angry voice, "You told her...I told you I wanted to."

"No, it wasn't the right time, but you aren't doing it and that's an order," Jacob's said with authority.

She hurried away from the door after that and ran up stairs to change her shirt. Due to some unknown compulsion, she shoved it to the bottom of the hamper and covered with two days worth of dirty clothes from both her and Charlie. What did Seth mean "told her" and why does he accept orders from Jacob? She was more confused than ever, but one thing felt certain. That was the moment when she would begin to lead a double life, no matter how unintentional; it was still a fact.

_**The bonfire is next...will Bella do okay since she believes she has "exercised her demons" ? ** My spoiler****_** Hell no, it's going to be a mess!**_** Catch you later today, I promise.**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Here it is, just as I promised...**_

Chapter 8 (Part 2)

Seth was in a terrible mood after Jacob left. He didn't act upset with Bella, but he only stayed a few minutes. He said he'd pick her up at 7 for the bonfire the next day. Jacob was right that he would distract him. He didn't even mention that the two of them had driven to Port Angeles. She should probably be feeling guilty for touching up Jacob's leg the whole way home, but it just felt so natural between them. It wasn't like she was planning to do more. She had every intention of staying true to Seth. Her heart was already perpetrating an act of betrayal, but she still believed she would overcome that. Jake needed her at the moment and she had never felt needed before. It clouded her judgment, but soon, it would all settle down and they would all know their place.

Those were all the things she told herself as she tried to fall asleep that night. She finally gave up and agreed with Jake's assessment, "We're a fucked up mess!" That was a much more accurate conclusion compared to all her justifications. She had no idea what to expect from this bonfire. At least, her Dad said he was also attending. She would have Seth, Charlie and Sue there as her support system. It should be easy enough to avoid Jacob and Nadia since it was outdoors and Seth said they expected a large turn out.

Bella had about ten different outfits thrown around her room. She was use to not spending too much time worrying about her wardrobe, but she heard the weather was expected to turn cold later that evening. It was kind of mild when she got out of school. She decided to go with a few layers: a t shirt with a long-sleeved flannel that she could button and her jacket. She put on black jeans with her leather ankle boots. She had thrown together some food the night before since Seth didn't stay. She made baked beans and a few dozen cupcakes. Seth told her she didn't have to, that there would be plenty of food. She wasn't so sure if there could ever be plenty after being around Seth and some of his friends, so she thought it was a good idea for her to bring something.

He stepped on her porch at exactly 6:55 and she was happy to see him smiling again. "You ready?"

"Yep, just help get the food, would ya?"

"Sure," he grabbed her from behind on her way to the kitchen, "But first," He gave her a big sloppy kiss, "Sorry about yesterday. You didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of my mood."

She kissed him back once more, "It's perfectly fine, I'm ready to have a great night. Charlie's meeting us there after work. I'm all set, let me grab a blanket and then we can go."

"Bella, I have a blanket already for you in the truck, I know about the weather, but we should be indoors before the front comes in."

"Oh, well, I'll bring mine just in case. You know, we all don't have a built in heater like you do."

They parked alongside several other cars. Seth said they had to walk the rest of the way. Bella could smell the smoke in the air and she heard the faint drumbeat of a song in the distance. She carried the cupcakes while he carried the beans along with her blanket draped over his arm. He told her he'd go back for the other one if she really needed it. The cool front was moving in a little sooner than predicted. Bella was happy to be greeted by a friendly face right off the bat.

"Hey Bella, what'd you bring to eat?" Embry asked.

"It's dessert, but I'll make sure you get one. I made a double batch."

Embry gave her a friendly hug and Bella took a quick survey of the surroundings. She breathed a sigh of relief at seeing her Dad sitting next to Billy and Sue. Seth pointed out Quil's grandfather as well. Bella was a little curious about him. Apparently, he was very set in his ways and with traditions, but he still looked kind to her. He appeared to be the oldest attendee of the evening. There were three distinct groups forming. The older crowd where Charlie was, the rowdy bunch where Seth was leading them and the couples. Even though she and Seth were a couple, they weren't about to go over to where Jacob was. He had his back turned to her. Perfect, dark colored manicured fingernails were running up the back of his head. She was at least spared seeing their faces. She was overcome with an urge to get a pair of pliers and pull each one of those expensive glitter coated fake nails off. She might be able to get to one of them off before someone grabbed ahold of her to disarm her.

"Bella, hey did you hear Kim?" Seth shook her out of her twisted fantasy.

"Oh, hi Kim, how are you?" Bella responded.

"Fine, it's nice to see you again, Bella. We didn't get to talk much last time. Jared told me you're a teacher. You must be really smart." Bella heard the first of many snickers from across their small circle.

"Well, this year, I'm only an aide, but it's still a nice job."

"Do you like kids a lot?" Kim asked.

"Yeah, the little ones are lots of fun."

"Jared and I are going to have a bunch some day," she smiled putting her crooked teeth on display.

"Really, that's nice."

"Yeah, well, I was an only child, my parents didn't want kids at all. I was an accident, so they always told me," Kim admitted.

Bella instantly felt sympathy for her, she knew what it was like to be an only child. However, her parents had never constantly reminded her she wasn't wanted or was an accident. That was pretty sad. Poor Kim.

She put on her most sincere smile, to engage her in a little more conversation. Of course she seemed annoying, but Bella wanted to give her a chance. "Kim, do you work too?"

"I work for Jared's Dad. I try and keep his office in order, but he gets mad at me a lot when I screw up." She turned back to see if Jared was watching, and he was. She lowered her voice. "What I really like is sewing and making things. It's like the only thing that makes sense to me. I can follow a pattern and make just about anything, but it's not a very profitable talent."

Bella had an idea. "Maybe you could help me with decorating Seth's house."

Kim's face lit up, "I would love that, are you serious?"

Bella felt Seth nudge her side. She gave him a dirty look. Paul started to laugh again, and she covertly pointed her finger to shut him up. She wasn't going to let them continue to make fun of Kim in her presence any longer. It wasn't right.

"Yes, I'll get your number from Seth and we'll get together soon."

"Oh, okay...well, I should get back to Jared. Thank you, Bella." Kim headed back to the other couples.

"You all need to quit. She's the only person to come over and talk to me tonight. She needs someone to show her respect. Grow up and support your friend." The guys didn't argue with her, and she glanced back at Jared. He had a sweet smile on his lips and he nodded at her. Bella didn't think she made her announcement very loud, but Jared was probably happy that she took the time to talk to Kim.

The next topic of conversation was food. As soon as Sue, stated it was time to eat, the line formed quickly. Bella started to make a small plate when a woman stopped across the table from her. "So you're Bella?"

She looked up to see where the voice was coming from. Bella quickly made the assumption it was Emily Uley, because she recognized her profile from sitting close to Sam earlier. She was very beautiful, but had three prominent scars on one side of her face. Seth had failed to mention that detail and it caught her off guard. She really wasn't trying to stare, she was merely surprised. "Oh, yes, I'm Bella...you must be Emily." Bella sat her plate down in order to shake Emily's hand, but instead she was met with an insult.

"Why don't you take a picture, it'll last longer. You know, your face isn't that great either."

Bella tried to backtrack, "Um...no, I didn't-I'm sorry."

"Save it, it's not like you matter anyway," and Emily did a 180 and walked away from her.

Bella had zero appetite, but she carried her plate back to the group. All the guys were staring again. She slapped at Seth's shoulder, "Thanks for warning me. That was embarrassing."

"Sorry, but who cares..." He whispered in her ear, "She's a bitch, the scars have nothing to do with it."

Bella sat there and picked at her plate. Most of the guys went back for thirds. Bella heard the loud, shrill voice of a young child and she turned towards the sound, "No Quil, Aunt Emily put mustard on it...make me another hot dog," she whined.

Bella watched as the cute little girl popped the tab on a soda.

The guy, Quil, who she had yet to meet, reprimanded her, "Claire, your Mom said no sodas after 8."

She was a bossy little thing. "Really, what is it 8:15?" She looked around dramatically and stated, "And she's not here, is she? You know you won't tell on me." She announced before taking a long sip from the can.

Bella pinched Seth's leg and gave him a questioning glance.

"Later," was all he said.

Bella knew after working with children, they could get in moods, especially if they were tired. Something told her that little girl, Claire was beyond a mood and she was extremely spoiled. She wasn't sure why she made so many demands on Quil, but maybe he was related in some way. She'd find out from Seth later.

Quil made his way over to their little group and introduced himself. "Hi, Bella, it's nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you from Seth."

She blushed and Seth squeezed her in a little closer.

The little girl was behind him, "This is Claire by the way."

"Hi Claire, its nice to meet you," Bella used her school voice trying to make a connection to the child.

"You're really white," she announced.

Quil corrected her, "Claire, don't be rude."

"How's that rude. She is. Guess what, Bella?"

"What?" she was trying to ignore the white remark.

"My aunties are taking me shopping tomorrow and I'm going to get my nails done just like Aunt Nadia's."

"Oh that's nice, I hope you have fun."

"Do you like to shop?" Claire asked.

"Not too much, its not really my thing," she was truthful.

"Is that's why you dress like a boy?" Bella choked on her own saliva. What the hell was wrong with this little girl. Why did she find the need to chop on her as soon as they met. Then she made it way worse when she yelled as loud as she could, "Hey Aunt Nadia, Seth's new girlfriend dresses like a boy, doesn't she?"  
That's when it happened, both Nadia and Jacob turned toward her. Bella felt her glare burn through her. Perhaps, she did know about her and Jacob's friendship. She motioned for Claire to come to her. She whispered something in the little girl's ear, and then Emily joined in on their laughter. Jacob sat there taking deep breaths. She could see the rise and fall of his large chest, but he kept quiet and didn't seem to have a response. Bella thought the only good to come out of the situation was Kim never laughed at her. She wouldn't forget that, it meant a lot. Paul, Brady and Collin had even laughed until Seth shut them up.

He made them apologize and told her not to worry about it. "Hey ignore them, we're still going to have a good night."

Her mood had plummeted. She hadn't felt good about being there since first walking up and seeing Nadia wrapped around Jake. The insults from Emily and Claire had completely ruined any happiness she had about spending time with Seth. She really wished she could go home.

"Seth, maybe I should ask Charlie to take me home. I'm cold and I don't feel so well."

"No, Bella...come on. Here if your cold, get closer." He picked her up and pulled her directly into his lap and tucked the blanket tighter around them. "Besides, Charlie is staying at my house tonight. He and I had a long talk today."

"About what?"

"Man stuff, don't worry about it, but I was kinda hoping you wouldn't mind if stayed over with you. You know, so you don't have to be alone or anything."

"So my Dad is good with you spending the night with me?"

"Charlie trusts me and in case you didn't notice we're adults, baby," he crooned in her ear.

Bella looked across to where Jacob was to see that he'd moved. He had a clear view of her now. She wasn't normally petty, but she wanted to pay him back somehow for what she had already endured. She snuggled in closer to Seth and kissed him on the neck. He responded by kissing her mouth. She was normally way too modest for PDA, but she would make an exception for now.

Seth stopped kissing her a second, "No expectations, okay. I really just want us to have more alone time. Is that alright?"

"Of course, Seth, I want you to stay the night," she went straight back to kissing him again.

He was suddenly eager to leave and start that alone time, "I think we should call it a night...agree?" She glanced at Jake yet again. He had that scary look she remembered from the previous day. He took another sip from his bottle of beer. She had noticed he had one after the other the entire night. She was shocked at how much he was drinking. They had never discussed drinking before other than her mentioning once, she never drank.

She shook her head. "I want to grab a bottle of water first." She stopped by to tell her Dad and Sue good night. They were packing up to leave, they were going to take Billy home. She walked back to the cooler to dig out a water. When she stood up, she was there directly in her face.

Bella tentatively spoke up, "Hi, I'm Bella."

Jake also approached and stood next to Nadia. He put a protective arm around her. Bella wondered who exactly he was protecting.

"Yeah, I know who you are, Bell-la," she drug out her name.

Bella swallowed nervously, but she was determined to act like she was unfazed, "Hey, Jake," she held up her hand in a slight wave.

"Hi Bella," was his only response.

Nadia's piercing hazel eyes squinted down and she pursed her lips. Bella had just pissed her off without even trying. "Didn't I see you with Paul before?"

Bella only got out,"Um..."

"So which is it? Paul or Seth?" Her voice was like jagged glass, sharp and stinging, "Nevermind, I'm sure it's both. A girl like you takes what she can get, right?" Then she turned back towards Emily who was laughing. Then Claire started laughing. Jake just stood there like a statue with his arm still around her. Bella thought his face was expressionless except for a twitch she saw in his left eye. She had no idea what to say. Her throat felt extremely dry all of the sudden.

Seth came out of nowhere. She didn't know if he'd heard, but he had, "Shut the fuck up, Nadia," He looked at Jake, "Keep a tighter leash on your, bitch Jake,"

"Watch it, Seth." He put his hand on his shoulder and Seth slapped it off.

"Bella didn't do anything to you, that was uncalled for."

"We'll see about that, won't we?" She gave a final glare at Bella before pulling Jacob's arm, "Let's go baby. I'm bored." She actually turned back around to give Bella one more threatening glance.

"Bella come here," Seth pulled her back toward the spot they had sat in. He threw her blanket back over her.

"Can we please go?" was all she said.

"In a minute, I have to talk to Sam about something."

Leah came over next. Great, that was all Bella needed to top off the night

"Hey, Swan...Are you really that much of a mouse? Damn, girl...you didn't say anything to defend yourself the whole night. You even let an 8 year old walk all over you. What the hell?" Leah wasn't shy or reserved in the least.

"Leah, I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, I'm going to do you a favor since Seth really likes you. You and I are going out for shots this week. I'll call you and let you know when, but you are in desperate need of self-defense lessons. It can't be soon enough."

Seth interrupted, "Leah."

"Your welcome, baby brother," she told him.

"No, I wasn't going to thank you. Bella doesn't drink, you need to stay out of it."

"Bella, speak up for yourself. Are you going to let Seth speak for you or are you going to go with me?"

"Um...sure Leah, I'll go, but Seth's right, I don't drink."

"We'll see about that," and she turned around and walked off.

Seth rubbed her back and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I swear, I'll only be a few minutes with Sam and then we can go."

Bella sat there alone for a few minutes. Finally, for the first time of the night, no one seemed to be paying attention to her, so she made the split decision to walk off on her own. She wrapped up in her blanket and headed back towards the truck. Right before she was about to climb in the bed of the truck, a hand grabbed hold of her wrist.

"I told you not to come here for a reason."

"Let go of me Jacob," she turned around to look at him. "Your girlfriend actually unhinged herself from you for once, tonight. Where is she?"

"She's inside with Emily planning their shopping trip tomorrow. I needed to see if you were alright."

"No, I'm not. I've been insulted, humiliated and in case you missed it, threatened in front of everyone. You didn't say one thing in my defense, but now that we are alone in the dark, you are kind enough to check on me. I don't need your false sympathy. My boyfriend will be back in a minute and he's going to comfort me," she couldn't help to add, "the entire night, so I don't need you."

"Bella, don't do anything you aren't ready for just because you're angry with me."

"Why do you make everything about you? Are you truly that narcissistic, Jake?"

"Bells...please?"

"So now it's Bells. Bet Nadia doesn't know that's your nickname for me, does she?

"Look...you called me Jake. That's what set her off, she's obviously done her homework. She always does, and she's suspicious we know each other pretty well."

"All the guys call you Jake," she stated the obvious, not seeing what the big deal was.

"Exactly, the guys...not women."

"Forget it Jacob, I don't care anymore. Go back to your hopeless relationship. You two seem perfect for one another. Stay the fuck away from me." She rarely used that language, but he certainly deserved it.

"Your one to talk, Bella. Don't think, I don't know you were trying to make me jealous out there when you climbed in Seth's lap. You're using him to get back at me. You proved it when you admitted he was spending the night with you. Just be careful, when you let him fuck you, that you don't yell out the wrong name. We both know the name you call out at night and it sure isn't, 'Seth' is it?"

She felt a wave a nausea sweep over her. How did he know that or was he just guessing. She knew her response proved what he said was true. He didn't try to hide that self assured cocky smirk he'd perfected. He stripped her with his smoldering gaze. She was infuriated with him, but she did scream out his name in her sleep. She was so consumed with jealousy for him tonight, it was almost certain; she could not be with Seth anytime soon. She had used him previously. When they were alone, it was so easy to feel confident in her feelings for him; but when Jacob was near, her sincerity was lost in the atmosphere. She should hate him for what he was doing to her, but she didn't.

Jacob's voice had softened, he reached out to touch her again. "I'm sorry about tonight. You didn't deserve any of it. I know you're better than any of them put together. Bells, you know that's true, right?"

She didn't answer.

"Bella, don't spend the night with Seth," he pleaded.

"Jacob, that's hardly your business."

"Maybe not, but please don't." He looked around, "Seth's looking for you, I have to go. I'll be by tomorrow." and then he disappeared into the night, as quick as he'd shown up.

It was dark, but Bella heard a disturbance, she climbed out of Seth's truck bed and started heading back, but Seth met her on the path. His lip was bleeding.

"Seth, oh my god, what happened?" She knew who did it, but she asked despite the obvious.

"Jake paid me back for disrespecting Nadia," he seemed certain, but Bella thought there were other reasons behind the punch. "But at least I got one in for what he allowed her to say to you." He held up a very swollen hand with bloodied knuckles.

"Seth, I think it's broken," she was shocked at how much damage a single punch had done to his hand.

"Nah, I just need a little ice, it'll be fine. Don't worry, it's not the first time, I've fought with Jake. You should've waited on me. The truck was open, why did you sit out in the weather. Come here, you're freezing."

Seth helped her in the cab and held her close. He warmed the truck up for awhile before they started driving.

"Seth, I think you should drop me off. I'm not really in the mood for company."

"Seriously, Bella. You're going to let that bitch spoil the rest of our evening? I told you. I tried to warn you that any friendship with Jacob would only end up hurting you. Did you honestly expect him to stand up for you?"

"I...I don't know what I thought. Why are you so angry with me?"

"Because you were too stubborn. I tried to spare you, but you thought you knew him. I know the real Jake, not the one you knew five years ago. I've watched Nadia this past year break apart all of us. We were a tight group, more like brothers than friends, but he let her come between all of us. Once she even insulted my mother and he didn't blink an eye. My Mom was like a second mom to him after he lost Sarah. She disrespected her in our home and when Leah jumped her ass, Jacob stepped in and Leah ended up on the floor.

"Jake hit Leah?""

"No, he wouldn't go that far, but he stepped in front of her and running into him is like hitting a brick wall, Leah fell. I'm just trying to prove my point, Jacob has earned his reputation. We aren't the ones at fault. Are you ready to listen or are you desperate for more punishment?"

"What's that suppose to mean?" she asked him.

"Nothing," was all he said before clamming up.

"No, I want to know."

He didn't answer her yet, instead he concentrated on getting back to Charlie's.

"Bella, you spent a lot of years dwelling on a bad relationship, maybe that's what you're accustom too. I'm not sure if you're ready to let yourself have something that's good for you."

"Are you saying, I want to be treated badly?"

"Maybe not on purpose, but..." his voice trailed off.

They pulled in the driveway, she didn't want him to come inside. "Just leave, Seth."

"No, let me come in. I don't want to leave while we're both mad."

"I need some space, I'm tired and I'm hungry. I want to be alone."

"Hungry? Why didn't you eat, there was tons of food?"

"In case you didn't notice, that wasn't the most peaceful environment. I don't eat when I'm upset." She started to scoot over to exit the passenger door. He ran around and attempted to hug her. She stiffened for old times sake, further proving his suspicions, she wasn't accepting of things that were good for her.

"Don't come back, Seth until I call you."

He pulled out his phone and looked at it second before shoving it back into his pocket, "No problem I've got something I have to do right now anyway."

"It's almost midnight, is it the station?"

"No, it doesn't concern you. Maybe you should ask your good buddy about it if you really want to know? Bye Bella. Hurry up and get inside, it's getting colder by the second and lock up."

She went inside, the house was still and quiet except for the sound of the wind that was stirring outside. Bella stripped off her smoky clothes and climbed into the hottest shower her skin could stand. She wished she would have heeded Jake's warning and had never gone. Seth could have come over and they could have had a calm evening at home. It would have been so much better. Now she was fighting with both Seth and Jacob, because of attending that stupid event. She stayed in the shower and let the water burn her until it started to become cooler. She shut it off and wrapped up in a towel. Charlie was gone, so she hadn't bothered carrying clothes to the bathroom with her. She pulled on a soft cotton nightshirt that came to her thighs and a pair of blue cotton panties. She turned up the furnace to combat the dropping temperature outside and slid in between the covers.

Her anger and frustration were replaced with other emotions. They were familiar to her. Was Seth right in his assessment? She was overcome with shame, fear and doubt. She was all alone, not just physically because Charlie was gone. It was more than that. She felt like she was all alone in the universe. She thought Jacob understood her and that Seth did as well, but she was wrong. The chills ran up and down her spine first. Then the tingling started. He arm twinged, it was happening. She needed to stop it, she had succeeded for almost two years. She was strong enough to fight back, but for some reason tonight, she didn't want to fight anymore. She felt like she had already exited her body and she was merely an observer. She watched her feet swing off the bed, leaving the covers thrown to the side. She heard the creak of each step as she walked down the stairs. She headed towards the back door as that was the gateway to her destination. One thing sidetracked her in the kitchen, she plucked the biggest one out of the block and headed out the door. The cold sting of the wind no longer chilled her. She wasn't feeling any longer. Her body registered that the damp, cold ground actually burned her feet but her mind didn't care, as she continued towards the spot she needed to locate. He left her there a long time before, but the memory was summoning her back. She might have felt the first cut, but the rest didn't even bother her as she continued deeper into the woods. The butcher knife in her hand swung loosely between her fingers and she didn't mind how many times, it caught on the side of her leg. The lacerations kept her focused on what she needed to do. She was going to do it right this time, no one would even know she was missing before it was too late and it was definitely too late, for Bella.

**_Thanks so much for reading._**

**_So, Nadia, huh? Jake's POV is next!_**


	10. Chapter 10

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephanie Meyer**_

_**Love him or hate him, this is Jake's side of the story**_

Chapter 9

He let the hot water pour over his back as his head hung down. He might consider staying in there all night if it could wash away what he'd just done. Better yet, wash away the entire last year of his life away. He was so self-assured before, such a cocky bastard. All of them were, especially the single ones. The speed, the power, the abilities and the physicalities had gone straight to their heads. They were successful in all their endeavors. The ladies swooned wherever they roamed and they all took advantage, especially after a kill. Of course, the only thing they did kill were vampires. The pack was strong with 10 members. No new ones had phased in years. They didn't need anyone else. Any single leech that got in the vicinity was taken down without mercy. The only one that had been a real challenge was a red-headed bitch that was faster than the rest. She was quite tenacious, but they eventually set a trap even she couldn't escape.

Jacob couldn't help himself, he always pictured it was Cullen when he took them apart. He couldn't believe the truth when he phased and realized what he'd exposed Bella to, forcing her to leave. The treaty was null, since he had passed that information on to the doctor. That vamp had the nerve to call and check on Bella once. They all knew better than to come back to the area.

The water had long since turned cold, so he shut it off. He had no intention on returning to their bedroom for the night.

His mind flashed back to when they came in from the bonfire. He was so fucking mad, mostly at himself, but also at Nadia. She was a ruthless bitch and he hated being tied to her. He was also mad at Seth. He hated having to see him touch all over Bells. He didn't know how he considered her to be his, but he did from the beginning. It felt good to pop him in the mouth before he left with Bella. He wasn't even trying or Seth wouldn't have been able to walk back to her, but he couldn't let her know what he was capable of. He didn't think she going through with spending the night with him, but he sent Seth on a special patrol, which was pretty much bullshit that he concocted to get him far away from Bella for the night. She was vulnerable and she didn't need Seth taking advantage just because he was frustrated.

Nadia had started up before they even walked in the door. "You think I didn't know, Jake? How stupid do you think I am? I put two and two together. You've been pulling the disappearing act since she got back into town. We use to always be together unless you were at work. Sometimes I was even there too. How long has it been since you asked me to the garage? Don't blame it on those dicks you work with either. I know they can't refuse you, just like you can't refuse me." He hadn't said a word back to her, he only stared blankly across the room waiting for it to end.

"That's what I want right now. I want you Jake, because you're mine and you're going to tell me the whole time."

She started to undress right in the middle of the living room. Her body was damn near perfect and she would be desired by any red-blooded male. He'd long since stop caring about her physical appearance. She spent enough of her time and his money on it, that it was a source of contention. Their whole relationship was a sham in his mind. His feelings for her were all forced, they were completely unnatural and against his will. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't say "no" to her. He followed her into their room. He also followed suit and had stripped off his own clothes, preferring she not do it. In fact, he was so disgusted by her this evening, he wanted to touch her as little as possible. She fell back to the bed on her back spread eagle without hesitation, "Fuck me, Jake and tell me it's me you want and not that hokwat, Bella Swan. I want you to say it."

He never refused her, but he also couldn't disrespect Bella in the manner she was requesting. She would never know if he said those words, but he'd know. Somehow, he found his balls, and fought the pull. His wolf literally clawed him from within.

"Turn over," he stated with zero emotion.

"Okay, baby, but I still need to hear you say it."

"Shut the fuck up, that's all I'm saying," and she cried out painfully as he slammed into her. It was quick and hard and didn't last very long. He pushed away and went straight to the bathroom. She was speechless, it was the first time he had disrespected her outright. He pretty much treated her like a whore. She was use to that, she'd been one in the past, but not from him.

He'd hidden out in the bathroom for nearly an hour. He decided to go for a ride on his bike. He didn't want to chance any of the other wolves reading his thoughts. He was excellent as alpha locking them down, but tonight he was too emotional, he might slip up.

She stepped out wrapped in a sheet. "That's it? You bastard, where do you think you're going? What can she give you? I know you aren't capable of sleeping with her, because of our bond. There's no point in you spending time with her? If you walk out on me tonight, they'll be hell to pay. I'm going to the counsel!"

"Like I give a fuck," he said as he slammed the door in her face.

Jacob had once thought the same thing, that he couldn't be with Bella, but that was another lie he'd been fed. His body had responded to her several times. He'd have no trouble convincing her how he felt when he knew she was ready. He'd pushed too much earlier in the week, but he'd been outside her window several times. He couldn't help but know what some of her dreams were about and he saw the conformation on her face when her teacher friend asked her at the diner.

Jacob started up his motorcycle and sped off. It had turned cold and windy, which normally didn't bother him. He did think to put on his leather jacket, because he wasn't fond of getting wet. There was a blowing mist in the air. He wanted to get away from the reservation, so he headed out of town. He figured he'd drive a little while and then go check on Bella. He'd stay outside, he knew she wouldn't want to see him. Seth was still occupied and he knew she would be alone all night.

Seth and Embry had been his closest confidants through the years, but he fought with Seth a lot lately. It started even before Bella came back. The single guys use to go out to clubs once a month or any night after they took down a leech. It wasn't too often, a vamp came their way. Maybe they had heard what went on there. Jacob didn't know if he should worry, but Sam had thought he found a scent earlier in the day. Jacob had checked it out himself, he thought it was old and it was way off the reservation, but when they were bored, they extended their patrols to further regions. That's the excuse Jake had given Seth for the night. Collin and Paul were on the regular route, but he insisted he and Sam take a closer look at the area that extended past the Makah reservation.

Jacob had even distanced himself from Embry. He resented the fact that he was more of a son to Billy than he was now. Embry took good care of him and the little red house that had been his childhood home. Part of his rift with Billy was purely his fault for siding with the elders. Jacob had been the only one to raise hell about imprinting. He didn't believe for a second it was beneficial or a blessing. He wanted to dig deeper in the archives, but those old codgers on the counsel held to them like they were the holy grail. There had to be a way to break the imprint. He was sure of it, there were no absolutes in life, in his opinion.

Sam had been the first to fall when he was alpha. The aftermath wasn't pretty. Emily turned out to be a royal bitch, and Sam accidentally phased too close to her. He ran around with the guilt trip of all time and was an extreme pain in the ass to follow. Leah went from an extremely cool chick to a someone that was bitter and full of resentment. She was hard to tolerate on a good day. Jacob had to listen to both of him in his head all the time. He wasn't thrilled about taking over right before he turned 18, but it ended up being much better. He evened out the pack, focused on their strengths, played down individual weaknesses. He was made to lead. His fucking Dad insisted the reason Sam was a poor alpha was because of the imprint. It was assumed Jake never would imprint. Jared was next, and Kim was pretty unfortunate looking, but she wasn't as bad as Emily. He thought about how Bella had treated her at the bonfire and he smiled thinking about it. He had rarely seen anyone act nice towards Kim, it really proved how good her heart was. It's one of the things that attracted him to her.

The next one to imprint was Quil with Claire, when she was barely three years old. That is when Jacob first started raising hell at the counsel meetings. Old Quil recited one of the legends that the imprint was the purest of gifts for the wolf, and that he would never see another. He would forever be devoted to her and only love the imprint. He would die without her, blah blah blah and a bunch of other shit Jacob didn't believe. He wanted to know if their ancestors intended to destroy the future pack by saddling them with horrendous mates, if any of them really had any influence. It was a bunch of nonsense, but he had to believe some of it, because he had once thought the legend of descending from wolves wasn't true and that came back to bite him in the ass. How was symbolically making Quil a eunuch a beautiful thing? The imprint to a kid literally tied a band to his nuts. He wasn't a pervert despite what outsiders might think seeing him with a kid all the time, but he couldn't go out and get involved with women his own age. It was a terrible burden. Jake worried about him. He was nothing like his former self. He use to be the prankster, the cut up of the group. Now, he was as serious as fuck the majority of the time. Jacob could tell he was completely defeated, because he was right there with him.

It had been over three years, since Quil, when it happened to him. At a fucking bar, no less, he met her in a bar. All of them had been so stupid to hang out in places like that, they couldn't even get drunk. They only went for the girls, and Jacob even had enough conscious to not always hook up with someone. Every once in awhile, he felt disturbed by the whole process about picking up strangers. He secretly wanted a real relationship, but the only example that he had before him were Sam and Jared. He didn't want anything like they had. Seth and Embry gave up that lifestyle after he had imprinted on Nadia, knowing none of them were safe anywhere. They had spent quite a bit of time making fun of the imprinted wolves. They even nicknamed them. They were ICEd, imprint club exclusives. They messed around with the last initial. Paul came up with some good ones: endgame, executed, eternity, endless. It made for a good laugh, at times.

The day Seth questioned him for asking Bella to the garage, he brought that very thing up. Jacob wanted to punch him that afternoon, but he wouldn't do that in front of Bella.

"Why do you think you can hang out with Bella, man?"

"She's a friend."

"You're iced, you can't be friends with her, leave her alone."

"Don't fucking call me that unless you want to pick your teeth out of Charlie's grass."

"You're the one that made that up, Jake. You were the one that hated imprinting the most. Now, look at you, you're the worst one of them all. No one can stand you. Do Bella a favor, leave her alone!"

Jacob knew everything he told him that afternoon was true, but he wasn't about to listen to him. He didn't take orders from anyone, except Nadia, unfortunately. He was determined to prove them wrong. Maybe if he succeeded in being friends with Bella, he might be able to mend some of the fences with his pack. He was ready to find some balance in his life. He felt a sliver of hope when she came back. She did something to him. Like he had told her, she reminded him of who he use to be.

Just thinking about that again, made him need to be near her. He turned around to go to Charlie's. He pulled up to the side garage and pushed his motorcycle inside. Then he went to the side of the house where her window was. The house was completely dark, he was relieved thinking she was sleeping soundly in her bed. The wind had calmed down a little, so he listened to see if he could hear her. For some reason, he was overcome with a feeling, something wasn't right. She wasn't in her room, he was sure of it. He decided to go in. He went to retrieve the extra key, but it was gone. "Dammit, Bells!"

She had said she was going to get rid of that key and it was gone. He decided breaking in the back door was a better idea than knocking down Charlie's front door. He went around the back of the house, but he didn't need to go in. He caught her scent as soon as he stepped in the backyard. He quickly followed the trail in the woods, but soon he detected another smell. It was blood. Bella was bleeding, not that much at first, but the further he went, the more blood there was. It was practically freezing counting the wind chill, why would she be in the woods? There were no other scents mixed in with hers, so he knew she was out there on her own.

He was just about to phase to get to her quicker, but the wind shifted and he realized she was extremely close. He finally was able to hear her heartbeat, but it was so slow. He ran full speed towards the sound. She was laying on the ground, the blood was all over her leg. She wasn't moving and a large knife was still in her hand. He couldn't think about why or how, he had to get her indoors as fast as he could. He pried the knife away and tossed it in the leaves. He scooped her up and ran with her back to the house. She was so cold, her lips had a bluish tint to them and she had dark circles under eyes. He leg did have quite a bit of blood on it, but it wasn't gushing so that was a good sign she didn't have any deep cuts. He looked at her arm because he knew her story, but it was unharmed. Maybe the cold got to her before she had time to really hurt herself, or perhaps she changed her mind all together once she got out there. Her swore to her that he wouldn't interfere with her recovery, but this was a direct result of their friendship. He did this to her and he would never forgive himself.

He turned on the light downstairs to get a good look at her thigh. He decided to take her up to the bathroom with him to look for the first aide kit. If it was bad, he'd just get her in the truck and take her to the hospital. Charlie was going to flip and he didn't know how he'd explain it to anyone without revealing Bella's secret. She was coming around a little because every once in awhile she moaned or made noise.

He heated the water and used a warm, wet rag to clean up the cuts. There were several, but only one was a little deep. He held pressure to that one and then bandaged each one individually. He took a large bandage to cover them all a second time. He noticed her feet were scraped up as well, so he ran some warm water over them. She flinched when the warm water touched her chilled skin. The next priority was to get her warmed up again. He carried her to her room. He knew he was the most effective way to reheat her body. He had no choice but to get her out of that wet, bloody night gown. He held her in his lap and pulled it off. She didn't have a bra on, "Sorry, Bells, you'll have to forgive me for this later."

He situated her on the bed and quickly covered her up. He stood there by the bed for a second, debating if he should really do what he thought he should do. He knew it was what she needed, so he took off all his clothes except his boxers and climbed in next her. He pulled her flush against his heated body. They were chest to chest, and he took his large hands and began to rub up and down her back. She was responding and she pushed her face into his neck. He never imagined the first time in bed with Bella would be anything like this. It wasn't sexual, he was only rescuing her. When she woke up, he had no idea what the aftermath would be. All he knew was, he had to make it right somehow.

"Jake," she mumbled.

"I'm here, Bells," he told her.

"What's wrong with me, Jake?"

"You're just cold, but I'll get you warmed back up soon, honey."

She rubbed her hands in his hair. Her eyes were still closed tight. He didn't think she was fully conscious. Maybe she thought she was dreaming. The next thing out of her mouth confirmed his hunch, "Jake...I love you," she whispered as her fingers moved through his hair again.

He held her tighter and wrapped his legs around hers to continue bringing her core temperature back up.

She was delirious from the near hypothermia, but he wondered if what she said was true and was that what he was also experiencing? Did he really love her? He had to believe that is where all of this was heading. If that was the case, would either of them survive what the consequences of their love for one another would bring?

_**Thanks again for reading**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**I have been on quite the writing kick lately. Do you enjoy the frequent updates? I worry I might forget a detail, so I jot down stuff every morning when I can.** _

Chapter 10

She was disoriented, hot and restricted because she attempted to move and it didn't work. "I think I'm dead," was her first thought. Then she heard the familiar sound of her ceiling fan. It had a certain rattle that she'd memorized when she fell asleep each night. She was in her room and everything else must have been a dream. She wanted to lift herself up to see the clock or find her phone, it was still pitch dark outside, so it wasn't morning. She still couldn't move, but she finally found feeling in her fingers. She flattened out her hand to feel what was in front of her. She jerked it back, that was a nipple, certainly not hers.

"Stop squirming, Bells," a voice spoke out.

She panicked, how much had she missed out on? Did she have a blackout or something. "Jake, what are you doing in my bed?"

"Saving your life, we'll talk about it in the morning, so go back to sleep."

"Let go of me."

He instantly released her, but as she started to pull back she felt the air on her chest, she was topless. She started grabbing for the sheet to cover herself. "Where are my pajamas?"

"You got them wet and dirty when you went out to the woods. I needed you out of them so I could warm you back up."

"You took off my clothes?"

"Yep, so you can stop trying so hard to cover up, I already saw. I'm not that noble, Bells...I looked."

She couldn't believe what he said. He saw her boobs and she was totally out of it. She wondered what position she had been in. What if he saw them at a bad angle? Ugh, he probably thought she too flat chested compared to what Nadia had under her blouse.

"I'm not sure what happened tonight, Jake, but you can go now," she informed him.

"Like hell I am. I'm staying, you can't be left alone. You were in the woods freezing to death with a large knife."

She pulled her arm out of the covers and felt.

"It's fine, you didn't do anything to it before I found you, but you cut your leg up."

"My leg?" she questioned. She ran her hand down her thigh and felt a large bandage there. Once she moved it, the soreness hit her. Her feet also ached.

"There's a lot we need to talk about, but seriously it's only 3 in the morning, go back to sleep and we'll talk in the morning."

"I'm not sleeping naked with you, Jake," she said with a huff.

He jerked down the covers to reveal his body, "I'm not naked, see and neither are you. You still have on blue panties."

She pulled the covers back up, after seeing they did have certain parts covered, but she still wanted a shirt. "I need a shirt."

He leaned over the side of the bed and threw her his. "Here,"

"No, I want one of my own," she pushed the shirt back to him.

"Fine, climb out of bed and get one, I'll lie back and enjoy the show. My night vision is quite good."

She reluctantly grabbed his shirt and slipped it on without revealing herself again.

"If you're going to stay then no more touching; stay on your side and I'll stay on mine," she instructed.

"Whatever it takes to go back to sleep...fine."

He rolled to his back, and she turned over til she was at the edge of the bed.

"Is that is far as you can go?"

"If I go any further, I'm going to roll off the bed. What's your problem, I'm not touching you."

"I feel like I can still feel you,"

He laughed at her.

She flopped around a few more times moving from her side to her back and then to her stomach. She was trying to get comfortable, but it wasn't easy. She started rubbing her feet up and down the covers. It was a habit she had as a child when she couldn't sleep or if she was upset. She happened to be both. She knew what Jacob had told her was true, she had slipped or regressed. The details were fuzzy, but she knew there was a huge problem. Her feet continued to move.

"Bells, what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm rubbing the covers," she admitted.

"Well, stop."

"I can't," as soon as she said that, his large leg crossed over her calves halting her movements.

"Get your hot, big leg off of me, Jake, she complained. "Jake...Jake," but he wouldn't answer her back or move his leg. If she kept squirming, her leg ached, so she finally gave up.

She finally drifted back off to sleep and managed to stay asleep til morning. Even though she had told him "no more touching", she realized her back was pulled against his chest and his arm hung over her waist. She wouldn't admit it to him, but it felt pretty nice. She felt like she was protected in a warm cacoon. She reminded herself she was still mad at him.

"I know your awake," he said.

"How?"

"I just do, you ready to get up? I'll make you some breakfast."

He was still laying there holding her and making small talk like everything was normal between them.

"You get up first," she didn't want to prance around him in his t-shirt even though he'd already seen what was under there.

"In a minute," he told her.

"Why not now?"

"Because I'm kinda enjoying myself."

"Well, I'm not."

"Liar," and he pulled her even closer. That's when she felt it. Jacob was enjoying himself a little too much. She started to squirm and move, but he didn't release her.

"Ugh, Bells stop moving, you're making it worse."

"Well let go and go to the bathroom or something."

"Fine, I'm getting up. Close your eyes or don't." He let go and got off the bed. She held her eyes tightly shut, but ended up taking a peak. She saw every detail of his muscular backside as he walked out of her room. He only had on a pair of tight, black boxer briefs. She wanted to shut him out of her room, but it really hurt to move. She shuffled herself to the door and closed it. She had left an array of clothes out from the night before, so she grabbed some loose fitting yoga pants and a long sleeved tee. She didn't want to squeeze in jeans the way her leg felt. She saw Jacob's pants and jacket were still on her floor.

Did he plan on walking back in her room with only his underwear on or worse, maybe a towel? She got the shirt she'd worn half the night and his jeans. He had the shower running. She hobbled to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

"Come in."

"No, that's okay. I have your clothes, I'll just hang them on the door."

She went back to her room and shut the door. She took out her phone. Seth called and so did Charlie. She probably should call Dr. Thompson, but what if she wanted to admit her for observation? Bella did not want that at all. Both Charlie and Seth only said they were calling to check on her. Seth said a few more things like he was sorry and when could they talk. He said he'd been up all night and was going to get some sleep. She no longer heard the water, so she stuck her head out the door. He was downstairs clanging pots around. She took her turn in the bathroom. He'd made himself at home in there, but he'd cleaned up after himself. She noticed he'd even used one of the extra toothbrushes she kept in the drawer. He left it in the cup right next to hers. She wasn't about to leave it out in the open, so she took it back to her room and stuffed in one of her drawers. What the hell was she thinking? Jacob didn't need his own toothbrush at her house, but she still felt like saving it.

After moving around so much, her leg really hurt and she thought it might be bleeding a little. She was going to have to ask Jacob for help, so she called out to him.

He was back in her room in less than a minute and he didn't have his shirt on even though she had left it with his jeans.

"You okay?" She couldn't help but stare like an idiot. Why hadn't he gotten fully dressed?

"Can you bring me the first aid kit? I think I've started my leg bleeding again," she stuttered. He brought back the box and came over to the bed. "You can go now, I'll fix it."

"No, I want to see, if it's bleeding again, maybe you need a few stitches on that deep one."

"But...um, I can't pull up the leg of these pants." She wasn't keen on showing him anymore of her body. He'd seen enough.

He obviously didn't understand her dilemma or think it was a big deal. "Lie back."

He reached for her waistband. "Dammit, Jake...stop, I'll do it." She squirmed and pulled down the pants just enough to expose her bandage.

He was grinning like a fool and she was beet red. She reached behind her and grabbed a pillow to cover up because her shirt wasn't long enough. He started to unwrap the outer bandage. She noticed he'd turned serious and he was very focused on taking proper care of her.

"Yes, it's bleeding, but not a lot. I think if you stay off of it and keep it rested, it'll be okay without stitches. I'll redress all of it and then I'll carry you down the stairs. I made you some scrambled eggs. I have coffee on as well."

Once Jacob announced his work was done, he pulled her pants back up and lifted her off the bed. She was pressed against his naked chest as he walked them both down the stairs.

"Jacob, where's your shirt?"

"I want you to keep that one, I've got an extra one stored on my bike."

"I don't need your shirt."

"Well, I still want you to keep it. I can't wear it anymore," was all he said, which didn't make any sense.

Jacob sat next to her at the table. He had two plates of cheesy scrambled eggs and toast. "I didn't know you cooked, this looks nice," she complimented him.

"Thanks, I don't know how to do too much, but I've perfected these."

She finished her plate, and Jacob was right, his eggs were really good. They didn't talk while they ate. She knew they had a lot to say to one another, but she didn't know where to start.

Jacob took their dishes to the sink and washed them all quickly. "Why don't you leave Charlie a note? We're going to be awhile."

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Someplace private."

She wasn't sure why they needed to leave, but she was trusting him.

He told her to sit tight for a second, and he walked outside, so she wrote a short note to her Dad. He was gone maybe 15 minutes, but when he came back in; he had taken the time to slip on that shirt he'd mentioned.

Jacob came up to Bella where she was sitting. "Do you need anything before we leave? I'll grab us some water. Do you want anything else?"

"No, I'll just grab my jacket as we go out."

"I'm going to carry you to the truck, okay?" he asked.

"Alright."

"You ready?"

"Yes."

He slowly lifted her up, but instead of heading for the front door, he took her to the kitchen counter and sat her down. He stepped in closer. "Bells, before we go, I...um I just wanted you to know how sorry I am about everything. You're so special to me," he gently stroked the side of her face with the back of his hand. "I know I have a funny way of showing it and I've made a huge mess of everything, but I swear it wasn't intentional. The most important thing to me is that you're healthy and safe. If that means staying away from you, that's what I'll do."

He looked like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. She responded to him by reaching for his shoulders and pulling him towards her. She wanted to hold him. It wasn't exactly forgiveness or understanding, but they both had a need for the comfort.

Jacob spoke up again, "After what I have to tell you, I'm pretty sure aren't going to want to see me again." He pulled back to look into her eyes. She could feel the intensity of his gaze. He was longing for something. Maybe she was too. "Bells, don't freak out, but can I? Just once to see what it's like..." he didn't say the word, but she knew what he was asking, since both of his hands held her face. She should say "no", but she didn't because she wanted the confirmation that her feelings were real. She put her hands around his neck and he stepped in another step closer. She closed her eyes, and then his lips pressed against hers. They had denied their feelings for too long, so the bottled up emotions poured out. There was nothing timid or hesitant about the kiss. It was immediately passionate. She clung harder to his neck, he pulled at her waist and she wrapped her good leg around him. The fusion of their mouths was like nothing she'd ever experienced. It was confusing and exhilarating all at once. Was this their first kiss, their only kiss, and their last kiss all rolled up into one? She couldn't get enough him. His mouth expertly coaxed hers to conform to whatever he wanted. He was in complete control. That taste of him was exquisite and would forever be burned onto her tongue. Finally, he pulled back to give her the oxygen her body desperately craved, but she would have easily let him smother her with that kiss that never felt like it would end. He then paid attention to her face and neck, giving her more kisses all over them. She rubbed down his back, which caused her regret that she'd insisted he put on a shirt. She wished she'd been touching his hot skin.

They gave each other a couple of more short kisses and Jacob leaned into her forehead and said, "Thank you."

"Jake...

"Hmm?"

"What are we going to do?"

"I don't know, Bells. Come on, lets go. I'd rather not run into Charlie just yet."

He picked her up and she held one arm around his neck. He grabbed the water bottles and she stuck out her free hand to grab her jacket off the hook. They got into her truck and she stayed in the middle next to him, no longer caring about being spotted. She couldn't possibly leave his side after what they'd just shared.

Jacob drove them to a cabin on the northern boundary of the reservation. She knew Charlie and Billy went there occasionally. It was supposedly by some of the best fishing spots. "Wasn't this Harry's?"

"Yeah," he answered as he stopped the truck.

They went inside and Jacob took her straight for the sofa that was covered with a quilt.

He said he wanted to get it over with before he lost his nerve so he started out with a question. "Bella, remember when you were getting to know Edward and you asked me some questions the day you visited La Push with your high school friends?"

She immediately felt uncomfortable. Why would he start their talk off with a question about Edward? "Um, yeah, I guess so."

"I told you some legends, does that refresh your memory?"

She shook her head, she didn't need to be reminded. She remembered every word that was said that night.

"Bella, you and I both know that those weren't really legends, agreed?"

He knew about the Cullen's, but how? She still played dumb.

"Jacob, of course they were. Remember, they were just stories...scary stories," she recounted his words from that night.

He shook his head. "You don't have to pretend any longer. I know what Edward is...I've known for a long time."

She started to shiver. Jacob grabbed an extra blanket off the chair and threw it over her legs. He went over to the fireplace and started a fire giving her a chance to let that revelation sink in.

"I know you've noticed, Seth and I keep certain things from you."

"Yes, I've said that many times."

"Well, I'm breaking a few rules and I will answer any questions you have."

"Okay, you're some sort of leader. What do you lead, Jacob?" that much she knew.

He took her hands in his. "Look at me, Bells."

"I am ."

"No, I mean really look. You know you can trust me. I'm not going to lie to you. Everything I'm saying is the truth, no matter if it seems impossible."

"Okay."

"I'm the alpha...the alpha of a pack." She inadvertently squeezed his hands. "A wolf pack, we're spirit wolves. A few members of the tribe have a gene enabling them to shift into a wolf at a certain age. We protect the tribe against the threat of cold ones. The Cullen's are cold ones, vampires. Now, do you know I'm telling the truth?"

She looked down at their hands and took deep breaths. Her arm was tingling and she was scared, not of Jacob; but because she knew he was telling her the truth. He let go of one of her hands and ran it through her hair. "You okay?"

She shook her head side to side at first, but then changed and moved it up and down. Her eyes started to burn and she felt tears quickly form there.

"Seth?" She whispered

"Yes, Seth too. Sam, Paul, Jared, Embry, Quil, Collin, Brady and Leah," he revealed

"Leah?" she was surprised.

"Yep, it was a shock when it happened, she's the only female ever as far as we know."

"So how does it happen? Do you have to have a full moon or you only come out at night?"

"Nope, Bells, we aren't the werewolves like you've read about. We're shape-shifters, and we control when we want to change. We call it phasing. The only time we struggle controlling it is in the beginning. New wolves are more unpredictable and volatile. Of course being angry signals the urge to shift and the threat of a leech triggers it in a heartbeat. We're designed to destroy them, they're our mortal enemies. We have speed and agility in order to hunt them down. As well as acute senses of smell and hearing. We can even sense certain emotions. I know you've noticed how hot we are. Our core temp is around 108 degrees. We communicate telepathically as wolves and we heal at a remarkable rate."

"I get that it has to be a secret, but who else knows?"

"Only our pack, the elders on the counsel including my Dad, of course. Also, the imprints are in on the secret."

"Imprint, what's an imprint?"

He dropped his head towards his lap and he told her the story of how certain wolves find an imprint. He told her what the legends stated about the imprints.

Everything he said caused her heart to sink deeper and deeper. That was what Nadia was, that is why he was tied to her. She was his perfect mate, his other half, his soul mate. Bella felt like she was nothing as he explained it.

"Bells, I know it sounds hopeless, but listen to me. You met all of them? There's nothing positive I can say about it. Something isn't right with this generation. We've been screwed over. I swear to you, I'm on a quest to rectify our situation. I've found someone who is helping me, because the counsel is a dead end."

"Why did you get involved with me Jacob? Are you that selfish, it wasn't enough to have a woman that was created just for you? Was I some sort of challenge you sought because you were bored? What was the point of any of this? I can't believe the way you kissed me earlier, when you can't possibly feel anything for me. I'm such an idiot. I let you use me."

"No, you have it all wrong. I'm not using you, but you're right, I'm selfish. I want you, Bells. Please don't turn me away. I don't want her, but it isn't possible to leave her yet. I'm trying, and I've made a little progress. It's slow going, and it isn't fair to ask you to wait, but I'm still going to. We have something, you know we do. It's strong... strong enough to interfere with this supernatural bond that is supposed to be unbreakable. That should mean something, don't you think?"

"You all are whatever they need, correct? They want a lover, so it ends up in a romantic relationship except for Quil. What is that even?"

"He's like a brother to her, for now. She's a handful, as you anyone can see. It pretty much has gone to all their heads, having someone that is utterly devoted to only them. The only one that is not too bad is Kim, but that union is still flawed. Jared is very smart, he was headed to college with a full scholarship. Of course, he lost it after he phased. He and Kim have absolutely nothing in common, but she at least tries to be a decent person. She just rubs most people the wrong way, but she had a difficult life. Her parents were very selfish, they left her after she got with Jared. He's all she has in life."

"So, four of you out of ten? You say it's rare, but that's 40%, could more wolves imprint?"

"Yes, Bells. It could still happen to him."

"I came back to Forks to start living my life again and I've managed to get wrapped up with not one, but two men that can never truly be mine?"

"I don't think it's as cut and dry as that."

"Well, there's only one thing to do as far as I'm concerned."

"And what's that?"

"I'm going back to Florida, Charlie's nearly 100% recovered. There's no reason for me to stay any longer," she declared.

"No, running away isn't going to solve anything. Didn't you learn from before?"

"I had to leave, I couldn't stay here," she pulled away from him.

"Bells, you didn't do very well by leaving. You've told me the stories. I wish you would have stayed. Maybe I could've helped you. Everything would have been different."

"How so? You still would've imprinted on Nadia and abandoned me just like..." she didn't say his name, but Jacob knew what she was thinking.

"Do you honestly think I would've been hanging out in bars picking up randoms if I had someone like you in my life? I would've been with you all the time?"

"So now it's my fault you ended up a player and met Nadia in a bar?"

"No, of course not. I'm not blaming you for my fucked up existence. I just wonder sometimes. Everyone has 'what ifs'. Bells, please, don't go. You still need help. Let me help you. We need to talk about how you almost hurt yourself, honey. You have no idea how scared I was when I realized you were out there bleeding. It's time we go to Charlie. He needs to know."

"No, Jacob. You keep asking me to trust you. You know that is a horrible thing to burden him with. I can't," she cried.

"I'm sorry Bells, but if you don't tell him, I will. I know I promised, but I'd rather disappoint you than find you past the point of no return and have to tell Charlie how I knew, but I promised to keep quiet. Why don't you take him with you to your therapist? She could probably help explain. You need to call her and tell her."

"I know, but please, not my dad," she pleaded again even though he wasn't accepting her answer.

She then admitted she wished he'd never found her.

"You don't mean that? Do you really want to die?"

"No, it'd be easier." She rubbed up and down her arm.

Jacob stopped her, "We have to do something about this," he turned her arm over and took a closer look.

"What do you mean?"

"As soon as I saw it, I knew what it was. Explain to me how you weren't changed." Bella told him all about James. He looked disgusted as soon as she started talking. He had a puzzled look hearing how Edward sucked the venom out. He started to touch the scar and area around it. She pulled back, not liking the feeling it produced.

"You really don't like to be touched there, do you?" was his observation.

"Not by you," she admitted.

He raised his eyebrows like he was trying to draw some sort of conclusion.

"What about here?" He brushed across her cheek and down her neck. Her body was a wicked traitor. He'd pretty much informed her there was no way he could be with her, but she still melted into his touch. He trailed his hand down her arm and then brought it to her waist. He leaned in and put his cheek against hers. His hand actually went up the bottom of her shirt to rub the skin above her waist and he placed one gentle kiss on her lips again. "That all feels good to you, doesn't it?"

She pulled back, but didn't answer, because it all felt extremely good. He knew it did, by the way she reacted.

"Something is not right about that scar. I want to take you to someone. Her name is Kelsee, but you can't tell anyone about it. She's not on good terms with the tribe, but I think she needs to examine you."

"Is she a doctor?"

"Not in the traditional sense," he shifted his gaze like he was hiding something.

Bella grimaced.

"Maybe, some people have it in their minds, she's some sort of a witch, but it's not true. People are just afraid of the unknown or things that can't explain."

"I don't know...I don't think I feel comfortable with that."

"Please think about it, Bells. Most of the time you seem very well adjusted, how are we to know what that bite did to you? You shouldn't even be alive after something like that. I've given you a lot to think about, but can we at least stay in touch? What about Seth?"

"I have no idea, it almost felt like we were breaking up last night, but I still have to face him. I want to go back home, Jake, but I don't want to cut all ties to you. I really don't."

He hugged her again and they both held on for a long time. He kissed her forehead, "Alright, let me get you back home."

"I have one more request," she stated.

"Anything, what is it?"

"Can I see you as a wolf?"

_**Thanks for reading. Always love hearing what you might be thinking...**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Thanks so much for all the great feedback!**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight is sole property of Stephanie Meyer**_

Chapter 11

Bella had never considered herself an animal lover. Perhaps, because she was never given the option of having one, but seeing Jacob's wolf was exhilarating. Her preconceived notion that he might resemble something off the National Geographic channel flew out the window as soon as he stepped in sight. He was freaking huge, not like any wolf she'd ever seen. More than that, he was beautiful; but somehow she could still see Jacob inside him. He looked straight at her, but she opted to stay on the porch. She wasn't afraid, just uncertain how she should behave. "Very impressive, Jake...thanks for showing me," she eventually said. She waved him off, and he went around the cabin. He soon came back looking exactly like himself, maybe a little meeker than she'd ever caught him looking.

"Well?"

"You were amazing."

"You could have touched me you know."

"Maybe, next time."

"So, there'll be a next time?" he sounded hopeful.

"For some reason, I think there will always be a next time with us Jake," that was the most honest statement she'd made to him, thus far.

She wanted to walk to the truck, but he put his arm around her so she could keep her weight off her leg. She led him towards the passenger side that time. They got started back towards Forks, she stayed pressed against the opposite door and stared out the window. He'd given her a lot to think about. She had to go home and face Charlie, call Dr. Thompson and talk to Seth.

"Hey," he called her away from her thoughts. "I have to go home, are you going to be fine?"

"I'm going to talk to Charlie, Jacob. I promise."

"That's good. I'm probably going to have some things to sort out when I go back, but if you need me; I'll find a way to come back over."

"Don't worry about it tonight. I'll be fine with my Dad. I'm probably going to ask Seth over too."

Jacob went around to get her. "I can walk again."

"Nope, these stairs are steeper, let me carry you up." They'd just reached the the porch when she heard an engine. Both their heads turned to make eye contact with the driver. It was Seth. He was there even though Bella told him not to come back until she called him.

He was out of the truck in flash, yelling, "What the fuck did you do, Jacob?" Jacob sat her down on the chair on the porch.

Seth had his hands on Jacob, before Bella could even register what was taking place. Jacob turned around to face him. "Calm down, Seth. Bella got hurt, I was helping her up the steps." Seth didn't back down, he shoved Jacob; who went backwards off the steps. He still managed to land on his feet.

"Seth, stop, he's telling the truth," she confirmed. He wasn't hearing her. He had one thing on his mind. He was obviously putting Jake in his place. Seth had been very patient about their friendship, but not any longer. He threw the first punch at Jake, but he dodged it. Instead of hitting him, Jacob took his legs out from under him. The two of them started scrambling around on Charlie's front lawn, so naturally Bella began to yell for them to stop.

Charlie came outside, alerted by her screams. "What the hell is going on out here?"

His commanding voice halted their scuffle. They both stood up, covered in dirt and grass; but neither looking like they had any real injuries.

Seth dusted himself off and approached Charlie. "I apologize, Charlie, but Jacob has been mistreating Bella and I've had enough."

"Who in the fuck do you think you are? Mistreating her? You can't be serious," Jake responded furiously, looking like he was going to jump on Seth again.

"Calm down, Jake. Both of you need to leave, so I can talk to my daughter. Don't think I won't call this in to the station and have you both picked up if this happens again." Charlie looked to Seth,"Son, you swore an oath to uphold the law in this town. How would it look for someone to see you having a brawl out on the Chief's front lawn?"

Jacob and Seth continued to stare back and forth at each other and even though they apologized to Charlie and Bella, she didn't think the fight was over. She tried her best to smooth it over. "Jacob, can you please leave? We'll talk later."

"Fine..." was all he said. He was not anything like the Jacob she'd just spent the night and a majority of the day with. He could turn at the drop of a hat. She didn't like that at all about him. He soon sped off on his motorcycle in a cloud of dust. She sat there on the porch with her Dad by her side.

Seth approached them, "What happened?"

"A lot, but Seth...I need to talk with my Dad in private, so can you come back in a few hours?" Charlie started towards the door away from them.

"Bella...you know, don't you?" he spoke in a low voice.

She nodded her head for conformation.

"Can I please give you my side?"

"Later, Seth and please don't go looking for Jake. I'll tell you everything, I swear," she urged.

Charlie stopped the door from shutting all the way. "You heard her, Seth. Give her some space and as your boss, I concur. Don't you dare go anywhere near Jacob the rest of the day."

Seth made his exit, not quite as dramatic as Jake, but he did not leave happy either.

Charlie helped her inside, and to his chair. "Sit there so you can prop your leg. Are you hungry?"

"A little."

"Well, figure out everything we need to talk about while I get us a couple of sandwiches made."

Charlie set a couple of plates down on the coffee table, he brought Bella a soda and handed her a plate of food. He took a couple of bites and washed it down with his own soda. "Why don't you start out by telling me what is going on between you and Jake? That out front was pure jealousy on both sides. Bells, I'm confused. I thought you'd be a good friend for Jacob, but it seems like I led you astray."

"No, not at all Dad. Jacob and I made our own complications. You're right though, he and I aren't only friends." She held her head down because she was embarrassed to admit that to him.

"How'd you hurt yourself Bells?"

"I did it," was the beginning of the whole truth.

"Okay, but how?"

"Dad, I hurt myself on purpose," he looked extremely troubled,"and it isn't the first time. I have to tell you something. Please don't be mad." She went back to the time she first arrived in Jacksonville. She recounted all the instances she'd cut herself, the times she'd been in the hospital. She told him about the blood transfusions and about the medicines she was currently taking and what each of them were for. She explained how the night before had been upsetting and how she'd wandered off. She told him Jacob found her in the woods and bandaged up her leg. The leg she cut up with a knife, she'd intended to hurt herself in worse ways, but the cold overcame her. He never looked mad, just sad. He wiped his face several times, and he left the other half of his sandwich untouched. She'd destroyed his appetite.

"Why, Bells? How could your mother hide something like this from me?"

"It was all my doing. I begged her not to. I was too ashamed. I didn't want you know how weak and pathetic I was. Dad, I know I haven't always been the best daughter, but you're so important to me. I want you to be proud of me."

"I'm always proud of you, Bella. I'm sorry if I didn't make that clear. I screwed up by letting you stay away so much growing up. I thought since you were a girl, you needed your mother more than me. I read some stuff once, that a girl's choices in men are often a result of her relationship to her father."

"Dad, stop. There's no way you're to blame for my questionable choices."

"This is all because of the little bastard, Edwin, isn't it?" Charlie always fumbled the name on purpose.

"Dad, you know is name is Edward...yes, it all started with me not being able to handle his departure."

"What do I need to do to help?" Charlie had walked over to her chair and knelt down and took her hands. Maybe they had both made mistakes along the way, but she could never doubt how much he loved her. He might have been a man of few words, but his eyes spoke volumes. They'd come a long way in a few months.

"I'm going to ask my therapist for a special session, Monday. Will you go with me? Do you think you can get off work?"

"Yes, of course, I'm the boss. I'll be there. Now, about those two idiots that I caught rolling around my yard...Bella, you don't need that kind of stress."

"I know. I'm going to deal with them."

"How?" Good question since it was all she asked herself as well.

"Well, I've already settled a few things with Jacob, but do you mind if Seth and I have some privacy in a bit?"

"No, that's fine. If they both care about you, I think they should understand you need space."

She smiled hoping to reassure her father, but she was a little apprehensive. It wasn't as simple as telling them to back off, she also had a problem. She still felt like she needed both of them and it wasn't fair to any of them. She was at a crossroads and she still had one foot headed in the other direction. Running away was still in the back of her mind.

She managed up the stairs slowly and got some fresh clothes so she could take a shower. It was a first time she got a good look at her leg. There were at least 10 visible cuts of different sizes and varying degrees of redness. The one right in the middle of her thigh was the deep one. She took a hot shower and cleaned them up. She dried them and put antibiotic ointment on them before covering them again. Her feet weren't that bad, but she dug a couple of thorns and stickers out of them. She left a message for Dr. Thompson briefly stating she had a small emergency and her father was aware of her history. She asked for an appointment anytime Monday. She'd take a personal day if she needed to.

She assumed Seth would be over soon, but she texted him just in case and let him know he could stop by anytime he was ready. With her phone in her hand, she thought, that she might as well contact Jake. She texted him once to say that Charlie and her were good and that Seth was on his way.

He surprised her by calling, "Hey, you okay after talking to Charlie?"

"As good as I can be. We're going to Dr. Thompson, Monday."

"That's good," she could tell he was still troubled.

"What about you? I'm sure Nadia was upset."

"Upset is not the word for it. She trashed the place. I've been cleaning every since I came in. I've got a variety of messages from my Dad, Old Quil, and Emily. I don't want to go into it any further, because it's all my problem not yours. I know you need time with Seth, but I may come over after you've had some time to talk."

"Why, Jake? I don't know that's the best idea."

"Because, all three of us need to get some stuff straight."

"If Charlie catches you fighting again, he's going to put you two in jail. He's not joking."

"I won't fight him, I swear it."

"Well, I should go. I guess I'll see you after awhile if you decide to come."

"Bye Bella."

"Goodbye," she ended the call.

Seth came over soon after she hung up with Jacob, and Charlie sent him up to her room so they could talk.

"Hey, come on in," Bella told him when she saw him peaking in the crack of her door.

She hated that things seemed awkward between them. All the progress they had made seemed to have disappeared after one bad night.

"Bella, seriously are you okay now that you know what I am?" was his first question. She motioned for him to join her on her bed. He slid in beside her and the two of them sat there propped against the headboard. Maybe it was wrong to be there with him like that only a few hours after she'd spent the night practically naked with Jake, but she snuggled under his arm despite her memories.

"Of course Seth. I use to date Edward, remember? My mind obviously isn't wired like normal people. I'm good with weird, not that you're weird...but you know what I mean. Seth, you're still you, but."

"But what?"

"I...I know all about imprinting now, Seth."

He took a deep breath and exhaled a growl. "It's not an issue for us. Don't even begin to think that could happen to me. It won't."

"Didn't Jake use to say that?"

"Well, I'm not Jake obviously. I only wanted to tell you the truth because of how close we were getting. I didn't want to lie to you any longer. I didn't want to scare you away. Don't worry about imprinting. It's rare."

"Seth, I need to tell you the whole story. I'm sure you want to know what happened. Jake didn't hurt me, I hurt myself. I've done it before. Seth, that's why I'm in therapy." She gave him a few of the details, so he'd have a clear understanding of her condition.

"Bella," he pulled her in so her head rested on his chest. "I knew something was going on, but I didn't think it was that bad. I should have never left you last night. Damn Jake. He sent me away and you needed me."

"He found me and took care of me, Seth."

"Bella, don't you see what he's doing? I'm so fucking done with him, he better not think about coming around me anytime soon."

"He's coming over," she blurted out.

"What? Why?" he was getting pissed again. She really wasn't use to Seth being like that.

"He says the three of us need to talk, but Seth he swore he wasn't coming to fight. Promise me, you will do the same."

"Again, I'm sorry what happened earlier. You know that's not me."

"It's part of being a wolf?" she was asking.

"Yes and no. We're all capable of it, but it was me, the man; I can't blame it on the wolf. I'm just sick of his shit. I usually have a handle on my temper. It's important since I chose law enforcement. I won't disappoint Charlie again." She hadn't been able to spit it out, that she thought they should break up or maybe they already were. She truly didn't know, she was still inept in that department.

"I think we should go downstairs. Can you help me out?"

Seth picked her up without hesitation, and went downstairs. Charlie looked away from the TV and watched them the whole way down.

"Dad, Jake's coming over and he, Seth and I are going to sort out some issues."

"I'm not liking the sound of that," he said as he rubbed over his mustache.

"Charlie, I'll behave, trust me," Seth promised.

"Okay, Seth...I guess, I'll head upstairs, but if I hear one raised voice I'm kicking you both out."

As soon as Charlie was out of the picture, Seth tested the waters to see where he and Bella stood. He took her face and got her to face him. He was asking her with his eyes. She wasn't sure of her answer.

"Seth, I think we need some time apart. I'm not saying permanently, but I'm confused. I still care about you."

"So we're breaking up? That's it?" She was wrong before, he didn't think they were broken up after the night before.

"No, I'm asking for space to figure myself out."

He looked extremely put out all of the sudden. She thought he wasn't accepting her response, "He's out there." He stood up and went to the door.

Seth stepped aside and Jacob came inside.

He sat in the chair, Seth returned to Bella on the sofa.

"What did you want to talk about Jake?" Seth asked him.

He looked at Bella, and she knew what he wanted to know. "It's fine, Jake. I told him about the cutting."

"I think Bella should see Kelsee. Something is wrong with the scar, Seth. Have you taken a good look at it?"

Bella exposed her arm to him. She cringed when he touched it. It was the same response Jacob produced in her.

"Does it hurt?"

"I can't explain it, but I don't like you or Jacob touching it."

"You said Kelsee. Isn't she dead?" Seth didn't look very impressed by the mention of this lady.

"No!"

"Well, I don't know why you'd want to risk Bella seeing that woman. I've heard the stories, she's a pauwau."

"What's that?" Bella wasn't going to attempt to pronounce it.

"She's a witch, Bella," Seth looked very serious, but she kind of laughed.

"Seth, do you really believe in witches?"

"I don't know, Bella. Do you really believe in vampires and men that turn into wolves?" She sank back into the couch. Ouch, his words stung and made her feel stupid. "She's been exiled. She isn't even Quileute, she's from a different tribe. Old Quil exposed her decades ago. Jake, how'd you get mixed up with her and what could she possibly do for Bella?"

"She and I have been doing research together. I trust her. Old Quil made up all that shit up to protect his ass. She was his mistress, that's the real truth."

"Well, are you going to deny she wasn't snooping around in our archives? She was up to something. Bella has no business being around her. I can't believe you'd put her life at risk."

"My life?" Bella asked. Seth was being very dramatic.

"Yes, Bella. Jacob didn't tell you about the guy she killed."

"Oh my god, she killed someone, Jake!" She shrieked and then lowered her voice, remembering Charlie could be eavesdropping. She hoped not since they were discussing the supernatural. "She's a murderer?" she whispered.

"Seth, you need to quit listening to Quil, he only repeats what his grandfather says. He embellishes too. Bells, the guy was old. It was natural causes, nothing was ever proven or she would have been arrested." Jacob spoke directly to her, "I've already told her about you. She's working on the treatment," Jacob added.

"What exactly do you think is wrong?" Bella knew the bite mark never felt right, especially in the beginning, but she was use to it.

"I think you are poisoned, with venom. It's trapped in that scar and it's influencing your mind and body."

What Jacob was saying was crazy, but Bella knew what Seth had pointed out was also true. She knew the impossible existed so maybe she should consider what he was telling her. What if she was poisoned? She could never get a legitimate doctor to treat her. This lady, Kelsee might be her only option. Jacob trusted her and Seth definitely did not, but she trusted both men.

"I'll think about it Jake." Jacob had a very pleased look that he had gotten her to consider it. Seth looked back and forth between them.

Seth started shaking his head. "I can't believe how stupid I've been." He was studying Jacob. "All this time, I thought you resented me because I was free to choose. That's not it at all, you wanted her. I don't know why? You're imprinted! That's what all this concern with Bella really is? It's why you and I are fighting so much."

"Seth, we never set out to hurt you. I know it doesn't make sense..."

He cut Jacob off, "We?" he looked at Bella. "You too? Seriously, Bella; you've been cheating on me with him?"

"No, Seth. I...I only wanted to be friends, but I," she shouldn't lie. He was asking point blank. How could she answer, because she didn't even know herself what was going on. She feel anxiety rise up inside her.

"Seth, you need to back off. Bella is getting upset. She can't handle this right now." Jake was quick to notice when she would get overwhelmed.

"I need to back off...you arrogant prick. You need to leave and stay away from Bella. Go home to Nadia," He paused and then added, "The only place you were meant to be."

Jacob looked to her, waiting for a response. "I think both of you should go. Jacob, please leave."

He stood up, and told Seth, "Come on."

"No, I need Seth to hear me out, first."

Jacob did what she asked, he didn't look happy about it, but when he left she felt like she could breathe again.

"Seth, I mean it when I say that I care about you. I also admit that I care about Jacob more than I should. I know that is only going to end up hurting me. Let me sort out my feelings and then maybe we could start over. I don't want to lose you , but I'm not going to string you along."

He didn't give her another chance to talk. He kissed her, and she was reminded that she really did have strong feelings for him. "Sorry, I didn't do that to upset you, but I want you to know how important you are to me. We have started something special. I don't want it to end, so if you only need a friend right now; I'll be that for you, but please stay away from Jacob. I know I sound like a damned broken record, but look what almost happened to you."

She shook her head, "I'm going to distance myself. Okay, I get it. I understand what Nadia is, but I still feel for him. He doesn't deserve what has happened to him. I can't just turn off my concern." She couldn't give him any more answers, but she hugged him at the door. If she didn't have those confusing feelings for Jacob, it would be so easy to fall all the way for Seth. That's what he deserved, a woman that was totally devoted him. What if that woman was an imprint? She hated that word and she'd only known about it a few hours.

Bella got ready for bed and listened to her message from Dr. Thompson. "Bella, come in at 2 o'clock. I've made time for you and your father. Call before if you need me."

Bella also had another message from an unknown number. She listened, "Swan...you know who this is? We're still on for Tuesday night. I know something is up between you and my brother, you need my advice more than ever. No backing out. Later." Leah, couldn't be serious. Should she call her back and decline? Bella was hoping her leg would heal quickly, the last thing she needed was a broken arm. If Leah knew everything, that was happening some day; she was almost certain.

**_Up next: a night out with Leah! _****_Thanks so much for reading._**


	13. Chapter 13

_**Sorry, it's been a busy week; but I finally got this update finished. Love to hear from you, so hit the review button or send me a PM to let me know what you think. Be sure and check out the new banner for this fic as well. All credits for the banner go to don'tcallmeleelee, she's amazing!**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters belong to Stephanie Meyer**_

Chapter 12

Bella's leg was bouncing up and down with nervous anticipation. Charlie muted the TV and turned to her. "Bells, are you still upset about yesterday?"

They had visited Dr. Thompson together the day before. It had not been as terrible as she had expected. Charlie listened carefully and asked a lot of questions. He was totally committed to taking care of his daughter. He'd do anything to assure her safety. Dr. Thompson could not say enough good things about him after he left them to continue with a short private session. That time was actually more stressful than the half hour with Charlie. She had to come clean on her behavior with Jake and why she felt the need to break up with Seth. Dr. Thompson told her she had no intention of telling her what to do, it was only her job to offer advice. It seemed to her that Bella was not taking much of that lately.

"Um no, Dad. You were great yesterday. Thanks for taking me out to dinner. We should do that more often."

"Then why the hell are you so jumpy? You aren't expecting one of those boys, are you?"

Funny how Charlie still referred to Seth and Jacob as boys still. "No, actually I'm suppose to go out soon."

"With who?"

"Leah Clearwater," and she watched various expressions cross his face with that reveal.

"Oh, well...that's kind of surprising, but good. What do you two have planned?"

"Um..." She knew she was an adult, but she still had a little difficulty admitting it. "Leah wants to go hang out at a club or bar, I think. I don't know exactly, she invited me."

"A bar, well be careful Bella. At least I know Leah's tough and she will take care of you, but did you tell her you don't drink?"

"Yep, I told her."

"Oh, okay...is that why you're nervous, because you think she'll pressure you to drink?" It was like they were having the peer pressure talk they had skipped over years ago.

"No, Dad...in case, you haven't noticed, she's a little intimidating." There was a loud knock at the door. Bella stood up and grabbed her bag. "Here goes nothing, Dad. I'll see you tomorrow, I guess."

Bella opened the door and Leah waved to Charlie, "You girls be safe and have fun."

"That's what you're wearing?"

Bella looked down at herself. "Yeah, what's wrong with it?"

Leah shook her head, "Nothing, I guess."

They soon took off in Leah's car. Bella thought Leah drove like a maniac. It reminded her of times she'd ridden with Alice or Edward. She was going to be nauseous even before they got to the bar and she wasn't even planning on drinking.

"You look tense Swan. I swear this is going to be fun. Trust me, you need this. When was the last time you did a girls' night out?"

"Um, I think it was...never," she admitted.

Leah laughed, "Wow, you're kind of pathetic, aren't you?"

"Pretty much," she agreed.

"So you dumped Seth? That's the story I was able to wrangle from him, or more like Mom. He didn't want to talk about it."

"No, I need some time to sort out some stuff."

"You mean Jake?" Five minutes in and she was already bringing up his name.

Bella wasn't sure how much Leah knew, and she wasn't about to volunteer anything that would get her into trouble. "Not exactly."

"I don't get it. You know everything now, right? Jacob is off limits, my brother really likes you."

"Leah, I never meant to hurt Seth, please believe me. I really care about him and as far as Jacob goes, that's complicated. We confused our friendship."

"Okay, okay...you can relax. I'm not taking you off to a dark alley to break your arm. I actually agree with how you're handling this."

"You do?" that was not what she was expecting from Leah, at all.

"Yes, if you had stayed with Seth and ran around with Jacob or worse, cheated on my brother; then we'd have a problem. But I'm warning you, if you go back with Seth, make sure it's for the right reasons and that he's your only focus."

Bella relaxed a little after hearing that Leah seemed to be very reasonable. She might enjoy herself after all. It didn't seem like she was in any danger from her new, unexpected friend. She totally agreed with Leah, if she got back with Seth, she was going to do it the right way. With the continuous high level of speed they were in Port Angeles in no time. It was much quicker than Bella had ever made it.

She couldn't help but ask, "We aren't going to one of the places Jake and Seth use to hang out at, are we?"

"You mean like the bar Jake met Nadia in?" Leah caught on quick.

She shrugged her shoulders, because she really didn't want to.

"So the boys came clean about those days?"

"Well, Jake did. Seth and I haven't discussed it."

"He's embarrassed. He still wants you to think he's all sweet and innocent, but phasing along with those guys at such a young age wasn't easy on him. He grew up way too fast and they succeeded in corrupting him. He's no Lahote, but he acted up for awhile. I have a place in mind and I know they never went there. The bartender and I are cool, so we might even get you a free drink or two."

"Oh, I'll stick with virgin drinks, if you don't mind?"

"Actually, I do, you seriously need a drink, Bella."

"Well, I take medicine..."

"And did you take any tonight?"

"No, not yet. I take mine before bed."

"Skip it, you won't die if you miss, right?"

Bella wasn't sure how to answer that. No, of course, she could miss a night. She really should try and loosen up a little. Leah was going all out to make her feel comfortable. "I'll think about it."

They got out at a small little place at the corner of a strip center. It was nothing fancy for sure. Leah said she liked it, usually a calm, decent crowd. It was a good first time in her words for Bella. She wondered how often did Leah think she might do this girls' night out thing? "First rule: no cellphones, leave it in the car." Bella placed hers in the console without hesitation, no sense in messing with Leah's apparent good mood.

They went inside the small bar, called The Dive, appropriately. It was not crowded in the least. Bella surveyed the room. It was dimly lit, somewhat an eclectic mix of country and biker ambiance. A jukebox sat off to the side and was surprisingly playing a contemporary R&B song. There was a pool table in the back of the room and several dart boards along one wall. She quickly noticed she and Leah were the only other women besides one waitress and an older woman that was sitting with a younger man at the bar. She looked like she'd spent the better part of her life sitting on a barstool. Why did Leah bring them here? Bella felt like they stuck out like a sore thumb. She had spent a great deal of her life trying to blend and not be noticed, but now she felt the eyes of the room on her. If she'd been the touching sort, she might have held onto Leah's arm, but that would have made it worse; so she followed closely as they approached the bar. The older barfly looked their way, possibly sizing up the competition. Bella wondered if it would be polite to assure her, she was not a threat. Of course, she held her tongue. In fact, she had to tell her mouth to quit biting it, literally.

"Hey, Mason, slow night?"

The bartender rolled his eyes, "Surprised, Lee? It's the usual, but who's your pretty friend?"

"Bella, this is Mason, my favorite mixologist. He doesn't waste my time trying to make small talk, my kind of guy."

"Ah, thanks, Lee. I love you too." he leaned in closer to Bella and whispered. She almost couldn't hear him because of the music, which had changed to 90's alternative, "She and I are secretly engaged, but don't tell anyone," he covered his lips with his finger.

"Shut up, asshole, and give me my usual. Do you have something light and fruity for my friend? She's a newbie."

"You're in luck. Candace made a sangria for ladies' night."

Bella looked around the room one more time, "It's ladies' night?"

"Yeah, the best we've had in months, now that you're here. One Moscow mule and one triple berry sangria coming up."

"Leah, I still don't know if I should drink."

"Swan, it's practically juice, you'll be fine."

Bella wondered what else Leah wanted to talk about. She had mentioned self defense at the bonfire. "So, Leah, how do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Say what's on your mind without caring what anyone else thinks?"

She shrugged. "I've always been that way. My mom use to put her hand over my mouth a lot when I was growing up. After Sam, I got a bad rep, but I was just being me. I wasn't shy about giving my opinions of my circumstance. Why do you let people walk all over you?"

"I don't mean to...I just don't like conflict."

"Well, you got a funny way of showing it. You seem to surround yourself by conflict. What the hell? You fucking dated a vamp."

Bella twisted in her seat again. No one was paying attention to them any longer. "I...I didn't think about it at the time. I was totally captivated by him."

"It's a good thing he dumped you in the woods. I have a feeling you would have given your whole life up for him."

As harsh as that sounded, Leah was probably right. Bella wondered how she was that perceptive since they barely knew each other. Mason sat the drinks in front of them and Bella thought her drink was pretty. She leaned in and smelled it, it did smell like juice, but she could still smell the hint of wine in the glass. Her mom often had a glass at dinner, so she was accustomed to the smell.

"Drink up," Leah instructed.

Bella tentatively brought the wine glass to her lips and took the slightest sip. It was surprisingly good. It didn't burn or taste bitter at all. She thought she could handle this drink. She would take it slow and hopefully Leah wouldn't order her anything else.

"Well?" the bartender was waiting to hear how she liked the drink. Bella assumed she was the only one in the whole bar that would be sampling the sangria.

"I like it, thanks," she told Mason.

He had a nice, big smile on his lips, "First one's, on the house, Cappuccetta."

She smiled back, "Thanks."

"Alright, so we've talked a little about Seth. I think you two are still a good match. The poor kid has never let himself think seriously about a woman before. I've never seen him like this, so don't take too long in sorting out your feelings."

"I won't." Hopefully, she thought but didn't vocalize that.

"Maybe you should date someone else."

"What?" she choked on her drink. "Are you nuts? The last thing I need is to add another man in the mix."

"I'm just saying, all you've experience are guys that are less than normal. Maybe that's what you need is to see a what a everyday guy is like. I can tell you from experience, most are," she took her thumb and pointed it to the floor.

"Are you dating?"

"Me? Dating? Hell no, I'm a satisfied single," she proudly stated.

"Oh," Bella didn't know what that meant, and it must have shown.

"It means, if I need it, I get it, Swan...no strings attached."

She took another long sip of the sangria. It seemed to be getting tastier the more she drank.

"Anyone I know?" she tentatively asked hiding behind her sangria.

"No, don't even think about it. All those idiots are like my brothers, so not even if it was me and them left alone in the world."

"Oh, well, I just thought about Paul, for some reason."

"Definitely not Paul, he's very attached to that appendage, so he wouldn't dare bring it anywhere near me. He may not seem very smart, but he knows better."

"If you don't mind me asking, how do you manage being around Sam?"

"Yes, I mind you asking. I don't want to talk about Sam...ever."

"Oh, I'm sorry. What about Emily? She is your family, will you ever reconcile?"

"Next topic..." she was getting irritated.

Bella let out a sigh of frustration. Leah wasn't giving up any info, but she wanted to continue grilling Bella.

"Let's talk about you instead. I'm fine, you, on the other hand, have problems. Jake...what is with you two?"

Somehow, she'd reached the bottom of the glass. It had a lot of ice, that's why she finished it so fast. Leah held up two fingers to Mason. "Jake, is easy for me to talk to for some reason, and I guess he feels the same way about me. Why are you all so hard on him?"

She wasn't sure, because she obviously wasn't as good as Leah was at reading people, but she looked sad. "Jake held us together. We all looked up to him, we counted on him more than we should, because phasing isn't easy on the mind, body or spirit. He kept us grounded. When she happened, everything changed. Of course, he still managed the pack. We were still performing our duties, but we felt like we no longer had a friend. He was only alpha and he use to be both.

"I hate her." Bella let those words slip easily off her tongue.

"I'll drink to that," and they both took a drink from the glasses Mason had silently left in front of them.

"I thought he was better these past few months, truth be told."

"Oh," she wasn't sure if it was proper to take the credit for that, so that's all she said.

"I don't know what you do or say to him, but it worked until whatever happened at the bonfire. Part of me wants to teach you to be tougher, Bella; but I feel like you'd be safer staying clear of Nadia. I don't trust that bitch, I swear she's dangerous. I wouldn't put it past her resorting to physical violence. She'd probably cut you if faced her alone."

Bella, turned the glass up high, until the ice hit her top lip.

"What? You have a phobia of knives or something?"

Bella's head spun around for a second. This was definitely her last drink. She'd ask Mason for a water next time he stopped by to check on them.

"Hey, Swan, I was only joking...well, maybe not, but in case you didn't know. You're protected. Nadia won't ever stab you."

"What do you mean, I'm protected?"

Leah looked off to the side, "Oh, why the hell not? He didn't order us not to tell. Every since you've been back, Jacob has one of us checking on you. He said you attracted danger in the past, so it's a precaution. To tell you the truth, we've never been responsible for one single person, it's more or less expected we protect our tribe, and the surrounding areas."

"Danger?"

"He means vamps? They like you, I don't know...your blood, maybe."

"Oh, well, he knows about my encounters," Bella nervously pulled at her sleeve. Her scar felt itchy and ached beneath the fabric.

"Whatcha got going on there?"

"Um...I" Bella stammered, "I guess Seth didn't mention it."

"Truth be told, Seth didn't tell me shit. I picked up the rest from the pack."

"Well, what did he think about us going out tonight?"

Leah, cracked up for the first time. "He doesn't know. He told me to drop it, but I knew we needed to get to know each other better. Hence, the all phones stay in the car rule."

"Oh, well, do you think he'll be mad at us?"

"Who cares? We're two single ladies, right? We don't need any man's permission. Besides, Charlie knows where we are tonight, so that's all that matters."

Bella thought for certain that Seth was going to find out and not be happy at all, but Leah was right, they were unattached for the evening. Bella's second sangria was only melting ice chips.

"Let's try you with something a little more substantial. You feel fine, right?"

"Yes," she was shocked, she actually felt great. "I'm just a little warmer, but that's a nice side effect."

"Exactly," she motioned for the bartender again, who left them alone to their conversation. "Hey Mase, two margarita bombs; she's loosened up enough."

"Lee-ah, you sure about that?"

"Yes, make the drinks and mind your own business."

"It's not going to be too strong, is it?"

"Nah, just a little margarita Bella with a beer chaser, no biggie. You'll like it. So what's the deal with the arm?"

Bella pulled up her sleeve to expose it to her.

"Holy shit, is that what I think it is?" She reached out to touch and Bella instantly recoiled. It was the same irritating feeling Jacob and Seth produced. "Okay, start talking, what is the story behind that wicked scar?"

Bella had been sipping on the margarita in the mean time. She really like the flavor, so she took an extra long slurp before spilling her secret yet again. She told her all of it, even Jacob's suspicions and Seth's concerns about this Kelsee lady. Leah stared at her with her mouth hung open for a few seconds. "Damn, I usually don't agree with Jacob's methods, but you gotta do it, Swan."

"What? Why do you think so?"

She grabbed her arm again, "Ugh, don't please," she pulled back annoyed and covered her scar back up with her sleeve.

"It's the wolf, that's why it bothers you. The venom repels us. It's the reaction you're having and even though I doubt Kelsee is playing with a full deck, who else, Bella? Do you really want to take the chance with your life? No one else is going to believe you or have a clue with how to treat this. At least, go see her, I'll go with you if you're scared."

"You really would?"

"Sure,why not?"

Bella was feeling way more relaxed with Leah. She felt like she could tell her almost anything. "Um Leah, do you think Kelsee can help Jacob break his imprint? I get the distinct impression that's why he's involved with her."

"I doubt it, but if it gives him something to do and it keeps him away from Nadia; it isn't so bad that he's trying."

"But one day, won't he be very disappointed?"

"Probably, but he seems to have something, he hasn't had in at least a year."

"What's that?"

"Hope..."

And that's when it started, Bella started laughing. She knew Leah was being super serious, but she really needed to laugh and it wouldn't stop.

"I guess that's my cue to lighten the mood, huh? You like the margarita bomb, don't ya?"

"Oh yeah, a lot. Should we have another, mine's almost out. But you have to drive, so maybe not."

"Don't worry about me, I burn off the alcohol almost as fast as I drink it. I need about 15 after my last sip to make sure I've got a clear head, so no worries. You working tomorrow?"

"8 am," Bella held up only three fingers for some reason. Oh yeah, she forgot about her other hand.

"So sure, one more shouldn't hurt too much," and she motioned to Mason again.

He nodded his head.

"Leah, does anybody dance in here?"

"Um...not usually. Why? Do you dance?"

Leah was so funny. God, Bella could not get over how funny she was and how much she wanted to laugh around her. "No, I can't dance, but comere, I've got I secret," Bella wiggled her finger quickly in Leah's face so she would come in closer. "I wish I could dance." Mason soon placed another round of drinks on the bar, he frowned at Leah, but she merely waved him off.

Leah looked around and shook her head, "Nah, now is not the time to learn, but have you ever played darts?"

"Nope, it looks fun and my butt hurts sitting here." She slid off her seat almost missing the floor. It seemed to have disappeared for a second.

She giggled again.

Leah held her arm, "You okay? Maybe you're too much of a lightweight and shouldn't have that last one."

"No, honestly, I feel fine just really warm, which is good. I'm way too cold all the time." She spun herself in a circle a few times with her arms stretched out. She stopped as soon as she felt dizzy. That time Leah joined her in a new round of giggles.

Leah told her to keep her drink in plain sight at all times, there was a small table right next to the dart board so they sat them there. Bella observed as Leah started a round. The boards were electronic, so they automatically kept the score. Bella was jealous, shed never beat Leah. Her aim was deadly accurate. She sipped on her drink which still was so refreshing. She liked to lick the salt of the sides and take a big gulp, then Leah told her to try and bite on her lime wedge afterwards to finish it off. She said next time she'd be ready for shots but not tonight.

"Okay, Swan, you're up."

Bella wiggled out of her seat again. Leah showed her where to stand. She took the dart in her hands and threw it. She totally missed by a mile. She sucked. She grabbed another and just before tossing it, turned around to get a pointer from her friend. Some big guy had came out of nowhere and Bella almost stabbed him in his beer belly. He looked pretty dingy, like he didn't bathe everyday. He actually wasn't too old, but Bella thought his lifestyle claimed his looks long ago.

"Watch it lil girl, before you hurt someone," he said as he spun her back around. He smelled of cheap beer and cigarettes. For some reason he hadn't let go of her, she wasn't quite sure where, but he was touching her. "Here, let me help you out a bit." Bella wanted to open her mouth and tell him no thanks but her tongue felt enlarged and she felt like she couldn't form the words.

Leah spoke up loud and clear, she never had problems enunciating her words. "Hands off, dickwad, unless you want to lose them."

The guy held his hands up like he was going to surrender to Leah, but when he stepped in closer his attitude changed. "Whose going to make me? You? What are you even, you don't look like much to me...just a Indian bitch with a big mouth." She grabbed him and shoved him into the wall before Bella could even register what was happening.

"More bitch than you think..." Bella couldn't see what she was doing exactly but drunk, sweaty guy turned white as a sheet and jerked away from her. He stumbled across the room, said something to his buddies and the three of them got the hell out of there before she could even get back to her seat.

She really had to sit back down, no more darts for her. The room was spinning counterclockwise at the moment and she needed a drink to cool off. "How'd you do that? You scared the shit out of that guy. He was all threatening at first and then he ran off like frightened child."

"Look closely," Bella bent her head down and stared at Leah's eyes, which transformed in front of her face. They became incredibly dark almost like the entire pupil had enlarged. Colored yellow streaks ran throughout, they weren't human and then a second later, they were.

"Leah? Should you do that? What if he tells someone?"

"Please, that guy won't even know he was here tonight when he wakes up in the morning. And you, I'm supposed to be training you to stand up for yourself. Why'd you let him grab all over your ass?"

She shook her head, "My ass? No, he didn't do that. I would've known."

"Trust me, he did and I think that means we should leave, it's almost 11."

Bella figured she was right, she had to be up early. When they got ready to leave, Bella felt it again, the room was spinning. She didn't feel so good.

She looked at Leah, "Shit...I know that look, hurry...run. I'm right behind you."

Bella ran as fast as she could to the bathroom, she barely made it in front of a toilet before the contents of her stomach started to emerge. Leah held her hair and she stood there a good five minutes like it was never going to stop. The rest of the time in there was a blur, but Leah was taking care of her. Before Bella knew what was going on they were back in Leah's car and on the road back to Forks. "Tell me if you need to hurl, understand?"

Bella shook her head and let it fall back to the seat. About ten minutes later, she yelled, "Stop!" It happened again, but she spared the car.

Leah wiped her face off with some tissue and looked at her phone while they were pulled over. "Let me see your phone, Bella." she pointed to it, "Shit...just close your eyes and I'll carry you in when we get there. It seems I've angered a couple of people, so expect company when we get to Charlie's. It's none of their business, so you don't have to say anything to them. Okay?" She shook her head, but didn't answer.

Bella had no idea what she was talking about, she only wanted to close her eyes and rest. She was hoping they landed soon, because she was tired of feeling like she was flying. It was really doing a number on her stomach and then everything faded to black.

Bella felt something cool against her cheek. She barely opened her eyes as Leah slowed down. She figured out what was on her face, she was pressed against the window and she sort of made out some shadows sitting on Charlie's porch. She was too exhausted, she closed her eyes again and stayed in the same position.

"What in the blue fuck, Leah? She's wasted!" Bella recognized that booming voice as it approached the car.

She felt like she was slowing coming back to life after hearing Jake shout at Leah. What was he even do there? Hadn't she told him to stay away for now?

"Leah, what did I tell you?" Seth's voice was the next sound she heard.

Seth too! Those two never listened to a damn thing she said. Her eyes finally could focus and she looked at each one of them separately. Aww, they were so cute and she had missed them even if it had only been three days. She felt her skin heat up again, like before when she drank at The Dive. Why couldn't she just have both of them? People did that, didn't they? There was a word for it, but her mind was so scattered, she couldn't remember what it was called. She suddenly felt empowered, so she opened up the door all the way and pushed herself out of the car. Leah's hand reached out to steady her, "Whoa there, chica."

"I'm fine...I'm fine," she bounced her flattened palms out to her sides to show she was steady enough to walk. Jake came up on her right and Seth on her left. Just what she'd been thinking about, she reached for both of them. She simultaneously pulled both of them closer. For the first time, it felt like both of them were embracing her at the same time. She was overwhelmed, it was a whole lot of man at once, but she opened her mouth to reassure them, "I missed you both, but why are you yelling at my friend? We had fun tonight, didn't we Lee?"

Jacob started barking out orders, "Seth...you deal with your sister, Charlie, I'm taking Bella and putting her to bed. Sorry, we kept you up, she'll be fine after she sleeps it off."

Oh, Dad was out here too, she wasn't sure she had spotted him before, "Thanks Jake, you," a finger pointed in her face, "young lady, have work in the morning. I expect you to be up when I am, good night."

"Come on, Bells," her feet were swept out from under her and she was pressed against a familiar chest that she instantly burrowed into. He wasn't very easy with her, he bounced her up and down climbing the stairs and plopped her in front of the sink in the bathroom. She glanced up in the mirror, but ducked her head back down after what she saw...scary. "Here," he shoved a toothbrush in her hand, "brush, you smell like vomit."

Jacob turned on the water and wet a washrag. He cleaned her face after she brushed. "Do you need to pee?"

She had enough of her wits to refuse help with that task, "Go, Jake. I can do it myself." She managed to go and wash her hands, but she discarded her jeans on the bathroom floor before heading back in her room. He was in there, she thought he knew she meant leave altogether, but he stayed.

Jacob's eyes did a double take as they noticed her missing attire. "Why are you in my room?" She squealed.

"I wanted to make sure you got in bed okay." She frowned wondering how many girls he might of said that to. "What? I'm serious, I didn't want you falling face down on the floor. Come on, I'll get you some pajamas. Which drawer?"

She pointed to the top middle one. Her feet didn't feel like holding her up any longer so she flopped down on the bed and fell to her back. She didn't even care that her shirt wasn't covering her panties.

"I see you kept it...you want my t-shirt?"

"Fine, but turn off the lights. It's burning my eyes." He threw the shirt at her, turned off the overhead light, and shut the door. Her eyes were still squeezed shut, but she heard the click of the door. She pushed up on her elbows and pulled her shirt over her head. Her modesty had disappeared somewhere between the bar and her bedroom door. She just wanted to close her eyes and sleep, maybe then her head would finally stop hurting.

"Jeezus, woman...what are you doing?"

"I'm changing, I told you to go already, so I'm pretending you're not here. What's the big deal, you've already seen, right?"

"Bells, that was an emergency. Stop right now, don't do it." Her hands were reaching around her back to undo her bra. Too late, the clasp popped open. Suddenly, his shirt was being pulled over her head and down her torso before the bra fell at her waist.

"Jake, are you mad at me?"

"No, not exactly...I just don't like to think about you out in a bar, drunk. I'm not quite sure why you did it?"

"Are you mad a Leah?"

"Hell yes, she knows better."

"She took care of me, Jake. There was this creepy guy that grabbed my ass why we were playing darts, even though I didn't know it and Leah showed him her wolf eyes. It was awesome. She is such a bad ass. I'm so jealous of her."

A growl escaped his lips. "You aren't improving my opinions of her at the moment."

"Why? I told you she took care of me."

"I don't like hearing about you being groped, that's exactly why I didn't want you to go out alone."

Too much talking, Bella drifted off again. She felt around and realized she was under her covers with her head resting on the pillow. She hadn't remembered climbing in bed. Jacob must have left, the lamp was off and it was totally dark in her room. She wanted to close her eyes again, but then she felt movement on the side of the bed. Her eyes must already be closed, she was definitely in a dream, one of those recurring ones. He brushed the hair off her cheek. She leaned into his palm. She didn't need to see, she only wanted to feel. Her hand went up to his head so that she could run her fingers through the thick, silky hair on his head.

Her voice sounded like a stranger's, all rough and scratchy, but she spoke to her dream man, "What kinds of naughty things are you doing to do to me tonight?" She pulled his shoulders down so he would almost be on top of her. Heavy, her mind thought. He usually didn't feel that heavy in her dreams. She clung to his shoulder tighter and she felt his hot breath on her neck.

"Sleep Bells, the next time I climb under the covers with you, you won't be hypothermic or drunk and 'naughty' is too tame a word for what I plan on doing with you." Soft lips pressed on her forehead.

Real, her conscience told her. She sat straight up in the bed, but she was alone. Her head turned side to side to inspect her room. She fell back again. No, she was hallucinating, her eyes closed again just as she heard it. A motorcycle engine roared to life and then faded off into the distance.

_**~Thanks so much for reading.**_


	14. Chapter 14

**_~A/N Thanks for the responses with the last update. Hopefully, this week I can update more frequently again, but I'm not swearing to it. Sometimes I get frustrated thinking readers want a perfect Bella who always makes the right choices, but I can't do that. This isn't what this story is about. I warned you in the beginning, there is much angst to follow and I'm just getting started. (LOL!) It's challenging to write it, but this is how it's going to go. I love that you all read, even if you scream at me to give Bella a backbone. These characters are all wonderfully flawed, even sweet Seth; I hope you continue to enjoy the ride no matter how messy it gets. _**

**_Copyright disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer is the sole owner of Twilight and all recognizable characters, I own nothing!_**

Chapter 13

Pounding...explosions going off in Bella's head. It wouldn't stop, no matter how hard she willed her mind to block the banging. She started to come around when the voice accompanied the noise. "Bells," more rattling on the door, "Isabella Marie Swan, time to get up. Do you hear me?"

"Ugh, Dad," she whispered to herself. "I'm calling in sick, it's fine, you can go Dad." She spoke up so he could hear her through the door.

He opened the bedroom door with force after hearing her response. "Nope, you're not sick...get up Bella."

"What? I can't, Dad...I can barely move."

"No! I don't care how old you are, you're going to listen. I've never missed a day of work because I over-indulged the day before. You'll do the same. It'll build character."

"Dad, please stop yelling at me, I'm sorry okay. I swear I'll never drink again."

"Bells, I haven't raise my voice once, but if you don't get up I will. Come on, I've got something for you downstairs. It'll coat your stomach. Hop in the shower, and wake up. You'll thank me for this one day."

He walked out the door after that last statement, and she highly doubted she would ever thank him for this. She was obedient and did as her father had instructed. She practically crawled into the shower, but at least it did make her feel somewhat human again.

Charlie had two pieces of toast on the table for her as well as a large water bottle, two pills and a small glass of red liquid. "Slowly eat the toast, wash the pills down with the water and sip on it all day. This," he held up the red concoction, one gulp," he handed it to her.

"What is it? If it's tomato juice, no thanks. That's too acidic."

"It's tomato juice plus...drink it," he said.

Again, she did as he said, because she didn't want to hear anymore talking. She couldn't figure out what the "plus" was, but it burned like hell all the way down. After she managed one slice of toast, she announced she was ready to go. Charlie insisted on driving her, which was a relief. She said she'd get a ride home.

The day at school wasn't too bad. She was in a fog, and Kate didn't push for details. She even let her nap on their off period. She had planned on asking Kate for a ride, but Leah texted her and said she'd be there. Bella walked out of the school wearing shades despite the clouds above. Leah was smiling at her which was reassuring. She had worried about her several times since they were forcibly separated the night before. She knew Leah would hold her own, but she also knew she didn't deserve Jacob's or Seth's wrath.

"Not bad, Swan. I have to give you props for actually showing up to work. I never would have believed it after seeing you in my car."

"Dad forced me, said it would build character."

"That's pretty damn funny," she laughed. "Charlie Swan, I swear that guy's an enigma."

Bella shook her head in agreement and climbed in Leah's car.

"By the way, sorry. I shouldn't have pushed."

"No, it was my choice. From what I can remember, I had fun," Bella reassured Leah.

Bella asked Leah to come inside so they could talk a little more. She finally was hungry, so she made them both a sandwich. "They weren't too tough on you, were they?"

"They were a pain in the ass, but it wasn't like they hurt me. In fact, I'd rather have my ass kicked than getting a lecture from Seth, Jacob, and Mom, even she chimed in."

"Oh, I think said something embarrassing to Jake."

"Who cares, you were drunk. He didn't pay attention probably."

She thought back to what she thought she'd said and if her hazy memory served her well, he definitely was paying attention.

"You've got a serious problem with Jake," Leah said.

"Why?" Bella choked a little on her sandwich. Other than the obvious problem with Jacob, Bella wasn't sure where she was headed with that statement.

"I hadn't seen him in action, but last night it was obvious. He fucking thinks he owns you. Even Charlie, took orders from him."

"I'm sure he doesn't think that, Leah. He certainly doesn't own me."

"Well, Seth was beyond pissed. I figured out pretty quick most of his anger he projected on me was due to Jacob. He was about to go inside with you two, but changed his mind. He didn't want to keep disturbing Charlie. If he went up there, he figured they'd fight again."

Bella intended to call Seth later. She definitely thought he'd overreacted, but it must have been difficult for him to see Jacob carry her off to bed. That wasn't fair. Jacob pretty much did what he wanted. She didn't think fairness was a concern to him.

Leah pulled her from her thoughts, "Do you want me to help set up a meeting with Kelsee? I didn't know if you're still trying to avoid Jake and Seth."

Bella inadvertently rubbed her arm. "Um, let me think about it a little more."

She stretched out on the sofa after Leah left. She planned on a quick and easy dinner for her and Charlie, so she thought she could grab an hour nap. If she went up to her bed, she might not want to get back up before the morning. Her night with Charlie was semi-awkward, but he didn't lecture her. When they both turned in to their respective rooms, she decided to touch base with Seth.

"Bella."

"Hey Seth, I just wanted to let you know I'm fine. I didn't feel too fine early this morning, but I'm almost back to normal now. I'm sorry I worried you. I was really stupid, but please leave Leah alone. I like her, she didn't mean any harm."

He told her he had it out with her last night and he would drop it as long as it never happened again.

"So has Jacob calmed down? I'm sure you called him first, right?" he asked with annoyance.

She could easily understand why he'd drawn that conclusion, "No, I don't know anything about that. I didn't call him, Seth."

He huffed into his phone, perhaps he didn't believe her.

"I'm sorry, Seth. What more can I say?"

He didn't seem too interested in carrying on the conversation. Seth had already made his views on Kelsee known, but she wanted to be honest with him. "I think I'm going to try and see that woman, " she paused and then added, "with Leah." That might make it easier for him to hear.

"I'll go to if you want," his voice sounded more like normal.

She still wasn't sure, "I'll let you know. I need to get some sleep, so I guess we'll talk later."

"Wait...one second, Bella. I'm sorry I've been acting like a jerk. I want you to know I'm really going to do what I promised. I'm going to give you space. I've gotten some new supplies for the house, so I'm going to be over there a lot more. Maybe you would like to come by after I make some progress."

"Sure, I'd like that...thanks, Seth. Goodnight."

Bella pulled the quilted, purple book out from the nightstand. She wrote a few things down. So many of those pages were filled with thoughts of Edward. It was time to add some of her more current moods and feelings. No one would ever see the pages, but her, so she wrote exactly what was going through her mind. The rest of the week went by at a snail's pace. If it wasn't for school, she would have been bored senseless. Now that she wasn't seeing Seth or spending time with Jake, she felt quiet lonely. Charlie benefited from some pretty elaborate dinners and she finally called and had a long talk with Renee. Her mom couldn't believe the things Bella had been keeping to herself.

"Honey, this doesn't sound like you at all. I think, if your Dad is better, you should come home. Phil knows the principal at the other elementary school near us. I know he could put in a word or two and you could get a job. Thanksgiving is next week, you could come for the holidays and stay permanently."

If she was completely honest, the thought had crossed her mind at least a hundred times, but something kept her from doing what Renee wanted. Deep down, she knew she couldn't leave. Maybe she didn't want to abandon Charlie, she loved her job, and she knew she could probably have a teaching position the next year. She was well liked at the school. Of course, there was Seth and Jacob, she was missing them after only a few days. Could she ultimately push both of them out of her life for good?

Instead of running out on her Dad for the holidays, she decided to make a nice one for them both. She contacted Kim to go shopping with her. She figured if Kim enjoyed making things, she would know the best places to shop for decorations and holiday decor. Kim was very excited to hear from her. They planned a shopping trip the first of the week, since Bella would be on a break from work. She told Charlie to invite whoever he wanted for Thanksgiving dinner. He felt bad for one of his deputies that had recently gone through a divorce and he wanted to have the Clearwater's if it wasn't awkward for her. She said "no". He was welcome to invite them and she also took the initiative to invite Billy Black.

Before Bella went to sleep Friday night, Leah sent her a message and asked if Saturday evening would work out for her. Kelsee wanted to see her at dusk for some reason. She chewed on her lip for a few more minutes before replying okay. She told her it wasn't necessary for her to pick her up. She wanted to take a drive out to La Push herself, maybe take a walk on the beach and clear her head before seeing Kelsee. She had no idea what to expect. She let Leah know she would meet her at her house at 5.

"Can Seth come or do you want me to tell him 'no way'?"

"Yes, he can come." She needed the support, and Seth did have a calming nature. Although, their recent encounters hadn't been so peaceful.

Bella decided to leave about 3 o'clock. She told Charlie she and Leah were going to hang out which prompted a very suspicious look.

He cocked up one eyebrow. "I'm not going to get woken up again, by a couple of raving lunatics, am I?"

"Of course not, Dad. We are going to stay in, absolutely no drinking. Dr. Thompson was less than pleased about that. She told me Thursday, my meds have warning labels for a reason, so I swear, I'm a responsible adult now."

Bella grabbed her jacket and a book she was currently reading. She drove out to La Push on another cloudy day. It was starting to get colder, but she really wanted to be outside for awhile. She missed Florida for that reason, sitting outside or walking on the beach was almost always an option for her there, no matter what time of year.

She hadn't felt so relaxed in weeks. She was deeply emerged in a novel when he approached. He sat down next to her before she even realized he was there on the beach. "Hey,"

"Hey, Jake, what are you doing?" she turned to look at him sitting there.

"I wanted to see you, is that okay?"

"Um...I'm going to the Clearwater's in a little bit." She waited to see his response but there was none. "Jake, Leah and Seth are taking me to Kelsee's."

"I know."

"You do? How? Nevermind...it doesn't matter. I'm going to see what she has to say. That's what you wanted, right?"

"Yeah, but I wish you would've asked me. I wanted to go with you," the disappointment was evident in his voice.

"What difference does it make?"

He shrugged, and looked out to the water, seemingly ignoring her.

She didn't know what else to do, so she continued to read. There was at least 45 minutes til she was supposed to meet Leah. However, if she got up and left Jacob on the beach, Leah wouldn't have minded her being early. It was exactly what she should do, there was no point to her sitting in silence on the beach with Jake.

Finally, he broke the silence, "Take a walk with me." There was no would or could, it was simply stated.

"No, I don't think so. How'd you even know I was here?"

"Really Bells?"

Leah's words replayed her head, "He thinks he owns you."

She had adamantly denied it, said it wasn't true, but there she was stuffing her book down into her bag and walking alongside him, following him wherever he intended them to go.

They walked side by side without touching or speaking. She wasn't quite sure the point of the walk at all. There were plenty of things that needed to be said, but she wasn't brave enough to say them out loud. Jacob was a mess, he was as taken as any man could be, but she had missed him. Why couldn't they go back to the day he first took her to the cliffs? It was so easy between them then. She fully trusted him that day.

"I don't want to go too far from where I parked. I have to walk back soon."

"Go that way," he pointed to a path away from the beach.

They had been out in the open which probably wasn't the wisest decision. Nadia probably had spies all over the area. She wasn't sure which was worse, being out in the open or somewhere secluded with him, and she would soon find out the answer. They followed a path which led them to a small stream. It was close to the river that ran along the reservation. Jacob took advantage of the privacy and moved in closer.

She still couldn't get over how it always affected her and she had realized after the big reveal, he knew. That was the root of her problem, she couldn't deny what she felt for him when they were alone.

Jacob reached for her hand and she didn't pull back. One side of his mouth tilted up. He was too sure of himself at times. "Bells, I've been trying. You know that, I've left you alone except for the drinking, right?"

She shook her head slightly, somewhere there was a "but" coming. Leaving her alone and giving her space were her requests. He had not wanted that, nor had Seth. Jake had behaved. After he left her in bed, he hadn't called, texted or stopped by. Well, she couldn't be sure about stopping by. She was now unsure how often he might be lurking in the woods as a wolf behind her house.

"It's for the best right now, Jake. I need to get my head on straight."

"So, you've had a good week?" He asked. She had never said that and if she had to rate it honestly, it pretty much sucked. She was bored and lonely and nowhere closer to decoding her true feelings. She missed them both at different times and sometimes at the same time. It wouldn't be right to admit that and because of Jake's keen insight, she didn't need to, "You missed me?" He asked like he already knew the answer.

She let go of his hand and walked a couple of steps away from him. He knew, but her face had it written all over it and she didn't want him to see. Both of his hands pulled at her waist. That was the second she needed to break free and head back to the truck. It was the position that had gotten her into trouble before. His head came to rest on her shoulder, "Please, Bells...this week was torture for me."

He moved his head side to side like he was burrowing deeper into her neck. He kept his lips off of her. He did not play fair at all. By not touching them to her, he made her crave them desperately. He knew exactly what he was doing, but she didn't or she would've been stronger. She turned around and faced him, she was an idiot. That was the only explanation that made sense. He wasn't hers, never could be. Being the other woman, was one of the lowest stations in society. She deserved better for herself, even with her self-esteem, she knew that much. All those thoughts played through her mind, but she worked against herself, because the whole time the internal debate played on, she was pulling him closer. Her hands had reached up to pull at his neck. He leaned in closer a millimeter at a time, still giving her a chance to back down. She didn't, so he proceeded. They were kissing again, just like the morning in the kitchen. Bella had incorrectly imagined it would be their last kiss. Of course, it wasn't and neither was this; she could admit that to herself after feeling the way he owned her mouth. When his tongue slid against hers, she couldn't fathom they would ever have a last kiss.

She clung tightly to his shoulders until he hoisted her up. They were moving, he walked with her but never released her mouth. She took a breath when she needed it. Bella didn't know if there was anything that could stop them. He had sat down on something, her knees found the surface they were on. She raised up on them on either side of Jacob's legs. His hands found their way to her ass and he pulled her in closer. His strong fingers kneaded her flesh and she moaned with the sensations he was producing.

She might not have ever planned on leaving his lap, but he pulled his lips away long enough to whisper, "Bells..."

The pause in their kissing was just enough to bring her back down to earth. She was panting, staring into his eyes and she realized that she was most likely late. The walk was supposed to only be a few minutes, but she had no idea how long they'd kissed. Judging from the way her lips had gone numb, it had been awhile.

"Don't," he admonished her before she'd replied.

"What?" she hadn't pulled away, she was still straddled in his lap with her fingers in his hair.

"Don't start regretting it, something is going on in that head of yours Bells. We need to be honest with one another."

Finally, her mind took over again, and she started to wiggle free. She left his lap and moved to his side. "Jacob, I have to go."

"I know."

"This doesn't change anything," it was a lie she told herself and Jacob.

"Really, Bells? That's your response. Yes, it does. You want me just as much as I want you."

"But..." she was speechless, anything that came out of her mouth would be wrong. She couldn't tell him, she didn't want him. She did...so much. It would have been extremely inappropriate to admit that.

"Go see Kelsee, see what she can do for you, and when you get back to Charlie's, put the key out for me."

"No, Jacob. I don't think that's wise."

"Do it, please. I want to hear about your experience with Kelsee."

"I'll send you a text."

He looked completely put out with that response. "Put the damn key back out there. Even if you don't, I can get in. Why are you trying to make it harder on me?"

"Because you have no business coming in late at night after Charlie's in bed. Isn't it obvious, Jake, we can't be trusted alone."

That arrogant bastard was smiling. She knew she should've kept her mouth shut. He'd never forget she'd said that. "Bye Jake, I've got to go." She got up and started walking the path again. She yelled back, "Don't come over, I'm not leaving the key."

"Left side above the door, same as always, I'll wait til he's asleep."

"I'm not leaving it," she screamed out before disappearing from his sight.

"Yes you will," he called back.

She had made up her mind, there was no way she was leaving that key for him and even if he did have other ways of getting inside; she was sure that when he got there and realized she didn't leave him a key, he'd leave her alone.

Bella made it to the Clearwater's twenty minutes late. Seth swung open the door before she knocked. She took a couple of steps backwards, he'd smell Jake on her. She had an epiphany after finding out about the wolves. The day he asked her to change her shirt, they had only cuddled that day. Would Seth know, she'd been sucking his tongue into her mouth ten minutes before? She had to at least admit, she'd ran into Jacob or he'd know she was lying. Seeing Seth and his sincere face, pulled at her heartstrings. He was a special man, she'd enjoyed their short time together so much. Being with him was definitely good for her, she felt like both men had a hold of her arms and were ripping her in two halves. If Jacob was bad for her, she was most definitely bad for Seth, but round and round the three of them still went.

"Um, sorry I'm late...I ran into Jake. He wanted to know about going to Kelsee's."

"He's not going too, is he?" Seth complained.

"No, no, he wanted to, but I told him you and Leah had it covered. Is she ready?"

Leah came out onto the porch and gave her a strange look. She ran her eyes up and down Bella's form. It made her extremely uncomfortable. "More than you."

"Huh?" Bella didn't get it.

"It seems like I'm more ready than you. You're late."

"I'm sorry, I...I"

Seth answered for her, "Jake held her up wanting some details about Kelsee," he looked at her, "right?"

His wording couldn't have been more unsettling. Her mind flashed to being lifted up by Jacob as he carried them to the log they sat on. She quickly whisked the memory away and told them they should get going. Bella insisted in following them alone in her truck. She figured being cooped up in Leah's small car was not in her best interest. They both shrugged and headed in their separate vehicles. Seth looked sad, he was probably wishing she would have invited him to ride with her. He didn't say a word about it though, since he was remaining completely true to his promise of giving her space.

Kelsee lived in a small house, more like shack which was surprisingly close to where Seth's house was. She'd remembered some of the roads. The three of them walked to door which appeared to be pieced together. Bella doubted it even kept out the elements. "Come in," a scratchy voice said on the other side of the flimsy door.

Leah nudged Bella ahead of them. There were all there for her, so it made sense she'd be the first one in. However, she had no idea what to say to Kelsee. How much had Jacob told her? She didn't want to blurt out, "Can you get this vampire venom out of my arm?" Weird, Bella hadn't given it much thought, but whose venom was it? Was it James's or Edward's or both? It seemed to her the logical answer was it was Edward's. He sucked out James's venom, but inadvertently left a trace of his own. What if it hadn't been an accident. Could he had done that on purpose for reasons unknown? She hoped to God this was not going to involve a sharp object or she might lose her nerve. Despite the many times she'd cut herself, she had always gone into some sort of a trance before, a mental separation with her body. She was fully aware of everything going on at the present time and she was not brave at all, in her opinion. This seemed like one of the scariest things she'd every encountered and she had run with vampires in her teens.

"Isabella, I've been waiting for you for a long time," her voice cracked.

A long time, Bella didn't think Jacob could have mentioned her more than a few months ago at most. Oh well, she was old, maybe she was confused. Great, she was about to experiment on her and she didn't have all her faculties. Leah had said that was the case, Seth swore she had to 100 when he realized she wasn't dead already. Bella swallowed a lump stuck in her throat. She needed to at least say something. "Hi, Kelsee, it's nice to meet you." She reached out her hand, but the bent over old woman pulled her into an embrace. She had two very long braids thrown over each shoulder. She was small, even shorter than Bella. Her face had deep crevices, wrinkles that went on for days. Bella thought her teeth looked quite nice and her eyes didn't appear to have faded in the least. It was strange to look at her closely, there was an unusual mixture of old and new in her. Bella noticed while she hugged her, she smelled earthy, not dirty and no artificial fragrances covered her skin. It was similar to the forest after a short rain, and she felt somewhat soothed by her after the hug. Bella was not touchy-feely, but she had relaxed ten fold in a matter of seconds. Seth was looking in every direction of the small room. It was obvious, he was nervous. That's all the house was, no separate bedrooms or kitchen. She didn't see how a restroom was possible unless it was carefully hidden.

"Okay, you two head out. Why don't you take a run for an hour. I'll need that long to assess Isabella." Leah seemed fine with that and started backing up towards the door.

Seth protested, "No, we'll stay if you don't mind to support Bella."

"That's kind of you son, but no we don't need you and to be truthful, I can't have any negative energy in the room if this is to work."

"Negative energy?" He rolled his eyes at Bella, where Kelsee couldn't see him. "Just because I'm concerned doesn't make me negative."

"Well, your concern is misplaced, and I still need you to leave. Tell them Isabella, tell your friends, you want to be healed."

Bella continued to listen to Kelsee call her Isabella. She was normally so quick to correct others, but she had no inkling to encourage her to call her Bella. She had barely said a word, she cleared her throat, and addressed Seth, "I'm fine Seth, I have my phone. Please get out and run. You look like you need it." She looked at Leah and communicated with her eyes.

"Come on bro, let's go. Bella's fine. She'll let us know if we are needed." Leah pulled at Seth's arm, but he jerked it back. He walked back to Bella, and rubbed down her arm.

"You sure?"

She shook her head and smiled to comfort him.

"I can be back in less than a minute," he gave a warning look to Kelsee.

"I know, it's fine, Seth. I'll see you in an hour."

Finally, he left with Leah. Kelsee held up her hand for a couple of minutes and they were both silent. "Alright sweetie, they're gone. That young Clearwater, he's pure at heart, but mighty stubborn, like his father. So much sadness for that lineage, I'm afraid." Kelsee looked deep in thought. Her bright eyes glazed over with tears. My goodness, she must have been really close to Harry if it brought forth that much emotion from her to mention him. Bella couldn't imagine why she said the family had a lot of sadness. As far as she knew, Harry was the only heartbreak they'd suffered in recent years. Of course, that was incredibly sad, she couldn't imagine losing Charlie at this stage in life. For some reason she felt a chill run up her spine, like something had just been alluded to, but she wasn't privy to the details.

Kelsee had reverted her mood back to jovial. Bella notice a kettle on the fire. She poured the contents out into a primitive mug. "First, you drink this, as hot as you can stand it and it will help to open the door."

Bella smelled the contents, it didn't have the most pleasant odor. It actually smelled awful, she wasn't about to ask what was in it, she didn't want to know. "It's pretty hot," she looked at the old woman.

"Here, let's try this while it cools. Give me the arm."

Bella pulled up her flannel sleeve and Kelsee placed one hand directly over the scar and the other underneath her arm. Her fingers completely ran around her arm and that's when she noticed. How? Bella couldn't understand. It was completely irrational. Kelsee was a very old woman, her face proved that, but when Bella saw those hands, she did a double take. She literally closed her eyes tightly and reopened them to have a better focus. Kelsee's hands looked like they could easily be the hands of someone her own age, someone in their early twenties, so eerily similar to her own. She looked at the hands and then into Kelsee's unusually bright eyes which were a bluish gray. Bella wondered how uncommon that color was for someone with Native American blood.

Kelsee spoke up, "Not everything has a rational explanation, you should know that by now, dear." She started to lightly rub on the bite mark. It didn't repulse her like the wolf touch did, but Bella's breathing picked up, something was going on. She felt strange, perhaps even light-headed and she still hadn't taken a sip of that tea yet. "It's there, we have to get it out. I can't do it all at once, but we can start today. You must focus Isabella. You must will it to leave. There," she pointed to the mug, "Drink the tea, I know it's bitter, but get it down as fast as you can." Kelsee walked over to a second pot and pulled out strips of soaked fabric. They were steaming and stained dark. Bella downed the hot drink as fast as she could. She was afraid she was going to gag and it would come back up, but her stomach surprisingly held it down.

"It's going to be hot, but I promise it won't burn your skin." She wrapped the cloths around the scar a strip at a time. She lost count of the number of layers, because she suddenly felt dizzy.

Shit...Bella felt like she was slipping away. That nasty tea was laced with a drug. She felt herself tense up like she should fight it in case it knocked her out and she never woke up. "Shh. Don't resist, come over to the cot and lie down. All you have to do is rest and remember what I said, will it to leave your body."

Bella focused on her words as she was prone on the cot covered in animal skins. Her body went through every temperature change possibly. She went from icy cold to fiery hot like she burning alive, but she did what she was supposed to. She said in her mind, "Leave...leave you filthy poison. I don't want you, you don't belong inside me." She manage to say the phrase at least three times before she emerged into total darkness.

"Dammit, she's still not waking up! What'd you give her?" Seth yelled. Seth and Leah were back, but it took a few more minutes before Bella could open her eyes to acknowledge them.

"Seth, chill look she's awake. Swan, you okay? How do you feel?" Leah shook her arm.

"I told you, trust me...Isabella is much better than when she first came through the door."

Bella was groggy but she once her eyes opened, she started coming around quickly. It wasn't like drinking alcohol at all. She sat herself up and Seth came to her side. She leaned on him a little while longer as they all listened to Kelsee's instructions.

"Maybe three more treatments," Kelsee patted Bella's shoulder.

"What? You intend to knock her out three more times? How do we know it's even working?" Seth asked.

Leah, Seth and Bella watched Kelsee pick up the roll of linens that had previously been on Bella's arm as she tossed them into the fire. A purple smoke escaped up the fireplace. It was slightly familiar to Bella. She'd seen that before, she thought. The rocking chair, maybe at the dance studio but she'd been out of it then.

"Mother fucker," slipped from Seth's mouth.

"Son of a bitch," was heard from Leah.

"What?' Bella was confused as to why they were so alarmed. "What did that mean?"

"It's vampire, Swan," Leah answered her. "It's what we see every time we light 'em up."

Bella had been a good test subject and very cooperative up until that point, but she was starting to panic, "Do it again," she pleaded with Kelsee. "Get it all out," she screeched. "I want it out, please get it all out of me."

Seth held onto her. He lifted her up into his lap and physically restrained her. She was hysterical. Kelsee got in her face. "Calm down Isabella, most of it's gone, trust me, but I can't do more today. I have to take it slow or I could send you into shock. Your body has grown accustomed to the venom for over fives years. I need you to get plenty of rest and drink lots of water tonight. Eat healthy and take care of yourself and come back next week, same time. It'll be easier each time. One of you drive her home," Kelsee instructed. Bella got a hold of herself after listening to Kelsee, since she swore most of it was gone.

"Seth, please. Will you drive me?"

"Of course, Bella. Can we go now?" he asked the old woman.

"Yes, it's fine. You all know where to reach me if she needs me before next week.

Seth picked up Bella and carried her to the truck. She snuggled against his warmth as they drove back to Charlie's. She finally said something, "Thanks for being there with me, Seth."

"Anytime, you know I'm always there for you, right?"

She did. That is what made it all so difficult. "I know and I'm forever grateful. I don't know what I'd do without you."

He hugged her close, "Do you want me to come in?"

She shook her head, "No, too many questions, Charlie thinks I was with Leah. I'm fine, I guess you'll run back?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, well, maybe you could come over tomorrow for football. Please? I want you to."

He was grinning ear to ear. "Definitely, that's the best news I've had all week."

Bella went inside and pretended everything was completely normal in front of her Dad. She had gone back on the porch and back inside a few times as she debated about something.

"Bells, you've got the damn jitters again. Are you sure your doctor has you on the right meds?"

"Yes, Dad."

"Well, you're petite, maybe she gives you too much."

"Dad, they know how tall I am and how much I weigh. My meds are fine."

"Alright, well I'm going to bed, you've exhausted me with all that pacing."

"Oh, Dad, football tomorrow. I invited Seth.""

"Woohooo," Charlie was excited. "Snacks?"

"Yes, Dad."

"The cheese dip?"

"Sure, I'll make the dip. Good night, Dad."

She gave him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek before he headed up the stairs. She double checked the kitchen to see if it was clean and she moved clothes from the washer to the dryer before she went up for a shower.

She'd tossed an turned almost two hours. She hadn't even climbed in between the sheets. It was freaking ridiculous, she'd told him she wasn't leaving it out. Hopefully, he'd finally gotten the message, and he wasn't going to show. Charlie's light had been out over an hour. Kelsee said she needed rest. She took one more gulp of water from the cup she had next to her bed and then turned on her stomach, so that she could finally fall asleep.

Click...her lamp flashed on. A very, cocky Jacob Black towered over her bed proudly displaying a silver key between his fingers. "Told you, you'd leave it out."

_**~Thanks so much for reading. I appreciate each and everyone of you.**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**Here it is...the story continues. Time for the angst and messy stuff to really kick into gear.**__  
_

Chapter 14

"Talk," Bella stated to wipe that smirk off his face. "That's the only reason, you're here. I just wanted to tell you about what happened."

"Okay, we'll talk, but first," he stalked to the bed til his legs were against the mattress. She leaned back to feel like she was further away, but instead, it made her more accessible. He dropped his hands at her sides virtually caging her in. "Bella, I've missed you so much." He stroked her cheek with his large palm and that was all it took. They ended up on the bed together, starting where they had left off earlier. She was right, they couldn't be trusted together. For the first time since all this started, she didn't care. It's what she wanted, and damn the consequence.

They kissed until she needed air and then Jacob went to her neck which felt amazing. She had never been in that position, with a man in between her legs. It sent a rush through her body every time he moved against her. She was throughly enjoying what he was doing to her body, but she needed to tell him something. It was all happening so fast, they were a tangled mess of limbs and Jacob's body heat. It was important she spoke up, before they went any further.

"Jake..."

He covered her mouth with his again, so she couldn't talk, but she nudged him off.

"Jake...I'm not ready."

He stopped and looked into her eyes. "I know honey, I wasn't going to try. We're just kissing."

"We're doing a little more than kissing, Jake," she looked down to her bare chest. They both had lost their shirts early on.

"Alright, you got me there, but I swear I wasn't going to take off my pants. They stay on til you tell me different. I'm not trying to rush us, I've just missed you so damn much, I got a little carried away."

She nuzzled against his chest after he rolled to his back. His fingers rubbed up and down her back.

"Say something, I'm starting to get worried. Do you want me to leave?"

"No, no Jake...not yet."

"Are you ready to talk about what happened at Kelsee's?"

Her answer did not come out verbally. She climbed onto his torso and straddled his pelvis. She kissed him slow and controlled, so he would know how much she meant it. He jerked into her and it hit in exactly the right spot. She made some noises that she couldn't believe were coming out of her mouth. He flipped them over and rocked into her a few more times. Was she really that turned on that it could happen even though they had their pants on? She didn't know for sure, but she swore that it was about to happen.

"Um Bells..." He was breathing heavily. "It's okay, don't be embarrassed. I want you to feel good."

"But I can't Jake, what about you?"

"Shh, it's okay honey," he whispered again to her.

She relaxed feeling him breathe against her skin. They went back to making out and even when his hand slid under her waistband, she didn't freak out. Actually, she encouraged it. She swore it barely took but a few flicks of his finger right in that spot and she fell over the cliff she'd been dangling off of for the past 20 minutes. He held his fingers there a little while longer and they continued to kiss until she felt completely sated.

"Damn Bells, that was so hot." He kissed her nose, and rubbed his chin on her cheek. He got up off the bed which greatly alarmed her.

"What? You're leaving? Are you seriously going to run out on me that quick?"

"No, give me a little credit, I need to go to the restroom okay or I'm never going to be able to concentrate on what you need to tell me."

"You can't Jake, my dad."

"Trust me if he didn't wake up with your sex noises, he's not going to wake up."

He left her room. Really, sex noises? Was she loud, she honestly didn't remember, she was so caught up in him. Before she had too much time to analyze what had happened, he walked back in. "Scoot," and she slid across the bed, so he could get next to her again. "You're still blushing, Bells."

"Oh, but its dark, how can you tell?"

"I just can, it's adorable."

She covered her cheeks, "I'm sorry."

"About what, that was amazing."

"Well, that you...um, that you had to," she paused.

"Jerk off," he laughed, "You can't even say it, can you?"

She shook her head, and he pulled he closer, stroking her hair as he held her.

She took a deep breath, and placed her hand back on his chest. "Jake, what are we?"

"I don't know Bells, people...we're human," she looked at him strangely. "I am, as far as feelings and emotions go," he added.

"What's wrong with me, I don't even feel guilty?"

"That's good, I wasn't expecting that," he leaned to kiss her forehead. "I'm not saying we're perfect, far from it. We're going to hurt people, most of all ourselves, if we continue, but I still want to be with you. If that makes me a selfish prick, then that is what I am."

She layed against his warm chest and started to explain the time she was at Kelsee's. He listened attentively. He tried to reach for her arm, but she pulled back, "Not yet, not til it's all gone, okay? It's still very tender."

"It sounds like I was right. I knew something was off. She's a trip, isn't she?"

"Jake there's more to her than meets the eye. Have you ever seen her hands?"

"No, I guess I didn't pay attention. She and I have only had some discussions. She has nothing for me yet that has been hands on, like you experienced."

"Jake, I swear she has the strangest hands, they're too young for her age. Please don't think I'm crazy, but they're not only young hands, they're carbon copies of mine." She held them up knowing he could see them in the dark.

"Bells, you said you were semi-conscious right? How could she have your hands, she's not originally from here? You're not Native American, Charlie said once there's not a trace even though his ancestors settled close to the reservation many years ago. It's not like she's your long lost grandmother or something."

"Well, how do you explain what I saw, and I noticed her hands before the tea."

"Pauwau," he whispered.

"You acted like Seth was exaggerating, that you didn't think she was a witch. Is that what she really is?"

"I don't know, but maybe there's some truth to it. I didn't want to worry you before."

"Well, I'm not scared of her, but I'm definitely interested in finding out more. No more lies, between us either. I want to know what you're thinking and I'll do the same. Deal? Even if the questions and answers are painful."

She knew he was already struggling with honesty. He had been in her bedroom for close to two hours, she knew he probably had to leave soon. That is why he had gone silent and pulled her in tighter. She decided to give him a reprieve. "Jake, I'm really tired now, so you should go."

"I can stay til you fall asleep," he offered.

"No, I'll be too distracted with you next to me."

He chuckled a little and she slapped his chest softly.

"Hey," he said in a serious tone, "I swear this isn't about getting off or the physical stuff. You mean so much more than that, you know that, right? I'm attracted to you in every way, but once we opened the door, it's hard to shut it back."

"Yes, Jake, I'm right there with your analogies." He picked the key off the nightstand.

"Where do you think you're going with that?" she asked.

"I'm putting it back."

"Jake, you cannot be coming over here late at night all the time. I work, you know."

"I won't and feel free to tell me 'no' anytime. I'll abide by your wishes."

"Like you did today?"

"Yes, you said you wouldn't put the key out, but you did. That's on you, honey, not me."

Ugh, he was infuriating at times, but she did put that key there going against everything she said she would do. She really didn't know why she'd done it. It wasn't purely a lapse in judgment or a moment of weakness, she wanted to see him again, needed it was more like it. She'd been in the care of mental health professionals for a long while and she'd learned a lot about psychology. Was it possible that she had an addictive personality? It was obvious to her now, she'd been addicted to Edward and the withdrawals she experienced after he abandoned her almost killed her. She didn't even think about Edward anymore. If he knocked on the door right now, she thought she'd probably feel nothing. It was evident, she would never be an alcoholic or a pill popper. She was a messy drunk and she really hated that she was on medication, she didn't like swallowing pills everyday. Was her addiction, unhealthy relationships? Is that even a thing? Leave it to her to create a whole new category for mental malfunctions.

He had been gone for a few minutes and she hated the reality. He left her bed to go to his own, the bed where Nadia waited for him. It disgusted her, and she should be disgusted with herself, but she wasn't. They had a connection, she knew what she was feeling was real and that she honestly loved him. Yes, it was wrong and unhealthy. Seth deserved better, so did she. She thought back to how excited they both had been when she invited him over again. She was beyond tired, so she needed to shut her brain down and deal with what was happening one day at a time. Maybe once she and Seth hung out again, she would have a clearer picture.

Watching football was fun, not exactly the game, but having Seth there and watching Charlie and Billy's interactions was always entertaining. She had caught herself more than once staring at his profile while he enjoyed the game. She loved the way his face lit up when a good play happened. It was a good day, she was going to ask to start spending time with him again. She had to keep a secret from him, but she decided she was going to do what she had to do to find happiness. He made her happy. Jacob made her crazy, but she had raging passion for him that she couldn't deny. No one had ever made her feel like Jake had. Everyone has secrets and anyone that claims they don't are liars, damn liars.

Seth was helping her clean the kitchen after Billy left. Seahawks lost at the end, and Charlie and Billy were both in mourning. The whole time, it appeared they had it in the bag, but the fourth quarter ended up being a shut out. Bella was learning quite a lot after all the Sunday football afternoons.

Seth bumped her from the side while they were drying, "I had fun, did you?"

"Lots, thanks."

"Whatcha thanking me for, Bella?"

"Um, I don't know...maybe just because we had fun and you didn't make it weird for me."

They finished the kitchen, Charlie took off with Billy to give him a ride home, so it was just the two of them. "Wanna sit on the couch and watch some regular show?"

"Sure, I'll get it started, where's the blanket?" Bella didn't really need a blanket next to Seth, but it was a ritual. She'd pull it up to her neck, he wiggle free of it, because it was too hot, but she'd keep putting it back over them so they could snuggle together.

"Oh it's in the dryer, let me grab it."

They spent the next hour and half watching three episodes, laughing and snuggling on the couch. She even relaxed enough to prop her feet in his lap and he rubbed her feet exactly the way she liked it. "I guess I should be going soon before Charlie comes back. I don't want to wear out my welcome."

"Seth, you're always welcome, I mean it. Is this too weird?"

"What Bella?"

"Can we start over? Is that even a possibility?"

"I'm willing if your are." He held her close, and she took deep breaths and savored the hug they shared. He rubbed up and down her back which comforted her even more. "Hey, how do you feel after yesterday? Was I too crazy?"

"No, you were just being concerned, but I think it went well. Thanks for calming me down. I know I was starting to have a panic attack. It was just too freaky to hear you and Leah describe burning vampires."

"No, I'd be freaked out if that was in me too. You had every right to be panicked. It kinda felt like an exorcism." She looked at him with wide eyes, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you again."

"No, I get it. Maybe it was similar, I don't know. I would have never thought those were real if you'd asked me a few years ago, but look at me now. I don't feel like I can question anything. Who knows what really exists out there. I know for a fact that Kelsee is a pow-wu."

"Pauwau, you mean," he laughed at her translation.

"Yeah, she is, but not like the kind that rides a broom. She fascinates me, I'm not afraid anymore."

"I'm glad, you don't ever have to be afraid of anything as long as I'm around." She knew that was true and they had a couple of more hugs before he left. She headed up for a shower and went to her room. There was a text from Jake.

**giving you a break tonight **

**miss u bells...so much**

That was the only way it was going to work, she'd have to block out the other one when she was with one of them. Eventually, she'd make her final decision. It'd end up being Seth, she was almost positive. She just had to get Jake out of her system and then she'd be ready for a real commitment. Plenty of young women went through a wild phase. She obviously skipped that since she sat inside and stared at the same four walls for almost five years straight. This was just her rebellion. Despite the fact she didn't feel very rebellious, that is what she was chalking it up as.

Kim met Bella Monday morning. My god that girl could shop, and she never quit talking, but despite all that; Bella had started to like her. She helped her with a some great deals at both the craft stores. She had a system with the 40% coupons, they got some great deals. Bella bought plenty of Thanksgiving decorations, but she also bought lots of Christmas stuff. Charlie's decorations were at the end of their better days when she lived with Charlie five years ago, she was going all out this year. They needed to feel festive for once.

When they got all that Bella felt like she needed, Kim suggested lunch. "Thanks, Kim, you helped a lot," she complimented her.

"You want a real tree, right?"

"Yes, do you know a good place to get one?"

"Actually, Paul knows a guy with a farm. I'll ask him for you."

Bella couldn't help it, she made a face at the mention of Paul's name.

Kim twirled her napkin around her finger and seemed nervous for some reason. When they were shopping, she had no issues making conversation with her. "Is there something else on your mind, Kim?"

"Well, I hope you don't mind me asking. I swear I'm not a gossip, but what exactly is going on?"

"I assume you mean with Seth and Jacob."

She nodded for confirmation. Bella didn't think she could divulge too much. She actually had no one that she could fully confide in. Some things had to be kept to oneself, like possibly falling in love with two men.

"Kim, I hope you don't mind, but I don't want to talk about it in detail. Seth and I are restarting our friendship. That's all I know for now."

"You're nice, Bella. I know Jacob is frustrated about his imprint. Nadia is never very nice to me even though we are supposedly in the same club," she held up her hands in air quotes.

"From what I hear, she isn't nice to anyone but Emily and Jessica Newton."

"Yeah, well, I know imprinting doesn't seem to be what the elders say it is, but I'm so grateful for it, Bella. Jared is a dream come true. I love him so much, and it's not forced, at least for me, it's not. Imprinting rescued me, my parents were extremely selfish and cruel. I don't know what I would've done if he and I weren't joined by the imprint. Do you honestly think he'd ever given me a second glance? I'm not a complete idiot like they all say behind my back. I know I'm nothing special. Jared's smart and handsome, and he has a lot going for him. He knows his Dad's business and he will always be successful even though he lost his scholarship."

Bella felt really bad to hear Kim put herself down. Maybe this was the one instance imprinting wasn't so bad. Even if it seemed to be benefiting the imprintee more than the wolf, like the legends stated. "Kim, after getting to know you, I can say with assurance, Jared is lucky to have you as a mate. I feel bad for the others, they weren't as fortunate."

Kim's face lit up, "Thanks, Bella, we're going to be great friends. I don't care anything about Nadia's threats. I'm not afraid of her. I've been bullied my whole life, so I can take care of myself."

"What a minute, Nadia threatened you? How? What exactly did she say?" That bitch was a psycho, Bella was developing a deeper understanding of just how obsessed she was with each passing day.

Kim told Bella about a phone call she'd received from Nadia two days after the bonfire. She invited her to coffee, which was completely out of ordinary. Nadia told her in no uncertain terms, Bella was an outsider. The counsel would soon ban her from the reservation and that Jake had deliberately disobeyed them by telling her the secret. She warned her there would be consequences for anyone that got mixed up with Bella.

"I told her you were nice, and we were friends. She called me a stupid bitch, but first she asked me a few questions. She wanted to know where you hung out with Jacob, had I ever seen you two together, stuff like that. I got mad and left and haven't heard from her since. I think she wanted me to spy on you. Don't worry, I would never do that; but that Jessica girl would if she had the chance.""

"Definitely, don't worry any niceties we've ever displayed were for show. Neither of us like each other. I'll steer clear of her."

"Bella, I'm not sure what the whole story is, but I'm not going to judge you. Most people can't control who they fall for, I just hope Seth doesn't get hurt. He really seems to like you, no one has ever seen Seth with a girlfriend. He's never trusted someone enough to want a relationship."

"I agree, Seth is one of a kind, and I would never want to hurt him. Jake is special too, and he doesn't deserve what has happened in his life. His pack is against him as is the counsel, maybe even his father and he has an imprint from hell. I was the first person to be a friend to him after all that, so I take the blame for all the complications that arose from it."

"You'll do the right thing, I'm sure of it. You're such a good person, no one else has ever been this nice to me."

Bella smiled, feeling pleased Kim thought that highly of her. Deep down guilt stirred because she wasn't exactly as good as Kim professed. She hoped she never disappointed her, but it would probably happen one day.

He was there that night unannounced, but she didn't mind since he'd stayed away Sunday. They spent half the time catching up and the rest of time doing other stuff. He couldn't stay more than an hour, but any little bit was enough to tide her over. Yep, she was using junkie lingo now, and it was the most honest she'd been with herself. She was quickly becoming addicted to his kisses, and his touches. Those dreams paled in comparison to what it really felt like to be trapped in the sheets with Jake.

Even though she had her work cut out for her getting Thanksgiving organized for seven people, she still managed to stay up an extra hour or two every other night with Jake. She'd always invite Seth over the next day after he visited. If she actually admitted that to anyone, they'd be fair to pass judgment on her. It was so wrong, but it was her reality now. That was how she was functioning, getting high on Jake at night and feeling grounded in the evenings with Seth at her side. He had yet to pursue a goodnight kiss again, but they were hugging a lot and snuggling and holding hands. He probably thought he was giving her plenty of space because Bella wasn't completely comfortable with intimacy. The fact was she'd progressed very quickly with Jacob after only a few nights and the last time he didn't even have to excuse himself to the bathroom. She actually blushed at the memory, it was very intense. She had once feared, she didn't have it in her to truly please a man, but she did. He left that night very pleased, despite the fact she was still holding out for full blown sex.

Thursday arrived, Charlie will so thrilled he kept coming in the kitchen to ask if she needed help, and to tell how proud he was for her doing this. The house was perfect. Charlie had found them a long table, Seth had moved some furniture around them the night before. Kim had come by as well and they decorated, ever place setting was out of a magazine perfect. They even made little name cards to go at each spot. She and Charlie, plus Billy, Sue, Seth and Leah. The deputy, Randy, was going to be a little late, but he was very pleased they'd invited him. His ex had taken the kids out of town and it would be his very first holiday alone. Seth said they'd pick up Billy and be there at 1:30.

Bella was shocked to hear someone bang on the door a little before one. Charlie was up getting a shower, she'd just had one after her last bit of cooking was done. She was all ready to see Seth. She had paid special attention to her looks, she was actually wearing a comfortable skirt for the occasion. Kim surprised her with it, she made it herself. It was very cute. She swung open the door to find none other than Paul Lahote leaning against the door frame, "Hey sweetheart, took you long enough, can I come in?"

All kinds of thoughts raced through her mind at once, but the first thing she could say was, "Why are you here?"

"Ouch, I thought we were friends. Sometimes, friends stop by unannounced."

"On Thanksgiving?"

He looked around the room, "Oh yeah, that's today, isn't it. To be honest, I don't keep up with all your pale face traditions. Y'all make a holiday out of anything just to have a day off from work."

"Has anyone ever told you, you're very offensive?"

He laughed, "All the time, just how I like it."

"So, to answer my question. Why are you here?"

He walked further into the living room. "Damn girl, it's like the first Thanksgiving threw up in here. Do you always decorate this much?"

"No, not that it's any of your business, but I'm trying something different."

He took a deep, exaggerated breath, "Well whatever you're trying, it smells good, damn good. Do you have extra?"

She couldn't believe this. He still hadn't told her why he was here. Seth would've warned her if he knew, she was sure of that. Who the hell invites themself to a family's holiday, especially when it so obvious she hated him.

"Oh yeah, you wanted to know what brought me by today."

"Yes?"

"Kim, it was Kim. She said you want a tree, so I'm here to offer my services to you. I'll give you a ride any day next week to my buddy's tree farm and you're going to get a deal." He raised his eyebrows twice when he said "ride", which made her want to respond with no thank you. She'd find her own tree. "He's taking you to the premium crop and giving you half off for being with me. Trust me, you'd pay close to a hundred for the kind of tree your going to get anyplace else and I'll carry it for you and help you set it up." He squeezed her arm a couple of times. "You don't seem too strong, so I'm guessing that's worth something, right?"

"Like what, do you want me to pay you or something?"

He was laying it on pretty thick. Bella expected plenty of women would drop their panties for him if they were on the receiving end of that kind of attention: the looks, the sexy voice, etc. She couldn't lie to herself, physically he was hot. She hated the tactics being used on her, felt like she needed another shower as soon as he left, if he ever left. He was still standing there. "I'll have Kim get in touch with you when we can go."

"Oh shit, she's not coming too, is she?"

"Yes, I'm not going alone with you."

He let out a frustrated breath, "Whatever, now you really owe me."

"Owe you what, Paul?" she couldn't help yelling at him.

"I'm about to go on patrol, so will you please save me a plate? Your food smells so amazing and no one's ever cooked a Thanksgiving meal for me, so will you? Dessert too? I know you made dessert. Did you make pie? I love piiieee." He drug the word out and made it sound dirty, of course.

"Fine, I can do that. I made a lot." Was he telling the truth, no one had ever made him a meal like this? She shook her head, before she had the chance to feel sorry for him.

"Swear it, okay. I'll run by around 7 and I'll have my appetite with me. Don't let Seth and Jake eat it all before I get mine."

"Oh, Jake won't be here." she corrected him, he had not been invited, "Only Billy, not Jacob. Don't worry, I'll set your food aside and hide it. Seth won't even know it's there. You really are getting me a good deal on the tree. Um, thanks, I guess."

He leaned over like he was going to offer a hug but she pulled back, not needing one from him. She walked him to the door, feeling relieved he was about to leave.

"Not sure what the story is but you're wrong, Jake's coming over, so get ready for that. I wish I could stay and watch the show, but I'm late for patrol, so see ya."

She pushed the door shut and looked down the long table that was perfectly set up. It could never be big enough. Paul had to be messing with her. Jake could not be on his way there, what the hell was he thinking? Why wasn't he with his imprint? She didn't invite him, he knew she was having the Clearwater's and Billy over, but he never mentioned once wanting to be here.

"Fuck," she whispered as she surveyed the set up once again.

"Whoa, there Bells, I think everything looks perfect. I never hear you talk like that. Why are you so stressed? This is going to be the best Thanksgiving in history. You've thought of everything. Relax," He guided her to the chair for her to sit down and rubbed her shoulders a little. "It's going to be perfect," he announced.

As soon as Charlie said the word "perfect" she replaced it with "a disaster" in her mind. All this week of pretending one didn't exist when she was with the other would come crashing down on her with them both sitting at the same table. He might think he could come over unannounced and pretend everything was normal, but if he thought he was getting a place card on the table, he certainly was not. That was the last incoherent thought she had before a knock was heard at the door.

_**~Thanks for reading.**_

_** Can't put a timetable on making them behave or start doing the right thing, sorry, more like sorrynotsorry; this is my tale. I don't condone it, I don't live like this; not even close, it's pure fiction. I love to hear from my readers and I appreciate you for sticking with me, if you can't then that's okay. Maybe one day you could check back in when the story is complete.** _


	16. Chapter 16

_**It was kind of stuck in my head to make this fic 25 chapters, but I don't know; I may have to go longer than that. **_

Chapter 15

Thank goodness, the knock was produced by Billy Black, not his son.

"Hey Bella, are we too early?" Billy asked with Seth and Sue standing behind him.

"No, everything's ready, come on in." Billy pushed his way in. Seth quickly made his way to her side and planted a kiss to her cheek.

"This looks so good, you really went all out."

"Oh Seth's right, Bella. The house looks great. I can't wait to see what you and Kim come up with for Christmas," Sue praised.

Bella looked beyond them to see if it was just the three of them.

"Leah's on the way in her own car," Seth added. "She was right behind us." Seth did some sort of sweep through the living room. Bella wasn't sure if it was a cop maneuver or a wolf thing. "Paul," he mouthed to her.

She shook her head. She headed to the kitchen and he followed. "He makes me uncomfortable."

"Why was he here?" Seth asked.

"He's helping me get a tree this week and he wants payment,"

Seth raised an eyebrow, "Be more specific. I don't like how that sounds."

"Food, he wants me to feed him tonight."

"Well, what'd you tell him?"

"I promised I would, his friend is giving me a deal on a tree."

"Just be careful, Bella...you know what they say about strays, once you feed 'em they're yours. After he tastes your cooking, he'll probably howl at the back door a few times a week."

"I don't like him," she confessed.

"That's going to make him want to hang around even more, you should pretend he doesn't bother you."

"I'll try, I guess. Wait til you get a load this," Bella uncovered a corner of the turkey so Seth could get a whiff of it.

"Yum, smells great. I can't wait to dig in. Are we waiting on Randy?"

"I think so, I also baked a ham and made all the traditional sides. I have four pies, because I couldn't decide which ones to make. I made apple, pecan, pumpkin and chocolate. Of course, I made whipped cream too. That's the best part. So this Randy, he's new? I didn't know him from before."

"Yeah, he's not much older than you. He got married young, had a couple of kids and then his wife gave him the 'we've grown apart speech'. He begged her to try once more, but she wouldn't. She got the house and he's renting a room over one of the businesses near the station. He's a good guy, very friendly. I think you'll like him. This will be good for him."

Leah made her entrance known a few seconds later. She held up a place card with her name, "Gee, thanks Swan, you never know when you might forget."

"Zip it Leah, Bella put a lot of detail into the table," he corrected her.

"I know, I didn't say it wasn't nice, but the names took it a smidge over the top. Do you mind if I rearrange the seating? I don't want to sit by Mom." Sue made a face at her daughter.

"Oh sure, Leah, I didn't have a concrete seating arrangement or anything. Maybe you'd be happier sitting next to Randy," she joked.

"Hell no, not him either. I don't date cops, so don't even try some sort of set up." Both Bella and Sue shrugged at that comment.

Seth put his arm around her and told his sister she could mix the names up however she wanted but he was sitting by Bella.

"So you two are back on? You didn't take much time to mull it over, you sure you're not rushing because mistakes could cost you?" She looked at Bella menacingly at first but then smiled like she was happy about it.

Deep within Bella's stomach churned, she was starting to feel sick. This day had a whole lot of added pressures now. She hoped he wasn't showing up. Seth asked what he could help with, so she had him carry in the turkey to the table. She had space for the turkey and the rolls on the table they were eating at. All the rest was going to go on the regular table in the kitchen. Another knock came at the door. Wishful thinking was it wasn't Jake, because he probably wouldn't even knock, if she thought about it.

Bella made her way to the door to face whatever, or whoever was on the other side. "Randy," she said loud enough so everyone would hear. "It's so nice you could join us, please come in. I'm Bella, Charlie's daughter." He shook her hand with a smile on his face.

"Charlie, um sir, I mean, you didn't tell me you had such a lovely daughter."

"Charlie's fine, we're off duty and yes, Bella is my best kept secret. She's smart, beautiful, kind and a helluva cook. You won't be disappointed."

"Dad," Bella ducked her head in embarrassment.

"I'm sure I won't," he added and call her crazy, there was something in his voice that alarmed her. No way, this guy cannot be trying to flirt with me. Is the ink on his divorce papers even dry? Maybe that's why his wife kicked him to the curb, he's a womanizer. Was Forks that desperate for women? She never got a second glance in Florida.

Seth must have heard it, because his arm slipped around Bella's waist when he greeted his colleague.

"Oh, is Bella your girl Seth? Sorry, I didn't know. You never mentioned it at work."

"That I'm seeing the boss's daughter, Randy. No I did not, because Bella and I, as well as Charlie are very private people, so I expect you'll respect that, huh buddy?"

"Oh, of course, hell yes," he looked at her again til she felt uncomfortable, and added, "Lucky guy Seth, You're really lucky."

"It's just a thing with him: loud, outgoing. I don' think he meant it, but if he comes close to you again, let me know and I'll hurt him."

"Seth, you can't do that. You're both cops who work for my Dad. It's fine," In reality it wasn't fine, she could very well be juggling Seth and Jake in a few minutes and a newly single guy that was giving her looks. This was all under her Daddy's roof with Leah watching every move she made for some reason. There was entirely too much going on at once and she hadn't carved the turkey yet.

Jacob was a no show, so she calmed down enough to get the serving under way. The dinner was great. All the men went for seconds, as did Leah. Bella got an array of compliments from everyone. She was glad she'd calmed down and let herself enjoy all her hard work. Seth squeezed her leg from time to time and whispered to her occasionally, which usually made her laugh. He had secret commentaries about pretty much everyone at the table. Leah heard the one he made about her and she kicked him hard under the table.

"You two knock it off. You aren't 12 any longer, these squabbles are childish. Sorry everyone, my children still have some growing up to do."

"Don't apologize for me, Mom. Tell your kid to quit talking shit about me. I could spill all his dirty laundry out on the table right now and I guarantee you'd all lose your Thanksgiving dinner."

"Leah," Sue sounded exasperated and Seth look mortified. Bella knew he was keeping some things from her, but she didn't care. She was definitely not in a position to judge because of the way she was currently carrying on. Leah was still one to watch. Bella felt they'd come a long way in building a friendship, but it was not wise to piss her off. She went for the jugular when she was provoked.

Bella quickly changed the subject with the announcement, "I made pie, lots of them. Does everyone want to take a break or have some now?"

The general consensus was everyone wanted to wait at least 30 minutes. Seth helped Bella start clearing the empty plates off the table. Billy reached for her hand when she started to pick up his plate. She paused and listened to what he had to say.

"Bella, I wanted you to know how much I appreciate you for inviting me. I swear I haven't had home cooking like this since my Sarah was alive."

"You're welcome, Billy. You know I love to cook and you're welcome over anytime to share a meal with us."

He gently pulled he down a little closer, so he could whisper to her. "I'm glad you're back. It means the world to your father, this is where you belong. No matter what happens, remember that, okay?"

She nodded her head.

"Don't forget that," he added.

Bella wondered what exactly was going on through Billy's mind. He seemed to truly care for her. She knew he loved his son and took his role as chief seriously. He sat on the very counsel that Jacob stood up against on a regular basis. She wondered what he really thought about imprinting, and if he approved of Nadia. It must all put him in a terrible position.

Seth came up behind her while she was scrapping leftover food off a plate into the trash. His arms slipped around her, and he whispered in her ear, "You did great." His hands had started to move a little up and down her sides. They were in the kitchen alone, she could hear everyone else talking at the table. He turned her around so he could look at her, "Bella, I think it's time we talked about some things."

"Oh god," she thought, had she been busted already? He was actually being very lovely, so it couldn't be that when she really thought about it.

"About me, about shit I use to do, the way I was. You have a right to know the truth."

"Seth, it's fine. We didn't know each other," she reassured him. She seriously didn't want to know the truth, because it would only highlight the fact that she was a devious liar. He was willing to reveal things to her that he was ashamed of just so they wouldn't have secrets between them. She saw how he was conflicted, so she rubbed up and down his back, and reassured him, "Tonight, when everyone leaves. If you need to tell me something, I'll listen but really it's not necessary."

He smiled and pulled her tighter, she thought it was the perfect chance to see what kissing him was like again. Maybe it would be enough to make her see the light and appreciate what she had standing before her. Seth bent down and she stretched upward til they just about met in the middle. "Am I interrupting something? Charlie said I should come get some food."

He ruined it. Seth released her and took a step back. She and Seth both had a look of surprise on their faces. He'd just shown up out of nowhere. She never heard a knock, because like she thought earlier, he'd probably strolled right in.

She didn't hide her annoyance in the least, "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to spend the day with my father, but he was here, so I had to come here if I wanted to see him. What?" she was glaring at him. "Did Seth and Leah already eat all the food or can I have some? Charlie invited me to join everyone."

"When? When did my father invite you? He would have told me that."

"When I walked in the door, Bella."

"Oh, well I still have lots of food, hold on and let me get a plate."

She pulled a plate out of the cabinet, but before she fixed it, she had more to say. "Where's Nadia? Why aren't you with her today?"

"Um, she had a family celebration thing in Sequim, not really Thanksgiving related. I gave everyone short shifts today and I have to pick up the slack and patrol, so I couldn't leave. Is that it or do you have more inquisitions?"

She glanced at Seth who was curiously observing them. She had no idea what he was thinking. She should really shut up and not draw attention to her and Jacob, but her mouth was out of control. "Family celebration, huh. Did someone get paroled or something?"

"Bella," Seth sounded as surprised as she was to have said that.

Jacob actually started laughing, "Um no, but close her sister got her divorce finalized. They all wanted to celebrate, he was an asshole or something. I don't know, I never met the guy."

"Oh, sisters' taste in men must run the same, I never knew if that was true or not."

Seth stepped in closer towards Jacob. She was alarmed, what was Seth getting ready to do? "Jake, man...you're bleeding."

Jacob wiped at his head. He was bleeding, she saw it on his fingers. "Can you hand me a paper towel, Bells?"

She walked over and grabbed one, "What happened?"

"I had a little accident this morning."

"It must have been a more than a little one, if you haven't healed up." Seth stated.

"I'll be fine, no biggie. The plate, Bella. Can I fix some food now?"

Seth's phone began to ring, he pulled it out of his pocket, "Oh, excuse me, Bella it's the station, I gotta take it." As soon as he stepped out the door, Jacob was pulling her to the far corner of the kitchen. He was facing the door so he would know when Seth was coming back in.

"I know you're really pissed at me, but it's damn sexy, Bells. Come here." He pulled her til she pressed up against him and he pinched her butt.

"Stop it, what do you think you're doing?" She shoved him as hard as she could but he didn't budge. "Leah, is in there," she mouthed.

"Then we'll be quite he whispered back at her." He leaned in, he was really going for it. He was going to take the chance and kiss her with Seth just outside the door and everyone else in the next room.

"No," she pushed him again and stomped his foot. It actually hurt her foot more than his. It felt like she stepped on a rock.

"Okay, okay...later," he backed off.

She quickly began to pile food on his plate. She handed it to him, "I gave you extra ham, because it seemed appropriate. Now go," she pointed to the other room. "That's where your Dad is and you came here for him, right?"

He smirked, "Later, Bells, we'll get together later."

No, they wouldn't. She'd already promised to have a serious talk with Seth tonight. She had no idea why Jacob was there trying to push her buttons. When they were alone in her room at night, he was always so tender and loving. "Anything you want, Bells. Do you want me here? I'll always abide by your wishes." In the light of day, he a cocky son of a bitch. She hated when he acted like that.

Seth came back inside. "Bad news."

"What happened?"

"I've got to run out to Lowry's."

"The logging company?"

"Yeah, it seems like someone tripped an alarm and no one can get the damn sliding door to budge to go in and check it out."

"But Wesley's on duty, why you?"

"He's on desk duty, that guy's a wimp, he could never open that door. Did you feed Jacob?"

"Um, yeah I made him a plate, he's with the others."

"Well, I guess the old adage 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' isn't true for you two."

"Huh?" was all she could say.

"Are ya'll going to be enemies now?" Enemies, Bella was her own worst enemy. She couldn't believe that is what he took from their display in the kitchen, but it was a relief he saw it that way.

"Come on, I need to speak to Charlie," he took her hand and led them back to the living room.

"Hey chief, Wesley just called."

"Yeah, I got a text."

"Look Seth, it sucks you're getting called away, but you know how Lowry is. We can't mess around with him, he's always looking for a reason to sue or raise hell about something. I doubt there's anyone else that can get that door unjammed."

"Jammed," Bella said.

"Yeah, it seems someone jammed something in the tracks, probably dumb kids messing around."

Bella's eyes traveled down the table to Jacob. His face was buried in his plate and he was pretending to ignore the whole conversation, but she knew he wasn't. Seth was going to have to leave, and she knew for damn sure he was paying attention to that fact. Something even gave her the impression, he might be involved, as shameless as that would have been, she wouldn't put it past him.

Bella walked on the porch with Seth. "I hate that you're going early. You haven't even had dessert," she stuck out her lip like a pouty child.

"I'll be back, Bella." He pushed her lip back in with his thumb,"I promise and save me one of each okay?"

"Sure, how long do you think it'll be?"

"Hopefully, not more than an hour or two. I'll have to drive out there, fix the door, check out everything and hope no one has been inside and vandalized or stolen anything or the old man going to keep me there wanting to file paperwork immediately. Let's just hope it was kids, a prank or something, because that will make it a quick trip.

"Okay, bye Seth hurry back."

She watched him drive away and then headed back inside to face Jacob yet again.

Leah was standing up, holding a piece of pie in her hand.

"Leah, why didn't you get a plate?" Sue asked her.

"Don't need it. Hey, Swan that was a great meal, but I'm meeting some people so I have to run. Well get together maybe next weekend, huh?"

"Sure, Leah. Have fun."

Leah headed out the door, but Sue was fast on her heels. She seemed very annoyed at her daughter the entire day, Bella guessed they were going to have words outside. Jacob was still eating, he had to have gone and made another plate, no way was he taking that long to eat.

Billy was talking to him, but Jacob was on answering with a bunch of "huh's" and "yeah's." Finally, Billy got his attention, "Boy, what's on your head?"

Jacob swiped the redness off his head again. It wasn't right, why was he still actively bleeding?

Charlie spoke up, "Have Sue take a look at that Jake when she comes back in."

Jacob looked at Bella, "How about you, Bells? You have a lot of experience with cuts, can you fix me up?"

"Sure, come on. Let's go to the first aide kit."

He followed her closely up the stairs. She went into the bathroom to dig out the first aid kit. He shut the door as soon as they were both inside and she didn't miss he locked it as well.

He pulled her in close and immediately went to her neck, kissing up and down in the spot he knew drove her crazy.  
"Jacob, knock it off. I'm supposed to be fixing your head, remember. How'd that happened anyway?"

"Okay, but first, kiss me," he demanded.

"No," she turned around, so he could see how irritated she was at him.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to kiss you." She probably couldn't recall a time lately that she didn't want to be kissing Jacob, but she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

"Come on, Bells one kiss and then I'll behave, I swear it."

She'd give him one little kiss just to shut him up and to fulfill her own need which had certainly made her agitated and aggressive, since he walked into the kitchen interrupting what was supposed to be her first kiss after trying again with Seth. It wasn't a little kiss at all, she was beginning to realize there was no such thing when she was dealing with him. He kissed her breathless in the tiny bathroom and she had guests downstairs, but she did it a couple of more times until the one kiss was more like three very long kisses.

"Alright enough," she pushed at his chest.

"It'll never be enough."

"I swear I liked you better before we ever made out."

"Liar."

"Well, you never acted this way when I was first getting to know you."

"Of course not or you would've run in the other direction," he laughed.

"Yeah, well, that still might be the case. Let me see your head and get to talking. You have a lot of explaining to do."

"About what?"

"This injury and about Lowry's logging company."

"First of all, what? I don't know the Lowry's."

"Jacob, you did something to get Seth away this afternoon, I'm sure of it."

"I did not, Bella."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise I've not set off a single alarm today. That had nothing to do with me."

"Okay, it was a strange coincidence though. What really happened here?" She reached for his head.

She pushed him to sit on the lid of the toilet so she could see exactly where the blood was coming from. "It's really deep, Jake." The cut was at the edge of his hairline, about a half an inch long. "I need to clean it, and see if I can see what's going on. How long has it been bleeding?"

"On and off, maybe five hours."

"Five hours, why aren't you healing?"

"I don't know, I think something's in it."

"Like what?"

"Glass."

"What the hell happened Jake, no more skirting the truth."

"She fucking crashed a glass fruit bowl on my head because I didn't come to bed last night and I wouldn't go with her to her family dysfunction."

"Really, how'd she manage that?"

"I was asleep on the couch. I had been over here, which by the way was a great time. I can't wait for a repeat," he winked at her. "And then I patrolled. I woke up with freaking sharp pain and a hell of a lot of noise."

"Jake, she's a maniac. What if she kills you or something?"

"Bells, really how's she going to manage that?"

"I don't know, she's already attacked you in your sleep what if next time she uses a more deadly weapon. This might sting." She poured a little antiseptic to wash away the caked and fresh blood to get a better look.

"Ouch," he flinched."Well what do you see?"

"About three of four shards of glass, I'll need the tweezers to dig em out."

She started to dig in the wound, the first two were big, so she got them easy, but the last one was tiny and she had to dig for it. "Be still."

"Easier said than done. That shit hurts, you're poking around in my skull, it feels like."

She maneuvered the tweezers a little longer and finally got the last piece.

**Bang, bang bang** went on the outside of the door, "What in the hell is taking so long and why is this door locked? Bella open the door."

She flung the door open, "Sorry Dad, Jake had glass...I was just getting it out," she stammered.

"Why'd you two lock the door?"

"I didn't realize, out of habit, I guess. We're almost done, just cleaning up the wound and I'm going to tape some gauze up there to hold pressure on it."

Charlie wasn't buying it, he gave them both a look that said he wasn't fooled. All the times she had him snowed him about Edward, but it wasn't working any longer. He was suspicious of them.

"How'd you get glass in your head, son?"

Jacob didn't answer but Bella was more than eager to tell her father, the cop the truth. "Nadia broke a glass bowl on his head while he was sleeping, Dad."

"What? Is that true Jake?"

"Yes sir."

"Well, son that's assault. Do you want me to fill out a report?"

"No Charlie, it was a disagreement. I can handle it."

"Do you have any idea how many times I've sat down with a young woman and listened to her justify her partner's temper? Some of those same women ended up in the hospital later or worse, I'm sorry to say. Gender doesn't matter, Jacob...abuse is abuse."

"Charlie, I promise if it gets worse I'll come talk to you, but everything's fine for now."

The three of them headed downstairs, Jake's head was probably already healed by then, but Bella put the gauze to hide it from Charlie and Randy.

She went to the kitchen to find Sue had already done a lot of the cleaning which she really appreciated. She stretched to put away some of the things in the top shelf since they weren't used as often when Jake's voice startled her. "Something I can help you with Deputy Manchini?"

Bella wasn't aware Randy had been in the kitchen too. He hadn't made a peep. "Oh, no, I was going to thank Bella again for having me over."

"Bella, Deputy Manchini says 'thanks' but he has to go now."

"What?" Randy said like he was confused.

She stepped down from the stool she'd been standing on. What was Jacob doing? Did he know the deputy? He was acting strangely.

Bella was going to be courteous and shake his hand even though he'd kind of acted creepy in the beginning, he seemed okay. Jake blocked her from doing that and put his hand on the deputy's shoulder like he was going to lead him to the door. He actually went out the door with him. He must have known him better than she knew and had something to discuss with him. She continued to put the rest of the stuff away. She had Seth's platter of pies tucked away safely in the fridge and a generous portion set aside for Paul. All in all there had been some huge appetites at the table but she and Charlie would still have leftovers for a few days. She thought she made exactly the right amount of everything.

Jake walked back in the kitchen and motioned for her. She followed him out the back door. "What was that all about? You're acting weird...weirder than normal."

"Yeah, well I came in here to help you, but found out you had your tits on display while your arms were stretched up and Deputy Do-wrong was enjoying the show. He was standing there gawking at you with his tongue hanging out not saying a word. The fucker is lucky I didn't deck him right there."

"Do you know him?"

"No, not really. I know of him."

"Well, what did you do Jake? You didn't say anything did you?"

His smile was sinister.

"Jake," she slapped at his back, "He works with Charlie and he knows about me and Seth. You didn't threaten him, did you?"

"What about you and Seth?" he asked. She wasn't ready to get into that.

"Just tell me, Jake. He's not going to report you to Charlie, is he?"

"No, he knows better than that."

"Then you did threaten him, dammit Jake, why'd you do that? Lots of men look at women inappropriately I'm sure you've even done the same. It's in the genes. As long as he didn't grab me or something," he growled at her. "There was no reason to overreact."

"I didn't overreact. I don't want anyone seeing what's mine and having perverse thoughts about it later."

He heart fluttered in her chest. He had said "mine", that was completely inaccurate. She couldn't be his, but when he said that she forgot everything else. He must have known what had made her go silent. His hand held her cheek and he leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. "It's true Bells, maybe not the way you deserve yet, but one day, I swear it; you'll be fully be mine and I'll be yours...always."

"Jake,"

"Shh," he kissed her again. "I've got to run Billy home and then I'm patrolling at 7. I'll be over tonight."

"No, Jacob I have some stuff going on with Seth, it's not a good night. You were here last night."

"And what, we can't be with each other two nights in a row?"

"No, it's just..."

"Bella, don't think I'm not keeping track. I've been here three times and Seth has also."

"What? How...how do you know that?"

"We'll talk about it later...I have to go."

He walked back inside before she could say anything else. She had long suspected it, but now she was sure of it. Jacob had a spy that reported back to him. Who was it though? Of course, he could force any one of them to do something for him, but he wouldn't have trusted most of them for that job. He was an imprinted wolf, so all of the others were out. Seth and Leah obviously weren't involved. One of the younger ones, maybe. It couldn't be Embry, she knew that for some reason. There was only one choice, the one with the lowest set of morals. He'd been there earlier acting way too comfortable around her. "Dammit, Paul and damn you Jacob Black," she whispered to herself. He would be by later for that food and she had a good mind to poison it. With what though? She was fresh out of poison, but maybe she could lace it with a laxative or something. She didn't even know if that would work on the wolves and she loved the art of cooking too much to do such a thing. For a second, she thought about how he said he'd never had a meal like what she prepared. He could've been bullshitting her, but she looked closely at his eyes when he mentioned it and she really thought he was telling the truth. Maybe if she tried to be a little bit nicer to him, he'd feel bad about telling her every move to Jake. She was going to use a little reverse psychology on Paul Lahote and maybe it would benefit her in the end.

Bella went back inside to join Charlie and Sue. The three of them relaxed a little and watched some TV together. She'd been exhausted and didn't even realize she had fallen asleep until Charlie shook her awake. "Bells, I'm running Sue home since Seth's not back yet. I'll be home in a few hours, okay?"

"Oh sure, Dad, " she wiped her tired eyes and stood up to hug Sue goodbye.

She went in the kitchen to check her phone.

**sorry it took so long, i got filthy and needed a shower **

**then i fell asleep but ill be back before 8**

It was almost 7 and she didn't expect Paul to be late, so she started to reheat his food. She saw him peering through the back door as the microwave chimed to alert her the food was done. She went to let him in wondering why he was out back. "I just reheated it, have a seat."

"I can eat inside?"

"Of course, did you think I was going to make you eat of the porch?"

"No, I thought you'd fix it to go or something?"

"No, you deserve to have Thanksgiving at the table. That's one of the things that makes it special." She was being super sweet to him for the first time and it wasn't that bad.

He started eating like he was famished for days. "So good, thanks Bella."

"You're very welcome, Paul. So you never get home cooked meals?"

"Never."

"Well, I love to feed people, it's a pleasure. I'm not much of a conversationalist, but food helps me communicate with others. You can come by more often, we almost always have extra. It's hard to only cook for two."

His eyes got really wide, "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Oh okay, thanks a bunch. I'll take you up on that offer."

"Pie?" was her next question.

One side of his lip curled up, he really was a perv. "What kind?"

She pulled out the pie pieces that were left to let him have his pick.

"Can I have two?"

"Of course, Have at it. I'll pack up one for the road too, but you have to answer a couple of questions for me first."

"Um, sure what's on your mind?"

"Why do you follow me around and report back to Jacob?"

"Who says I do?"

"I say you do and I want to know why and I want you to stop. There are laws against that kind of behavior. Should I tell Chief Swan about it?"

He bit his lip and shifted around in his chair.

"Well, I'm waiting."

"Look, they're both my brothers. That means something to me. I grew up in a shitty family and I never had anyone look out for me before the pack. A lot of 'em resent being a wolf, but it saved me. I'd probably be dead now if it hadn't happened to me. As you know, imprinting fucking sucks and I know I talk a rough game, but it scares the hell out of me. It still could happen to me. If Jake figures all this shit out, he might be able to protect us all. We need him to be successful, no one else is brave enough to give it a try. You're helping him which in turns helps the rest of us. He's alpha and he possessive, but he also has very protective nature. He mostly wants to know you're safe at all times. I'm sorry, I stay away as much as I can. I'm not invading your privacy."

"Yes, you are even if you don't peep in my window, it's still not right."

"Well, I don't have much of a choice and no amount of food bribery is going to get me to go against Jake."

"Is it an order?"

"No, but I've had my ass thoroughly kicked by him in the past and I don' t plan to do it again."

"Why did he kick your ass? Let me guess something you said."

"Nope," he looked downright ashamed. She couldn't believe he was capable of that.

"What then?"

"He found out I use to screw Nadia. She was one of my regular skanks before the imprint."

"Oh my God! You're serious, aren't you?"

"Unfortunately, yes. I suggested the club that night because I knew the women were always more than willing there."

"That's disgusting. Did you and Nadia have feelings for one another?"

"Hell no. I know what I am, Bella, but believe me she was the female version of me. She was worse, she had lots of ulterior motives. I've seen her scam an old rich guy in three minutes flat. How can Jake ever trust anything about her? He can't, he's miserable and the fucking wolf constantly chews and scrapes at him from the inside every little bit he pulls away. Jacob has to break this imprint. I've witnessed it, the closer you two get, the stronger the man gets. He's going to do it, I know he is. So you can continue to hate me or you can be my ally. I swear you're safe with me and I have a lot of respect for you for some reason. Believe me, no woman has ever heard that statement out of my mouth, so friends," he held his large hand out to her. She wasn't sure, but she shook it anyway. Maybe she just made a deal with the devil, but she was going to give him the benefit of the doubt. She put together generous doggie bag for him and sent him out into the night.

He thanked her repeatedly as he walked away towards his truck. She expected Seth any minute so she went back inside to freshen up.

She noticed Paul didn't put back his chair, but before she pushed it under the table, she realized what was left behind. The chair had tiny pieces of sawdust on the surface as well as some under the table.

She didn't know if she should laugh or cry, so she stood there for several minutes shaking her head in disbelief. "I swear to God, my life was easier when I was blinded by the love of a vampire," she said to herself.

"Bella," Seth called her from the living room.

She ran into his arms, and he picked her up. "Seth, you're the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't deserve you," she cried.

"Hold on, baby. What happened" Why are you crying? It's okay, who upset you?"

She didn't answer, she just shook her head. He walked them to the couch and held her like she was a baby. She sobbed for awhile, but calmed herself enough, so that she could convince him how important he was to her. She initiated the kiss, and it was still so familiar, so perfect. She had to choose him, it was the only safe thing for her.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you too, Seth."

"Really?" he double checked.

"Yes."

She felt his body relax, "I know it's happening so fast, but I mean it. I've never loved another woman. That's what I wanted you to know. I was afraid before. I used women. I was too young to realize how stupid I was being. The first time they took me to a bar, I was still 16, but I didn't look it. It was easiest to spot the ones that didn't care. I screwed a lot of chicks Bella. I hated myself when I was like that and I use to throw up sometimes, afterwards. I was trying to prove to the guys I was a man, but I was still a kid inside. I gave it up after Jake imprinted, and when I met you, I regretted it even more. You deserve better, someone that doesn't have all that baggage."

"Seriously, you're too good for me Seth. I don't care about your past, not at all except, I'm a virgin."

"Um, yeah, I pretty much guessed that."

"Well, I don't want to disappoint you. I get that men have needs."

"For now, my needs can wait, we're going to do this right. We're going to take our time to really work on our relationship. If I have to wait until we're married I will."

"Married?" she sounded alarmed.

"Sure, I always knew when I finally fell in love, it'd be for good. I don't mean anytime soon, so calm down. I don't have a ring or anything."

She stayed in his lap until the lights of the cruiser moved across the curtains. They had sat there in the dark taking turns talking and making out for almost an hour. He lifted her up off his lap, so they could be presentable when Charlie walked in. Neither had time to get to the light, so he walked in to see them sitting there in the dark. He shook his head and walked up the stairs without a word. She hoped her Dad didn't think she was some sort of slut. Sluts slept around with everyone, didn't they, she just loved two men. There was not a single word in the English language to define what she was. It wasn't even confusion any longer, there was no doubt in her mind; she really did love them both.

**~As always, thanks for reading. TC**


	17. Chapter 17

_**Who likes double updates and Paul? I do, I do! *raises hand****_

_**This one is for you Jacobzlover, since you touched on so many things that were important with the last update!**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight is the sole property of Stephanie Meyer**_

Chapter 16

Charlie had gone to his room and Seth left knowing she was super tired. She had practically worked non-stop the entire week with very little sleep. She trudged up the stairs and went to her room to get some pj's so she could grab a shower. He was standing in the middle of the room in total darkness. When she walked in, he flicked on the light and that's when she saw the fury in his eyes.

"Jake, what the hell? Charlie's still awake. Seth was just here. How'd you get in my room?"

He stalked over to her and grabbed her arms a little to firmly for her liking, "Why is his scent all over you? What the fuck have you been doing all evening?"

She jerked her arms back, "None of your business, you need to leave. I told you not to come over."

"Why are you back with him?"

"Leave Jake."

"No, not until you get it through your head, I don't share."

"You're joking right? You leave me every time to go climb into bed with that bitch of woman you live with, but you expect me to be faithful. Get the hell out."

"Bella, I've fucking tried to explain to you over and over. I'm working on it and when I'm free, the last complication I expect is you're not. Break up with him...now."

"You knew I was with him for months."

"That was before. Do you honestly think it's right to let me in your bed at night and pretend you love cuddles with Seth in the evening?"

"No, you're right, I shouldn't do that, so stop coming over and I won't have you in my bed anymore."

"Fucking hell, Bella!" he shouted.

Oh no, she couldn't believe how angry he was, he was out of control. There was no doubt in her mind, Charlie heard, the neighbors probably heard.

"Go, right now Jake before my Dad comes in." Too late, Charlie opened the door.

He looked at each of them. He also looked extremely mad. "I don't want to hear it, but you better leave right now, Jacob. No Dad wants to come in and find a man in his daughter's bedroom, barely dressed." Of course, he only had a pair of shorts on which made it look even worse. Bella was trying to hold in her tears so neither of the men would see them.

Jacob walked past Charlie, down the stairs and out the front door. He didn't even bother shutting it. Charlie followed and slammed it shut after he disappeared in the night.

"What the hell was that? Bella I've caught you with two men tonight. Don't you know better than this? What are you doing?"

"I don't know, Charlie...do I know better? Who taught me the difference between right and wrong? Was it you who I barely ever saw? Or was it Renee who worried about her appearance and boyfriends more than she ever gave a damn about her little girl?"

She was saying horrible things to him and she should stop. He looked completely caught off guard. "I...I'm sorry, I told you I made mistakes, kid, but I never," he stopped a second to take a deep breath. "Hell, Bella. I didn't know, I'm sorry, I didn't know."

And she started up again. "Yeah, I get it, you never knew that almost every month, one utility got shut off because 'oops she forgot' or that I watched cooking shows instead of cartoons, so I didn't have to keep going to bed with my stomach grumbling. I was the weird kid that sat around alone and read, who didn't know how to talk to anyone my own age," she was practically shouting at him now.

"I sent her plenty of money and she worked. Why didn't she pay the bills or buy you enough food? You could've told me, we talked on the phone."

"I was too afraid."

"Of your mother, why? Did she ever hurt you, did anyone ever hurt you Bells?"

"No, Dad, but you were already gone. I thought if I did something to make Mom mad, she'd leave me too."

He wiped at his right eye. "I didn't leave, I swear it wasn't my doing. I begged her to stay, begged her to at least be closer. I'm sorry, I gave up too easily. I loved you more than anything. I still do. I've got a mind to call her right now and give her a piece of my mind no matter how late it is on the east coast."

"Dad, forget it," she had calmed down some. "She got better after Phil, he took charge of the household. She helped me through my depression or she attempted to do her best. It's fine. I'm sorry for what I said. I just don't know what to do with my life."

"Bella, your life seems to be going better. It's just Jake and Seth, I don't understand. They're good men, why are they having this kind of affect on you?"

She started sobbing, like shaking and crying at the same time. She had calmed down her rant for only a minute and now she was losing it again. In all her life, she had never felt such agitation. She had to get it out. "I love them, I want them both and I can't have them. I'm a miserable human being. Why couldn't have just one person left me there when I was bleeding to death? I wish I was dead!" she yelled so loud, it stung her throat. "I can't stand feeling like this, hurting everyone. I'm toxic," she screeched and slumped over the chair because she felt like her legs wouldn't even hold her up any longer.

Just outside the door, a painful howl was heard. Charlie had grabbed a hold of her arm to steady her. "Did you hear that? A goddamn wolf is right outside." He walked her to the couch and started to walk towards the closet.

"Where are you going Dad?"

"Getting my gun."

"No, don't do that. He isn't hurting anything, he's probably long gone in the woods by now."

"It sounded like it was right outside the back door, let me go take a look."

"Please, no, don't leave me."

He sat beside her, "Bells, let me take you someplace. I'm scared, I think you need to see a doctor tonight."

"No, I don't; please sit with me a little while. I'm just overworked, I tried to do too much and I didn't get hardly any sleep last night," she sniffed and wiped her nose on her Dad's t-shirt.

"Okay, but we're calling Dr. Thompson first thing Monday morning. This isn't normal, you almost seemed like you're having a nervous breakdown. Come here, kiddo," he put his arm around her and kissed the side of her head. "I love you."

"I love you too. I'm so sorry what I said. I don't know what came over me, but I don't blame you." She snuggled close to her father. It was a rare moment. Even when she was a little girl, it wasn't often she let him comfort her. She had been so upset a few minutes before, even Jacob heard her outside. She somehow knew that was him and even if she was furious at him at the moment, she wasn't going to stand by and let her Dad go out there and shoot him. It wasn't too long after sitting there in her Dad's comforting embrace, that her eyelids became heavy and she drifted off to sleep.

Bella woke up with her head on Charlie's shoulder. Her neck was starting to feel stiff. She sat forward and stretched, not having a clue what time it was. They'd fallen asleep sitting up on the couch. She felt like she really should go stretch out in her own bed, so she gently tapped him. He startled immediately, "Huh, Bells, you alright?"

"Yeah, but come on, you need to get to bed and so do I. Your shoulder is going to kill you tomorrow sleeping like this. I know it still bothers you."

"Will you be alright?"

"Yes, Dad, I'm exhausted. Let's make a deal, sleep in as late as possible."

"I second that," he said as they made their way up the stairs.

"Holler if you need me no matter what time."

She pulled the covers back and stripped down to her undershirt. She would get that shower in the morning. She picked up her phone, it was already was morning, 2 am to be exact. He had left her countless messages and texts. "I'm sorry, I fucked up, I didn't mean it, please talk to me, I heard you screaming, I'm losing it out here." The list went on and on, but she was too tired to keep reading them. It didn't matter. She noticed one goodnight text from Seth and another text from a number she didn't know.

**hey, its paul, jake messed up if u dont want talk to him, then call me**

"Hey," she whispered into her phone.

"Oh, hey, I didn't expect to hear from you at least not this late, you okay?"

"I know it's late, but would you like to hang out tomorrow?"

"You're fucking with me right?"

"No, I need someone I can talk to, like really spill my guts. Jacob and Seth are not an option along with Leah, Dad, my doctor and anyone I work with. I'm going nuts. I've got so much pent up frustration, I need to get it out. That's why I lost it tonight."

"Okay, do you plan on feeding me?"

"Yes, I'll make you whatever you want as long as you deal with my emotional vomit and keep my secrets."

"Well, when you make it sound that appealing, sure, why the hell not? Wait, one more thing Jake's going a little nuts tonight. Are you like cutting him out of your life for good?"

"No, but I don't want to see him anytime soon. I mean it, tell him I said stay away until I call him."

"Okay, well...goodnight."

"Night Paul, thanks."

She and Charlie kept their word to each other. She rolled over and saw that it was almost 11:30 when she heard his feet on the stairs. What a crazy rollercoaster of emotions she'd gone through. If someone would have told her yesterday at this time she would have found a new confident in Paul Lahote, she would've have thought they were insane. She went from being from feeling disgusted by him to actually wanting to spend time with him because he was the one person she could be open with.

"Coffee?"

"Sure, Dad. Did you sleep okay?"

"I tossed and turned a little more than normal. How about you?"

"Okay, I guess."

"Bella, go ahead and give the doctor a call after we eat. She listens to her voice mails frequently, doesn't she?"

"Yes, in the past she's always gotten back with me."

"Well, see if she can see you today or Monday at the latest. I don't want you to wait. I don't understand why you're experiencing so much rage all of the sudden."

Bella thought back a few days, she had been more and more irritated. It wasn't a hormone issue either, it was almost mid cycle for her, usually when she felt her best. She was faithfully taking her meds, the same prescriptions and doses she'd been accustomed to for quite some time. There was only one thing different that she'd experienced. The partial venom extraction, for lack of a better word. She remembered Kelsee saying her body was use to it, taking out too much at once would cause her to go into shock. Was this a side effect? It actually wasn't all bad, she definitely repressed emotions way too often, but the way she was feeling was borderline violent. She felt like she needed monitoring or something, but how? She had no idea, this would be one of those times she'd have to cover and make up something to Dr. Thompson. It wasn't possible for her tell her what had changed. She was to see Kelsee tomorrow, so she needed to see what she thought about the rage. Today, she'd take it easy. Seth was working a double at the station and she knew he also had patrol at night, he'd barely have a chance to catch a short nap. She'd forbid Jacob to be anywhere near her, so she was planning on getting some stuff hashed out with Paul. She'd let him know she was smarter than he and Jacob gave her credit. She was going to bust him for setting off the alarm yesterday, so maybe he'd stop underestimating her.

"Oh, I think I remember she was traveling out of town, Dad, but it's fine. I'm sticking around here with you today. Oh, and later, one of my friends is stopping by."

"Which friend?"

"Um, you know Paul, right? Jake and Seth's buddy."

"You mean the Paul that chases women, of any age, up and down the 101; from barely legal to middle-aged housewives? That he is known for having a bad temper and routinely is involved in bar fights? Yes, Bells, I know who Paul is, so why don't you tell me how in the hell you consider someone like him a friend?"

"Well, he's kind of a new friend, it's accidental. I know he doesn't have the greatest rep, but we're just going to hang out here. I'm cooking for him. Did you know he didn't have a good home life?"

"Yeah, his Dad was a miserable drunk and abusive. His mom rarely took care of the children, social services was often involved. I think there's an older brother in jail. Bella, do you have some sort of strange compulsion to try and fix people, because from what I can tell; you really need to fix yourself first."

"No, I'm not trying to fix Paul, but there's stuff I can say to him that I can't tell anyone else."

"If he told you that, as your father I need to inform you, its a ploy. He's trying to get in your pants, Bells."

"Dad, oh my god, please don't start. I'm not that dumb and trust me Paul would never try something like that with me."

"Bella, you might be 24 now, but you and I both know you're not experienced with the world."

"We can agree on that, but still you have to trust me."

He shook his head, and left her at the table. Her recent episodes probably weren't helping strengthen Charlie's faith in her, but at least he hadn't banned Paul from the house.

Bella had a slow relaxing day. Charlie went down to the station just to check on a few things. He wasn't gone more than hour. She was simmering the turkey carcass as the base for her spicy turkey soup she was making for dinner. She had taken a long soak while Charlie had been out. She texted Seth just to say hi, she skipped the fact she was having Paul for dinner. She wasn't going to hide it from him, god knows, she already kept enough from him. She just knew he had a busy day and it might take awhile to explain what exactly she was up to with Paul. Which was what? Even she wasn't sure, but Seth might understand how she felt a little sorry for Paul. His description of his life along with what Charlie's knowledge really did make her feel for him. She had a somewhat sucky childhood as well, but for different reasons. Bella wondered if Paul's blatant disrespect for the female population stemmed from never developing trust as a young child? She was doing what she promised Charlie she wouldn't try and do. She was already trying to figure out how to fix Paul. It was so much easier to do that for other people than herself. It was one of the things she loved about Elementary education, a little kid would come to her seeking help and usually there was a simple solution to putting a smile on their face. It might be an extra piece of tape or a new coloring page or helping them form a letter they struggled with. She did feel a sense of satisfaction making others happy, which is why she also loved cooking. The truth was she might be trying to seek out distractions which kept her from dealing with her own issues. She'd definitely put this on the list and discuss it with Dr. Thompson. Bella had decided, for now, she wasn't going to tell her about Jacob coming to her room at night. She would admit she was still seeing both of them and her realization she was in love with them. She had to omit the story about the venom, but she might be able to tell her about Kelsee as a new person in her life. Dr. Thompson always asked if she had met anyone knew or was forming more friendships.

She got a text from Jake right before she expected Paul. She knew he must have told him he was on the way over.

**Im sorry, ill leave u alone, but please let me know when we can meet up and talk**

She'd given that a little consideration and if Dr. T got back with her about Monday, maybe she'd be willing to meet him in a public place after her appointment. No more late nights in her bedroom, since they weren't getting in talks accomplished there. Paul was being let in by Charlie as she skipped down the stairs. He didn't hide his distaste for him, it was written all over the creases in his forehead.

"Evening, Chief Swan, how are you?" Paul said, as he reached to shake Charlie's hand. Who knew Paul could be so charming, and he wasn't just creepy?

Charlie quickly shook it. Bella imagined he squeezed it as hard as he could even though it wouldn't phase him, "Let's make one thing clear. I know all about you Lahote, and you're allowed here tonight only because I'll be here, right there in that chair," he pointed to his recliner, "all night, and I'm watching you."

"Oh, sure sir, Bella and I are just friends. She's a great cook, I'm here to eat and chill out."

"Come on," she grabbed Paul's arm to pull him in the kitchen, "Sorry, he hates you, but it'll be fine."

He laughed, "It's fine, most people do hate me, I'm use to it. It smells great in here."

"Thanks. And I suppose if I'm honest, I use to hate you too."

"Yeah, when did you quit?"

"I'm not completely sure if I did, but probably yesterday."

Bella ladled some soup for everyone and took Charlie a tray with soup and a turkey melt. She and Paul ate in the kitchen.

"If this is going to work, and I'm not going to start hating you again, then you have to tell me why you sabotaged Lowry's lumber company yesterday."

He gagged on the beer he'd just took a swig of. "Excuse me, um, I..."

"Don't lie."

He put down the beer and his spoon. He ran his hand through his hair. "How'd you know?"

"Because you big idiot, you left a trail of sawdust in my kitchen. I hope you weren't as stupid at the crime scene and left behind fingerprints."

"Crime scene, Bella, it was hardly a crime and no I had on gloves. I didn't do any permanent damage."

"He put you up to it. I thought it was him, because the call came in right after he showed up but he carefully worded his non-involvement and like a fool, I believed him."

"It really wasn't his idea, I though of it."

"Why?"

"Because, Jake was excited that for once Nadia was gone out of town. She hadn't spent a night away since the imprint. He was thinking y'all would never get any time alone because of all your company and he knew Seth was coming over again. He was worried you'd give him a second chance."

"I told him I knew how to get you two a little alone time without causing anyone real harm. So yeah it was my dumb idea, are you back to hating me?"

"No, I don't think so since you were honest, but don't pull another stunt like that again."

Paul told Bella something she wouldn't have guessed. He told her how Seth was the weakest with his thoughts. Leah, Jake, himself and Sam had the best control over what they shared, but he said Seth couldn't do it at all. That's mostly the reason, Jacob got so edgy with him from the beginning. He knew every last thought Seth had about her, and every time they made out and how much Seth can't wait for the day she was finally ready.

"So I'm letting you know if you get freaky with Seth anytime soon, Jake is going to know the second Seth phases in and it's going to be a bloodbath."

"Well, Jacob sleeps with Nadia still. We don't talk about it, but I know what it means when he says he can't refuse her. There's something you should know, Seth mentioned marriage last night."

"What? That kid is way too eager."

"He's not a kid and it was sweet. I never expected it, but we're back together and Jake's going to have to deal with it."

"So you're done with Jake, that's what I need to go tell him?"

"Um, not exactly, not yet."

"Then what?"

I don't think I'm over Jacob, he's an addiction for me right now. I still need him, but some day I'll be strong enough to let him go. Maybe you can relate, you sleep with all those women that you don't care about and you can't stop even though you know it's not good for you."

"So I'm addicting to fucking."

"Well, sex addiction is real."

"And you're addicted to Jake sex?"

"We're not having sex."

"Yet..." he added.

"I don't plan on it."

"Prediction, you're giving it up to Jake within the next month or two."

"Wrong," she huffed.

"I'm right and you're baking me cake when I win the bet."

"It isn't a bet, so you can forget about the cake."

"Charlie surely has the TV on loud, is he going deaf or something?"

"No, he's in denial you're in here with me."

"Why does he hate me so much?"

"Other than the obvious, he thinks you're trying to get in my pants."

"Let me paint a picture for you. If I got anywhere close to your pants, Jacob would rip my balls off and watch while Seth fed them to me, so no, that was never my intention."

"That's gross."

"Well, it's true."

"Too bad you're not gay."

He choked on his beer again, "Where'd that come from?"

Bella told him about her Uncle Jeff, he wasn't really her uncle. He was Renee's gay, best friend for years before Phil, back in Arizona. She could trust him and he was always looking out for her because of her terrible track record with men. She told Bella a long time ago, he'd been one of the best things that every happened to her.

"Well, you can forget ever having sleep overs where we paint our nails and shit. That's not my thing."

"Jeff never painted her nails, but he did do her hair. He was her hairdresser, that's how they met."

"Hey, you want to go outside?"

"Um...my Dad might come looking for us. You know he was going after his gun last night. He was going to shoot Jake when he heard him howling."

"I doubt the bullet would hurt us unless it went through our brain or heart. Who knows?"

"I just thought you might want to star gaze. It's a clear night for it and the Leonids meteor shower has been good this month, maybe well catch sight of a shooting star."

"You know astronomy?"

"Yeah, a little bit. I climbed out the window a lot as a kid and hid up on the roof when my Dad was in the mood to beat the shit out of everyone. Looking up at the sky made me feel safe, like I was far away from what was taking place inside the house."

She didn't know how to respond to that, but it was beautiful and tragic at the same time.

"Come on, let's go out back it's darker," he motioned for her to follow him.

Bella grabbed the throw off the sofa and told Charlie where they'd be.

He grumbled and said a couple of warnings, but she went out with him anyway despite Charlie's protests.

She and Paul sat on the blanket for almost 30 minutes before she saw her first shooting star. He'd already spotted three of them, but she kept missing it.

She squealed with excitement when she finally saw one streak across the sky.

He looked around like he was nervous, "Jake if you're out there we're just watching the sky."

She followed suit, "Jake if you're out there...go away, and stop spying on me!" They both had a good laugh after that.

She looped her arm with Paul's and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thanks Paul. I never would have expected something like this from you. You might end up being my very own Uncle Jeff."

"Just not the gay part okay, I like..." she covered his mouth before he said that word. "Well, you know," he smirked.

"Yeah I know what you were about to say."

"Come here," he brought her close for a hug when they stood up. He gave her nuggie as well. Bella swore if she'd ever had a brother, that's what it would have been like to have him hug her.

"I fucking like you Bella Swan, but not enough to get castrated for you."

"Gee, Paulie, that's really touching, you should write that on a greeting card or something and I'll cherish it forever." The two of them headed back inside to where Charlie was. They had good laugh the four times they'd seen him looking out the kitchen window at them. Paul left soon after, and Bella went to bed with a genuine smile on her face.

_**~ Thanks so much for reading and I love the feedback I've been receiving. Saturday's update scared me, but we're back on track. **_

_**Just so we're clear, Paul is a FRIEND! The double pairing is exhausting, so I'm not adding anything extra. I've planned on this friendship since the first time he threw his arm around her and she tried to shrug it off.**_


	18. Chapter 18

**_~A/N I kept my promise and updated frequently this week, so I hope you enjoyed whether you love or hate what's going on right now._**

Chapter 17

It took a little convincing for Charlie to let Leah take Bella out of the house Saturday afternoon. He had not wanted her to leave the house except for school and Dr. Thompson's on Monday. She had managed to switch her Wednesday time to Monday at 3:00 and she was giving her two hours instead of one. She'd have to take an hour of personal time at the end of the day to make it. Again, Charlie wanted to drive her, but she was finally able to convince him to let her go alone. The catch was Jacob had to stop by the station for a man to man talk, because Bella was honest that he was going to take her to dinner after her appointment. She had no idea what he planned on saying to him, but he probably deserved every bit of the lecture Charlie would give him.

"Seth's going to pick you up," Leah broke the silence.

"Yeah, I know, I told him to wait til the end this time, because he was pretty agitated the last time."

"Is something else going on? Cuz you and Charlie were acting strange. Did I miss something since I left early?"

"Um, yeah...I had a bad night, Thursday."

"That's weird. I thought you rocked the hostess gig. Oh, let me guess. It had something to do with Jake showing up, huh?"

She was silent. Maybe Leah would drop it.

"Does Seth know?" or maybe not. "Listen up, Swan, don't you remember our conversations? This isn't going to end well for you if you keep hiding shit from my brother."

"Leah relax, Seth and I are going to have a long talk either tonight or tomorrow. I swear."

Leah was not very happy with her, it was obvious; but she seemed satisfied with Bella's response. Now that she'd given herself a deadline to make a confession to Seth, she couldn't back out of it. She really had to clear her mind for now, since they were almost at Kelsee's.

Bella was so much more relaxed the second time she walked inside Kelsee's door. Leah had sped away instead of going in with her. Bella hoped she hadn't disappointed her so much that she lost her friendship. Nothing specific had been said, but from the beginning, Bella realized how perceptive she was. It was obvious to her that she didn't have to spell it out for Leah.

"So good to see you, Isabella. Tell me how your week went, were there any concerns?"

"Yes," Bella responded quickly. "I've been so angry. I've lashed out and said things that I never expected would come out of my mouth. Why is that happening and please, tell it's not permanent."

"Well, as frightening as it might feel for you, I think it's necessary. Your body is going through a purging and it's not purely physical. Perhaps, these next few weeks, you should try and limit your stress and also your contact with others. Spend time relaxing, do you ever try meditation?"

"I know a few techniques, it helped me push away thoughts of self harm successfully many times."

"Okay then, dear; it sounds like a good plan and I think I should see you mid week as well."

She was caught off guard by that request, maybe Kelsee was going to try and rush the process, "To try and get out more venom?"

"No, we need to discuss some important things about your future and my past."

She was even more confused, but she still trusted the old woman. "You seem so confident and wise. I don't know why, but I feel drawn to you and I know you'd never lead me astray."

Kelsee held her hands and they intertwined their fingers. She looked at the very hands that Bella felt like were perfect matches to her own and seeing them together proved she was right. The only difference was the skin tone.

Bella sipped her tea soon after and Kelsee wrapped her arm slowly and carefully. She went through the same feelings as before, needing a few blankets and then kicking them off when she began to burn again. This time when she woke up, she was extremely anxious to watch the fire.

"Well, are you ready to light it?" Bella inquired.

"Yes, are you going to be okay this time when you see it or should I wait for you to leave?"

"No, please throw it in."

She abided by Bella's wishes and tossed the strips in the fire. The flame was similar only smaller and it burned out rather quickly.

"Still doing fine," she brushed back Bella's hair from her face.

"Yes, thank you. Before I go, can you answer a couple of questions?"

"Well, I think you should focus on resting only today. We'll talk more in the week, maybe Wednesday."

"Yes, Wednesday's good for me, but please I really need to have one question answered before I can deal with the next couple of days."

"Okay, I'll try my best. What do you need to know, dear?"

"Are you really going to teach Jacob how to break his imprint? I have to know if this is a fantasy he has or you truly believe it's possible."

"No, I would never string along the future chief, a brave warrior like Jacob. He can break the imprint, but we're proceeding with caution. It can't be done with out careful planning and consideration."

"Oh, is it like me with the venom; too fast would make him go into shock?"

She turned her eyes back towards the fire. She was deliberately avoiding looking at her. Bella felt a chill run up her spine and she didn't believe it was related to the extraction. She was afraid to ask but she had to know, "Worse?"

Kelsee shook her head slightly.

"You mean like make him sick or something, it can't hurt him permanently, right?"

"I have no way of knowing, please Isabella. I said no stress, I feel how upset you're becoming."

"Tell him no, you have to refuse him. Please...I've wanted him to be free of her since the moment I knew the truth, but it's not worth dying for. That's what you mean, isn't it? He could die breaking the imprint!" she shouted.

"You and I both know that refusing him won't stop him. At least if I'm overseeing the process, he'll have a better chance than trying something all by himself. He insists we get a hold of the archives, but we aren't allowed. I told him, I'm convinced they were altered long ago, so it won't make a difference. For now, I keep encouraging him to strengthen the resolve of the man; it's the only way he'll survive."

"And he's succeeding because of me?"

"Yes...he came to me before you moved back and nothing worked. The imprint pull was too strong, but since he formed a connection with you, he's made advances."

"So you think I should continue to see him?"

"Isabella, you must chose your own destiny, don't let anyone else chose it for you. Now, that's enough. Seth is near, so go home and rest tonight."

Bella wondered how she knew Seth was near, but a minute later, he knocked on the door. "Ready?"

She stood up and met him at the door. She said goodbye to Kelsee and walked with Seth to his truck.

"You sure you're okay?" he rubbed her back before helping her in the cab. "Was it the same?"

"Just about, but a little easier," she admitted excluding how it was the conversation afterwards that really left her traumatized.

"Well, why do you seem so zoned out? It's like you're a million miles away."

"Seth, you and I need to talk about a few things, but I really need to go home and rest. I'm thinking about sending Charlie to Billy's tomorrow, because I'm not able to host the Sunday tradition. You can come when he leaves, is that okay?"

"Should I be worried?" he asked.

"Please," she rubbed his leg to assure him, "I can't right now, I need to close my eyes."

Seth carried Bella to her bed when they got back to Charlie's. She had pretty much let her body and mind shut down. She wasn't capable of facing the fact Jacob was actually risking his life to be with her. She vaguely remembered Charlie sounding irritated when he spoke to Seth. Who knew what he thought about him bringing her in barely conscious. She heard the voices for several minutes, Charlie's was pretty loud, but she quit fighting and fell into a deep sleep.

There was a very gentle tapping at Bella's door. She'd slept like a rock through the night. "Come in, Dad."

Charlie slowly poked his head through the door. "Can we talk, please?"

"Yes." It was pointless to ask about what, she knew without a doubt what he wanted to talk about.

"Bells, this has to stop. I let you go with Leah and several hours later, Seth brings you back barely lucid. How am I supposed to accept something like that?"

"Dad, I'm a grown woman. Really, you let me go?" She was a woman, but she was starting to sound like a bratty teenager.

"You need protection right now, Bella. I'm well aware of the laws regarding this sort of thing and I don't want to go that route; but you need to know, I'll do anything in my power to assure you're safety."

"I was safe with the Clearwater's, you know they're practically family. I was just exhausted last night. I needed to tell Seth the truth, but I needed rest more. I'm going to talk to him today, so I hoped maybe you could go visit Billy or Sue."

"That'll be fine, I wasn't planning on having people over today. I have a confession to make, I called your Mom."

"Ah, really...I wish you wouldn't have. Did you two fight?"

"A little bit, but I gave up; Renee lives is a fantasy world most of the time. Bells, I can't believe you didn't have any friends from Jacksonville. All those years, going to college and working, you didn't make any sort of connections?"

"No."

"In my opinion, you weren't healing those five years, you were just lying dormant. Now, your life is going at an accelerated pace. You are involved with Jake and Seth and now for some unknown reason, Paul Lahote. Please, God, Bella tell me you don't have feelings for him too."

"No, it's not like that. I finally see potential in him. It's something no one notices because of the attitude he projects. I thought he was merely a filthy womanizer the first few times I was around him. I know I've given you absolutely no reason to trust a damn word that comes out of my mouth, but I really think Paul is good for me. Can you please not make a big deal out of it?"

"I'll try, but I'm going to still keep my eye on it. Are you still going to try and see Jacob Monday?"

"Yes, are you still going to talk to him at the police station?"

"Damn right I am. I don't get it. If he is going all out to be around you, why the hell is everyone ignoring the fact he lives with another woman; a woman, who shows signs of being psychotic. Why hasn't he dumped that bitch? I don't buy that the Quileute tribe arranges marriages or chooses partners that are potentially dangerous. Something else is going on."

She stared at her comforter and picked at a thread that was unraveling on the top of it. She didn't have the bravery to face her Dad. He was indeed smarter than she ever realized when she previously lived there. It would never be her place to share any secrets about the pack. It didn't seem fair that Charlie wasn't allowed to know, but she wasn't sure how he would handle the truth. He might want to send her straight back to Jacksonville.

"So, you're going to tell both of them the truth?" he asked slightly shifting gears.

"I'm going to try."

"How's that going to play out?"

"I have no idea," she shrugged.

Charlie left Bella alone so that she could get up and get ready. She texted Paul before she went downstairs.

**B: im telling them both**

**P: what exactly**

**B: that i love them**

**P: when**

**B: seth today, jake tomorrow**

**P: good luck ur gonna need it**

**B: rescue me if it goes bad**

**P: sure**

Seth showed up around 3:30, Charlie had been gone about an hour. The time alone should have helped her prepare, but as soon as he walked in, all the speeches she'd practiced in front of the mirror disappeared from her memory. She felt tongue tied and nervous. She was doing precisely the opposite of what Kelsee had advised, because this was an extremely stressful situation.

They sat down on the couch together. Seth grabbed her hand before they even got situated. He looked at her with concern. "Are you regretting the other night? Was it too much, too soon?"

"Um, not exactly, Seth. I mean, no I don't regret being with you."

"So you still think you love me?"

"Of course, I do love you but..." she would carefully choose her next words.

"But what?"

"Seth, you were wrong about me and Jake in the kitchen."

His brow furrowed, and he looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"Remember, you thought we were acting like enemies?"

"Oh," He got really serious, and she felt his grip loosen on her hand.

"Seth, I've been seeing Jacob for the past week."

"And by seeing, you mean?" It would've have been too much to describe what she had really been up to with Jacob, so she sugar coated it.

"Seth, he and I are more than friends. We have been for awhile. The more I pushed him away, the more I felt the need to pull him back."

He completely let go of her hand then and stood up and walked over to the window. He was staring outside, she could visibly see tremors run through his body. All those times she worried about hurting him, had come true. He was devastated, it was way worse than when they had all had that initial confrontation.

"Why? Why did you try and convince me you really loved me, Bella? I never would've believed you could be that cruel."

She stood up and went to him. Her hand barely made contact with his back, and he spun around, "Don't, don't touch me right now."

"Seth, I wasn't lying. I do love you, I swear it. I love you."

"Then what the hell is going on with Jake? Do you not care about the fact he's imprinted and always will be. He'll always chose Nadia over you. Don't you have one shred of self-respect?"

"Yes, I know, but I can't help the way I feel."

"Which is? No, more lies."

She stared at Seth's sullen expression. It was not a good look for him, a completely foreign look that didn't suit him. "I love him." He stepped away even more. "I don't know if you believe it's possible. I didn't use to believe it was, but it's possible to love more than one person. That's what I'm confessing to you. I love both of you. It might not be right or justified, but it's real. I know since it's happened to me."

"So...what do you want from me, Bella?"

"I want us to still have a chance," was the only answer she could give.

"That's not possible."

"Are you sure?" This time he didn't flinch when she touched him. "Is it possible that I could still spend time with both of you for awhile until I know what's best for me."

"I think anyone that knows the situation or hell even a stranger off the streets could tell you right now what's best for you."

"Okay, maybe that wasn't the right word, but what I meant is; could that work if you both knew the situation?"

"Does he know?"

"He knows you and I are back together and he didn't react well. He and I haven't spoken since Thanksgiving. Paul's been keeping him informed, so I didn't have to talk to him."

"Paul? Since when would you tell Paul anything? You hate him."

"Seth, I found out something about Paul. He's actually a good listener and he doesn't judge."

"Because how could he? He's a total fuck-up. That's all he'll ever be." Bella felt very protective of Paul for some reason. That sounded like something his disgusting father would've said to him growing up. She wasn't going to let Seth talk about him like that just because he was pissed at her.

"Don't say that about him, he might be an extremely flawed individual but he's your brother. Isn't that what you all say it's like being in the pack? He still can change. I think one day, he will; but even if he doesn't, he's my friend."

"So that's what you want right now, Bella? You want to be the pack whore? You want all of us?"

Her heart was getting ready to explode out of her chest, it was beating so hard and fast. Never in a million years did she imagine something so vulgar and cruel could pass from those sweet lips. He had been the purest soul she'd ever encountered, it was why it was so easy to fall for him. She knew she'd hurt him, but he'd gone too far. Tears were beginning to quickly make a trail down her cheeks.

"I can't believe you said that to me," she sniffed.

He looked down at the ground, "I can't either, I should go." He went to the door.

"Seth," she called to him, because she didn't want him to go yet.

"No, Bella, we're just going to keep hurting each other if I stay."

"So you're never coming back?"

"No, I didn't say that, I need some time to think about it." He stopped before he shut the door. "I'm sorry about what I said, you know I didn't mean that." That was the last thing he said before he left.

She ran upstairs to her room so she could bury her face in her pillow and cry. She knew it was going to be difficult to talk to Seth, but it was way worse than she imagined. She cried til all the tears were used up and her nose felt swollen and stuffed up. Charlie was probably going to be gone for several more hours. He'd come back in a heartbeat if she called him and asked him to, but she didn't want to burden him further after the past few days they'd had. She sent out the one word text.

**Rescue**

He walked in her room, about 20 minutes later, she felt movement at the end of her bed when he sat down.

"You know, I realize it's Forks but you didn't even hear me when I came through the unlocked door, called your name and walked up the stairs into your room. You should be more careful."

"Oh, yeah, I usually keep it locked when I'm alone, but I was distracted."

"Was it that bad?"

"Yes, he was crushed."

"So him being crushed is what made you this bad. You look like shit, Bella. Puffy eyes, snot on your face; don't you have a tissue in the house."

"Oh yeah, right there," she pointed to her dresser. He walked over and got her the box.

"Blow." She loudly blew out her nose not the least bit embarrassed that he was holding the tissue for her.

"Thanks."

"Is there anything you need to get off your chest?"

"I don't think he believes that it's possible I love both of them."

"That's understandable, most people probably wouldn't buy that. Anything else?"

"He doesn't understand how I could be friends with you."

"Yeah, me neither." he smiled at her.

"He asked if I wanted to be the pack whore," she started crying again.

"What? That little shit?" he started to head for the door like he was leaving.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go knock his teeth down his throat. I get it, he's pissed, but there's no excuse to talk like that to someone he claims to love."

"No, please don't...stay with me, I don't want to be alone. He apologized before he left. Chances are he and Jake are going to fight again. I don't want you fighting too."

She wasn't sure what she wanted to do, so she decided to go downstairs to the kitchen with Paul. She made them some food and asked him to watch some mindless TV with her.

"Sure whatcha have in mind?"

"Um, I don't know. I've got some episodes of The Bachelor on the dvr, will you watch with me?"

"The fucking bachelor? You watch that shit?"

"Yes, my Mom got me hooked on it when I lived with her. I know it's quite a disgusting display, but I still watch it."

"No wonder you have relationship issues," he messed up her hair.

"Cuz you, Paul Lahote are an authority on relationships?"

"I know enough that putting a group of attention-seeking women in a mansion while they vie for the affection of one douchebag, just so they can get a stupid rose does not constitute true love." He was shaking his head at her, "And don't forget they're all plowed with copious amounts of alcohol during the whole process."

"Oh my god, you watch the show."

"No I don't...maybe I've seen a few clips here and there," his voice trailed off.

"Doesn't matter, we're going to watch it so I can have a tiny bit of an escape."

They watched several episodes until Bella fell asleep on Paul's shoulder.

Bella woke up to her Dad telling Paul it was time to go.

He got up and cleared off their snacks from the coffee table.

"Talk to you later, text if you need a rescue again," was what he told her even though Charlie was in the room with them.

She felt the need to explain herself even if he wasn't going to ask.

"He helps, Dad. I don't know how or why, but he does."

"Seth was mad?"

"Very."

"He wasn't too harsh was he, because he's entitled to be angry, but I won't stand for my daughter being disrespected."

"No, Dad; it just wasn't a good afternoon, so Paul came by to cheer me up." It wouldn't do her any favors for Charlie to know what Seth had said. She fixed the two of them some dinner and she headed to bed fairly early so she could read and face tomorrow. "One down, one to go," was the thing she said before she turned off the lamp.

Dr. Thompson wrote feverishly in her little book. Bella had spilled her guts for the most part. However, she wasn't telling a soul about her private times with Jacob, that was just between them.

"Bella, something Charlie said was very relevant. You did lie dormant for 5 years. Everything going on right now is new for you. I might not agree with how you're handling it a lot of the time, but I still respect your feelings. I really believe you love both these men. Some people might not believe such things are possible, but I'm not one of them. You finally were honest with Seth and that was a huge step."

She went on to discuss Kelsee with Bella and thought it sounded nice Bella was getting to know someone from a very different background. She thought she could benefit from a lady who'd lived a long life. She sounded fascinating to her and she didn't even know the half of it. She wasn't quite sure what to make of Paul. Bella thought, "Get in line."

"Female friends and girl talk might be helpful," was some more of her advice. Bella thought she was juggling enough for the time being. She had Kate at work, and Kim and Leah, at least she hoped she still had Leah.

"Also Bella, I'd like to address your anger issues. I'm recommending you see a family practitioner. You need some new blood work. Perhaps your body chemistry has changed for some reason and some of your prescriptions need to be altered."

Bella hated blood tests, but she was use to having a few tubes of blood checked each year. They always checked her blood count, her liver, thyroid and kidney functions. Who knew maybe one day, when all the venom was gone and her body adjusted, she might not need all the medicine.

"So here's a list of doctors I recommend. Let me know who you choose and I'll forward your records as soon as you have an appointment. It's a good time to plan your next well woman, as well. You are contemplating a serious relationship, so you should go over your options with a trusted OB/GYN. Oliver is my recommendation, since I know you prefer female providers.

Bella chewed on her lip and wondered how to respond to that. It was something she'd put off a very long time.

Dr. Thompson must have noticed her hesitation. "Bella, you've had a well woman exam, before, haven't you?"

"Um, no."

"Really, I'm surprised Renee never encouraged that. Well, you're 24, sexually active or not, it's time."

"My Mom made the appointment for me when I was 19. She was certain Edward had raped me or something and that's why I was so traumatized or that I'd been pregnant and he made me have an abortion. She grasped at straws in the beginning, so I pretended to go and gave her a made up good report."

"Wow, you seem to have some deep-rooted issues with your mother, but we're out of time. Maybe we could talk more about that next time."

Bella walked out to the parking lot to find him leaning against her truck. He was truly a perfect, specimen of a man. It shouldn't even be possible that he wanted her, and she wished for one second she could have appreciated how lucky she was without worrying about all the complications. They hadn't seen each other in four days, and she was just a tiny bit tempted to run to him. He would have caught her, and lifted her up and spun her around. She had no doubt about that, but since their last moment together was a furious interchange; it seemed inappropriate. She approached with caution instead, but as soon as she got close he did open up his arms with his palms facing upwards. He was asking, so she walked into them hesitantly. He encircled her with his arms and put his face against her hair. She could hear him breathing deeply, taking in her scent. He'd told her how much it meant to him. Her arms made their way around his waist after a slight delay. He didn't say anything at first, but finally he pulled back to look at her.

"I'm so sorry, Bells. I mean it, I'm a stupid son of a bitch. Please, tell me I haven't ruined it."

"Jake, let's get in the truck. Do you want to drive?"

"Sure, sure," he opened the door and she slid into the middle spot. It might be his first clue that she was still willing.

He started the truck, he asked to see her upper arms.

She didn't know why, but then he said, "If you had a bruise, I was going to let Paul kick my ass. He said you didn't, but I had to see for myself."

"No Jacob, you didn't bruise me."

"Well, I had no right to ever hold onto you like that. I shouldn't have come to your room when I was so close to losing it."

"I'm not going to tell you it's fine, because it's not, but I believe that you're really sorry, so I hope that we can come to an agreement tonight. Where did you want to eat?"

"Oh, it's a Italian place. I really like their pizza, but they have pasta, or salads. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, anythings fine, is it quiet?"

"Very, I even called ahead to make sure we get the corner booth. The owner knows me."

It was only a couple of blocks from her therapist's office.

When they went inside, the owner came out and greeted them. He had a strong accent like he hadn't grown up in the states. He seemed to really like Jacob.

"Oh, Signore Black. I have the special table for you. Where have you been? I not see you very much anymore."

"Busy, working..." he simply stated.

"Mr. Castelli, this is Bella."

"Oh, IssaBella, I'm so happy you're here. Is this your first time here?"

"Yes," even though she wasn't Italian, she liked the way her full name sounded in a traditional Italian accent. Jacob gently squeezed her hip when he said it.

He promised to bring them out a special appetizer since it was Bella's first time. He sat them in the darkened corner of the restaurant. Bella wasn't sure Jacob would fit in the tiny booth, but he did. They were sequestered away from all the other diners. She blushed like a tomato when Mr. Castelli referred to it as the lover's table.

She felt a tiny bit twitter-patted at first, but then she was struck with a terrible thought. Did Jacob bring Nadia to this restaurant? Was this lover's table theirs? If it was, she felt like getting up and running out.

"Bells, the answer's 'no'."

"What?"

"She tried the pizza to go once and she hates it, but it's my favorite. She likes this crappy place on the other side of town. Remember he said he doesn't see me much anymore?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, does that ease your mind?"

"A little bit."

He reached under the table for her hand and rubbed his thumb along the top of her hand. "Tell me what I can do to make it up to you."

"Jake, it's not that simple."

"You're so beautiful in this light...well, you're beautiful in any light or darkness, but I really like the way you look right this moment."

He was smiling so sweetly at her and his continued to rub the soft part of her hand. She stared at his face even though she worried it was putting her in a vulnerable state of mine . She was struggling to believe that this was the exact same man that had ranted and raved in her bedroom a few nights ago.

"Have you ever been diagnosed with multiple personality disorder?" She asked as a joke, but she bet she wasn't the first to wonder.

"No, why?"

"Oh, no reason."

A waiter brought them a plate of caprese. Bella hadn't been eating hardly anything since Thanksgiving, so she was happy to try the appetizer. She left it up to Jake to order his favorite, since he knew what was really good, but she did ask for a salad.

"So was Charlie rough on you?"

"Yes, but I deserved it. The man does love his daughter and I can't fault him for that. It's just hard to be sincere when I have to lie to protect the pack. I'm sure it's confusing to him, especially since; well, you know Bells, but I don't want to talk about her. I've been issued a few warnings, but I'll earn back his respect, I promise."

"Jacob, I need to tell you a few things."

"Okay, but let's wait. I want to enjoy this date with you first before we get into all the complicated stuff."

"So, you think we're on a date?"

"Lover's table, holding hands and..." he leaned over to give her a gentle kiss on the lips. "Yeah, date."

She shook her head in disbelief, having no idea how he'd turned everything around so quickly. She reached up to pull his neck to let him know she needed another kiss. He was more than eager to give her what she wanted and it was easy to pretend they were completely alone in the hideaway booth. The waiter cleared his throat to interrupt them. Their food had arrived. They really enjoyed the meal and each other's presence for the next half hour or so.

She'd given him the real date he wanted. She wanted it too, but it was his idea. It was time to face the truth. "Jacob, I told Seth the truth about us."

"Well, that's good. It's better that way. I'm sure he was hurt, but better now than down the road when he became even more attached."

"Jake, it's not that simple. I still love Seth."

Even in the dim candlelight she could see the hurt in his eyes.

"Jacob, I know we've never said it, but I thought I was pretty obvious. I...I, um, you," she wasn't making any sense.

"I know Bells, I love you too...so much."

She let out an exaggerated breath, "You see why it's so complicated. I love you Jake." He grabbed her face and planted another kiss on her mouth.

"I love you, Bella Swan."

"But I meant what I said, Jake. I also love Seth. That is why I've been going crazy these past few weeks."

"How'd he react?"

"He's furious."

"So that's it, he broke up with you?"

"I don't know, but I asked if I could try seeing both of you for now until I figure it all out."

"What?" he was confused. "That'll never work, so no, I'm not agreeing to that."

"How different is it than what's going on right now?"

"Bella, you and I both know that you love me more. It isn't going to ease Seth's pain to perform this experiment."

"Who said I love you more? Love is love; I don't know what to do right now, I need some more time."

He rolled his eyes. "So you'll make a schedule, Seth gets Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday? I get the extra day of the week, of course, but what if he wants a Saturday?"

"No, I didn't plan on a schedule? Jake, you are starting to annoy me. And while we're talking, do not under any circumstance come to my room anymore."

His hand slipped down to her jean clad thigh and he started to move it up and down. "You don't mean that. I know how much you enjoy those visits. I don't want them to stop," he breathed his hot breath into her ear.

She had loved every second of those late night encounters, but it wouldn't be fair to Seth and it clouded her judgment. Not to mention, that she felt like shit every time he left her to go home to Nadia. If he wanted her to be patient and give him a chance to break his imprint which she was now even more stressed about, then he had to abide by her request.

"Jacob, I'm even more worried than ever about the imprint."

"That I can' t break it? I can. When are you going to believe in me?"

"Not that, but Kelsee said it's going to be dangerous."

"Bells, she's going overboard about that. Come on, she's old. Old people worry too much. I'll be fine and when it happens, I'll be yours. That's the reason, I don't get what you're doing with Seth."

It didn't do them any good, to keep going back and forth. Jacob had at least been calmer than Seth, but he didn't hide the fact he thought this was the stupidest idea in history. He went up front and paid the check and had a short talk with the owner. He told Bella he expected to see her often now. She wondered what Jacob told him about the two of them. He seemed to believe they were a real couple. Why wouldn't he? They'd acted like it since they walked in the door.

She was completely caught off guard that Seth was waiting on the porch when Jacob pulled in the driveway. She was extremely anxious about getting out of the truck. She knew Charlie would have zero tolerance for another fight.

She and Jacob both walked towards the porch ready to face whatever he had for them.

"If this is going to work, I want some rules," Seth stood up to meet them on the lawn.

"Rules, like what?" Jacob replied.

"For starters, no sex," Seth stared at Jacob.

"Why are you directing that to me? You have way more notches on your belt than I do, bro?"

"Jake," she wanted him to shut up, but she couldn't help but wonder if that was an accurate statement. Seth didn't deny it, he just looked pissed. It didn't matter to her, but she truly expected it had been the other way around.

Seth was shaking his head, his jaw was clenched. One more word from Jake and Bella knew he'd snap.

"Next rule's mine: No fighting. I swear it, I'll never see either one of you again, if you do," she let them both know.

"So, where do you we go from here?" was Seth's next question.

"It's not that different, Seth. I was hanging out with you: having dinner, watching TV, going out and you knew I would go on hikes and drives with Jacob. It'll be like that, I guess."

"Only difference is I didn't know you two were being romantic on the outings."

"We weren't."

"But you will be now, that is what I have to accept now, right?"

"I'm not forcing you to accept anything. I just want to be honest, Seth. I will tell you the truth, Jake kissed me the day he told me about the wolves. So to answer your questions, yes, he and I have romantic feelings towards one another. I know he's bound to Nadia and it should have been enough to keep me from getting involved, but it didn't." She turned to Jacob next, "Jake, I didn't like being separated from Seth. You thought I was going to break up with him for good, but I missed him. I truly do have strong feelings for you both of you. I know this is an odd request. It's downright crazy and I don't intend to tell anyone else what we're doing. It stays between the three of us, so are you both in agreement? Are you going to try this for awhile?"

"Okay, I'll try," Seth surprisingly spoke up first.

"Sure, Bells, if this is what you need right now. I just don't want to lose you," Jacob added.

"Now the only thing left is for the two of you to shake on it." They both turned to look at her with frowns on their faces. She watched the two big, tan hands slap together. It wasn't a friendly shake, by all means. It looked extremely painful, but the deal was sealed. Who knew how long it would last or what would happen. Call her crazy, plenty of people had over the years, but she was so happy. She truly believed it was the right decision for all of them.

**_Questions, comments? I love to hear from all of you. Will it work or will it get even more messy? So the 25 chapter goal has officially been tossed out the window, there's no way I can pull that off. It might be a little bit of a wait for the next update. I have to brush up on some history and come up with some beautiful Native American names, because we're going back in time. It's time you all know why imprinting sucks. It wasn't suppose to, so what altered the destinies of these Quileutes protectors?_**


	19. Chapter 19

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephanie Meyer**_

Chapter 18

Paul was sitting on the edge of Bella's bed and she was stretched out on her stomach next to him while he surfed the Internet. The bedroom door was wide open per Charlie's request. Funny that she'd just gotten two men to essentially both agree to be her boyfriend, but she was spending her first evening since the agreement, with Paul.

"Don't you dare go on any porn sites on my laptop," she warned him.

"Please, I make my own porn, so nor worries. I don't need it."

"Now you on the other hand, perhaps should do some research, since you're in a polyamorous situation."

"I am not. I'm just being honest about my feelings. Jacob and Seth are giving me the freedom to sort them out. We aren't having a threesome, so get that ridiculous look off your face. You're making me feel dirty."

"I never would have pegged you to be so kinky, but damn." He was purposely trying to make her uncomfortable.

"Stop it, Paul," she rolled over and sat up, shoving him to knock that smirk off his face.

"I'm only joking with you, hummingbird. We all know this is going to fail miserably. I give it three weeks tops."

"And then what do you think will happen?"

"I don't know, something bad," he sounded ominous.

"What should I do?"

"You're really willing to take my advice?"

"Maybe," she trusted him even when it didn't make sense.

"Well...I can't give it. I do want Jacob to break his imprint, but Seth doesn't deserve what you and Jake are most likely going to do to him."

Bella knew she had sworn them all to secrecy, but Paul knew the entire story. He didn't count as the outside world.

"Why'd you call me 'hummingbird'?"

"Um, no reason, just you're small and I read something once about the hummingbird spirit animal, it fits you. Why? Do you not want me to?"

"No, I like it, but I need a nickname for you."

"That's easy, 'sexy beast', you can call me that anytime."

"How about, No! I'll think on it, and one day, the perfect name will come to me," she pictured finding it in a novel, but who knew.

Paul told Bella he had to get going. He said he'd spent all his days with her recently and then he said, "I have places to go, and women to see and do."

She didn't want to get into that conversation with him, so she would see him Thursday for the tree shopping. It seemed with her schedule this week, she wasn't going to have time for Jacob or Seth til the weekend. Even though they shook on the deal, neither of them had made an attempt to see her, so she wasn't sure who would ask first to hang out. What if neither of them did? She was taking advantage of the few days to get herself centered. She'd been all over the place, and suddenly she felt like she could take a deep breath and relax.

Bella came in from school the next day and started dinner right away. Charlie could reheat it, she didn't expect him in til after 5 and she'd be at Kelsee's. She had a feeling she might be awhile and she regretted never telling Charlie about her. She was going to leave a note, and say she was visiting a new friend on the reservation, and not to worry.

She tried to imagine what Kelsee might tell her. She guessed she was going to tell her how she came to be involved with the Quileute tribe. She had this eerie feeling she was also connected to her but how, she didn't know. She went inside to find Kelsee pouring two mugs of tea. "Not the tea," she thought.

"Come on Isabella, it's good, not what you've had in the past."

Bella sat at the very tiny table with her and tentatively tasted the tea after sniffing it first. It had a slight herbal smell, nothing pungent at all. They both took a few sips and Bella smiled, "Thank you, it's really nice. So, you have a story for me?"

"More than a story, I'll reveal all of it, but Isabella, you can't tell anyone what I reveal to you. It has to stay between us."

"Okay," she instantly agreed, not knowing what might be said. She wondered if she'd be tempted to run and tell Jake or Seth, but she wouldn't be able to do that.

"Drink a little more tea, and then I think you should lie back on the cot. I'm going to help you visualize the story. Some of it will not seem possible, so I need you to have an open mind. You must clear away all other thoughts, and I know you are very preoccupied with your two spirit warriors, but I'm trusting you."

Bella sipped her tea and then went to the cot. She looked back at Kelsee who was pushing a chair next to her. "Go ahead and lie back and give me your hand, your left arm, not the one tainted by a cold one."

Bella took a deep breath and stared up at the dingy ceiling. Kelsee started talking, but as she did, she ran two of her fingers up from Bella's wrist and along each of her fingers on her palm. She started at her thumb and moved on to each finger in a very unique and uniform rhythm.

"It's something my aunt taught me long ago, it'll help all the words stick and you'll remember everything I say, because it's important you never forget any of it."

Kelsee was right, there was absolutely nothing else on her mind except the sound of her voice.

"How much do you know about your ancestors?"

Bella wasn't sure, it wasn't something she had thought about, but once she thought she remembered Charlie mentioning the Civil War. "I think maybe after the Civil War, they ended up in Washington," she answered.

"It was right before, in the year 1860. Frederick Swan embarked on a journey with his wife and young son along the Oregon Trail. He'd made the tough decision to leave his brothers and sisters, as well as his ailing mother to try his luck in the current gold rush that had been taking place up and down the Pacific since gold was first discovered some 12 years prior."

Bella was still focusing, as Kelsee continued rubbing patterns on her palm. Was Kelsee some major history buff or something? How'd she know details like that, when she was certain Charlie or even his parents never knew that much? She briefly took her focus off the ceiling and turned to look at Kelsee's bright eyes.

Kelsee nodded and told her, "Keep listening, this is merely the background." Bella went back to her original position.

"The Swan's didn't have a whole lot of luck with striking it rich, so Frederick had to find work, especially since a second child was on the way. He had farmed back in Virginia with his brother's, but he got offered work in the logging industry. The demand for timber was high due to the various gold rushes and the continuous influx of settlers."

She told Bella they were content in their new home and soon a daughter was born. Everything was good for them until Frederick started to get word from home. His brothers were begging him to return to join them in their fight. Washington was still a territory at the time and the war that had broken out seemed like a world away except for Frederick, who'd learned that he'd lost his eldest brother in battle. He made the decision to leave behind his wife and two children. Evelyn begged him not to go, but he was confident she'd be taken care of, since they were close to several of the nearby neighbors and he knew they'd watch out for his family. He promised her he'd return soon.

Bella had listened attentively for awhile, but she finally interrupted. "How do you know all these details?"

"Patience, Isabella," she stopped rubbing her hand. "Do you need a break?"

"No, I'm sorry. Please continue."

"There were a lot of tribes in this area as you probably know from the history books. Relations between settlers during that time were mostly amicable. One day, Evelyn had an encounter with a Native man, he'd helped her after he saw her take a tumble down an embankment." Bella smiled hearing that clumsiness ran in the family. "He'd been hunting in the area. She wasn't frightened by him at all, in fact she couldn't stop thinking about him. She'd had the same affect on him. He made frequent trips near her cabin in hopes of catching a glimpse of the beautiful blue-eyed woman. It was something that would have never been accepted by either side. He was a transplant into the Quileute tribe. His original tribe was Chimakum but they'd been absorbed into other tribes or had died out. Even though the white settlers were friendly to the Quileutes, there were expectations especially where women were concerned. Evelyn and the young man, Iiniwa began a secret and forbidden affair. It went on for several months. Just about the time Evelyn discovered she was with child, she got word; Frederick had possibly been killed. His brother Thomas had lost contact with him for weeks. She was extremely distraught for many reasons. First of all, she had loved her husband and was devastated he might be dead, but she had no idea how she could ever explain her pregnancy. Frederick had clearly been gone at least 9 months and she couldn't have been more that a couple of months along. Then there was the fact that as soon as the baby arrived all her sins would have been revealed. Evelyn was light skinned with light brown hair and blue eyes. This child would most certainly have traits of the father and she wouldn't be able to hid it."

Bella felt sympathetic towards Evelyn. She too knew how conflicting it was to love more than one man and hopeless romantic she was, she knew she must have truly loved Iiniwa to ever take such a risk. Kelsee said they did their best to hide the pregnancy. It helped that a hard winter hit that year and most people stayed indoors as much as possible. Iiniwa saw to it that Evelyn and her children had plenty of wood and food to last them during the cold months. A few weeks before her time, a telegraph came through from Frederick. He was not dead, but had been a prisoner. He assured her he was coming back to them, but it would have to wait til spring, because the entire country was suffering a harsh winter. That was it, Evelyn had to make a decision. Iiniwa said it deeply troubled her, but she felt there was no other choice, she could not dishonor her husband and children. When she went into labor, Iiniwa brought his sister to attend to her. His sister had also given birth only a few weeks prior. She was a recent widow, as well. Her husband had come down with a mysterious fever and died suddenly a few months before her son was born. She had been in seclusion and some people didn't even realize she'd already given birth. Her name was Nukpana and as soon Evelyn birthed her daughter, she entrusted her to Nukpana. Evelyn refused to even look at the child.

"That was the last time Evelyn and Iiniwa ever saw one another. Nukpana came out of seclusion weeks later with her twins, a son named Keme and a daughter, Kelesoyala whose name meant sparrow, in the winter solstice," Kelsee stopped the movement of her fingers and waited to see if Bella understood.

She knew the minute the name came out of her mouth. It wasn't possible, but in the world Bella lived in, she knew possibilities didn't matter. "You, Kelsee, you're Kelesoyala, aren't you?"

"Yes, Isabella, we have the same blood running through our veins."

"But how? What year was that?"

"1863."

Bella didn't do the exact math, but she said, "How can you be 150 years old?"

"That's the rest of the story, it's where it gets very painful for me. Do you want to hear it all now?"

"Yes, of course, I do. You can't stop there. Please continue."

Bella was trying to figure out what the relation she would have been, something like a great times six Aunt. She wasn't sure. Most people didn't trace their ancestors back so far.

"I was accepted as Nukpana's child, I looked much like her except for the eyes. There were some very weird superstitions about that and I didn't understand why til I was older. My aunt taught me she had certain gifts which many people believed were from bad spirits. Her name even meant 'evil' in some tongues. It wasn't long before I found out I inherited those gifts. The reality was, I had even more powers than my aunt. Both she and my father, who I had to pretend was my uncle, forced me to keep them hidden. I had a gift of sight into the future. I had no control over it, but I saw many things before they happened." Bella thought about Alice and wondered if it was like that. "My aunt taught me never to interfere with the visions. I could cause damage tenfold, if I ever tried to intervene. I had to accept whatever the visions were."

"From a young age I had a companion. He and I were best friends. His name was Kiyiya and I knew one day he'd be my husband. His father was the spiritual leader of the tribe and he didn't trust my family. He knew we were originally outsiders, and for some reason he was very suspicious of me and my aunt. His name was Cheveyo. My father told me to stay away from him, he was always trying to ask me questions and to get a good look at me. I didn't care, I still was going to be with Kiyiya. One day, when Kiyiya was 18, he became very ill. He had a raging temperature and I was worried, knowing what had happened to my uncle. It was even worse when I realized he'd been hidden away somewhere. Honiahaka, a very tall and muscular man that acted like he was some sort of gift to the whole tribe, was the one who'd hidden my love from me. They disappeared for weeks. I tried to use my gift to figure out where they were, but the only vision I ever received were wolves, which made no sense to me. A few weeks later, my father told me that Kiyiya was coming back but I had to stay away from him. Of course, I didn't listen. Once I got the chance, I went out in the night and met him in one of our secret places at the stream in the woods. It's actually really close less than a mile from where this shack is."

Bella continued to listen carefully. This whole tale was the most beautiful love story she'd ever heard. She'd never even read anything similar. It had so much going on, she was completely enthralled. She had no idea over an hour had already passed while Kelsee told her love story. "So you two found each other and reunited. He had a fever, had he phased? Is that what happened?"

Kelsee chuckled, "Yes, child; Kiyiya was a spirit warrior. I found out there had not been a pack in a very long time and that meant danger was soon to follow. We met up at the stream and when I saw him, I barely recognized him. He'd practically grown a foot and was solid muscle, but when I saw his face, I knew he was still my one and only love. As I made my way closer, I noticed he was caught in some kind of trance. He actually fell to his knees before me, so I joined him on the ground. I didn't know what had happened, all I knew is that I loved him even more. After a few minutes, he lifted me up and carried me away to a private place. He and I sealed our bond before I even realized what it meant. He was the most caring and perfect lover any woman could ever desire."

Bella said it first, "Imprint, you were his imprint."

"Yes, and it was beautiful. We were so in love even before, the imprint only intensified it."

The imprint sounded amazing to Bella, like the story the elders told. Why had it not been like this for Jacob and his pack?

Kelsee started to change her demeanor. She looked sad soon after telling Bella about the imprint. "Cheveyo hated the fact we were imprinted and there was nothing he could do about it. He sent spies to follow me around and one day, the truth was found out about who my mother really was. It was so stupid of me, but I'd gotten my father to tell me a little about her since I knew I could never meet her. Cheveyo summoned me to his dwelling and threatened me and my family. He said he'd found out the Swan family still resided in Forks and he would out Evelyn as well if I didn't leave and go far away. No one told me what would happen to the wolf without his imprint. I feared for my family, the tribal elders didn't like my aunt already. I also wanted to protect the Swan's. I didn't want them to suffer such shame on my account, so I made a plan to leave but only for a short while. I thought I'd get back to Kiyiya soon and we'd still be together."

That is when the first of many tears escaped Kelsee's eyes. Bella somehow knew something bad was going to happen. "After several weeks passed, Kiyiya become weak and sick. His father tried all kinds of remedies on him but nothing worked. In the meantime I started having dreams of a man and woman with red eyes. They began to become torturous and I myself was starting to feel ill, so I finally found transport back to the Quileutes. I had been hiding out in Canada. It took a long time to find my way back, but when I did, I found the tribe in mourning. Several people had been slaughtered by the two cold ones from my visions. Honiahaka was finally able to destroy both of them, but Kiyiya was one of the casualties. Instead of being strong like his alpha, he'd been incredibly weak because of our separation and the female vampire crushed him in her grip. He died despite all his father's healing powers. He'd even called on my Aunt and her pauwau powers to save him, but nothing worked. He blamed me and put a curse on me that I would walk the earth for an insurmountable amount of time, so I could suffer even longer than a normal lifetime. He added that I'd not die until finally an appointed soul would come into the world and I would be released. Of course, I wanted to die the second I knew my love was gone, but it couldn't happen. I don't know where Cheveyo got his power from since he'd always accused Nukpana of being mixed with dark spirits. The reason I knew I couldn't die is I tried, many times and nothing killed me. Any destruction I caused myself would instantly heal. I wasn't going to let them all get by with what I believed was all their faults. I blamed the entire tribe for never truly accepting my family. I worked long and hard with my aunt and finally derived my own curse. She encouraged me to seek my revenge."

"I stood upon the highest elevation of the reservation and swore in the moonlight one summer night. 'From this day forward, any young spirit warrior that is intended to imprint and find his perfect mate, will forever be cursed'. I yelled towards the sea. 'May she bring him heartache, misery and despair. She will not be a blessing but she will curse the wolf all the days of his miserable life'. If I had lost my imprint, my perfect mate; then I didn't want any of them to be happy."

Bella pulled her hand back. She had to digest what her ears had just heard. How was it possible? Kelsee was helping them, but now she was trying to come to grips with the fact it was all her fault. "How could you?" She pushed herself up and got up off the bed. She felt her breathing pick up. "Jake, you're the reason he's stuck with Nadia. What are you trying to do? Are you really wanting to help him or is this a trick?"

"Isabella, remember when you felt the connection to me? You said you knew you could trust me. You can. What happened was so long ago. I was a grieving young woman, practically a child still. I've been trying to find away to rectify what I'd done for many decades. I revisited the Quileutes many times because of it. I was there during Ephraim's pack. That's when I knew what I'd done was so wrong."

"So his pack had bad imprints?"

"Yes, two of them were imprinted with horrible mates for life."

"Why didn't the council tell the pack the truth?"

"That's how I knew someone changed the archives. The real truth wasn't recorded."

Bella couldn't understand how Kelsee could come in and out of different generations, so she asked, "Can you alter your appearance?"

"Yes, I can appear any age I need to in order to fit in. I haven't made myself a young woman since I was around in Old Quil's and William Sr.'s time. I've grown old naturally since then, but left for years until Billy and Harry were young men."

"Do you look like me at all?" Bella asked.

"A little bit, but I favor my father's side more. I don't intend to look that way ever again until I'm reunited with Kiyiya in the afterlife. The look on your face shows how disappointed you are, but I believe you are the key to making this all right."

"Me? Why me?" Bella couldn't imagine why Kelsee thought such a thing.

"Because many years ago I had a vision about you as an infant. I came back to the area and saw your mother Renee heavily pregnant with you. I hung around hoping you were the soul, that was predicted; but alas, you were born and I lived on. That is why I now believe you will bear the child that will release me from my earthly prison."

"No, that can't be right. I'm not even sure I'll have kids. I love them, and that's why I teach, but I swear I'd probably be a terrible Mom. I have too many issues."

"No, you're wrong."

"How do you know? Have you had more visions?"

"I can't tell you that. I told you I don't intervene in people's futures," she reminded her.

"Then why are you telling me this story?" Bella thought this sounded exactly like Kelsee was trying to mess with her future.

"It's an exception I decided to make after I found out you were infected with venom, but this is all I intend to reveal, besides visions aren't greatly detailed."

"My friend, Alice...um Alice Cullen had visions, she said they were subjective and people could change their minds."

Kelsee made a painful face hearing about Bella referring to a cold one as a friend, "Your cold one most likely interfered with the outcomes, I have no doubt her visions were not to be trusted. Who knows the trouble she would have brought you if you'd stayed mixed up with that family."

"So what if I do have a child one day, what will that mean if he or she is the one?" Was Bella finally ready to believe she could help the pack?

"I'll be at peace and the curse will be broken."

"Will the imprints be broken as well?"

"I don't believe so, those will have to be deliberately broken, but the ones yet to be made would be the true imprints."

She was trying to understand what that meant. "None of these imprints were meant to be?"

"No, that doesn't mean they're not real, remember they're the curse; the blessing exists somewhere if I'm no longer here. You must know one more thing, I came back to stay after this generation of wolves were coming into the world. I saw how large the pack would be, never had it been anywhere close to ten. I hoped more than ever the curse would be broken."

"Quil is imprinted to a young child, for God's sake and Sam is guilt ridden because of Emily. She holds it over him. Jacob is with a psycho bitch who was a con artist and a whore. I swear to you though, you're cursed is messed up because Kim is a good person. She might not be very intelligent or attractive, but she is devoted to Jared. She doesn't try and manipulate him." Bella felt the need to describe the dire situation in detail.

"Maybe there's some truth to that, I've met the young girl. She did, however, cause much misery for Jared in the beginning. He had dreamed of a very different life, but you're right. I don't believe he has any intention of trying to break his imprint. Samuel and Quil have already spoken to me. If their alpha is successful, they intend to follow his lead."

"Will anymore imprint?" it was a question she really needed answered.

She avoided looking at Bella again. It was one more thing she didn't want to interfere with.

"Well, do you know?" she pleaded.

"Three more will imprint," she whispered.

"Three, how's that possible? It's suppose to be rare. That's half of who's left. NO!" Bella yelled knowing how huge the odds were against Seth. She even worried about Paul. None of them deserved it, and since Kelsee was alive; they'd all be cursed imprints.

"Who? Tell me which ones, you owe them that."

"No, maybe I do but I don't know, only the number. I don't know the wolf," she looked out of breath like she might collapse, but Bella knew she would be fine since she couldn't die.

"Kelsee, I really do feel for you. It's horrible what you suffered, but I still don't think I'm going to help. I'm nobody...I'm not Quileute. I'm under the care of a doctor for mental illness. I've made a mess of both Jacob's and Seth's lives. I can't help this pack. I'm sorry." She felt like she should leave, but instead she asked, "Can I ask you something else? I know it's irrelevant to what's happening right now, but I want to know."

"Yes, what is it, my dear?"

"Did you ever love again?"

"No, never."

"You never married or had children?"

"No."

"But what about Quil's grandfather? That's what Leah said, that you had an affair with him. That's why he's so against you, because you tried to ruin his marriage."

Kelsee couldn't help but laugh, "That old fool wishes, he spread those rumors. I never gave him the time of day expect fishing for answers about who doctored the history books for the tribe."

Bella decided it was time to leave. She had so much stuff to figure out. "What am I suppose to do with this information?"

"Keep it to yourself and stay true to your heart. Isabella, the choices you face will be difficult, but you can't let fear rule over you or we'll all continue to suffer. I promise I will still continue to help Jacob and any one of the young men that want to break their imprints, but there are still no guarantees."

"And I suppose you can't tell me who I'm suppose to choose?"

"No, I cannot."

Bella left her distant relative feeling extreme sorrow for the life she'd been dealt, but there was still some residual anger. All this was her fault, or maybe it was Cheveyo's fault; but he was no longer around to blame. There were many others at fault: Evelyn, and Kelsee's aunt. She'd obviously misguided Kelsee at one point in time and how could Eveyln Swan give away her baby daughter without even seeing her one time? Bella went to bed that night thinking about those three men who still had yet to meet their imprints. She still doubted Kelsee, that she, herself, had any bearing on the future. She wasn't about to go out and purposely get pregnant, hoping that it might be the child to break both curses. She had to keep this all to herself; that much she knew. It wasn't easy to fall asleep that night and many more restless nights would follow as Bella struggled with what path she should take.

_**~Thanks so much for reading. Whew...this one tired me out. Love to hear your thoughts. Did anyone expect this? **_


	20. Chapter 20

**_Thanks so much for the responses to Kelsee's story. _**

**_Angst warning: this whole fic has that warning, but the end of this one is well...you'll see._**

Chapter 19

Bella was waiting for Paul and Kim to pick her up. She had given Paul a stern warning about how he was to behave with Kim. In the past, he had been quite mean to her. Although, he was usually sly about his insults and Kim didn't always get that he was making fun of her. Bella let him know, all that would change now that she and Kim had become friends. He promised he'd be on his best behavior, but Bella knew Paul's best was less than gracious.

She had slept terribly, barely slept was more accurate. How was she supposed to process everything she'd learned, all the while keep it completely to herself? During the school day, Seth made contact. He left a few messages, and she thought he seemed like his normal self. He wanted to know if she'd come over Saturday. He meant to his house, not Sue's. He wanted her to see the progress he'd made during all his free time. She called him on her break and he reminded her that he still did not have a working kitchen so she volunteered to bring a picnic basket. They'd share an indoor picnic in December, since it would be the 1st of the month. He said he'd take her to Kelsee's later that day, which they both hoped would be her last treatment. She was looking forward to see the last bit of venom burn in the fire. He also mentioned that the last few weeks of football season were important since the Seahawks were in the playoff hunt. How could she forget such a thing? Of course, she hadn't because she heard her Dad on the phone with Billy rambling on about it a few times a week. She promised she'd be up to have their small informal get together. She had enjoyed most of those Sundays, but the prospect of the season dragging on didn't excite her as much as it did the men. He also said he invited Randy, but he immediately declined. Seth thought maybe it was intimidating for him to be at Charlie's. Bella knew otherwise, as to why Randy would probably never go over there again. Who knew what Jake had said to him?

Kim had texted and said they were just leaving the reservation and would be there soon. Her next text came from Jacob. He asked her out for Friday. Could he and Seth possibly have gone over a schedule without consulting her? She thought it was suspicious that Seth called for Saturday and a few hours later Jacob asked for Friday, but it didn't matter. As long as they weren't fighting, she was okay with it. Of course, she wasn't sure about how Jacob asked her out. It really wasn't asking at all.

**tomorrow...ill pick u up at 7, wear something nice**

If they were going someplace, she knew it wasn't around Forks. He didn't tell her where. She was contemplating asking but she heard Paul out front honking, so she dropped it and decided to be surprised.

"Hey, guys...I'm excited. I've got the space for the tree all ready and the decorations are sitting out."

Kim was excited when she said, "I decorated last night."

"So you already have a tree?" Paul asked her.

"Yeah, I have to do artificial because I have allergies," Kim responded.

Paul said, "Of course you do," and Bella poked him in the ribs the first of many times.

Kim eyed them curiously, "Huh?"

"I mean, that sucks...sorry." Paul gently poked her back.

Paul drove and Bella sat in the middle. The farm was a good 30 or 40 miles from Charlie's and the drive was lulling her to sleep.

"You sleepy, hummingbird?"

"Yeah, I had a restless night."

"Oh, well, you can rest your head on my shoulder. If Kim wasn't here, I'd even let you lie down in my lap," he stated with both eyebrows moving up and down.

Kim was starting to look distressed. Paul was having a ball carrying on with her. Bella knew Kim wasn't going to gossip about them, but she didn't want her to be misled.

"He's joking, Kim. I would never do that."

"Um, sure, I know," Kim forced herself to laugh.

The second poke hit between Paul's ribs.

"I didn't know you two were such good friends. How'd that happen?"

"To be perfectly honest, Kim. Bella, who I affectionately call my little hummingbird knows how to treat a man."

Kim's mouth slightly hung open. And she didn't respond.

"He means, I cook, Kim. You know how these guys are about food?" Bella quickly swept away the innuendo he'd left.

"Oh, okay."

"Hey, I'm offended. You're making me sound shallow, hummingbird. I'm with you for many other reasons."

Next poke and her finger started to hurt. She'd have to be careful or she'd jam the joint. "You are not with me," she clarified.

"Yes I am, I'm with you right now." Smartass, he didn't know when to quit.

"Forget it, can we change the subject, please? For the record Kim, Paul and I are friends. I'm sure you are the first of many that won't exactly get that, but we're just friends. Next topic, I think I know what tree I want."

"Oh, which one?" Kim asked.

"I want the grand fir, most likely 7 feet since Charlie doesn't have especially high ceilings. He grows them, right? I checked out his website," she asked Paul.

"I guess so, why that one?" was his response.

"It's known for being very fragrant almost like citrus and it has a really rich, green color." Bella turned to Kim. "What about your allergies, Kim? Can you still help me decorate it?"

"Oh sure, it's fine. I only start having a problem if I'm around it all the time. My parents use to get so mad at me for sniffling and sneezing during the holidays. They had real trees, and told me it was all in my head when I was growing up. Jared was the first one that figured it out, when I moved in with him. He tossed our first little tree out the door when he realized the affect it had on me." Kim always had such an affectionate look in her eyes when she spoke of Jared. Bella was happy that Jared would never break his imprint with her.

Soon, they arrived at the farm and Bella found her perfect tree in about 15 minutes. Paul was happy to cut it down himself. What a show off, she thought as he made look so effortless. He was definitely all man. She had once felt sorry for all those women used by Paul, but now she kinda felt disdain for them. She doubted a single one of them deserved him even if they were only providing him with a purely, physical encounter. She wanted more for him and wondered how long it'd take to convince him to give dating a try. Could she convince him to find someone that was willing to be in a relationship with him, a real relationship that didn't include sex in the first half hour of being introduced? It was a goal she'd set in the recesses of her mind, but she couldn't let him know or he'd run from her and she'd never catch up to him again.

Paul got the tree situated on the stand and then left so Kim and Bella could decorate in peace. They worked tirelessly for the next two hours before Jared arrived to take Kim home. It was late for a work night. Charlie had already gone to bed. He was very pleased with their hard work even though he hadn't seen the finished product yet.

* * *

Bella had an especially good day at school, the principal informed her she would be the replacement Kindergarten teacher when Kate left after spring break and she'd finish out the year in that position. They were even doing a slight pay adjustment for her as well, those last couple of months. She wasn't sure what she'd do with the extra money. Charlie rarely let her spend any of her own money. She'd offered many times to pay a utility or give him rent money. He always refused. She mostly spent it on groceries and books. By the time the summer rolled around, she'd have a nice little savings account built up. If she stayed in Forks, it made sense that she should get her own place before the next school term started. She'd soon turn 25 after that and it was time. Charlie would put up a fuss because of how much he worried about her health, but she'd still be over all the time.

Bella had decided to go with a belted black and teal dress her Mom sent her on her birthday. She'd never worn it before, it wasn't exactly Kindergarten attire. She had a long, dressy black jacket that went with it, since the dress had a border of black flowers at the hem. The dress had a scooped neckline and was a little shorter than she felt comfortable in, but she added black lace tights. Renee had sent her heels as well and they would have gone nicely with the outfit, but she grabbed a pair of dark gray flats instead. One step at a time; the clothing was a little out of her comfort zone, and the heels would have pushed her over the edge. She sat down with Charlie while he ate. He stared at her a while before finally bringing up the obvious. "Where you going tonight, Bells? You look...um you really look nice."

"Thanks Dad, I don't know. Jake planned something."

He shifted his mustache side to side, she knew he wanted to ask more questions.

"Is that it? You and Jake are going to date and he still refuses to leave that woman?"

"Dad," she exhaled. "It's not like that."

"It isn't, then tell me what it is."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know, okay. I'm going to spend some time with Jake tonight, that's it."

"Tell me more about your new friend," he conveniently changed the subject.

"Oh Kelsee, yeah she's very interesting."

"Kelsee, the old woman?"

"Yes, you know her?"

"I know Billy and Old Quil call her a trouble maker."

"Really, Dad, she's extremely old," Older than Charlie would guess. "How much trouble can she cause?"

"And what do you have in common with her?" was his next question.

"More than you'd imagine," was her cryptic answer.

"Okay, I guess that's nice Bells. I'm sure you make her day, when you visit. So many people forget the elderly. Nothing sadder than when I get a call about one that's died at home, all alone. Sometimes weeks pass before anyone notices. I've had more than my fair share of calls like that."

A soft knock was soon heard at the front door. Bella jumped up, kissed her Dad on the cheek and grabbed her jacket off the back of the couch. She took a deep breath, smoothed out her dress and slowly opened the door like it wasn't a big deal. She was face to face with the most handsome version of Jacob Black she'd ever seen. How was it possible, he could make himself look better, but he did.

"Bells, you look great," he said as his eyes traveled from the top of her head down to her little, gray flats. Even his gaze warmed her up, she didn't even have touch him to feel his heat.

"Jake, you look amazing." She wondered how he'd walked out of the house looking like that without Nadia losing her shit. He didn't appear to be bleeding anywhere, so maybe she hadn't seen him. He had on dark navy pants, and a burgundy button down, collared shirt. The perfect number of buttons were left unbuttoned to expose that section of his chest that every woman would love to run their hand along. His sleeves were also rolled up to a three-quarter length. Jacob must have realized the two of them had stood in the doorway staring at each other long enough.

"Ready, to go?"

"Sure," she told him. She waved and yelled, "Bye Dad."

"Bye Charlie, we'll be back at a respectable hour. Have a good night."

Charlie simply waved and didn't answer either of them

Jacob had brought his Charger, he helped Bella inside and the two drove off.

"Okay, enough mystery. Where are we going Jake?"

"There's an art walk tonight in Port Angeles. The gallery sponsors it for all sorts of artists, up and coming and some well known ones. There's food and wine, we can take our time and walk around looking at the booths. I think some are set up in the houses near by. It all takes place in the harbor district."

It sounded very different and exciting, and something she never would have expected from him. However, she did know he was creative and loved to draw. Her thoughts started to quickly run a muck, as usual. She was doing it again and he knew exactly what she was thinking.

"Bells, you can't do this every time we're together. Okay? The answer is 'no' again. She and I have nothing in common. We've never been to an art walk. So you can stop asking every time."

"Well, you have at least one thing in common." Ugh, her stomach soured at that thought.

"Really, Bells...please don't do this."

"I'm sorry I can't help it. I don't know what I'm suppose to say. I know you aren't with her by choice, but it doesn't lessen the pain of knowing you're with her each and every night."

Jacob tried to explain it a little better to her, "It's like I'm in segments. I've learned to detach myself from my body; and the wolf, when I walk through the door. I'm there only because of the pull. Trust me, there's no intimate or tender moments any longer. That only lasted a short while in the beginning. You coming into my life changed everything." Was it suppose to make her feel better his sex life wasn't particularly intimate?

"Just not enough. Your wolf doesn't like me."

"No, that's not it at all, Bells. That's what's so strange, yes, his need for the imprint is evident; but when I'm with you, he's very content. He doesn't fight me. When I was first imprinted and other women came around me or hit on me, he became agitated and I'd immediately leave those situations. That's never once happened around you."

"Jake, I love you...I'm sorry I started off our date with an inquisition. I wouldn't be surprised if you wanted to take me home."

"No, of course not; I love you too Bells." He rubbed her hand. She had forgotten he'd grabbed onto it when she first started their strained conversation.

She made the decision to push down the doubts and insecurities she had about Nadia. If she was going to give Jacob a chance, and believe in him like he asked; she had to quit bringing her up. She was so glad she finally did just that, because the art walk proved to be one of the best times she'd ever spent with Jake. They took their time and visited every single display. "You really love this, don't you, Jake?"

"Yeah, I wish I had more time to spend on my own stuff."

"I think you should enter one of these someday. What do you do, just pay an entrance fee?"

"I don't know," Jacob had a lot of excuses. He didn't think he had enough pieces and he wasn't formally trained. Bella thought he was very talented and she missed watching him draw. The sketchbook was still in her truck. He told her he'd been working on some things at Billy's, but she'd have to wait til another day to see them. Jacob hinted around that he wanted to go somewhere, so they could be alone, but she didn't think they should.

"No way you might lift the ban?" was his next question.

"No, Jake, you can't come to my room."

"Okay, I understand," he was like a pouty teenager.

She laughed, "No you don't."

"I know, I don't. God Bells, I want to be close to you like that again." The frustration was evident in his voice.

"Jake, we were moving too fast."

"You know what I think?"

"No telling."

"I think it's you that you don't trust, it's not me."

He was right, but she denied it.

Jacob had her back on Charlie's porch at 11:30. They spent a little time sitting on the porch together. He let her know Charlie was upstairs and not spying out the window, so she relaxed and let him keep her warm. It started out with his arm around her, but then he used his mouth which always heated her up. After a few minutes they were in an full embrace enjoying passionate kisses. "Still no?" he whispered.

"Yes," she whispered in a haze of lust. How would he take her seriously?

"Is that a yes?" his large hand moved up and down the lacy tights until it started the journey up her dress.

"No," now she was confused. Why did his hand on her leg muddle her thoughts?

"Which is it yes or no?"

"Jake, not tonight," and that was her final answer.

"Another night?" was his next question.

"Do you ever stop?"

"Nope, I keep going and going. One day you'll know what I mean." He wiggled his eyebrows at her and moved his hand a little higher up

She couldn't help but laugh at his persistence. It was cute and sexy, but she wasn't giving in. She removed the offending hand, the one that was making her doubt her decisions. She gave him one last quick peck on the lips. "Night, Jacob; this was a great night. I'll talk to you soon."

She went to bed and of course, she was second guessing her refusal to allow Jake to come up when Charlie was asleep. She missed how his skin felt against her own and how his mouth felt when it left her lips to travel to other places, but she couldn't. It wasn't right, the rule was no sex and if she kept getting horizontal with Jacob it was bound to happen. She was not prepared mentally, emotionally, or physically. She'd finally done something she was supposed to do, she had not one, but two doctors appointments the next week. She would see the lady doctor on Tuesday and the family doctor on Thursday. Dr. Thompson was giving her a break saying the goal had been to go to twice a month, but Bella could be squeezed in if she needed to see her.

He sent a text.

**i miss u so much it hurts, i can still come back there**

**hurts, jake? what kind of line is that?**

**its not, im really hurting**

She waited about 10 minutes, and he didn't reply back.

**jake, r u ok?**

**um...idk**

Before she had a chance to respond, he sent one more message.

**i'm going to kelsees i feel weird, but im ok...go to sleep**

She got the feeling, he wasn't messing with her any longer. She started to feel worried, so she left her phone close to her ear in case he had anything else to say.

The vibration woke her up in an instant, she'd barely closed her eyes. She swiped not paying attention to who it was. It was the middle of the night, so she assumed it was Jacob. There was no answer, just a click. She looked at the call log: Unknown number.

A couple of minutes went by, unknown number was calling again.

"Hello," someone was there listening to her, but not answering. Click, another disconnect. What if the call was about Jake? Kelsee did not use a cell phone and if she did she wouldn't hang up on Bella.

Next call came ten minutes later, "Hello, don't hang up. Um, this is Bella. Is that who you're trying to call? Is this about Jake? Please answer me." Click, call ended.

Bella then tried Jacob, she didn't know why she hadn't thought of that sooner, but he didn't answer. She left a message to call her back no matter what time and she sent a text just to make sure.

**jake r u really ok?**

A text soon came through, but it wasn't Jake.

**Bitch...where is he?**

Now it made sense, the hangups from the unknown number, but who would have given Nadia her number? Jacob must have truly gone to Kelsee's and not home. She twisted the covers for a little while in her grip. She was pondering her next move. She didn't owe her a response. What would she say anyway? She didn't know where Jacob was for sure and he wasn't with her. She thought her safest bet was to ignore the crazy woman.

**u do know i will come over there**

Bella looked at the time and it was 3:25 in the morning. She was feeling a little panicked because Nadia probably meant it, she would come over. Maybe she was already outside right then. Why would Nadia believe anything she said? She finally made the decision to respond.

**I don't know where Jacob is. stay away from me, pauls here and he wont let you anywhere near my house**

**figures...whore**

**one day, when u r alone...when u least expect it**

Bella immediately called Paul. He mumbled a few incoherent words, before he asked, "What is it, hummingbird?"

She started crying when she told him the whole story, Nadia had her so wound up and she still didn't know what had happened to Jacob.

"Chill, I'm on my way. I'll stay close to the house tonight. She's not that dumb, Charlie's there, she won't come after you."

"What about Jake? Can you find him, I think he's sick."

"No, we don't get sick and he can take care of himself."

He assured her he'd protect her the rest of the night and he'd find Jacob for her in the morning. The phone calls and texts all stopped and sometime after 4, she finally drifted off. Bella finally got some sleep. She woke up after 10. She immediately grabbed the phone and searched through it for messages from Jacob, but there were none. Paul said he was going home at 7 because he told her Charlie was awake. Seth had said he had planned on coming to get her at 11, but Charlie said she was still asleep.

**do u still want to come over?**

She didn't know what to say. She wanted to go to Seth's, but what in the hell had happened last night, she questioned her own mind. She could go downstairs right that second, and show her Dad the text message. He'd clearly view it as a threat and send someone out to talk to Nadia. Charlie would want to make a report, she knew it. For some reason, her Dad was obsessed about filing reports. She thought that would only escalate the situation, so she made a rash decision and she hit delete on all of it. She ended up telling Seth to come over as planned. She would go on over to his house. Paul was right, Jacob probably needed to get away. It was a good thing that he was able to leave Nadia more and more. Maybe Kelsee had told him to run. He might have stayed wolf all night and that's why he didn't answer her. Maybe he went home and fell asleep and that's why Nadia's harassment had stopped. All the wolves stayed connected, if something was really wrong with Jake, Paul would have heard by now, so she got her stuff together and headed into the bathroom to grab a shower.

Bella packed up the picnic she'd planned ahead of time. Charlie went to take care of some work. She had decided that everything must be fine, but in the back of her mind, a little bit of worry still lingered. Paul had probably fell asleep because he didn't respond to her questions after waking up. She decided to get it off her chest when she got to Seth's or she'd be preoccupied the whole time.

* * *

"You're pretty quiet," he stated the obvious.

"Yeah, sorry," she said. She'd been staring out the window. She had been anticipating seeing the house since Seth told her how much he had done since she was last there. She wanted to be there with him today, but she couldn't shake the feeling, something was wrong.

"Did you have a bad night? Didn't you and Jake go to Port Angeles?"

She turned her head away from the passing trees she'd been staring at and looked at Seth. She was right, he and Jake had discussed her.

He shrugged, "He and I cleared the air...we discussed a few things. You know, Jacob and I have been friends a long time, we don't hate each other."

"Um, well we had a nice time. We went to the art exhibits in the Harbor district. Jacob took me home about 11:30 and then he sent a few texts. I think something happened to him. Nadia started calling and texting me very late. He never went home."

"How'd that bitch get your number?"

"No idea."

"And what are you not telling me?"

"Nadia was kind of threatening."

"Over the phone or in a text?"

"She only hung up a few times when I answered, but she said one day I'd be alone, she also said she would come to my house."

"Let me see that?"

"I deleted everything," She admitted.

"Why, Bella? Charlie's a cop, so am I. You should have let us read those messages."

"I didn't want to blow it all out of proportion. Nadia hates me, I get it. If I get her in trouble with the police, it'll just create more complications."

"Well, I wish you wouldn't have done that. I'm guessing, maybe Jake needed to be alone, although I didn't feel him phase in anytime I was out," so that threw out the theory Bella had that he stayed in wolf form to run off his frustrations.

"Paul said the same thing. What if he got hurt or is sick?" she still felt like that was a possibility.

"That's not the case, Bella. Remember, we don't get sick. I'm sure he's fine. I doubt he stayed out all night."

They pulled up to Seth's house soon after and she knew what Seth and Paul had told her must be right, but the bad feeling refused to flee.

Before they went inside, Seth said he would send a message to Sam and see if he'd heard from Jake. They walked in the small cottage and Bella was blown away. He'd finished the floors and all the walls.

"Wow, you've been busy."

"Yep, Quil and I did the floors. Jared helped with the walls."

He pulled her by her hand and gave her the tour again. It was so different than the last time. When they got back to his room, she was shocked to see he already had a bed.

"It was delivered last night," he looked like he was about to burst, he was so happy.

"So are you sleeping here, is it official?"

"I guess, I slept here a few hours after my shift."

Bella, felt a little uncomfortable staring a Seth's new bed. Was it true? Both Paul and Jacob had mentioned Seth expects her to move in with him eventually, but that line of thinking was very premature. He had this place long before she came back to town.

They headed into the kitchen next. Seth said he wanted her input since that was her domain. She paused to think about it again. He was leaving subtle hints. Did he mean the kitchen in general was her domain or that particular kitchen?

"Sure, what would like to know about setting up the kitchen?" He already had the perfect layout, he just needed new cabinet doors, countertops and appliances.

"Why don't we make a plan to go shopping for the kitchen in the next couple of weeks?"

"Um, yeah, we can do that," she agreed not sure what she was getting herself into.

Seth went on to describe some of the plans he had for painting and he wanted a black leather sofa in the living room. Bella's face crinkled at the mention of that. It was all wrong for the space, but again, it wasn't her house; she didn't want to tell him what to do. She opened up the lunch she'd brought and they started to eat. She couldn't help that she pulled out her phone about every 15 minutes still wondering if Jacob or Paul would check in.

"Hey, if I get you a t-shirt, will you help me start painting?"

"Okay, I didn't realize you had paint already."

"Yeah, for the bedroom, it's a steel gray. Do you like that color?"

"Sure, Seth, whatever you like. It's not too dark, is it?"

"Nope, but you'll tell me if you don't like it, right? I can change it if you want."

"No, I'm sure it'll look fine. Gray's pretty neutral."

After an hour of painting, Seth complimented her, "You're really good at this. For some reason I thought you'd be messier," he joked.

"Why, because I'm clumsy?"

"Yeah I guess." She really did like the color he'd chosen. She pictured some artwork in slick, black frames on the walls. He could have white linens with a darker gray comforter or maybe some teal pillows, even rich browns would have looked good. Her mind was letting her imagine what it would be like if this was also her room, but she couldn't say that to Seth. It wouldn't be right to get his hopes up. She needed to lighten her mood asap.

She had the sudden urge to fling paint at him, just for fun. He had the bed and the floors covered up with plastic, it might have been fun. As soon as he spotted the mischievous glint in her eyes, his phone went off interrupting her plan. He looked down at the message, the smile he had disappeared off his lips in an instant. He looked very serious.

"We've got to go, here," He took the roller out of her hand. "Let me clean up the paint stuff, while you change and get cleaned up."

"What is it?" she was alarmed, knowing it had to have been about Jacob.

"You were right, it's Jake he's sick, really sick. Sam wants us all at Kelsee's."

Bella felt like all the blood had fallen to her feet and she stood frozen still for a second. She thought they had all assured her, there was no way Jake could be sick. Since phasing none of them even caught the common cold.

She remembered those last couple of texts, he was hurting and felt weird. She should have let him come inside with her. What if this was somehow her fault?

Bella went into the bathroom to change back into her own shirt and to wash the paint smudges off her hands. Seth was out front finishing up with the painting supplies when she went out to let him know she was ready.

They soon took off to Kelsee's which was probably only a five minute drive. When they pulled up, most of the pack was stationed outside. That place was so cramped, Bella didn't think more than two of them could fit in there comfortably.

"What's the deal?" Seth asked Sam.

Paul walked up to her and swung his arm over her shoulder. That arm had repulsed her the first time it touched her, but now it was one of her greatest forms of comfort.

"Is he okay?" she asked.

Paul shook his head, "no".

Sam tried to explain it even though they weren't sure. "I think he's trying to break the imprint and it seems like it's killing him."

"What? Why would he do that? Kelsee said he wasn't ready. I need to go inside," she pushed her way through the sea of large bodies that were lined up on either side of the door.

She looked back once more at Seth and he nodded, "Go on, Bella it's fine." He was being so understanding and she knew this must be difficult for him in more than one way.

Bella gently tapped on the door, "Come in, Isabella." Kelsee sensed her.

Bella walked inside to see Jacob on the cot, the same one she'd been on the past few visits. He was covered in the biggest pile of blankets she'd ever seen and he was still shivering."

She walked over to him and touched his skin. She jerked her hand back and looked at Kelsee, "How? He's freezing, why is he so cold?"

"The wolf and man are being separated," Kelsee informed her.

"Why? Tell him to stop this. He's not strong enough, why did you let him do this before he was ready?"

"I didn't, he came to me last night. The process started on its own. He said he didn't know what was happening."

She knelt down next to the cot so she could speak to him, "Jake, it's me. Jacob can you hear me?" His eyes briefly opened and moved but then closed again.

"He can hear, you need to keep talking to him."

"Jake, don't do this. Please." She looked to Kelsee for advice. "What do I need to tell him?"

"Tell him to stop fighting the wolf," she advised.

"Jake, did you hear that; stop fighting! Everything is going to be okay. I'm still here. Please, you have to accept your wolf like before. You still need him." She placed her flattened palm over his chest. His normally strong heartbeat, was extremely slow and weak.

"It's been that way for over an hour. That's why I called for his pack. Maybe the alpha in him will sense their need for him."

Bella wiped the tears off her face. She wished he could give her one sign that he was trying to come back. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and spoke softly to him. "Please Jacob, I love you...wake up and talk to me. Say something incredibly obnoxious and cocky...say anything."  
She felt movement under the blankets. His chilled fingers came up to her cheek. He wiped some of the tears away, but those were quickly replaced by new ones.

"Bells," was barely a whisper on his lips.

"Yeah, hey Jake...tell me what can I do," she took his hand and held it between her own two hands. He'd always shared his warmth with her and now she was trying to repay the favor.

"I told you I can do this."

"No, Jacob, you aren't ready. Please stop fighting your wolf."

"He's gone, I don't know where he is?" Jacob was so weak, he looked lost and confused, but he hadn't given up hope that this would actually be successful. He was the only one that thought that.

"No, he's still there and your pack needs you, I need you. Please Jacob, this isn't working."

"No, I'm not going back."

Bella pulled away from him. "Fine, then I'm leaving. I'm not watching this."

"Don't go, Bells. Trust me." He always made it about trust, but it was so much more than simple trust or even love.

"You're going to die Jacob, do you understand? You heart is barely beating, you're practically freezing." She knew what he needed, and she hoped there was enough time. His eyes closed again. She went outside and saw the pack all looking completely lost and forlorn. "One of you go get her and bring her back as fast as possible. Maybe it will work."

Embry jumped up, "I'll go." Bella watched as Embry mad a beeline to the woods. She hoped he was fast enough.

"Why don't you all take turns going in? Say something to convince him to accept the wolf again. I don't know what it's like to phase, but you all do; so tell him," for once Bella sounded like the one in charge. Where had that come from? She had no clue, but they all listened and first in line to go to Jake was a shocker.

Leah volunteered to be first. Sam confided to Bella, "I don't know what we should say. This isn't how it happens the first time. As far as I know nothing like this has ever happened. I informed Billy a little while ago and he's meeting with the elders as we speak. If I need to, I'll go get him. He should have a chance to see his son."

"Don't Sam. He's going to come back. He' not going to die, Nadia's going to snap him out of it."

"I hope you're right," Sam added.

"I have to be."

Bella watched each and everyone of them file through. No one stayed more than a few minutes. Paul was holding onto her as she watched Seth come out.

He was shaking his head, "I didn't realize how much he loved you."

"Seth." What could she say to that?

"No, don't apologize, Bella...I get it now, but it still doesn't change anything for me." She pushed away from Paul and walked into Seth's arms. Something was wrong with the universe that he allowed her to cry into his shirt about another man, but he didn't say another word. He merely comforted her. Soon after Nadia made her presence known. She walked up to Bella. Paul and Seth instinctively made a wall in between the two women.

"What did you do to him, you little bitch?"

"I...I, " She stuttered, not able to think of an answer, because maybe it was true; she did this.

"We were perfect until you came here. You're ruining everything. If he dies it's all your fault and I'll spend the rest of my life making you pay." She spat out with pure hatred.

"Nadia," Sam's commanding voice shouted. "Go inside, Jacob needs you, there's no time for this."

She walked in alone. It seemed like time stood still, there wasn't a single sound. No one was talking, even the forest ceased to make a noise. She couldn't even hear the wind.

Without a warning, the silence, disappeared and all hell broke loose in the shack. Bella could hear Jacob's loud, pained moans, Nadia started screaming and Kelsee was chanting something in a foreign tongue. The walls started to shake. She wondered if they would even hold up to chaos inside. It was taking both Seth and Paul to hold her back from running inside. What the hell was happening in there? The screams were ripping her apart. Jacob was in so much pain, they all felt it. Collin and Brady were both on their knees with their hands over their heads. Finally, the shaking and screaming ceased.

She worried that was a bad sign, but Sam said, "He's back." They all breathed a sigh of relief. Bella had heard so many complaints about Jacob from Leah, Seth and even Paul, but it was evident; they all still deeply cared for him. He was their alpha, had been their friend; they definitely needed him. She needed him as well, but this just proved to her she had not been realistic. There was no way, Jacob was ever breaking this imprint. If that was the case, there was no reason to keep trying with him. It would destroy them both. She looked down at her hand which was held by Seth. He was the better choice, for her; the only choice actually. Paul was right, she would have chosen Jacob, if he'd broken the imprint. Seth would have been hurt but he would've understood, eventually. It wasn't worth thinking about any longer, her decision had already been made even if she hadn't willfully made it.

An hour passed, the rickety door swung open. Seeing Jacob stand strong on two feet after he'd barely been hanging on by a thread was the most rewarding sight she'd ever seen. Seeing Nadia curled up in his arms as he carried her through the line of his pack-mates was also the most heartbreaking sight she'd ever laid eyes on. It was her answered prayer and her worst nightmare all rolled up into one.

_**~Thanks for reading.**_


	21. Chapter 21

_**Seriously, you guys rock. Thanks for all the reviews. I forget, but do you all like cliffies? Hope so...**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight**_

Chapter 20

Bella couldn't believe that after all that, Kelsee still wanted to proceed. Paul was adamant, "Hell no, not today...she's been through too much."

"Precisely why we need to destroy this poison. She can't go out in this condition, it still influences her actions."

Seth was unsure as well, "Bella, I think you should wait til tomorrow, maybe."

"No, Kelsee's right. Can you get all of it?"

"I think so."

"Let's do this. Can Paul and Seth stay?" she really needed the moral support this go around.

"I'll allow it if they don't distract you."

"They won't."

Kelsee started the kettle. She started picking up while it heated. Kelsee didn't have much, but everything she did have was on the floor. Seth jumped in to help, he flipped the table upright. No one was saying anything about what had just occurred within those walls.

Kelsee finally asked, "Isabella, do you need to ask me anything?"

Bella sat down with her mug. She looked at Seth, and she shook her head. She drank the hot, bitter tea without hesitation. "No, I have all the answers I need. Do you have the wraps ready?"

"Yes, let me get them." Bella slumped slightly in her chair. The combination of the tea, the terrible night's sleep and the traumatic ordeal took a toll on her quickly. Paul caught her under the arm and helped her to the cot. Her shivering started soon after. He placed two blankets over her. As they swept through the air, Jacob's scent passed over her and then enveloped her. She didn't need supernatural senses to experience that and it was the last thing ingrained in her mind before she blacked out.

She tried to push herself back up on her elbows but found there was no strength in her body. She fell back to the cot.

"Not so fast, this time, Isabella. That was the last of it, your body is going to go through some adjustments. I insist you rest longer this time."

She had no will to argue, so she closed her eyes. She managed to whisper, "Save the fire for me, I want to do it."

She had no idea how much longer she'd been out. Seth was lifting her so she could rest against him. "Here, Kelsee says you need fluids." He handed her a cup of lukewarm water.

She slowly sipped and tried harder to get her bearings. Kelsee was right, she thought the first time packed a punch, this was way harder to get over.

Paul was in the corner looking alarmed, "Damn hummingbird. That was some weird shit. You were bouncy up and down. I thought you were having a seizure."

"She was in a way. It's happened each time," Kelsee surprised them.

"She's okay, right?" Seth asked.

"Yes, are you ready?" Kelsee asked Bella.

"Yes," she was more than ready.

Seth helped her to the fire. Kelsee handed her the rags and she tossed them into the flames, herself. Flash of purple, bright glow, then a thin curl of smoke went out the chimney. For the first time, she smelled it. "Ew gross."

"That's what they smell like to us, only worse," Paul informed her.

"Oh, how come I didn't stink because of it?"

Kelsee answered the question. "It was trapped in the scar, encapsulated, that's why."

"Are you sure it's all gone?"

"Test if you want," she motioned for Seth to come closer.

First Seth brushed his fingers over the spot, then Paul did. She felt nothing other than the normal sensation of touch. She touched it, "It isn't cold any longer."

"I wouldn't expect it would be," Kelsey stated.

The afternoon had been terrible but one good thing transpired; the venom was completely gone. She wondered how the next few days or weeks would go. She'd gotten control over that anger she felt the first time. Now it was all gone, she wondered if there would be any side effects.

Seth took her home soon after. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"We should cancel tomorrow."

"Absolutely not, Seth. I'm ready to move forward, no looking back. Once I get a good night's sleep tonight, I'll be fine."

"I'm not trying to push, but actually, you don't seem fine. Bella, I can tell you're bottling it all up. You're going to explode."

"When do you want to shop for the kitchen?" That was enough talk about exploding, she'd be fine. There were no explosions in her future.

"That's it? We're going to pretend everything is the same?"

"I could go next Saturday. Do you work or have patrol?" She continued to avoid his line of questioning.

"Um, I think I have the late night patrol. We could go in the morning that day."

"It's a date," she smiled like she was the happiest girl in the world.

Seth blew a puff of air out the right side of his mouth. She was acting like this on purpose and it was making him nuts. When they got back to Charlie's she invited him inside, but he said he really thought she should go to bed and get some rest. He walked her to the door and gave her a kiss on side of her mouth.

Charlie was watching TV, "I was beginning to think you weren't coming back. How's Seth's place coming along?"

"It's good. Dad, what would you think if I moved in with Seth someday?" Of course, it was late Saturday night and Charlie had a beer. The damn can went right through his fingers as soon as she asked him that question. Bella ran in the kitchen for a hand towel. The beer was almost empty, so it didn't make a huge mess, most of it was on Charlie.

"Where the hell did that come from?"

"I was just thinking out loud."

"Did he ask you?"

"No, not yet; just hinting around," she explained.

"I think that sounds extremely rushed and since you're dating another man and all; I don't believe you're actually entertaining that idea." Charlie wasn't holding back.

"I'm not dating Jacob anymore," she was certain of that.

"Since yesterday, you mean?" He was really starting to irritate her. She knew her Dad was more than patient with her, but his voice was grating on her nerves. "Bells, go get some sleep. We don't have to talk about this now. You have dark circles under your eyes. You look like you missed a week of sleep. Go on to bed, and I'll tell everyone to forget tomorrow."

"No!" she shouted. "Don't do that. I don't want special treatment. I'm tired of people telling me things are too much. I'm not an invalid. I don't need all of you protecting me 24/7."

"Bells, come on. You've had a tough, few years."

"Those years are in the past. I'm going to manage my own life from here on out. I'm moving out in the summer. Who knows, maybe I will go to Seth's or get my own apartment. I'm giving you fair warning." There was no point of her telling him that, but she did anyway.

"Okay, did I do something wrong? Why are you yelling at me?"

"Sorry, Dad...you're right I need to go to bed." She didn't even know she was yelling.

Bella escaped to a hot shower and finally let it all out. She cried as she recalled what it had been like to see Jacob barely conscious. She was so worried, but there was just a sliver of hope he would come out of it, and the imprint would have been severed. Just the opposite happened and he was gone, out of life for good. He wouldn't leave Nadia's side or vice versa for days probably. She flinched as soon as the water ran cold. She couldn't hide out there any longer. It wasn't like she was loud crier, but the privacy of the shower allowed her emotions to pour out with ease. She'd have to spend the rest of the night with her face buried in the pillow until she fell asleep.

Sunday arrived and she made the decision to leave it all locked up. She was going to do one of the things she did best. She would pretend everything was fine. Her eyes looked swollen even after a full night's rest. She was going to have to use some extra makeup today. Once she was dressed, she went downstairs and started coffee and a hot breakfast. She had been distracted with other things most of the week, so she would need to make a store run if she was going to feed everyone. Seth and Billy were always over for games, but she thought Leah and Sue were making an appearance as well. She decided to go beyond the normal game snacks. She was going to cook up a few surprises. She felt like she owed her Dad an apology for how she spoke to him the night before. The quickest and easiest way for her to do that was through his stomach. Bella usually tried to limit Charlie's intake of red meat, but she decided steaks would be a welcomed and unexpected treat.

Bella spent at least an hour stocking up for the game and the rest of the week. At least, it was another late game, so that gave her plenty of time to get all the food ready. It was pretty chilly, but they had yet to have one of those really bad winter days even though it was December. She'd been dreading that even though the snow in Washington was a beautiful sight. Charlie finally noticed, "Bells, why do you keep going out the back door?"

"Um, I'm cooking."

"You're cooking on the grill? Why didn't you tell me? I always handle the grill."

"I wanted to surprise you, Dad," she held up the thick cut steaks.

"Oh wow, kiddo. Those are already making my mouth water. Seriously, steaks for all of us. You trying to spoil us or something?"

"I just wanted to give you all a special treat. Really, it's no big deal."

It really wasn't a big deal. The cooking helped her. She didn't have time to think about Jacob or what he might be doing with Nadia. She forgot the fact that she was now venom-free after five years.

"Come on, Bella, you're missing the game," Seth pulled her from behind. She'd been hiding out in the kitchen as much as possible. "I'll clean up later."

Seth dragged her into the living room, and she sat down next to him on the sofa. The game was pretty exciting. The energy in the room was loud and lively, and no one seemed to notice, Bella was the exact opposite. They'd all taken turns raving about her steaks. Everyone was grazing on finger foods during the game. Apparently, watching others engaged in physical activity stimulated the spectator's appetites. Bella had barely eaten at all even though she'd created some delicious dishes. She pulled out of Seth's protective hold.

"Where you going?"

"To the bathroom," she whispered. "Do I need to make an announcement?"

"No...sorry, go ahead. The game will be over soon, then why don't we take a drive or something?"

"Sure," she patted his leg so he would think everything was alright.

Bella had been in the bathroom debating on her next move. Once she'd gone off by herself, she didn't want to rejoin the group. She couldn't shake the feeling that she was suffocating downstairs with everyone. Her agitation was starting to show. If she went back down there, she could have another one of her outbursts and no one deserved that. The screams were pretty loud, so they must be paying close attention to what was taking place on the TV. She grabbed her hoodie, and tip toed down the stairs. Seth surely would've noticed under normal circumstance, but he didn't look her way. She slipped out the back door and started off on a walk to nowhere. She just needed to be alone.

Bella regretted not grabbing a real jacket, the hoodie was only somewhat keeping her body temperature comfortable. The hood was barely keeping the wind out of her ears. It hadn't been so windy when she cooked the steaks, maybe a cold front was blowing in. She told herself that it would only be a short walk. Everyone would worry as soon as they realized she was missing. It wasn't her intention to cause a fuss, she just needed some quiet time. The park instantly came to her mind. It would most likely be empty on a day such as this and it wasn't too far from Charlie's. Did people even take their kids to the park in December in Forks? She doubted that was the case.

Bella kinda milled around the edge of the park. She found a place to sit and stared off at the small pond. Soon it would be iced over. She knew it always did every winter. Much to her surprise, people were at the park. She assumed people in the area sought out sunlight whenever possible. They bundled their kids up and took them out for fresh air or maybe to run off energy. She knew how young ones were first hand because by the end of the day, they were all ready to escape the walls of the school. She stayed off by herself and took deep breaths. The wind was better where she'd sat down, not like it was on the walk over. She felt in her pockets. She didn't bring her phone, in fact she hadn't picked it up since she'd been to the store. It was still in her bag. They'd call her first, but then Seth would walk out and catch her scent. She expected to run into him on the way back.

It wasn't like she didn't want to be around Seth, she was merely worried about saying something she'd regret. She'd started acting that way with Charlie the night before, so she saved herself the embarrassment. It was present again, that angry feeling. She thought about the purging Kelsee mentioned. Damn you Edward Cullen, for setting this whole thing in motion. She could easily blame everything on him, but then there were other players: Kelsee, Nadia, the elders...the list went on and on. She had herself to blame as well for being sucked into this mess. How about the creep that shot Charlie? What was ever going to happen to that guy? Charlie said he had some hot shot lawyer filing a bunch of motions that kept delaying his trial and he was trying for a change of venue. If he hadn't shot Charlie, she wouldn't have come back to Forks. That actually made her sad, because she would probably be doing the exact same thing in Florida as she always did. She'd go to work, not talk to anyone, come home, cook a meal and sit in her room with her books. At least she was feeling emotions now, granted none were that great at the moment, but she'd had some good times since being back.

She closed her eyes for a second but all she saw was Jacob. Would he try to see her again? She was bound to see him again eventually. She wondered if he'd drawn the same conclusion that they were simply not meant to be? She had surprisingly stayed out much longer than she'd planned, so she stood up and started to head back. She was looking at her feet, which was a stupid habit she had and she bumped into someone.

"Oh, sorry," she said as she looked up to see the poor unfortunate person she'd just tripped on.

"Bella," he spoke. He looked almost the same, maybe a tiny bit heavier, but not much. He still had a friendly face, almost boyish. He was holding the hand a young child. She was beautiful with little blonde curls sticking out of her knit cap.

"Mike Newton, how are you?"

"I'm good, how about you ?"

"Oh okay, I guess... Is this your daughter? She's adorable," Bella smiled at the cute little girl who was the perfect combination of Mike and Jessica.

"Yeah, it's Kaitlyn." He looked around. "Jess is around here somewhere, she's pushing Grant in the stroller."

"Oh yeah, so Jessica had the baby? I saw her once, when she was about to pop."

"Yeah, this our first time taking him out. It's a little windy, but she has him bundled like we live in the Arctic."

Jessica was nearby, which meant only one thing to her. "Get the hell out of there and quick," she told herself.

Mike looked a little awkward like he was debating something. He ended up going for it and attempted to give Bella a friend hug after she told him she had to get back home, but it was nice to see him.

"Oh my God! You're at it again," screeched through the air.

Bella looked up to see Jessica pushing a stroller covered in a blue blanket.

"Hi, Jess, congrats on the baby, I'll see you two around, bye." Bella was determined to leave as soon as the words came out of her mouth.

"No, hold on. You're not getting off that easy," Jessica blocked her on the sidewalk.

"Excuse me?" Bella wasn't hiding how irritated she was with Jessica.

"Good thing I showed when I did, what were you doing with your hands on my husband?"

Mike looked green all of the sudden, "Babe, come on Bella was just saying 'hi' don't be like that. She was our friend in high school."

"Maybe she was your friend but never really mine and I tried. God knows, I tried Bella, but you thought you were too good for the rest of us. You might have landed Edward Cullen, but that certainly didn't last. You weren't as great as you thought."

"No, not at all Jessica. I never thought any sort. Look, I'm sorry, but I really need to go."

"The whole town knows. You tried to fool me the last time we saw each other, but Nadia told me all of it."

"Look, I don't have to listen to this especially where Nadia is concerned." She started to walk past them. Jessica was being especially loud and whiny. Bella saw a few people in the park looking at them.

Jessica grabbed her arm, not ready to let Bella off so easy. "I think it's high time, all the people of Forks know what kind of two-faced home wrecker we have in our midst. I can't believe you're actually working with our children in the school."

Bella jerked her arm back, "Don't fucking touch me, bitch!"

Jessica released her with a shocked look on her face. She was use to Bella retreating. She'd never been confrontational one time in her presence.

"Mike, can you believe she said that to me? Do something."

"Do what Jessica, you were cornering her, let's go. People are staring," he begged his wife.

"No, I'm not leaving til Bella apologizes."

"Well, then you're going to stand there til the end of time because I'm never apologizing to you and you can tell Nadia the same goes for her. I know you report to her, like a little spy. Tell her to stop telling people I'm a whore, she's the one that used to sleep with old men for money!" Bella yelled that last part at the top of her lungs. It had somehow escaped her mind that small children were playing in the area.

Jessica's face scrunched up, but Bella couldn't look at her any longer, she turned around and started walking off. Jessica just wouldn't let it go, she followed her.

"You'll regret that for sure. Nadia has been waiting for an excuse to put you in your place, just wait til she gets you alone." Now Jessica was making threats on Nadia's behalf. It was the same threat from the text message.

"Call her right now, I'm alone. Tell her to meet me right now, Jessica. Fucking call her! What are you waiting for bitch, I said call her!" Bella was right in Jessica's face. She was screaming so loud the words burned in her throat. Jessica had started to walk backwards, Bella didn't care if she was backing off. She'd pursued her twice and now she was going to suffer for not letting her walk away. Mike started to walk closer, leaving his four year old with her little brother. Bella started feeling like she was drowning, she couldn't catch her breath. Her fists were clinched tight. God knows how many people were watching them at the moment, a bunch of them were little kids. She was getting ready to punch Jessica's face despite how wrong it was, she didn't think she could stop what had already been set in motion. Her arm pulled back, but a firm hand pushed it back down.

"I got ya," Paul came out of thin air and stopped her. "Alright little Mikey, get your woman and your kids and be on your way."

"No, she was going to hit me. I'm calling the police," Jessica squealed.

"Jess, come on let's go," Mike pulled her arm. His face was bright red and he didn't dare make eye contact with Paul.

"No, you're crazy, " she pointed her finger in Bella's face. "There's a rumor out there. I don't know who started it, but the rumor is you've been in a mental institution since you left here. I believe it now. There's no way my Kaitlyn is going to school next year with the likes of you."

"Hummingbird, we need to walk away, okay?"

She shook her head, but she couldn't escape all the eyes that were on her. The whole damn town was already saying things about her, this was going to travel at the speed of light. **Police chief's daughter has violent breakdown in city park.** Paul was offering her safe passage, but she had one last thing to get off her chest. "Stop staring at me. What's wrong with all you fucking people in the park? It's December! You're all miserable parents for bringing your kids out in this shit weather."

And then the damn burst, she hadn't made it out of sight. She started sobbing into Paul's chest. "Shh, Bella, let me get you out of here."

A little hand pulled at the bottom of Bella's hoodie, and she was stunned to see one of those children in the park, was a student, "Miss Swan, are you okay? I sorry you cry."

She fell to her knees beside the young boy, "Oh Oliver, I'm so sorry I acted like that. Please forgive me. I had a very bad day."

The little boy was one of her favorite kids. He wrapped his little arms around her neck and hugged her. She'd met his parents before. They were probably repulsed that this wacko worked with their son. Oliver's mother walked over, and Bella prepared for the worst as she extracted herself from Oliver.

"Hey, Miss Swan...I'm sorry, but if it'll make you feel any better. I bet half the mom's here would pin a medal on you. Jessica Newton has to be one of the most annoying people I've ever met. She got everything she deserved. I swear if you need it, I'll vouch for you at school, okay?"

"Thanks, but I'm still very sorry for causing a scene. It's not like me at all."

Paul helped Bella to his truck before she could cause any more damage. She could only hope most people felt like Oliver's mom, but she could be sure Jessica wasn't going to let this go.

Once they were safe inside his truck, she stated the obvious, "I'm going to get fired."

"Maybe not," he didn't look at all like he believed what he was saying.

"How'd you find me?"

He pointed to his nose.

"Why couldn't you have been 10 minutes earlier?"

"Why couldn't you have stayed inside?"

"I needed air...it was bad wasn't it?"

"Yep, it was pretty bad, on the Lord's day and everything. I mean damn, hummingbird. You just cursed out a bunch of toddlers."

"I wasn't cursing at the children. I was just cursing at their parents," she wasn't making herself sound any better.

"Where to? You ready to face the music? I'm sure Charlie's phone is already buzzing."

"No, no way. Take me to your place."

"My place?"

"Yeah, why is that a problem?"

"No, we can go to my place, but I really should check in and let Seth and Charlie know you're okay."

"Please don't, yet. Seth will come after me, I need a little more time."

"Okay, just a little bit. What's with you? I swear I can't tell you 'no' even when it's against my better judgment."

"Please, you don't even have better judgment," she teased him.

He laughed and she was shocked that she joined him, but it felt good to laugh again.

Paul had a nice little house.

"Billy," he said after seeing the surprise on her face.

"Huh?"

"Billy helped us all get places of our own; at least those that needed them."

"Wow, that's pretty nice."

"Yeah...well, we give up a lot for this tribe and the people of Forks and La Push, he insisted on it with the council. We pay the utilities and keep the houses in good condition. Jake, Jared and I are the only ones that took them up on the offer. Emily already had a place, so Sam moved in with her and you know Embry lives with Billy, the rest still live at home."

He opened the door and she was pleased to see he wasn't a slob. It definitely was a man's place, but she was impressed.

"Not what you were expecting?" he asked.

"Nope, not at all."

"Do you bring your friends here?"

"Friends?"

"Yeah, is there something else I should call them?"

"No, friends is okay. The answer is not very often."

"Oh okay," she wasn't sure if she should sit or stand. It was pretty much like a studio apartment, one large room.

"The sheets are clean, I swear. You want to take a nap? You look like you need it."

"That actually sounds like a good idea."

Paul pulled out his phone and held it up for her as she was making herself cozy on his bed.

"What am I supposed to do about all these messages?"

"I don't know."

"All Seth has to do is go to the park, he'll know you're with me."

"Fine, send Seth a message, tell him I need an hour or two."

"Anything else?"

"No."

Paul sat on the edge of the bed, "Why'd you do it?"

"Do what? Yell and scream at Jessica?"

"No, Kelsee told you to limit your contact with people and your stress? Why'd you go off alone?"

"I don't know," she shrugged.

"That's bullshit, Bella. If you didn't want to be around Seth, you should've told him. Quit jerking that poor guy's chain."

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are. Why must you convince yourself that you love him?"

"I do love him," why didn't anyone understand?

"Well you're not in love with him."

"I...I don't know what that even means. Why do people always say that?"

"Because it's the truth."

"No one understands."

"Then make me understand."

"He was going through all that for me, and it was for nothing. As soon as she was there, she saved him and brought him back. He's only supposed to be with her and it hurts, so fucking much, but I'm trying to pretend it doesn't."

"Nadia didn't save Jacob."

"Of course, she did. You saw, you were there."

"No, you did that, because you were the only one that recognized what he needed and no matter how much her existence hurts you, you still sent for her. She was clueless. She was too busy worrying about how Jacob might be out making her look bad. She had no idea, he was in that state. I've seen her in action remember. She's the most selfish woman on the planet."

"He hasn't tried to contact me since..." her eyes stared at the blanket to avoid looking at Paul.

"You sure about that?" he asked like he knew differently.

"Um...I guess, I don't know. I haven't had my phone since this morning."

"He was in your room last night."

"What? Are you sure?" She looked at her friend, completely caught off guard by his words.

"Very."

"Why? What did he want?"

"Just to see you."

"But he didn't wake me," she tried to remember if she'd sensed him. She doesn't even remember dreaming.

"He told me he gave you a kiss on your eyelid and told you he loved you. I was outside, he wasn't in there for more than five minutes." She didn't know how to feel about Paul's confession.

"Come here, close your eyes. I'll keep watch, you're safe with me hummingbird."

She let Paul hold her and she closed her eyes for a short while.

Paul was shifting around, she assumed he had to get up. She was going to get up as well. It was time to go back to Charlie's and face all of them, if anyone was still around. She had no idea what time it even was. The bed moved once more and even though her eyes were still closed she knew it wasn't Paul. "Jake," she turned her head and opened her eyes. He looked amazing; healthy and strong, his normal self.

"Hi Bells," was the first thing out of his mouth. He picked up her arm, and examined it before putting his warm lips directly over the scar. All the bad feelings had disappeared. Maybe they smoldered in the fire with the venom, because all she felt when he touched her now was pure pleasure. She lifted herself up and went straight into his lap. He kissed her in many places: her cheek, her head, her shoulder; but never on her lips and she still melted every time his lips touched her skin. She held on for dear life until he asked if he could take her home.

They walked out to Paul's porch. He was sitting on the top step, and she bent down to give him a kiss on the cheek, "Thanks for protecting me today?"

"Anytime, I'm sure it won't be the last time," he joked but they all knew it was the truth.

She and Jacob didn't even talk on the drive, she just held on tight to his hand. She had absolutely no idea where they stood, and for once, it didn't matter. He walked her to the door, "Should I come in?"

"Please, for a little bit. I'm scared."

Charlie was on the house phone, "No, she just walked in. I'll let you go, thanks Billy."

"Isabella Marie Swan, I swear to god. What in the hell happened today?"

Seth walked over to her and hugged her. Jacob was hovering near the door. "You okay?"

"I guess, as long as I don't lose my job."

"You won't," Seth reassured her.

Bella gave her Dad a hug, "I'm sorry, I worried you."

"You have no idea, little lady. Jessica 'big mouth' Newton wants you arrested."

"What? For yelling? Is that a crime?"

"Well no, but some of the things you said in front of the children might be considered criminal. Anyway, Mike came in with his version and he's backing you, Bells. Said his wife was out of line and provoked you, that you tried more than once to leave but she wouldn't let you. As far as the law, you're safe, but you might have to do damage control at the school. If I were you, I'd go in early and tell your side first to Principal O'hare. Hopefully, that will work."

"I'm sorry to all of you, especially you Dad. I made a big deal last night of not wanting be treated different and then I go and do something that proves I'm still a mess. I'm sorry, I'm going to the doctor this week, I'm going to get control of this anger."

"Bells, um...I think Seth will agree with me, that you need some time to yourself. We haven't been helping," Jacob finally spoke up.

"I do have a busy week ahead, actually all these weeks before Christmas are jam packed. Maybe, we could just play it by ear. I can't be pressured right now, but we can see how it goes when I'm on my break."

"Sure, sure..." Jake said.

Seth shook his head in agreement. The two of them left at the same time, and she was relieved to see how cordial they seemed with one another.

Bella took care of business all week, starting with spilling her guts to the principal at the school. Luckily two parents had vouched for her. She said Jessica was trying to make trouble but at least her kid wasn't due to start til next year, so maybe she would calm down by then. Bella didn't think Jessica would calm down, but she couldn't worry about something that was more that 6 months away. She went to her doctors' appointments. She at first refused the birth control being offered her, but at the last minute she had a change of heart. She took the few months worth, as well as the written prescription. Dr. Oliver was a nice doctor. The family doctor was less personable but she wasn't too bad. Bella had her blood tests and was told she should hear back first of next week. She had kept it casual with Seth and Jacob, neither had seen her since Sunday, but she texted back and forth with each of them. She thought about hanging out with them over the weekend, but Kim asked her to go Christmas shopping with her Saturday, so she asked Seth for a rain check on the kitchen shopping.

Friday had finally arrived and as soon as school was out, she rushed home. She knew a lot of people heard about her park episode. Kate told her it was the talk of the town. She hated feeling like everyone's eyes were on her, and she looked forward to a quiet night with Charlie. He told her movies and pizza when he got off a 6. She decided to soak in the tub and put on pajamas. Who cared if was only 4 in the afternoon. She brushed out her wet hair and then towel dried it a little. She opened the bathroom door to go to her room.

As soon as her bare feet hit the hall floor, something felt different. Charlie's door was standing wide open, but hers was closed. It should've been the other way around. Charlie kept his closed and she knew for a fact she left hers open. She should have ran down the stairs as soon as she noticed the doors, but she tried to rationalize. It's Forks, nothing sinister happens in Forks. Vampires crossed her mind, but she highly doubted that knowing how Jake ran the pack. She slowly opened her door, for reasons unknown to her. Was she being polite to whatever would be assailant that might be hiding in her room, by giving him a head's up? Her room looked exactly as she'd left it, so that was a good sign. She had one goal in mind. She was going to grab her phone off the charger and call Paul. He would come over and give her peace of mind by checking out the house for her. She was grabbed from behind before the 4th step into her room. She instinctively fought back, but the person that had her was obviously prepared. Something pinched her side and she felt like she was being buried all of the sudden. Her chest felt extremely tight, she tried to scream but nothing came out. It was complete darkness, but she felt like she was still somewhat conscious. Maybe it was a dream, she didn't know, but she still felt pain. Her head kept pounding, every few seconds there was another blow until there was nothing; no pain, no noise. There was nothing.

_**~Thanks so much for reading. I'll do my best not to leave you hanging too long.**_


	22. Chapter 22

_**The responses to the last two updates has been great. Thanks so much! I've kept my promise, here's what happened.**_

Chapter 21

Bella startled, she was awake, but it still was dark. It was also really cold. She was wet, maybe she was outside somewhere, except it felt like she was lying on a hard surface. She took a few deep breaths and felt fabric suck in towards her nose and mouth and then blow out. She had something on her head. She still felt dizzy and a little nauseous. She must have been drugged and her head hurt like crazy. She wiggled her feet. Good news, they weren't tied, but her hands were. She rolled to her side and tried to see if she could stand. She needed to find out if there was something she could brace herself on. She scooted around until her head met something that crinkled. She turned herself around on what she was now sure was a hardwood floor. Her feet ran along the plastic, but she finally managed to get them underneath the fabric. It was a piece of furniture. She thought most likely a couch but maybe and over-sized chair.

After a little more maneuvering, she got onto the covered sofa. Once she was in a sitting position, she was able to twist her arms around her head until she finally loosened the covering on her head. She squirmed her head around the back of the sofa until it started to come off. Finally, her head was free and she sucked in a lungful of oxygen. It was still dark, but a little bit of natural light from the outdoors came through the windows. That's when she knew where she was, she recognized the windows. She was in the Cullen's house. The abandoned years hadn't done it any favors. She remembered how nice Esme had it back when she use to visit. The air was very dank and dusty. It had an eeriness to it now, that she hadn't remembered. If they left a sofa, maybe they left behind something that would get her restraints off her hands. What should she do next? They didn't live close to anyone else and she knew the phone lines wouldn't be working. She wasn't even positive her attacker had left her for good.

Her brain was slowly starting to recall what had happened. Someone grabbed her, she could pretty much bet her life on who that someone was. Question was, could she ever prove it? Well, at least she didn't kill her. She could have if she wanted to but maybe even she wasn't that deranged. What was Bella thinking? Drugging someone, tying them up and leaving them soaking wet in an abandoned house was pretty deranged. How many crimes were they talking about? Kidnapping, assault because her head...my god, what had she done to her head? Charlie would probably think of at least 20 more charges. "Oh, Dad," she said out loud. He would come home and find her missing. What if they all thought she was having one of her episodes? They'd still be looking for her, she was sure of it. She started to feel sleepy again, so she skipped trying to hunt for a sharp object. She rested on the plastic and tried to pull some around her for insulation. It didn't work very well but she was too exhausted to care.

"Sam, she's hear. Quil, go let Seth and Paul know."

"Is she okay?" a deep voice asked.

"She's alive, but I'm not sure...Swan, can you hear me? Wake up?"

Bella heard voices and thought she was dreaming, but then she recognized Leah.

"Lee," was all she could say.

"You're safe, it's going to be okay. We're going to get you to the hospital as soon as one of the guys gets over here with a vehicle. Do you know what happened?"

"No, someone grabbed me. It felt like I was given a shot. My head hurts a lot."

"Anything else?" Leah asked.

"No, well, I kinda ache all over."

"Did you see her?" was Leah's next question.

"No, but it was Nadia. I know it was her," Bella told them.

"Yeah, and she had some help," Leah confirmed her suspicions.

"Really who?"

Sam broke into their conversation, "We detected Emily, Jessica and an unknown female, but Nadia's scent was the strongest at your house and here."

"Oh Sam, I'm sorry."

"You're sorry. My fucking wife was a part of your kidnapping and you think you should apologize?" Sam asked in disbelief.

"Yes, because I know that must hurt you."

"Don't worry about any of us, save your strength okay," Leah put her arm around Bella.

"Does Jake know?"

"Yeah, he knows."

"Oh, well is he on the way?" she wanted to see how he was taking this. It had to have come as a shock even if Nadia was a bitch. Did anyone really think this would happen?

"No," was all Leah said.

She didn't know what to say. Had she really expected Jacob to swoop in on a white stallion and rescue her? His imprint had done this to her, but he still was loyal to her. Is that why Leah wasn't saying anything else?

"Swan, Jacob can't come here, because he's in fucking jail."

"Jail!" She found her voice. "How's Jacob the one in jail? Is Nadia in jail?"

"No, because so far there isn't proof she did this. Charlie's bringing in a CSI team from out of town, but Seth scoured the place. She didn't leave a trace. We can't very well go to the D.A. and and swear under oath we smelled her."

"That still doesn't explain how Jacob ended up in jail," Bella knew she was out of it, but they were keeping things from her for some reason.

"Please, Bella, not right now, do you even know how bad your head is?"

"No, it hurts and I kept blacking out," She stuck her hands back there since Leah broken the restraints. She felt the moisture back there and knew it was blood.

"Well, she drug you down the stairs."

"How do you know that?"

"Seth...he found the evidence every step your head hit."

She closed her eyes and pictured Seth, what must be going through his mind? He had to help process the scene. "How long have I been missing?" She had absolutely no concept of time.

"It's four in the morning," Sam told her.

So it had been roughly 12 hours. Wow, it's like she was missing from the world all those hours, but so much had been going on during that time frame with the pack and the police, Charlie's little police force.

Seth came in the door in the next second with Paul one step behind him. He lifted Bella up. He peppered kisses all over her face. "Bella, oh Bella...I was so worried about you."

"I'm okay, Seth. It's just my head."

"Okay, Paul has his truck outside. We'll get you to the hospital." Paul's large hand reached out and brushed her cheek after Seth lifted her.

She made eye contact with him and he shook his head in disbelief.

"Seth, please tell me everything. I want to know why Jacob ended up in jail," two things she couldn't let go of: her damn head hurt so bad, she wanted to faint and Jacob was in jail.

"Bella, you need to save your strength. You have no idea how much blood you've lost."

She wanted to argue with him, but she couldn't, she drifted in and out while Paul drove them as fast as he could to the hospital.

* * *

Bella woke up, not sure where she was, "Beep, beep, beep," could be heard behind her. She figured it out pretty quickly. She was in the hospital. She stretched her neck just enough to see her father awkwardly positioned in a reclining chair.

"Dad," she said in an unrecognizable voice.

Charlie jumped, and was out of the chair and in an instant. "Hey, Bells...you're awake. How do you feel, baby?"

"Okay, I guess...my head still hurts."

"Yeah, well a cracked skull will do that, so I've heard."

"Oh my God, my skull is broken? I never expected to break that bone. Am I okay? Did I have an operation?"

"No operation, it's a hairline fracture. They've been monitoring you closely and there's no sign that you're brain is swelling. You have a helluva concussion. They've had you sedated."

"What time is it?"

"It's late Saturday afternoon."

"Where's Seth?"

"I forced him to go take a nap, him and Lahote had been here the whole night and morning. I sent them both home a couple of hours ago."

She remembered waking up at the Cullen's. It was real and hadn't been a nightmare. "Dad, Jake? Please tell me you let him out of jail. How could you arrest him?"

"Bells, let's not talk about it right now. The doctor says you need your rest."

"No, I need to know what happened."

"Bella, I had no choice. I was on my way over to their place. Seth told me you'd received threats from Nadia. I wish you would have told me. The 911 call came in right before I got there. I was going to scare the life out of that girl and hope I could trip her up, since it seemed she didn't leave behind any evidence. I supposed Jacob lost his temper knowing what she did. He was on the scene right away after I knew you were missing."

"How?"

"I called him," Charlie looked really tired to Bella.

"Oh..."

"He and Seth were the first ones there, but Jacob left supposedly to go look for Nadia. I was distracted. I should have made him wait for me."

"Who called 911 from Jake's?"

"She did. Bells, I had to arrest Jacob for domestic violence. I didn't have a choice, he didn't deny it. I could see the marks on her neck. It took three of those men: Quil, Sam and Embry to pull him off of her. I get that he was furious and frantic with worry, but he acted outside the law. You can't go choking the truth out of people. Believe me, we've all been tempted when faced with someone we know without a doubt is lying, but it doesn't work that way."

Bella couldn't believe what Charlie was telling her. She wondered how it was possible for Jacob to hurt Nadia? She knew he would never hurt a woman under normal circumstance. What did this mean with regards to the imprint? "What if she doesn't press charges? Will you let him go?"

"Bella, I don't see that happening. You didn't see that woman. She was a raving maniac. She kept talking about making him pay, making him suffer. She has some weird hold over him, I'm assuming. I don't know what it is. I'm sure she'll press charges. I haven't even had the chance to interrogate her since all that happened. I'm probably going to bring in someone from the county to do it, so there won't be a conflict of interest, since you're my daughter."

She had this feeling deep down Nadia was not going to press charges against Jacob. She had provoked him and done all this to cause a distraction. She knew the pack would know she was behind this, but Bella did have a memory of gloved hands holding her arms. Nadia had been a con artist prior to being with Jacob. She probably covered her ass in every way possible. Even the best criminals slipped up, but she had to prepare herself that Nadia might very well get away with this. The attack was bad enough to let them all know how dangerous she was to Bella, but she made sure not to hurt her too bad. A skull fracture was bad enough, but that had been from the stairs. No one mentioned any other weapons. Was Bella suppose to live in fear from now on? She should cut her losses and accept being with Jake was literally hazardous to her health. Before she'd merely been worried about her mental health, but now there was a chance she'd be killed over it.

She instantly thought back to how he behaved at Paul's. He was gentle and loving. The way he bathed her in kisses, but didn't press her for any kisses on the mouth; it let her know that he still loved her, but he would give her whatever she needed. He recognized she needed a reprieve. The ordeal at Kelsee's had been too much to endure. She couldn't ignore the failed attempt to break the imprint and pretend it didn't have an affect on her.

"When can I go home?" was her next question.

"Tomorrow, if everything continues to be okay. The doctor will be by this evening again."

"When Seth or Paul gets back, please Dad go to the station and see what you can do for Jacob."

"Okay, Billy has been leaving me messages every hour on the hour. He's extremely worried about you, but he's also sick about what has happened to Jacob."

Seth showed up within the hour, so Charlie excused himself to give them some privacy and go see if he could calm his daughter's fears about Jacob.

Seth rubbed her cheek with the palm of his hand as he sat at the edge of her hospital bed.

"I bet I look like a mess. Gah," she lifted her arm. "I smell too. I can feel the caked blood back there. I feel so gross," she told him, but he was staring at her lovingly.

"No, you're still beautiful to me. Bella, I was so worried about you. I can't believe that bitch did this to you and I swear she's going to get away with it. It makes me almost wish Sam wouldn't have intervened and Jake would have choked the life out of her."

"But then he'd go to jail for murder and what would happen with his wolf if she died, especially at his hands?"

"I don't know. I think the legends expect us to believe he'd die if she did, but who knows? Hey, what if I ask your nurse if you can have a shower? Leah's coming up, I can have her stop by your house and get some of your things. She could help you. You're right, you do have blood in your hair and it's very upsetting for my wolf to smell that."

"Your wolf likes me, Seth?" She had only asked Jacob that question.

"Of course he does. We talked about it Saturday, me and the guys. All of ours like you, even Collin and Brady who said they barely know you."

"Why? Why do you think that is?"

"I don't know, because you're such a great person. Maybe it's because you're unique, you know our secrets and you didn't miss a beat; you simply accepted us."

"I feel like I should take care of all you," was what her heart was telling her.

He leaned over and kissed her forehead, "That's sweet, but please start taking care of yourself first. We all can handle ourselves. Remember, we rip apart leeches in our free time?"

"Yeah, I know...physically, you're all exceptional, but something tells me all of you could use a little emotional support. When was the last time any of you even came across a vampire? I never hear you talk about it."

"Come on, Bella. You need to rest. It isn't time to add any worries to your plate."

"No, I want to know. I worry regardless...anxiety sufferer, remember?"

"Yeah, okay...well, do you remember when Jake was being a dick and sent me off on that bogus patrol after the bonfire?"

"Yes, I think I remember old scents."

"Yeah, well...it turns out those same scents keep coming back. They weren't old after all. Not sure what's going on? It's out of the area we usually patrol, but Jake doesn't like the fact they keep coming back. So we're kinda on high alert on that north side of the reservation. I'm telling you this not to scare you, but for you to understand you can't be too careful in this region of the country. They exist, you know firsthand and even though we do an excellent job of keeping our area safe; don't take any chances. Don't go off alone, Bella. I know that's your thing when you get overwhelmed, but you can't. Promise me, you won't do that again." Seth was holding her hand and it felt so good to know he was there for her no matter what.

"I promise Seth. I trust all of you to protect me."

"Believe me after yesterday, you will always have a bodyguard, like it or not."

Seth stayed by her side, he insisted on feeding her dinner and he didn't move more than a foot away from her even as she drifted in and out. She was still exhausted and couldn't stay awake very long.

Leah showed up after dinner and the nurse gave them the go ahead for a shower. She showed Leah where the staples were. She said warm water only for today, but after 48 hours, Bella could use shampoo and conditioner. Once the nurse, wrapped Bella's iv up in a protective cover, Leah could help her get cleaned up. Bella hadn't realized at first she also had a catheter, but the nurse removed it and said now that Bella was conscious, she should be able to use the bathroom herself. When she made it back to her bed, the nurse had put on fresh sheets, and even though her hair felt a mess because she couldn't tame it down without conditioner, she felt almost human. Her head still ached, but the pain medicine they were giving her, took the edge off. The doctor came by and said she would be going home in the morning as long as the night went well.

Charlie made himself at home in that ridiculous squeaky leather recliner. He assured her Jacob was fine even though he couldn't release him. A decision would be made before the 48 hold expired. "Dad, are you sure you want to sleep there? Why don't go home to your own bed?"

"No way, I'm not letting you out of my sight. Don't worry about me. I'll try not to move too much because this chair is loud as hell, but no arguments. I'm sleeping here."

She didn't want to admit it, but she was glad he was in her room. She really wasn't ready to be alone, she was still scared. If she knew Seth he was probably out in the forest near the hospital, and that made her feel better; but having her Daddy close by was what really comforted her at the moment.

_**~Thanks so much for reading. If anyone is interested, I have a little chapter that goes back a few days prior to this and tells what's been going on in the Alpha's life. Let me know, if you would like that POV.**_


	23. Chapter 23

_**What the heck is going on with Jacob? I know some readers are very put off by this version of him, but I love to write his POV. Here's what's been happening since the day at Kelsee's.**_

_**Warning: These are characters, not role models. Some of you might be offended by Jake's behavior, some of you might cheer him in this one. **_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephanie Meyer**_

Chapter 22

"Motherfucker," he said to Kelsee after she'd given him her explanation of what had happened almost a week ago. She thought she was making him feel better, but she didn't exactly do that. She had told him what he had suffered hadn't been for nothing; some of the threads had permanently been severed.

"What does that mean?" he asked. "The imprint is breaking?"

"Perhaps a little at a time. Picture, thousands of threads connecting you to her, but a few of them were clipped Saturday."

"Only a few?"

"I think so."

"So let me get this straight, I was near death; hurting like hell and only a few threads were severed? How can I speed up this process?"

"You can't. It's too dangerous."

Jacob knew something had happened when he got back to the house with Nadia. She wanted sex the second they walked through the door. He told her "hell no".

"Jake, baby we have to seal our bond again. I don't know what that was back there, but you're back and I need you to prove to me, that I'm still yours."

"I've got a headache, leave me alone," He headed to get a shower, locking the door behind him.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Let me in," she was banging on the bathroom door and screaming. "You can't deny me, we both know, you can't deny me," she was screaming.

She was right, he couldn't and yet that's exactly what he was doing. The thought of being with her right then repulsed him, which wasn't new, but he always gave in before and now he wasn't giving in. He stepped out of the shower, got dressed and opened the bathroom door. She was sitting on the floor outside the door, black streaked tears all over her face. She jumped up and tried to throw herself in his arms, but he shoved her back against the wall and kept walking.

"Jake," she shrieked, "I need you. Whatever I need, right? Where are you going?"

"Out."

"To her? You can't be serious, she almost killed you, I saved you. You're meant for me."

He wasn't going to talk about Bella with her. "I need to run, now get out of my way."

"No, shouldn't you rest? Stay with me and I'll take care of you, please don't go out tonight. I swear if you walk out on me, you'll regret it."

"I regret everything about you, but trust me I won't regret leaving you right now," and that was the last thing he said to her before charging off into the night.

He'd gone to Bella's after running for several hours. He took Paul as backup.

"I know when I see her, I'll want to climb in the covers and stay with her, but it isn't right. I know she's upset and after what you told me about the last of the venom, I can't take advantage of her. If I don't come back in a few minutes, come in and kick my ass, okay?"

"Most definitely, I'm not going to let you hurt her Jacob. She's important to me and you know, I've never felt like that about anyone." If Jacob didn't have a direct line to Paul's thoughts, he might have kicked his ass about how close he'd gotten with Bells, but he saw what was happening between them. It was purely a friendship, more like a brother/sister bond and he could tell it was good for both of them.

He made it inside without a sound. Sure, he was kind of like a fucking creeper or something, but he had to see her just for a second. The way she looked when he left Kelsee's ripped his fucking heart apart. He wished he'd been strong enough to drop Nadia on the ground and go to Bella, but like Kelsee was telling him, there still was a strong bond linking him to Nadia. It would take a long time to do such a thing. He wondered if he or Bella had enough strength to survive this challenge.

She was resting somewhat peaceably, but he could smell her salty tears. She'd cried herself to sleep. He did that to her, and he had to live with himself everyday that he caused her pain. He leaned down to kiss her on the eyelid and whispered, "I still love you, Bells, that'll never change."

He felt the need to share all the little details with Kelsee. She was a good listener, but she wasn't exactly telling him what he wanted to hear. She said he needed to try and back off. There was no way to rush the process. He couldn't believe what Bella had done that Sunday afternoon. Kelsee said even though they all were shocked at her behavior, she thought it was a positive turn for Bella. "That poor girl has packed her emotions away for far too long. She needs to get them out. She might lose it a few more times, but eventually she'll even out."

He'd really missed her all week, but she needed both him and Seth to take a step back. The next thing he regretted to admit to Kelsee is he eventually gave in to Nadia. He managed to stay gone for almost two days, but when he went back; his will was not as strong and he'd slept with her. "You filthy, fucking animal...I hate you," he told his wolf when he went to wash her scent off him. He always did that since he had realized how much he loved Bella. He indeed was a sick puppy, pun intended.

Kelsee tried to sympathize, but she also had a few words of advice. "Instead of hating him, find a way to coexist. I don't think you'll be successful until you and the wolf share your body and soul harmoniously."

"How the hell is that supposed to happen if he wants Nadia and I want Bella?"

"One day, he'll have to want her as well and you already said that isn't too far from the truth." True, Jacob's wolf was content in Bella's presence.

Jacob's phone started buzzing in his pocket. It was probably Nadia, making sure he was on the way home. He looked down, it was Charlie.

"Jake, Jake please tell me Bella's with you? Did she fall or something?"

"Hold up, Charlie. What's going on? No, I haven't seen Bells since Sunday. Why do you think she fell?"

"There's blood on my stairs, Jake and Bella's gone, but her truck's still here and so is her purse."

"I'll be right there." Jacob heard the fear in Charlie's voice. This was very bad, he knew it. Something happened to Bells and he had a sinking feeling who was responsible. He should have kept a better watch on both of them.

He ran full speed to Charlie's and slipped on some clothes as fast as he could. Seth was already there, and an extra patrol car, as well. He smelled the noxious, expensive perfume that he hated mixed with her normal scent and Bella's. On top of all that, Bella's fresh blood filled the air. He was going to fucking lose his shit in front of Charlie if he wasn't careful. Seth had on gloves and little shoe covers. Jacob had never seen him being so official. He looked up at Jake, and he could easily read his expression. The two of them knew exactly what had happened, but they were limited and were subject to the human aspect of the investigation.

"Anything, Seth?" Charlie asked his deputy.

"Um, no...nothing other than a theory."

"Which is?"

"Well, Nadia sent Bella some threatening text messages."

He and Charlie both screamed "What?" in unison.

"Why didn't you say anything, Seth?" he asked him. Seth fucking new better, he shouldn't keep shit like that from his alpha.

"She deleted them and I told her that wasn't the right thing to do, but from what I gathered, Nadia had told her one day she'd be alone and it would be when she least expected it."

Charlie turned several shades of red. He looked like he wanted beat the shit out of Jacob, "Where is she?"

"I don't know, Charlie I haven't seen her since this morning I thought she was going to her sister's today."

He pulled his phone out, she was at home, so she'd said in a text message.

He wanted to get to her first. He was Bella's best chance. Maybe he'd get through to Nadia and she'd admit where Bella was. He looked at Seth, "I'm going to go see if I can find Nadia. Keep me informed, Seth and I'll get back to you as soon as I find anything."

Jacob again was running as fast as he could, Sam was phased in and he revealed the scene at Charlie's. It didn't escape his senses that there was one subtle hint of Emily which lingered at the road. Maybe she was driving the getaway car. Sam was enraged and he went off to grill his wife while Jacob was dealing with his own monster imprint.

She'd brought dinner home, and was sitting at the table like everything was completely normal.

"Where the fuck is she?" he roared.

"Who?" she was playing dumb.

"Bella, you know damn well, who."

"Oh, your whore...how should I know where she is all the time. Isn't that your job?"

"Fuck...Nadia. Are you that whacked out of your mind that you kidnapped her? You're going to jail for this," he told her.

"I didn't do anything. I have no idea what you're ranting about."

He could smell the lies on her every time she opened her mouth. He walked over to the table and flipped it spilling the food all over the floor. "I'm not fucking playing games with you. Bella's bleeding, a lot. I know you were there. You have one more chance to tell me where she is."

"I don't have to tell you shit. I'm in control here, Jake...not you. When are you going to stop trying to destroy us? Don't you know, you can't live without me? You can't, it's the truth, she ran to the drawer and pulled out a huge butcher knife and pointed it to her chest. "I'll do it, I'll fucking kill us both. You're making me do this. You've given me know choice. Everything that happened today is your fault."

"Nadia, put the damn knife down. You know you're bluffing. You won't do it."

She pushed the knife closer to her chest and he heard her blouse tear.

He knew she wasn't quick enough, so he rushed her and knocked the knife on the floor, he pushed her against the wall. It was his last chance to scare the truth out of her. He sensed several of the pack outside. He firmly held her against the kitchen wall and got in her face. "Where is Bella? Tell me right now before this starts to hurt." He pushed a little harder.

"Go ahead and kill me yourself Jake. It'll be the same result. It doesn't matter if it's you or me. We'll both be dead. Do it. I want you to, that way I know she'll never have you to herself. If you don't, I'll jump off the cliffs head first."

"Fucking bitch, where is she?"

Sam was inside, "Jacob, back off man. She's not worth. They aren't going to budge. I've already tried with Emily, our only hope is to go out searching. All of us will split up and we'll find her. Leah, Collin and Brady are already looking. Come on, man let's go find Bella."

Jacob let up a little and gave Nadia some breathing room. He knew Sam was right, this was a dead end. Nadia wouldn't crack. She'd only keep goading him, trying to make him snap. He was just about to completely release her when he noticed a menacing look in her eyes. They were the eyes of a true psychopath. She pulled her hand free and lifted her hand up to his face. She let her finger pass deliberately under his nostril. Of course she'd washed her hands but it wasn't enough. He smelled the minty soap she'd used, but he also smelled Bella's blood and she was letting him smell it on purpose just to rub it in.

He fucking snapped, that was the last straw. He grabbed her with both hands and started choking the fucking life out of her. He'd never believed he was capable of such a thing, but he was; because it was happening. It didn't take too long to do damage, because of his strength, but Sam, Quil and Embry pulled him away and held him on the ground. He was fighting them off the entire time.

"You tried to kill me you bastard," she gagged and coughed on the floor. She pulled out her phone and dialed 911 immediately

She'd been telling him to kill her threatening to do it herself; but she couldn't believe he was actually going through with it.

"Yeah, um my boyfriend just attacked me for no reason. He was choking me until his friend's stopped him. Please hurry, he was trying to kill me," she whispered into the phone.

Fuck, he'd done exactly what she wanted. How could he have been so stupid?

Sooner than he expected Charlie came in. Nadia put on an Oscar worthy performance and before he even realized what was happening, Charlie was handcuffing him and loading him into his cruiser. She yelled and screamed, started tearing the kitchen apart before they exited the house.

He was going to jail and he had no idea where Bella was or if she was okay. He yelled to Sam before leaving to go ahead with the plan. He was depending on his pack to rescue her. It should be him, but he had been an absolute moron. He should have taken Charlie with him when he went back to the house. Instead of working together, now he was on the opposite side of the law. What the fuck would happen to him in jail? He had no idea how the wolf would react being locked up.

An unexpected person came to his cell during the night, "They found her out at the old Cullen place. Charlie's meeting them at the hospital. I think she's hurt, but she's conscious," Deputy Manchini said. "Charlie said to let you know." That was all the guy told him. He still had a lot of unanswered questions, but hopefully Bella would be fine.

* * *

It had been the most miserable 48 hours of his life, but when Charlie opened the door to his cell, he felt like kissing him. "She recanted the whole story. The witnesses aren't talking, so I can't hold you any longer, Jake."

"I can go, that's it?"

"No that's not it. Jacob, you have a serious problem with that temper of yours and I don't want you around my daughter any longer. I've loved you like a son, since you could barely walk, but I won't allow this. Not any longer, Jacob. You can't see Bells and if I were you, I'd stay away from Nadia as well."

"Can you arrest her?"

"No, I can't because there isn't one shred of evidence other than you and your buddy's theories. That won't hold up in court. The Callam County D.A. is a hardass. He won't even consider this case unless we come up with something. The investigation and the interview turned up nil. Get the hell out of here Jacob and get some professional help. I don't want another tragedy on my hands. Your father is like a brother to me. Go see him, so he knows you're alright."

Jacob left the jail, no one was there to pick him up and he was glad for that. His wolf was dying to get on all fours. That's the longest he'd ever gone without phasing, since he was 16 and as angry and upset as he was, it was a miracle he hadn't busted down the jail. He did as Charlie advised and went to Billy's. He got a shower and ate some food Embry had gotten them.

Em let him know Nadia was at her sister's but he still had no desire to go home. He'd sent him after some clean clothes. The imprint pull was surprisingly not bothering him. He thought his anger and hatred for what she'd done helped him with that and he was certain, that when he was fucking choking her, he felt a few more of those chords snap.

He went to bed that night in the twins' old room since he'd given up his room to Embry. Charlie was right, he'd be labeled a fucking domestic abuser from here on out even if the charges never went through. Everyone would know. His side of the story would never be told in the gossip that had already spread through the reservation and Forks. Charlie didn't want him anywhere near Bella which he didn't blame him for. How could he? Even though he respected him, he still couldn't do it. By three in the morning, he found himself at the Swan's front door. He reached for the trusty silver key and let himself in.

He didn't tell Embry or Paul where he was going, but one of them probably sensed it. He didn't plan on staying but when he saw her, he had to feel her again. He slid in between the sheets and pulled her next to his chest.

"Jake," she knew the minute he touched her.

"S'okay, Bells I just had to see for myself you were alright."

"Jacob, are you out of jail for good?"

"Yes, Bells...go back to sleep. I just want to hold you for a little while." he rubbed his hand down the side of her hair and then her arm. He stopped at her waist and he rubbed the skin there under her shirt.

She opened her eyes all the way and stared directly into his eyes. "Do we have any hope left, Jake?"

"Yes, I think we do. It's the only way I'm surviving."

"Me too," she said.

He'd been giving her space, so he stayed true to his word, and didn't make a move. He was truly there only to hold her for an hour or so, but she needed more and she pulled him closer and crashed her lips into his. The hour turned into two, then three. The kiss turned into kiss after kiss. He let her sleep for awhile, but she would wake up to find him waiting for her again. They took turns siphoning what they needed off each other. He wanted to make love to her so bad it hurt, but she was still too vulnerable. He wasn't prepared anyway, never imagining they'd end up like that again so soon. He didn't have protection. Instead they were both satisfied with kisses and touches. He slipped out of her grasp around six before Charlie woke up and decided to have him arrested again. He could be damn sure Charlie would press breaking and entering charges against him if he caught him there. He was going to have to find them another meeting place.

"Bells, the sun's coming up I've got to go." She was trying to pull him back to bed.

"Okay," she kissed his lips, "do you still love me?"

"Of course, silly woman. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Jake." He gave her one last slow, deep kiss. If the sun wasn't about to rat him out. It was powerful enough to lure him back under the covers with her.

"I'll call you, sleep a little while longer okay. You need your rest."

"Is that why you kept me up half the night?"

"No, I think it was the other way around, you kept me up."

She pushed him off the bed after he wiggled his eyebrows at her.

He escaped into the cover of the forest, but someone was waiting for him and he wasn't in the mood for a lecture. Couldn't he and Bella have a few happy moments without interference?

_What do you want, Paul?_

_I want you to stay away from her, same as Charlie and Seth._

_Well, I appreciate your concern but she still wants me, so back off._

_"No!" _Paul asserted himself.

_"Phase back, so I'm not tempted to rip your fucking throat out."_

The two wolves broke apart and met back as men after pulling on their shorts.

Paul was the aggressor even though he knew Jacob could kill him if he desired.

He shoved Jacob as hard as he could, "Stay away from her."

"What's your problem? I thought you wanted this for me," Jacob pushed back.

"No, I don't want to fucking imprint. I don't give a shit about you. But none of that matters any longer. You two aren't good together. You put the 'dys' in dsyfunctional. She could've died because of that psycho you shack up with."

Jacob knew he was right, but he'd be more cautious now that he knew what Nadia was capable of.

"Bella deserves better than this," Paul told him.

"Oh yeah, like Seth, right? Well, I'm not going to deny, he's a good man, but she doesn't love him like she does me."

"What about me?" was the next thing out of his mouth.

"You? You're fucking joking right? You're with a different skank almost every night. That's what she deserves? Besides, I know you're just trying jerk my chain. I've seen how you feel about her. You're like her big brother."

"I was, but if you and Seth don't get your shit together, I'm going steal her right out from under both your noses."

"Like Bella would ever be with you."

"Sure about that?" he pushed Jacob's buttons again.

Jacob actually wasn't sure about anything, and as soon as he was distracted enough by Paul's comment that fucker pulled him by his shoulders and head butted him. He was stunned for a second because Lahote's head was like a brick wall, but he jumped him soon after and he beat that absolute shit out of him. Paul didn't put up much of a fight. Jacob finally managed to stop himself. He stood up and looked at him all broken and bloody in the grass. He'd been played again. He'd bet his left nut, Paul was going straight to Bells before he'd healed up which would be at least a day or two as bad as it was.

Charlie was right, he needed to get a handle on his temper or Bells was never going to accept him. He was battling the animal within but each day he was becoming more and more like the beast he claimed to hate. He left Paul after he saw him getting up, at least he knew he was not permanently damaged. He had to run off some frustrations. Maybe he'd head up to Canada. Who knew? He might get lucky and catch up with one of those leech bastards that kept hanging out north of the Makah reservation. That would be a relief, he hadn't killed one of those demons in a long while and it was exactly what the wolf needed. He'd give it to him, if he had to hunt all day and night.

_**A/N ~ Yeah, I know I said I wouldn't do it, but this is already such a hot mess, I figured what the hell. I threw Paul in the mix too. Kill me or compliment me, I just want to continue to surprise the readers.**_


	24. Chapter 24

**_I was pretty excited Saturday, the views on this little story almost hit 1000 that day, so many thanks. On with the next installment._**

Chapter 23

"This doesn't make any sense. He was happy when he left here."

"Ouch, what is that shit?"

"It's Bactine."

"Well, it burns I don't want any more."

"I need to clean your wounds."

"It's not like they'll get infected."

"Maybe, but you'll heal quicker if they're clean."

"How do you know so much about this hummingbird? It isn't like you've been in the know that long."

"I don't know, but I listen and pay attention and I did some research. Plus at Thanksgiving the glass kept Jacob from healing. Tell me again, why did Jake beat you up, I still don't understand."

Paul had been at the kitchen table for the past half hour while she tended to his various wounds. He'd shown up as soon as Charlie went to work. He didn't want to leave her alone, but she assured him Paul was on the way over.

He told her he let Jacob know he didn't think he should be coming over so soon after her ordeal and this was Jacob's reaction. He was probably right, but the two of them needed to see one another after all they had both been through. Waking up and finding him holding her was the best thing she could have imagined. Charlie told her he had let him out before she went to bed and that was it. Oh yeah, he also mentioned he forbid him to see her.

She had been floating on air when he left, she'd forgotten all of the other stuff. Well, not really, but in the few hours they were together, she had. As soon as Paul showed up, reality came crashing back on top of her. What the hell was Jacob thinking? He couldn't go around beating up people just because he didn't like what they had to say. Of course, he was different, but he still had to function as a member of society. She hoped Charlie didn't see Paul before he healed up. It wasn't like she was protecting Jacob, but she'd heard enough about how Jake had anger problems. Charlie would never excuse this sort of savage beating and what would he think if Paul looked completely fine the next day?

"Are you done?" he'd asked that at least 10 times already.

"No, I'm no nurse, what if I'm doing this wrong? I think I should call Sue," she reached for her phone but he covered her hand with his.

"No, don't. I'm fine. I can feel the bones mending as we speak. Let's go sit on the couch, this chair is killing my ribs." He put his arm around her and she walked with him to the sofa. "Hey, I'm supposed to be here taking care of you, not the other way around. How's your head?"

"It still hurts some, but not near as much as the first two days. Anyone seen Nadia?"

"No, not since she was interrogated. She's been at her sister's ever since. I can't believe they got away with it." Paul thought Jessica was the weakest link. "Maybe the other women, didn't realized what was going to happen. If they felt the least bit of regret for what happened perhaps, they'd turn on her."

For obvious reasons Bella couldn't go near Jessica, but Paul thought he might have some angles he could work. They should lie low for awhile and give them all a false sense of security. That's what Sam had said he was doing with Emily.

Bella answered a text from Charlie and then one from Seth. They were both checking if Paul was there.

She flipped the TV on and put on her usual food shows. "Why are you torturing me? This is making me fucking hungry."

"Well, it's not lunch time yet, but Sue stocked the fridge, if you can wait a little while," she didn't feel like getting back up yet.

"Alright, I can hold out til 11:30," he said and let his head fall back to the cushions and closed his eyes.

"Okay, 11:30 and then I'll feed the puppy," she joked. He kept his eyes closed but his lips curled into his signature smirk.

Paul wasn't the easiest guy to read, but Bella could tell he was keeping something from her. He usually looked her in the eye when they talked. He also joked a lot more with her, maybe he didn't feel like it because he was sitting with her while his broken ribs fused back together and that had changed his mood. She sat there a few minutes more watching the last bit of the program while he continued to pretend he was resting, but she knew he wasn't.

"Alright, spill," she couldn't take it anymore.

"Spill what?" He sat up with a grimace.

"The rest of it, you're not telling me something about the fight."

"You're getting a little big for your britches, hummingbird. No woman as ever assumed they know me, because they don't."

"Well, I do; so get over it. Ever heard of lying by omission?"

"I'm not stupid. Is that what you're trying to do? Prove how much smarter you are than me because of your college degree. I know I'm a fucking rez rat, who works at a garage, but yes I know what lying by omission means," he wasn't being playful with her any longer.

She felt bad for a second if that's how she made him feel, "Paul, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. It's just I thought I could count on you to be straight with me. I need that from you more than you know."

He must have been getting stronger by the second, because he leaned up to rest his arms on his thighs. He was much more mobile than he'd been when he came in the door. "I provoked him. I shoved him first and I head butted him. I also didn't fight back."

"Why in god's name would you take a savage beating like that?"

"So you would see what he's capable of."

"So you enjoy having your ass kicked just to prove a point?"

"No, I never said I enjoyed it; but it worked, right?"

"You're an idiot."

"So that's a yes?"

"I don't know what it is. I swear the entire wolf pack needs psychoanalysis."

She needed to distract herself, so she got up and went to the kitchen to see what all Sue had left them to eat. It wasn't 11:30 yet, but he'd eat no matter what time it was. He followed her. "Is this our first fight?"

"No, I'm not fighting, I'm just disappointed."

"In me?" he asked her.

"Yes, and Jacob," and in herself, but she wasn't going to voice that last part.

"I'm sorry," he pushed his swollen bottom lip out.

She reached in the freezer and pulled out a bag of peas and pushed them against those puffy lips.

"Hold that there, it'll help with the swelling and it'll keep you from talking. It's a win win situation. Now, go back to the couch and rest while I warm up this casserole."

Bella hadn't been up from bed at all the day before, and she was starting to feel it. She sat down at the table while the food was heating up in the oven. She couldn't see his head over the side of the couch, so he must have stretched out. Her phone vibrated.

**sorry about fighting with paul**

**how did you know that i knew**

**because he's a dick and i knew he'd tattle**

**I don't have anything else to say about it**

**bells...**

She put the phone back on the table, there was nothing else to say. Bella made a couple of plates to carry into the living room. She hadn't heard a peep out of him since she handed him the peas. He was asleep, she couldn't believe it. The peas were lying on the floor next to him. He didn't look exactly the same when he was sleeping. His face was softer, and he looked much younger. She set the plates down on the coffee table and knelt down beside him. The two of them were from very different worlds but she felt like he was her kindred spirit, both were damaged goods just trying to survive. Her hand had a mind of its own, because she hadn't planned to touch him. His swelling had gone down so much. The bruising was lighter as well. She took her knuckles and rubbed them over his prominent cheekbones. She let them move a snail's pace and curved them down to rub across that not so puffy bottom lip he'd stuck out at her earlier. Her thumb had just brushed it as well before she retracted her hand. He grabbed her hand as soon as it left his skin. His fingers rubbed the knuckles she'd touched him with and then he straightened out their fingers before they fell synchronously together. She'd never held hands with him. Why would she, they were friends; did friends hold hands? She didn't know. Their relationship wasn't traditional so she guessed it didn't matter, they certainly didn't need a list of do's and don'ts. She needed his warmth, his security, so she pushed up high on her knees so that she could lay her head right over his heart. It was beating so strong within his chest, he sucked in a breath and then she remembered his ribs.

"Oh, sorry...your ribs. Am I hurting you?"

He didn't answer her.

"Paul?" She tried to lift herself back up, but he locked her back down with his other arm.

"Stay, hummingbird. I think I just realized, I'd gladly be hurt by you."

* * *

Bella had been off work, but her doctor said if she was up to it, she could go back Thursday and Friday. She'd done nothing much at home those three days she was off. Paul had stayed with her most of the day Monday. He'd done a number on her that day by giving his confession about Jacob, but things took a turn after she woke him up from his nap. They both a had need for one another, she wasn't sure what it was. She had almost decided it wasn't purely friendship, but it certainly wasn't sexual. She'd given up trying to figure out what to call it, it was simply an anomaly. He had to work the next two days, Seth had Tuesday off and Leah came by Wednesday. Jacob sent a text every morning and evening. He asked how she was doing and said he'd wait til she was ready to see him. At night he'd always text: **luv u bells**

She didn't answer the first few times, but she responded eventually. Seth was taking her to Dr. Thompson and then they were going out for dinner afterwards.

Dr. Thompson couldn't believe what Bella had to tell her about her kidnapping and assault. The two of them went over her blood work. Bella's anxiety medication was going to be decreased, she'd been on the highest dose. It wasn't scientific, but a hunch by both of the doctors. It made sense to Bella. Despite recovering from a skull fracture, she was feeling world's better. Her anger had improved, she was feeling less and less anxious despite her complicated life still was about the same.

Seth recognized she looked tired and wasn't up to a sit down dinner. "Burgers in the truck sound okay?"

"Sounds perfect."

He ordered a couple of burgers and fries and onion rings for them and they had a greasy feast sitting in his truck. It was better than any fine dining experience she'd ever had. She fed him some of her fries and had gotten ketchup on the corner of his mouth. She wiped it with her finger. He took the opportunity and took a sexy little nibble on her finger.

She and Seth had been keeping it platonic for the past couple of weeks, but she wanted to see if that is where it was going to stay for them. Were they going to only stick with friendship or were they going to proceed? She knew he wanted to proceed, but she still wasn't sure. She knew she didn't want to lose him, so she responded to his teasing and she put the food aside. He kissed her as soon as she wiped her mouth with a napkin. Seth's kisses usually started out so soft and sweet, but he'd been denied for far too long and he immediately went for the sensual kiss that they normally worked up to. She was glad they'd driven away from the burger joint and parked some place solitary. Seth's truck was not going to work, because of his size, she thought; but he made it work.

They were doing a pretty good job at fogging up the glass when Seth stopped, to ask her what was on his mind. "Bella, I need it to just be me. Can you make me that promise?" She knew he needed her to say "yes" and she wanted to say it and mean it more than anything, but she knew if she told him that it would be a lie. It was so obvious to her, that her feelings for him had not disappeared, and she'd allowed herself to go further physically with him than they ever had been in the past half hour. It wasn't forced or awkward, she wanted him to touch her. She pushed his hand out of her top countless times before but this time she was the one that put his hand there and if they'd had a bed, she'd probably gone even further with him. Hell, she thought they were going to anyway with or without the bed. It was about time she helped the poor guy out, she'd felt how aroused he was against her leg. But he had to ask that damn question and the mood had been altered.

Seth was oblivious to her internal conflict and he continued to kiss up and down her neck, but he stopped when she didn't answer in a timely fashion.  
"Well, can you?" She nudged him that she wanted to sit up and she adjusted her shirt back down. She reached up underneath and pulled her bra back down and snapped it close. His eyes were big as saucers as he watched her get decent again. His expression started to fall, expecting he'd just ruined the moment for sure and he had no idea he was about to get some pleasure before the night was over, but no way was that occurring now.

She took a deep cleansing breath and then gave him the only answer she could. She lied and said, "Yes."

* * *

Finally, Bella and Kim got their Christmas shopping underway. Bella had a checkup after school Friday and he gave her the go ahead with all regular activities. He cautioned, "I wouldn't run any marathons just yet, but shopping tomorrow sounds fine. Take breaks if you need them."

"Um, yeah, no worries about the marathon." she advised him.

Kim's list wasn't too long, she pretty much had only Jared and his family. Bella asked if the pack got stuff for each other and she said "no". She knew Christmas meant something different on the reservation. Kim had tried to teach how the two cultures were melded together after colonization and the rise of western civilization. She told Bella she'd have to come over and see both of her trees, one represented the traditional Christmas and the other reflected her people's beliefs. Kim said they use to have a party and play the a game with the gifts but that was no more, not since Nadia. Bella wished she could revive the tradition, but this year wasn't going to work. Maybe next year.

Seth was the easiest to shop for, Bella was getting him some things for his house. The first of which was the perfect blanket for the couch which she still hoped to change his mind about. She didn't want the black leather sofa. The blanket idea was cheezy, but it would mean something to him that she got it for them to share at his place. Jacob was also an easy recipient. She searched through Charlie's old albums and found a picture of the two of them when they were toddling around the beach together. She'd dropped it off at the photo place to have it touched up. She also was turning one of their selfies from their afternoon at the cliffs into something special and unique to satisfy the artist side of Jacob. Of course he'd have to keep these momentos at work or at Billy's but at least he'd have them someplace. She thought it was important for them both to have a memory of the then and now. That's why she was having her own copy of both prints made.

The one gift that was giving her grief was the one for Paul. What does a guy like Paul need other than a good kick in the butt? She found out from Billy what Charlie needed, it was fishing related, but Paul completely had her stumped, dammit. It shouldn't be that big of a deal, but she had this feeling he was going to do something so unexpected and out of the ordinary for her, she had to do the same. While Bella was thinking, she saw Kim had stopped in front of some baby clothes. She had a hopeful look in our eye. Bella decided to ask, "You keeping a secret, Kim?"

"Oh, no just wishing...some day soon I hope. Well that is, if Jake will lift the ban."

"Ban? What kind of ban?" Bella asked.

Kim looked around, "Can we go inside to a coffee shop or something. I'd rather not say it out here with big ears hanging out in the shadows."

"Oh, who followed us?" Bella knew their was a wolf in the vicinity.

"Brady."

"Sure, okay, I could use a break."

Bella and Kim got situated in the corner of a coffee shop. Kim chose a table by the window, so Brady would feel at ease and stay outside.

"So spill, Jacob has a ban...it isn't about children is it?"

"That's exactly it. Everyone has to use condoms, every time all the time, no exceptions, him included."

"Well, I know safe sex and unplanned pregnancies should be on the forefront of anyone's mind that is sexually active, but how can Jacob tell Sam and Emily what to use or you and Jared? You two are getting married soon."

"He doesn't want any pups brought into the pack until the imprinting issue is resolved."

"Well, what if that never happens? Kim, seriously, if you and Jared want a baby, then have one. Jake has no say so over what you do with your body."

"But he does about Jared's and it's an order. Jared can't disobey it."

"He alpha ordered the guys to wear condoms?" He never ceased to shock her.

"Yes, and he rarely uses the order, but he won't budge on this one."

He was definitely going to get a piece of her mind for this. She was most definitely relieved he always used a condom with Nadia, she hoped he doubled up, but still this order made him sound like a dictator. It was absurd that he misused his authority in this area. "I'll speak to him, Kim. If you and Jared are ready, it's no one's business but the two of you."

"Thanks Bella. I hope you don't make him mad." Bella wished she made him mad as hell when they discussed it. "Are you about done for the day? You look pretty tired. I don't want you to overdo it."

"I really need to get Paul something."

"You and Paul are pretty cute," Kim giggled and hid her mouth with her hand.

"Cute?" Bella wasn't sure that was the best word for them.

"Yeah, I dunno know what to call it. At first I felt uncomfortable when we went to the Christmas tree farm, but later I thought it was nice. I've never seen him act like that."

"Kim, he's my friend."

"Weelll...if you can love 2 guys; what's so hard about loving 3 and I totally don't mean that in a disrespectful way."

"Because I'm teetering on the edge of sanity and that would certainly push me over. But the shock of what you just asked me made me think of the perfect gift." Bella knew Paul liked star gazing, so she decided to order him a telescope. She shared her idea with Kim.

"But he's a wolf, why would he need that? You know how good they see, right?" Kim had a simplistic way of thinking, but Bella now thought it made her sweet, not annoying.

"Yes, but this is different."

"Sounds expensive, I thought you said he was only your friend?"

"I know, but I'm almost positive no one has ever gotten him a nice thing in his life and I want to do this for him. Besides, I need to spend my money on something, Charlie never lets me buy a thing."

Bella didn't even wait til she got home, she did a little bit of research and ordered it on her phone before they headed back. When Kim drove up, she pointed out the obvious, Paul was there. He was sitting on Charlie's porch. Bella wasn't sure where Charlie had run off to. She told Kim thanks and goodbye and grabbed her bags to meet him on the porch. He looked like he was brooding about something, but she pretended not to notice.

The pair went inside and she flipped on the light. "Your face looks all better."

He didn't respond to that, because he was there to pick a fight. "You know for a virgin, you sure get around."

"What did you just say to me?" She knew he could be rude as hell, but that came out of nowhere.

"You heard me...so, you finally let Seth squeeze the goods, huh?"

She looked at him in disbelief. Sure, he'd told her before Seth had problems with his thoughts, but had he really spilled so many details to the whole pack? "Ugh...he and I are going to have to talk, I don't know why he can't keep our private life private."

"Cuz he's a pup, no control."

"A pup, really...didn't you two phase less than a year apart?"

"Doesn't matter, he'll never catch up and he'll always be a pup to me."

"You still aren't making any sense. So what? I made out with me boyfriend."

"And had Jacob in your bed on Sunday," he was quick to remind her.

"That was...that was, I don't know what that was, but one thing I know is, neither is any of your business," he brought out a fire in her and she didn't hold back with him.

"Just proves my point, you get around for a virgin."

"It's no secret, Seth and Jacob know how I feel." She was trying to justify her actions and all the while she was proving his point.

"Then what were you doing with me on Monday?"

"You? What? We hung out same as always."

"Oh yeah, then what was that thing on the couch when you touched my mouth?"

"I don't know, you looked different sleeping and your face was healing so fast, I reached out and touched you. I was fascinated by it. Why are you acting like it meant something else?"

"Because when a woman touches my face, it only means one thing."

"And what is that?"

"She wants the..." and he had the nerve to look down at his crotch, as if her touching him on the lip had anything to do with that.

"You're deluded." She had a good mind to run upstairs and cancel his Christmas present. He was acting completely disgusting, not himself at all. It was the version of Paul the women at the bars probably came in contact with.

"No, I know what women think, especially about that."

"Maybe the women you're use to, but you don't know what I'm thinking."

Paul took a step forward and she backed herself into the door. Had she really done something to blur the lines in their friendship? It wasn't intentional, and Paul would never see her that way anyway, so she didn't even know why they were arguing.

She lifted her hand up to him again, but this time she wasn't going to be tender. She was going to slap that fucking smirk off his lips.

He grabbed her wrist and shook his head, "No, I don't think so. That's something you don't want to try, hummingbird."

"Oh yeah, that's where you're wrong again. I swear in an alternate universe, I've already done it."

"Well, this is the only universe we're currently in, and you don't want to strike a wolf. You'll hurt yourself, trust me."

"I'm never going to trust you again, Paul Lahote." Maybe her words would hurt him more than her slap.

"I'm done, you're not worth it," he reached for the doorknob.

"What, wait Paul...why are you acting like this? You're leaving?"

"Yeah, you told Seth he was your only boyfriend, right?"

"Um," she stuttered. "Well, I guess. He needed to hear that or I could have lost him and I need him."

"Uh huh, and Jacob...you need him too right?"

She looked at the floor, because that was true more than any of them realized; but she couldn't say it.

However, she did say one more thing, "Paul, I thought we understood each other. You're the one true friend I have right now. Please don't walk out. I thought you understood and I could tell you anything and you wouldn't judge me."

"So what are saying, hummingbird? Do you need me too?" He took another step towards her against the door.

She gently nodded her head and whispered, "Yes."

He put his hand up to her neck and it most definitely did not feel threatening. It bordered on sensual, "Bella?"

"Huh?" was all she could breathe out. He had her paralyzed.

"Has anyone ever told you, you're way too damn needy?"

_**~Thanks for reading. Love you, guys. Sorry, no Jake in this one, but he'll be back in the next update. FYI, for anyone that follows my other story, Innovations; I will not update this one again until I update that story. The next chapter of that one is done, but is still undergoing some editing. **_


	25. Chapter 25

_**Thanks for the reviews. This one is really short by my standards, but I felt like it was the right place to pause.**_

Chapter 24

Her breathing picked up, but they were both still frozen in time. He hadn't taken his hand off her neck and she still hadn't answered his question. They only stood against the door and stared at each other. Of course, she was too needy. She was ridiculous. Why in the hell did any of those beautiful men give her a second thought? Not Paul though, he could not do this to her. It was going to ruin everything, but she was a female and she wasn't blind; he was having an affect on her whether intentional or not.

Thank god, he opened his mouth ahead of her, before she royally screwed up their friendship, "I get it, hummingbird." He took his hand off her and stepped back.

She breathed a huge sigh of relief or was it disappointment? "I...I can't, it's too much."

"I know, but it's an option. You might not have realized that, so I wanted to be clear about it. Nothing has to change, I'm still going to be what you need." He laughed and pretended to rub his palm over her face to wipe away her expression, "Relax, Bella. It's just me. I'll catch you later," He moved his hand back to the doorknob. She wasn't standing against the door any longer.

"Wait, you're still leaving?"

"Yes, but not forever. I have somewhere I need to be." His plans were revealed when he didn't look her in the eye. That had changed between them. Paul no longer boasted about his conquests. He shielded her from it, maybe he was ashamed.

"Oh, okay...well, be safe." That was the dumbest thing she'd ever said to him and when she shut the door, she secretly hoped he'd strike out. She highly doubted that, but maybe the nameless, faceless woman would not get any satisfaction; that'd be justice. Even better, she wished her overly processed hair might fall out the next morning. Bella could have spent all night making a list of terrible events she hoped would happen to Paul's lady friend, but Charlie came home and said he was hungry. She made them some sandwiches. He and Billy were going out very early in the morning fishing and then they were watching football at another guy's house in the afternoon. Seth and Bella were getting together for the day. She wasn't sure what their plans were. She did, however, know she had to do something she'd been avoiding. She sent Jacob a text and asked him to meet her after school Monday to which he responded, "Sure thing, Bells."

Seth came over and had breakfast with Bella. She picked at her food, still feeling the stress from the day before and the day that lay ahead. She wasn't very good company for her new, exclusive boyfriend.

"Something wrong today, babe?" he finally asked between bites.

It was as good of time as any to at least bring up one of her problems.

"Seth, I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't be so free with your thoughts concerning me. I don't really want to give all the guys a peep show."

Seth dropped his fork loudly against the porcelain plate. At first he looked rather embarrassed, but then he got pretty irritated. "Let me guess, your buddy, Lahote?"

"Well, do you deny it?"

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to. I'm really trying to be better, but why in the hell did he think he had to say something? He just wants to embarrass you."

"No, I don't think that's the case." Paul actually seemed jealous, but she'd keep that to herself."

"As embarrassing as it is, I'll get some pointers from Leah if that'll make you feel any better?"

"Okay, whatever you need to do, Seth. I'm not mad at you, I'm just shy. You know that."

He sat there shaking his head, obviously still mad. She should be mad at him, but he was the one sulking. He got up to wash their dishes. His back was to her, so walked up and rubbed her hand across his shoulder.

"Seth, why are you so mad?"

"To tell you the truth, I'm still not too thrilled about you and Paul."

"You can't pick and choose my friends."

"I'm not trying to. I didn't say you couldn't see him, but I don't have to like it."

Bella thought the morning was shot to hell and they were supposed to spend the entire day together.

"I need a fridge," he announced.

"Okay, I'll go with you," maybe the change of scenery would do them good.

A few hours later, Bella and Seth were in much better moods and he was having a stove and a refrigerator delivered the next morning. Bella enjoyed browsing the kitchen idea center. She made suggestions to Seth. He kept saying, "Whatever you want or if you like that." He acted like it was up to her.

_Ugh, Seth_...she thought, _it's way too soon_, but then a tiny part of her thought they could have a simple life out there on the corner of the rez, which sounded pretty nice. She knew early on that's what he really wanted. Seth was the "white picket fence" kinda guy. She didn't think he exactly was the keep the missus "barefoot and pregnant" type, but he might be to a degree. She couldn't be certain and wasn't that an important thing to find out before getting so serious?

They had a much better afternoon than morning, but once they got snuggled up to watch a little TV, Seth wanted to take advantage of Charlie being gone. She wasn't as receptive as she was a few days ago and he didn't hide the fact that she was frustrating him.

"I thought you said, you'd wait and always be patient? I don't get it, I'm just not in the mood right now."

"Bella, that's the way it is with you. I never know what to expect: you pull me close, only to push me away. You turn me on and then shut me down. I'm sorry, but the mixed signals are getting confusing. I think I should go," he stood up to leave. He walked towards the door but ended up turning around to come back to her. He knelt down beside the couch and held his arms out to her. She held on tight to his shoulders. "Can we start over?" he asked. "Maybe, tomorrow after school?"

She pulled back so that she could see his face. She started chewing her lip, because she was going to have to tell him why they couldn't get together then. She had planned on telling him about Jacob later. Perhaps, telling him after the fact or in a text was how she thought she'd break the news. She was such a coward.

"Um, I can't, Seth. I'm meeting Jacob."

"What part of exclusive, only me and you, did you misinterpret?"

"It's not what you think, Seth. He and I need some closure. I can't keep ignoring what happened."

"Fine, get your closure, but if that isn't what happens; I'm done," the hardened expression on his face let her know, he meant it.

Seth was the second man in two days to tell her he was done with her. She was getting really good at being a shitty person.

* * *

He was there before her, but he was still sitting in his car. They went inside, before she had a chance to close the front door, he grabbed her and pulled her close.

"Bells, I've missed you so much. Do you have any idea how much I've missed you?"

She had missed him as well, but she had to stay focused to go through with what she had to do. Bella pulled away from his embrace. "Jake, can we sit and talk, please?"

"Of course," he took her hand and led her to the couch. Jacob was ready to talk, but Bella continued to sit there wringing her hands in her lap.

"You're still mad about Paul," he stated.

"Uh, yeah, a little. He's okay, in case you were concerned."

"I know, Bells. I've seen him since," she knew so much went on behind the scenes with the pack, but she thought they might have avoided each other longer.

"Oh," she chewed on her top lip for a change.

"What else? What do you need to say?"

She'd do her favor for Kim first and then she'd tell him what was truly on her mind.

"Jake, don't you think you're overstepping by telling Kim and Jared they can't have a baby. They're getting married on Valentine's Day, and she wants to try right away. I couldn't believe what she told me about that."

"No, absolutely not, Bells. No kids until we get to the bottom of imprinting. Do you honestly think it's fair to bring any children into this mess?"

"What if a child is the only thing that might fix it?" she shouldn't have asked that question, because there was no way to explain it. She'd sworn she would keep the secrets.

"Huh?"

"Nevermind."

"No offense, Bells. It's my pack, it doesn't concern you. I learned right off the bat Nadia couldn't be trusted when I found one of her pills in the bathroom sink. I would think you'd be happy I'm being responsible. "

"Well, I agree that it's a good idea...it's just, you're going about it the wrong way. You are a leader not a ruler."

"So, is this you asking me to lift an alpha order? Because I happen to know they're all fine with it, even Jared. He's not as gung ho as Kim is and I get what you're saying, she probably would never manipulate him like the others, but the answer is NO!"

"Why does everything have to be so cut and dry with you?"

"Are we still talking about the alpha order or something else?"

Enough stalling, she needed to blurt it out or she was going to back out. "Jake, I can't see you anymore. We tried, and failed. I can't do it any longer, it hurts too much."

A look of shock overcame him, "Bells, come on...I know I've said it tons of times, it's fucked up, but please don't cut me completely out of your life."

"I have to Jacob. I know you're suffering and everything you're doing is so we can be together, but you should focus on yourself. Break the imprint so you can be free from her, not just so you can be with me."

"I was doing that already."

"Not like you are now, though and I can't take seeing you that way again Jacob. We hurt each other, not on purpose, but look what happened.""

"That's because she' s a sociopath and she's desperate to hang on. She knows she's losing me. She is, you know. I stayed gone 5 days last time." Apparently, it was a huge deal when he missed seeing her for days, but Bella concentrated on what went on at their reunions. Those were the things that hurt her the most.

"I've made up my mind and for once, I'm sticking to it."

"Is this about Seth or god...I can't believe I have to ask this, Lahote?"

"Yes and no, and why are you asking about Paul? He's my friend and of course, everyone has been telling me from the start not to be with you. I never listened to any of them. This is about me finally coming to the conclusion that I'm not strong enough to do what you're asking. I can't wait for you, they'll be nothing left if I do."

"Bella, I love you," he brushed his free hand down her cheek and made sure she was looking in his eyes.

"I love you so much Jacob. You're right, I should have never moved. Imagine what it would have been like if we'd been together all these years, but it didn't happen that way and we can't go back. I have to ask if you love me enough to let me go?"

"I'd do anything for you, I'd jump off a building if you asked me to."

"Well, I would never ask something like that Jake."

"Yeah, but it's the same result either way. I'm broken apart inside. Can I still call sometimes or text you?"

"That's not a good idea," she looked away when she said those words. The calls and texts would draw her back in.

"What about Christmas? I made you something, do you not want it?"

"Um, I have something for you too. Maybe we could see each briefly in a few weeks after we've had some time to process this. I still want you to have what I got you and I can't believe you made me something. I know I'll treasure it."

"I'm sure you'll be at Sue's Christmas Eve, she invited me to stop by, so I'll see you then I guess."

"Okay," That was almost 2 full weeks away, she should be fine seeing him for a few minutes while everyone else was around.

It was time for him to leave, she couldn't sit with him much longer. It was too hard to look in his eyes. They were starting to glaze over and she hadn't even try to hide the tears that had fallen down her cheeks. She wished they'd had a chance, so many times she believed they did because she loved him so much.

"Bells, I have to know. What if...?"

She already knew what he was about to say, "I can't answer that because I don't know, it depends on how far in the future it is." She was wondering if that was an accurate statement. If had been 5 days, 5 months or 5 years; she knew if he broke the imprint, it would difficult to tell him "no".

"Well, I'll take that as a maybe."

He squeezed her hand again and helped her up with him. She had honestly expected him to put up more of a fuss, but he didn't. He had been very calm and understanding which made her want to throw her arms around him and kiss him senseless. If this was them ending things, she wanted to experience a good bye kiss. She wouldn't ask for it though, because Seth had told her she constantly sent mixed signals. This would not be one of those times.

They walked to the door and he put his strong arms around her. She pulled herself as close as she could get. He put her face in his hands and leaned down to kiss her lips. She didn't have to ask, he needed the goodbye kiss as well. She melted into it same as always, and he lifted her off the ground. If only, their lives could be as easy as their kisses. Jake held onto her and she felt so safe and protected, like that was the only place on earth she belonged. Eventually, he sat her back on her own two feet, which were never quite that stable, but she was going to have to learn how to be secure on her own.

"Goodbye, Bells,"

"Goodbye, Jake."

He walked to his car and she watched him out the window, just like that first day he'd picked her up from the airport. It was deja vu, she'd been waiting for the moment she'd see him again that afternoon and even though she had just told him "goodbye", she still felt exactly like she had on that first day.

**_~TBH, I'm bummed. Who else is? This fic isn't by any means close to being done. When I started it and planned for 25 chapters, I was as deluded as Paul thinking that any woman that touches his face, wants the D. Maybe, in his case, he's right; but that's a stretch. LOL!_**


	26. Chapter 26

_**I don't know what happened, but I completely shut down for a few days as far as this story goes. (too much pressure) I was worried, I'd lost my muse, but after five days, it returned. This is a rather lengthy update, and it sets the stage for some big turning points in the story. **_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight is the sole property of Stephanie Meyer**_

Chapter 25

She softly tapped on the door, hoping it was okay to come by unannounced. The smile on the old woman's face when she saw her let her know it was.

"Come in, Isabella. I've been missing you. I wasn't sure when I'd see you again." Kelsee invited her inside.

She put on the tea that Bella enjoyed.

"What brings you out this way?"

"Oh, I was going to help Seth do some more painting in a couple of hours, so I thought I'd stop by. You, don't mind do you?"

"No, come by anytime. I don't get many visitors other than Jacob."

When she mentioned his name, Bella's heart ached, it had been a week now. There had been no contact. The only thing she did know for certain was that many nights, he was outside Charlie's house in the woods. Paul had told her that much.

"Well, how are you now? Better, I hope. I hate that you were injured."

"You mean by Jake's crazy imprint?" She didn't think Kelsee needed reminding what she'd set in motion, but it made her feel a tiny bit better to say that.

Kelsee sighed heavily. "So sorry, dear. Any way I can make it better?"

"No."

"Are you taking care of yourself?"

"What do you mean?"

"Isabella, I'm beginning to think you've never taken the time to get to know yourself. What do you want out of life? Do you have goals you're working towards? What do you like to do, that doesn't involve doing for someone else?"

"I don't know, I still want to teach. I like taking care of my Dad."

"Tell the truth, since you've been back, how many of your decisions revolved around what would please someone else?"

She was going to have to think about that question a little longer. It was a tough one. She most definitely didn't feel like she was selfless by any means or she would have never gotten in such a mess with both Jacob and Seth. It was true, much of her life revolved around other people. It started at a very young age when she had to pick up the slack for Renee. When she lived with Charlie, she spent a lot of time taking care of him ignoring the fact that he lived most of his life alone. He managed all those years without her, but it made he feel useful to cook for him and clean his house. This time around, she was certain there was some guilt involved as well.

"I can tell you're thinking about what I said, which is good. I want you to be happy and you're not completely there, are you?"

No, Bella wasn't but she wasn't exactly sad either. Her emotions were definitely confusing her and Kelsee was making it worse since she questioned her. She took deep breath and let it out. "I'm going to try what you said." They spent a little more time talking about what was going on in Bella's life.

Kelsee gave her a hug on the way out, "Smile, dear, your smile is very beautiful and I hardly ever see it."

Bella forced a smile for her ancient relative and headed back to her truck.

Once Kelsee closed the rickety door, she turned back and something caught her eye. She'd never noticed it before but off the the back left side of the shack, there appeared to be a pathway. It was more like beaten down grass that had been traveled across repeatedly. It was her understanding, Kelsee rarely left the shack, someone brought her the few supplies she needed. This path, though, Bella suspected, was made by Kelsee, and she wanted to know where it led. Kelsee would notice she didn't drive away, but maybe it wouldn't matter to her. She'd be quick, she was too curious to leave without seeing where that trail disappeared to in the woods.

Bella followed it and it was quite unlevel and very obstructed with branches at times. She wondered how the old woman made it down in one piece. Bella could hear water in the distance, slow running water. She made it to the end in maybe a half a mile or so and immediately realized where she must be. This was Kelsee's and Kiyiya's private place, it was where he imprinted on her. No wonder she risked the rugged trek, this was all she had left other than memories. Bella felt like she had trespassed on a sacred site and that she shouldn't be there. She had one last look and was about to turn and head back the way she'd came, when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

Bella jumped and let out a startled scream.

"Jake, dammit, why'd you sneak up on me like that?" She stepped back and avoided looking at him.

"Why are you out here alone?"

"Um, I was visiting Kelsee and I...I went for a walk. What? Are you following me?"

"No, but you know that one of us watches over you. It happened to be me this morning. You shouldn't be out here in the woods alone."

"I'm not alone since you obviously followed me."

"I was pretty far back giving you privacy with Kelsee. I only came to investigate a few minutes ago."

Bella had the urge to get out of that particular spot with him as soon as possible. She turned on her heels and started walking back without saying another word to him.

"Wait, Bells," he followed her.

Of course, she stumbled and he caught her around her waist. "Slow down, before you hurt yourself."

She jerked from him not liking the way her body responded to his touch and she ran smack dab into a hanging limb. It sliced her skin above her left eyebrow, but she kept walking.

"You're being idiotic, Bells. Are you really that determined to get away from me? Now look what you've done, you're bleeding. Turn around and let me see."

She kept pushing through even though her head stung like a bitch, "I'm fine, it's just a scratch." She knew she was almost at the end of the trail, which meant she could soon be in the sanctuary of her truck. That's all she had to do was get there, not turn around and then she could go to Seth's. Everything would be fine once she got to his house. She reached in her pocket readying her keys for her escape. It was too soon to be alone with Jacob, especially when she felt so vulnerable being in the spot where Kelsee and Kiyiya imprinted.

He snatched the keys right out of her hand before she had the chance to open her mouth and protest. Then he turned her around so he could see the damage to her face.

"Come inside, I'm sure Kelsee has something we can clean that up with."

"No, please no Jacob. I don't want to go back inside. Give me my damn keys and let me go. I'll take care of it when I get to Seth's."

His face wrinkled when she mentioned going to Seth's. He took a hold of her arm, and drug her to the truck. He opened the door and told her to sit. "Don't move, I'll be right back."

How could she go anywhere, he still had her keys. Jacob was inside Kelsee's for only a few minutes and then he came back with some sort of white cloth in his hands.

He opened the door as wide as it would go and stepped inside til his legs were almost touching hers. He put the cloth on her cut.

"Ow," she yelled, "That burns really bad."

"Good, now hold still." He blotted the rag on her and then pulled it away to survey the damage and then put it back. It didn't sting as bad as the first time, but it was still uncomfortable. "Damn woman, do you know how stubborn you are?"

She didn't answer. In fact, she didn't even look at him. She held her eyes tightly shut as long as he was in such close proximity to her.

"Bella, open your eyes. I swear, I never would have believed you could act this bratty."

She opened them after that insult. "I'm not being a brat. Why couldn't you have left me alone?"

He broke out in a grin after her question.

"Why are you smiling?" she asked.

He smiled even bigger and started to laugh a little.

"Stop it, Jake. You're a big jerk."

Then he really started laughing.

She pushed his hand away and turned her legs around to get in position to drive away.

He held up her keys, "Don't you need these?"

She reached out to grab them, but he hid them behind his back.

"Dammit, Jake...I need to leave, give me my keys."

"Nope, not til I make sure you're fine to drive."

"Of course I am, it's only a scratch."

He held up a closed fist in front of her and asked "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"None, you idiot, give me my keys."

"I'll give em to you, but you have to answer one question for me."

"What?"

"Why are you so mad at me?"

"I...I, I'm not. I just want me keys."

"Oh, well, here," he placed the keys in her palm, but he kept his hand over them long enough for her to feel his heat burn around them. She should have pulled back, but she didn't and finally he lifted his hand and stepped away from her door. "Bye Bells, see you next week at Sue's. Have a nice afternoon." He jogged off in the woods and it took her another minute to figure out what she was supposed to be doing. Oh yeah, she was late for her paint date with Seth. She left right after that and drove to his house. The drive was too short and she hadn't cleared her mind yet. She hoped she wouldn't be distracted at Seth's.

"Bella, what happened?" was the first thing out of his mouth.

Her head, she'd already forgotten. "Oh, I ran into a branch outside of Kelsee's. It's no big deal."

He took her to his bathroom and let her see for herself. Of course, it was worse than she'd imagined. It would leave a scar most likely.

Seth cleaned the scrape again. He told her they didn't have to paint if she wasn't up to it.

"No, of course not. It doesn't even hurt."

"Come here, I've got something to show you."

He walked her back into the living room. She'd been whisked by so quickly back to the bathroom, she didn't notice before.

"You got a sofa!" she was so excited because it wasn't a black leather one, it was soft, velvety, dark brown one. It was the one she wanted by never admitted to him.

"How'd you?" he cut her off.

"Leah." She had mentioned it to her, hadn't she?

"Oh well, Seth you didn't have to just cuz I liked this one."

"No, I figured you'd be here with me a lot, so..." he lifted his eyebrows a couple a times. He was so cute. "Come on, sit with me. Tell me what you think?" He pulled her down with him and the couch was just as comfy as it looked.

"I love it."

"Good."

She threw her arms around him and gave him a kiss. He pulled her up on his lap, "We can stay here and forget the painting as far as I'm concerned."

"Or we can get the painting done and then relax together later."

"Kitchen and dining room. How long do you think it'll take?" Seth informed her.

"Not long at all. Then I'll make us some dinner and we can chill."

"I don't have TV yet," he whispered to her.

"Then we'll have to find other entertainment," she gave him one more smacking kiss before she headed out to the truck to get her bag. She'd brought some old clothes this time.

They painted for a little less than two hours. Bella started some dinner while Seth got cleaned up. She had helped him stock his kitchen a few days before, so she had everything she needed to make them some spaghetti which was quick and easy. She decided to clean up next after painting and cooking. They had a nice dinner standing at the kitchen counter. Chairs were next on the agenda, maybe a couple of barstools. Seth insisted she go stretch out on the sofa while he cleaned up the kitchen. She felt like patting herself on the back. She hadn't let the encounter with Jacob alter her mood at all. Once she got to Seth's, she'd let it go and enjoyed his company. They had been pretty playful with one another the whole afternoon, but when he came to join her on the couch, he looked pretty serious.

"Something wrong?"

"No, but I think we should talk about something first."

"Okay," she adjusted her body to turn towards him and she pulled her legs up underneath her. "What is it?"

"Bella, I wanted to apologize for some of the outbursts I've had recently, some of the things I've said to you."

"Seth, I thought we were past all that. It was a difficult time for both of us, but we started over. You don't have to keep apologizing."

"No, I think I do. Not many people are aware of this, but I'm like Leah a little more than I'd like to admit. We both lash out, when we're afraid. You'll never get my sister to admit she's afraid, but I will. I admit it, I was really afraid of losing you."

"Seth," she reached out for his hand.

"It could have easily gone the other way, you could have chosen to stick it out and wait for Jacob." He grabbed on to her hand and linked their fingers together. He looked earnestly into her eyes, "I'm not blind, Bella. You had feelings for him, and I know they haven't all disappeared, but I can tell you care about me as well."

"I do, Seth, I really do."

"Ever since, my Dad, I've put a protective barrier around myself. I guess that's why I never really dated. I didn't want to ever experience loss like that again, but I wasn't truly experiencing life that way. It wasn't til you that I opened myself up, and I couldn't handle the way it was going at times. That's why, this time I mean it, I'm willing to take it slow. I've pushed you and I've tried to rush this relationship. We don't have to do that. I know that now, and I want you to know I'm content with how it is now."

She was so happy to hear his confession. She felt like she needed to accelerate their relationship to somehow prove to him she was over Jacob. It was keeping her insides knotted up, but hearing that he knew she was still dealing with those feelings took some pressure off. She didn't have to prove herself to him. Instead of starting some kind of steamy make out session, because they were all alone, they ended up cuddling on the soft cushions together. They talked about everything imaginable: the pack, Bella's job, their parents' weird relationship, who were Leah's secret friends and if they should make New Year's resolutions. Bella knew she shouldn't make any given her track record, but Seth said he had few. Every once in awhile they'd stop talking a little while and would share some kisses. It ended up being the calmest she'd felt in months. It was reminiscent of when she first started hanging out with him. After hours of talking, she must have relaxed enough that she fell asleep.

* * *

Bella briefly stirred to notice the slightest hint of light coming through the window. She closed her eyes back and snuggled back into the warmth next to her. Warmth? Her eyes opened wide that time. What was so warm in her bed? She pulled her hand out of the covers and started to feel around. That wasn't the fabric of her comforter. She wasn't at home in her room. She was in Seth's house still. Of course, she didn't remember driving home the night before, only laying on the sofa with Seth. He must have sensed she was awake because he pulled her closer.

"Seth," she whispered.

"Huh," he breathed on the back of her neck.

"I'm in bed with you," she stated the obvious.

"I know, I put you here."

"When?"

"When you fell asleep with me on the couch."

"Seth, what about Charlie?"

"I called him, it's fine."

She finally got the courage to face him, he looked exactly the same in the mornings...flawless, but she knew she didn't and he was seeing for the first time that way.

His hand went up in her unruly hair, "This is cute." he patted the puff down a little. She covered her face in embarrassment.

"No, I'm serious, you look adorable, Bella. I could get use to waking up to you," he leaned in and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. "The cut looks better too."

She relaxed a little, but still was a little confused. "I can't believe I stayed over, and my Dad knows."

"Bella, we're adults. You're going to have to start acting your age, you aren't a teenager any longer."

"I know, but still..."

"Well, we only slept if you feel the need to give Charlie a play by play."

"No, that'll make it even more humiliating. I'll sound like I'm lying."

"Well, it's the truth."

"I know, but no matter what I say, it'll come out wrong."

"Do you want me to drive you home?"

"No, that's okay. Thanks for last night, it was a good night, even if I feel asleep on you."

"You can fall asleep with me anytime you want," and he smiled and that thought caused a stirring in her belly.

She ducked her head into his chest and blushed.

It was true, she needed to grow up. He helped her with her bag and walked her to her truck. He seemed happier than he'd been in awhile and they hadn't even done anything, physical at least. She knew when she left that morning, it was probably the first of many nights she'd stay in the little cottage which finally made her smile.

Charlie was very laid back about the sleep over. He didn't make a big deal about it most likely because he was just as embarrassed as she was about discussing anything that private with her. He looked at her eye, but shook his head and said, "Never mind, I don't want to know."

Over the next few days, she'd stayed alone for the most part. The area finally had it's first large snow, and Seth and Charlie had both been busy with the minor emergencies that brought. There were a few fender benders and a couple of wellness checks on the elderly, nothing major, typical Forks. However, a few days before Christmas, a couple of hikers were reported missing, which made her apprehensive. Seth, assured her from what he could tell, it was simply a case of underestimating the snow accumulations. Hopefully, they were smart enough to find shelter. He let Jacob know just in case something else was involved.

Paul had called her the night before and asked if he could stop by. She informed him she'd be baking cookies to which he quickly responded, "I'll definitely be there."

"They're for Christmas, not all for you."

He showed up early, that day. She was still on her laptop going over her recipes. He jumped in her bed and made himself cozy like he always did. She'd forgotten Charlie was still there, when he stopped by her room to say, "Goodbye." He rolled his eyes when he saw Paul sitting next to her.

"Hi Chief," Paul waved to Charlie.

"Hmph," was the only noise he made and then he left them alone.

"He's really softened up to me, don't you think?"

"Are you blind? He didn't even speak, he still hates you."

"Ouch, hate, that's such a harsh word. Are you sure it's hate?"

"Yep, I'm sure."

"So, hummingbird, we haven't seen much of each other in the past week."

"I know, were you counting the days?"

"Me? Hell no, I...I, what made you ask that?"

She giggled. "Relax, bro...I'm only kidding. We've both been busy, I guess," was her excuse.

"Yeah, well tell it to me straight, sister," she guessed he was going to keep with her sibling theme. "How's your life gotten better since you went Jake-free?"

She grimaced. Leave it to him to spoil the fun. She shrugged.

"It's better, right?"

"I guess."

"He's acting strange," he added.

"How's that?"

"Well, he's not being pissy which is out of character and you must be pretty proud of yourself for getting him to rescind his order."

"Wait, what? Do you mean the alpha order?" she couldn't believe it.

"Yep, we had a meeting and we're all still advised, but he can longer in good conscience order us to do so. Like he has a good conscience," Paul quipped.

"Wow, he said he wouldn't," Jacob could be so mysterious, she thought.

"Well, he did and little Seth couldn't hide his excitement. It was written all over his face."

"Shut up, me and Seth aren't even having sex and you know it."

"Yeah, but he must think that you're thinking about it since you started taking those pills."

She gagged on the water she'd just sipped out of the bottle. "How do you know about my pills? That's none of your business. I didn't tell anyone about those."

He pointed to his nose, which she hated every time he did that.

"Really, is there anything you can't smell?" Did she want the answer to that?

"Nope," he took an extra long, deep inhale.

"Stop it!" she yelled.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want you smelling me."

"I can't help it, sometimes you put off some really fucking sweet pheromones. I'm a man, they affect me."

"No, I don't," she was arguing with him for the sake of argument.

"How would you know? Yes, you do sweetheart and I'm not too proud to admit they make me aroused."

She looked at him. He had one of her pillows over his lap. He wasn't serious, he was messing with her. He thought it was funny to make her cheeks get red and see her flustered.

"You can check if that's what you're wondering."

"Ugh, you're sick, I'm going downstairs to bake, you can leave."

He followed in her footsteps. "Why would I leave? I'm here to help."

"You mean get in my way, more like it." She started to push his lip back in, but she remembered where that would direct his thoughts so she put her hand back to her side. "Alright, you can stay, but you've been warned."

"I'll do whatever you tell me, hummingbird."

"First off, no more discussions about my scents. Just because you can tell if Emily's on her period or Sue's menopausal or I'm ovulating, doesn't mean you should broadcast it."

"For a second, you were about to make me retch, but then you said that big word, that means ripe, doesn't it?" He smirked at her and she realized she'd walked right into that one. She took a step back and he took a step forward. Did he always have a devilish gleam in his eyes and why was it so appealing? She shouldn't be like those random women he made swoon, but she felt weak in the knees when he looked at her like that. She was soon backed against the counter and he put a hand on either side, but still kept himself off her. She knew he still messing with her, but the quickest way to get him to stop was with a weapon. She felt behind her and grabbed the only thing she felt. She held up the plastic spatula and threatened him, "Back up, I'm not afraid to use this."

He held up both hands in surrender, "You got me there, no telling what kind of damage you might do with that." He cupped his hands over his zipper, worrying about protecting that before anything else. They both had a good laugh after that and she ended up really appreciating the fact he'd come by to help. Once she finally made him understand the difference between tablespoon and teaspoon, they worked together pretty good. It was nice to have a strong stirrer who didn't tire out. Some of the cookie dough was thick. She was able to accomplish a lot more baking than she'd set out to do. Of course, after each batch cooled, she'd reward him with a warm cookie. Before she knew it, she had dozens of various batches of Christmas cookies to share at Sue's get together.

"Why do you love to tease me so much?" she asked as they were putting all the cookies in containers.

"Because you make it too damn easy, I can't resist."

"So you were joking earlier, about you know?"

He grabbed one more cookie and shoved the entire thing in his mouth silencing his answer, but he winked and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He had to head out for patrol, so she didn't ask again, never getting the answer she wanted.

She went upstairs to clean up and soak in a hot bath. She caught her reflection in the bathroom mirror before sitting in the tub. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair had a fine dusting of flour. "You like it," she said to herself. It was an true confession. She'd blended in most of her life and never felt special in any way. Even when Edward noticed her, she constantly worried it was a fluke and she was undeserving. Of course, she was correct because he finally dumped her. This thing that had been going on with Jake, Seth and Paul, was confusing at best, but they all had paid her a lot of attention. She was sitting in the steamy water and she could admit it, she liked it; no she loved it. It felt nice and she was sure in some weird, twisted way, she'd used all of them. It didn't lessen the fact, her love for Seth and Jake was real, but maybe if she would have not gotten hooked on the attention so early on, she could have been more decisive and not hurt all of them in the process. Where did Paul fit in this? She loved spending time with him, even when he was pushing her buttons. Speaking of, how was he so good at that? She knew the friendship annoyed Seth, but she wasn't about to give it up unless something happened that changed her mind. She rationalized that she was as good for Paul as he was for her. That was the last thought she had before she dunked her head under the water. It was time to wash all that over-thinking down the drain.

* * *

Christmas Eve was very cold and snowy. Seth came to get Bella and Charlie because his truck was better at navigating the roads which were not too bad considering the weather. She had all her gifts boxed up except Paul's wouldn't fit.

"What's in this big one?" Seth asked her.

"It's for Paul."

"You're joking?"

"No," he had a strange look on his face. "Come on, Seth. I wanted to do something nice for him. You know his family never did."

"Probably not, but if he's getting the biggest gift, we're never going to hear the end of it."

"What else is new? So, he rubs it in a little, you're still my guy, so it shouldn't matter."

Seth shrugged, she could tell he wasn't completely convinced, "I guess not."

Charlie repeated the question when they all climbed in the cab, "What's in the that big box, Bells?"

"It's a telescope for Paul."

He and Seth united, "A what?"

"You heard me. Paul likes astronomy."

"I can't believe you spent that kind of money on that miscreant," Charlie added.

"Dad, he's a decent man and he's my friend. Are you ever going to attempt to be a little nicer?"

Charlie grumbled under his breath. She glanced out the corner of her eye. Surely, Seth wasn't jealous, but he did seem to be gripping the steering wheel extra tight and his jaw was clinched. Maybe it was because of the weather. She slid her arm onto his thigh and gave him a squeeze. His face softened and he had a hint of a smile. She was relieved because she certainly didn't want him to start the night out jealous.

The Clearwater's house was packed. Sam and Emily weren't there and neither were Jacob and Nadia. She knew Nadia wasn't welcome, but she thought Jake might have dropped by already. Bella made herself useful right away and helped Sue in the kitchen. Leah had already picked up Bella's contribution to the feast that morning. It didn't take long once the food was set out, for everyone to get their fill. Everyone was sitting around Sue's living room having a good time. It was the first time Bella had seen Quil so laid back. He wasn't with Claire and he seemed very relaxed.

Most everyone started to get ready to leave after a few hours. Only Paul stayed with them. The rest of the pack had left, and Jacob never came by. Bella went off to the side with Seth so they could exchange gifts. He opened her five gifts for him. He laughed at her Regular Show blanket, but she'd also gotten him a nice one to match the new sofa. She got him a few things for his kitchen and a framed picture of them for his room.

"Sorry, I only have one for you." He pulled a tiny wrapped gift out of his pocket. Her first thought was, _Oh my God, it's a tiny box. It's not a ring, it's not a ring, _chanted in the back of her mind. It didn't calm her down though, her hands were shaking when she started to unwrap the gift.

"Calm down, Bella. It's not a ring," he knew her pretty well.

She opened the little box and by that time all eyes were on her including Jacob Black, who had slipped in unnoticed a few minutes before. Inside, there was a necklace with a bright blue flower pendant. Seth smiled because he could tell how much she loved the necklace. He told her the card went along with it, but she should open that when she got home, so that she could concentrate on the meaning of the story.

"Do you like it?"

"Of course, it's beautiful and now you have me intrigued, I can't wait to read the story that accompanies the necklace." She gave him a kiss on the cheek. When she looked around the room again, Jacob had disappeared.

Paul came up behind her, "Can I give you yours from me tomorrow?"

"Sure, but I have yours with me. I kinda want everyone to see you open it."

"Sounds fine with me, hummingbird."

"Seth went to get it for me."

Paul was all smiles when he saw the large box. Bella saw Jake had come back in the room for the unveiling. She walked with Paul to the center of the room. He tore into the paper rather quickly to reveal the hidden prize.

"No fucking way." He looked at Bella and she bounced on the balls of her feet. His excitement was contagious.

Before she could respond any further, he scooped her up off the floor in a giant bear hug. He spun them both around, but still didn't put her feet back on the ground. He continued to hold her in the air. He looked around at the spectators, "See...I told you two dumbasses, she liked me best!"

"Paul," she chastised him.

"Seth, I'm gonna kiss your girl."

"Lahote," Seth warned.

"He's joking, Seth," but before she could insist that he put her down, he did it. He kissed her full on the mouth with his hot lips and because she was talking, her lips weren't even fully closed. Of course, he didn't make it linger, it was quick, but it completely caught her off guard. It had the same affect on everyone else in the room, they all looked to be in complete shock except for Leah. She was in the corner laughing her ass off at the uncomfortable moment. Bella couldn't believe Paul had done such a thing in front of Seth, Jake, and her father. Oh, poor Charlie, he looked horrified.

"Put me down," she lifted her flattened palm to him once again, but he grabbed her wrist as he sat her feet firmly on the floor.

"Not so fast, Bella...remember what I told you about that, but it was a nice touch to make them think you didn't enjoy that as much as I know you did," he whispered to her. A lot of good it did for him to whisper, half the room heard him loud and clear. She smoothed out her clothes and hair, and tried to regain her dignity. Seth didn't look as mad as she thought he might, but she scurried over to him to make sure he wasn't going to get into with Paul later.

"What'd I tell you, honey?"

"He was just excited, Seth and he likes being an ass, you know that? You aren't mad, are you?"

"Naw, but you need to be firm with him Bella or one day he might get so excited he tries to hump your leg. I told you he's just like a stray dog."

She playfully slapped at his shoulder, "Seth."

He gave her a hug and kissed her forehead, "I'm not kissing your mouth to you get rid of Lahote's germs."

She saw Jake still hanging around. It was kind of sad, he wasn't talking to anyone. She wondered if she had conjured him up in her mind. Everyone walked by him like he was invisible. He motioned to her with his head towards the hallway and then he headed that way.

"Um Seth, would it be alright if I say something to Jacob? He and I already..."

Seth stopped her, "Yeah, I know."

"You do?" What did Seth know?

"Yes, Jake and I had a talk. He asked if it was okay, he already had a Christmas present for you. It's alright. Go to my Mom's study, I understand."

Bella was constantly learning more and more about them all. Just when she thought, she had them figured out, they did something completely unexpected. They all seemed to know her better than she knew herself, which was quite exasperating.

"Hey Jake," she said to him because he had his back to the door.

He turned around. "Hi Bells, Merry Christmas. Looks like you've been having a fun night."

"Oh yeah, Paul. He has no manners."

"Uh huh," Jacob was holding back what he really thought about what had happened. She could tell.

"Did you get some food, Jake?"

"Yeah, I made a plate and tried a few of your cookies," he winked at her.

"How'd you know I made them?"

"I just did."

"Oh, well, you can take some home if you want."

She pulled the gift from behind her back. "I had these done awhile back. I hope it's okay, but I still want you to have them."

He took the bag from her and pulled out the retouched beach picture. He smiled, "I remember that day."

"No you don't, look how small we were. How could you?"

"Nope, I remember. I never forget the really important moments and that was the day I knew you were special, like no other girl I'd ever met."

His words spoke directly to her heart. She'd blocked out so much of her childhood, but Jacob was confident he remembered and she believed him now. He pulled out the next one.

"Wow, our first pic on the cliffs. This is really awesome, it's a piece of art, not just a cellphone picture. I'm impressed." The photo place had done an amazing job on it. The colors had all been enhanced, it almost resembled an oil painting. "Thanks, Bells."

So much had transpired, since that day they took the picture. She'd gone back and forth wondering if it was right to give him that, but she knew she wanted to be able to look back and she thought he might too.

He also pulled out a small package out of his pocket. It was wrapped in green tissue paper. "Here's what I made you," he sat the paper in her palm.

She carefully unwrapped it and revealed a tightly woven leather bracelet with the most intricately carved, wooden wolf hanging from the center of the bracelet. "You made this?" She rubbed the wolf between her fingers. How could those large hands make something so tiny and detailed?

"Yes, it's a skill passed on to me from Dad. I don't do it very much now a days, but I really wanted you to have it."

"Oh Jake, it's so beautiful, thank you. I'll always treasure it."

"Can I put it on your wrist?"

"Sure," she handed the bracelet back to him and extended her hand. He wrapped it around her, she could feel him trembling a little or maybe it was her. It took a couple of times before he got the clasp to lock and he rubbed his finger over the spot one last time before letting her hand go. His hand then went to her eyebrow.

"That healed up quick. I don't think it'll leave a scar."

"No, it was much better the next day, thanks for helping out with it. I'm sorry I was such a spaz that day. I just wasn't ready to see you alone yet, if I'm being honest."

"And you are now?" He was standing close, too close. No, she wasn't, but she didn't voice it. She stepped back and made the excuse, she needed to get back and see if Charlie was ready to leave.

He touched the blue flower on her necklace. "The Loyal Sweetheart, I guess it fits."

"What? Seth said there's a story. Is that what it's called?"

He shook his head.

"Jacob, are you okay?"

"Are you?"

"I'm trying to be, I guess."

"Well, I'm not even trying and I don't care."

"Jake..."

"Bells, don't tell me how to cope and I'll do you the same courtesy."

Her eyes fell to the floor. She was stupid to think two weeks would have made much of a difference. "I should go, Charlie's probably anxious to get home." Getting out of Sue's cramped office was the only way she was going to keep her emotions intact.

"Sure, Sure, I'm heading out too." He followed her back into the living room. Leah and Seth were laughing about an inside joke. Charlie was helping Sue clean up. Paul had his nose stuck in his instruction book for his telescope. Jacob looked like he was headed straight for the door, when Charlie made an announcement. "Hold on everyone, I have one more gift tonight."

"What, Dad? " she didn't know what he was talking about.

"It's for you, Bells."

"Me, I thought you and I were giving gifts at home in the morning?"

"Well, I thought everyone would enjoy seeing you get this one. Have a seat, it's a good one."

Paul and Seth ended up sitting on either side of her and Jacob stopped near the door, he hadn't left after all.

Charlie pulled an envelope out from under the tree. Sue looked like she knew what was up, but no one else did. Bella carefully tore one end off the card. She pulled out what she immediately recognized as a ticket. It was a plane ticket.

"Dad, you got me a ticket to go see Mom, oh my god! Wait, two days from now? I'm going to Florida in two days!" She screamed. She hadn't realized how homesick she was for Renee and Phil, but she truly was. They had been her rocks for many years and no matter how many hundreds of faults, Renee had, she did miss her.

"Take you time kiddo, there's more. Of course, the rest was your Mom's idea. I don't much about that literature stuff." Bella dug deeper in the envelope, she pulled out another kind of ticket. It was to a Jane Austen event. Bella had heard of these, she'd researched them before, but one had never come close to home.

"Oh wow! I love it, this is amazing." She, Charlie, and Sue seemed to be the only ones in the room that appreciated what a wonderful gift her Mom and Dad had put together for her, because when she looked around, she noticed Seth, Jacob and Paul looked like they'd been gutted. None of them looked happy for her.

"That's round trip, right?" Paul was the first to ask.

"Of course. I leave the 27th and come back Jan. 2nd."

She turned to Seth, "Did you know about this?"

"No, not at all," he forced a smile.

"You look disappointed, it's only a week, Seth. You had to know eventually, I'd go visit my Mom. I haven't seen her in over 4 months."

"No, I'm happy for you Bella. I'll miss you though."

"Actually, it's only six days," she reminded him.

She heard the front door shut after that and Jacob was no longer hanging around.

Bella forgot all about the brooding pair beside her and ran to throw her arms around Charlie's neck. "Thanks so much, this was such a surprise, and I hate surprises but you did good, Dad. This is great!"

She was exhausted that night when she climbed into bed, but her thoughts bounced around for a little while. If it hadn't been for the unexpected trip back to Florida, she might have spent more time focusing on how her talk with Jacob went. It was evident that they'd both given each other a remembrance, even if no amount of time or space would ever allow her to forget.

_**~ Thanks so much my loyal and faithful readers.**_


	27. Chapter 27

_**Wouldn't you know it, as soon as I posted the last chapter, fanfiction went down for a few hours. I hope everyone got the notice, I updated. I really wanted to get this one out to you quick, since it's short.**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephanie Meyer.**_

_**I searched far and wide for a story that might appeal to Seth and Bella shippers. This is a real legend I found and credit goes to Glenn Walker's Indigenous Peoples Literature.**_

Chapter 26

The Loyal Sweetheart

* * *

_Long ago, in a village beside a river, there lived a beautiful girl whom many a young man wished to marry. But she smiled on all alike and encouraged no one. Her name was Blue Flower._

_Among her admirers was a young man who was especially skilled in hunting. For many moons he looked upon the girl with longing, but without any hope that he could win her favour._

_At last, one autumn, she gave him reason to hope. And so he dared to consult the old woman of the village who carried proposals of marriage. He wanted to know his chances before he departed on the winter's hunt._

_To the young man's great joy, the marriage-maker brought back a favourable reply from both the girl and her father. The message made him determined to win even greater fame as a hunter. He wanted to prove to the girl's father that he was indeed worthy of so beautiful a daughter._

_"Will you wait for me until we return from he winter's hunt?" he asked her._

_The girl gave her consent to his plan and her promise to remain true to him, whatever happened. She added the promise, "If you do not return, I will remain a maiden all my life. I will never marry any other man."_

_So the young man completed his plans to join the others of the village on the long winter's hunt. On the evening before their departure, he and the girl had a final canoe ride on the river. Then he sang his farewell in this love song of his people:_

_Often on a lonely day, my love,  
You look on the beautiful river  
And down the shining stream._

_When last I looked upon you,  
How beautiful was the stream,  
How beautiful was the moon  
And how happy were we!  
Since that night, my fair one,  
I have thought of you always._

_Often on a lonely day, my love,  
You look on the beautiful river  
And down the shining stream._

_When we paddled the canoe together  
On that beautiful water,  
How fair the mountains looked  
How beautiful the red leaves  
As the gentle wind whirled them!_

_After the winter snows,  
When spring has come once more  
We will paddle again together.  
Then the leaves will be green,  
The mountains fresh and fair._

_Often on a lonely day, my love,  
Look on the beautiful river,  
Down the shining stream,  
And know that spring will come._

_Next day, the hunters departed. The old men, the women, and the children settled down to finish the autumn's work of preparing for the winter._

_Not many days afterward, a war party attacked the village and destroyed it. They carried away as prisoners all the young girls. Among them was the promised bride of the hunter. When the warriors reached their home territory, they persuaded, or forced, many of the young women to become their wives. But Blue Flower refused to submit. The warriors threatened to burn her alive. Still she refused. She preferred death to breaking her promise to her sweetheart._

_The warriors complained to their chief and asked that she be burned at the stake. But he would not listen to the cruel counsel of his men. Instead, he gave the girl a longer time in which to make up her mind. Her bravery greatly impressed him. He would save her life now, he thought, and marry her later to one of his best warriors, in order that their children might become a race of heroes._

_Weeks passed, and the hunters returned. When they found their village in ashes, they knew which war party had struck. The young hunter, singing his vengeance song, gathered a host of warriors and started northward. They surprised the largest village of their enemy, killed many people, and took others as prisoners._

_When the fighting was over, the victors and their friends who had been held captive by the enemy were reunited. There was great rejoicing. Perhaps happiest of all were the young hunter-warrior and Blue Flower, who had remained true to him in spite of threats and promises._

_The young man, still thirsting for revenge, wanted to torture and burn the enemy that had been taken prisoners. But his sweetheart stopped him. She reminded him that they had not treated her cruelly._

_She was a gentle and peace-loving girl, as well as a loyal sweetheart. In a short time, she became a loyal wife._

* * *

Bella had read the story at least ten times when she woke up that Christmas morning. It was a beautiful legend, but surely Seth wasn't meaning it applied to her. She felt she'd been anything but loyal and she certainly did not exhibit that sort of bravery. She decided he was merely sharing a beautiful love story with her to accompany the blue flower pendant.

Charlie and Bella had a relatively quiet Christmas Day together. She cooked a small ham for them with a few sides. Of course, she'd called her Mom early to go over the surprise trip. It had also snowed a little more throughout the day. Once Bella noticed her Dad drift off in his chair after lunch, she decided to get busy packing. She'd need a completely different wardrobe at Renee's. She had left some of her things there, so she could pack light. Hopefully, she'd get it all in a bag that she could carry on.

She walked down the stairs with a load a laundry and saw a face peaking through the window. She remembered he was bringing by her gift. Bella dropped the clothes on the floor and went over to let him in rather than making him stand out in the cold any longer. As she was opening the door, she glanced back at Charlie who was still out in his recliner. Hopefully, he'd stay asleep a little longer.

"Merry Christmas, Paul," the two hugged as soon as he stepped inside.

Bella pointed back to her sleeping father and he knowingly shook his head. He grabbed her hand and pulled her up towards her room. He didn't waste any time, as soon as they got into her room, he pulled out a small, wrapped gift. Bella noted the theme, all three of them had gotten her something small.

"Open it, I've been dreaming about the look on your face when you see what I got you."

"Aw, Paul, you dream about me."

He, for once, looked shy and embarrassed.

"Did you wrap this?"

"No, I paid extra for the wrapping."

She thought it looked rather pristine with perfect edges and hidden tape.

Bella continue to open it and realized it appeared to also be some type of jewelry judging from the black, hinged velvet box. Her fingers tingled slightly as she flipped it open. She sucked in a breath, because it was perfect. There wasn't a more perfect item he could have gotten her. Inside, there was a delicate silver ring. On the top, a hummingbird with spread wings was perched in the center. The tail and the wings were inlaid with turquoise.

"Paul, this is so perfect. I love it."

"I knew you would. This way, you'll never forget you're my hummingbird."

"I could never forget, but I'll still wear it always."

"Here," he pulled the ring out and reached for Bella's right hand. She stretched her fingers out. He slid the ring easily on her ring finger. It was a perfect fit.

He kept her hand in his and they both stared at how the ring looked on her finger.

"Bet you never expected, I'd be the first guy to put a ring on your finger, right? I am the first, aren't I?"

"Yes, you're the first."

"Good," was all he said with an assured look on his face.

They ended up in a tight embrace. Paul kept his face very close to her neck which sent an electrical current down her spine. She wasn't in a hurry to pull back, she felt safe and comfortable in his arms. "I wish you weren't leaving," he spoke when he finally released her.

"Why? It's only a few days."

"I know, but I'm use to always being able to see you whenever I want."

"Well, you can still text me and maybe I'll have time to call once or twice."

He still seemed apprehensive. Bella had also gone over this with Seth, who acted the same way the night before.

She took Paul into the kitchen to feed him, and Charlie frowned when he saw them come down the stairs. Guess, he wasn't as sound asleep as she'd imagined.

Paul told her he was anxious to take the telescope out, but since it was winter, he might have a little bit of a wait for an unobstructed view of the sky. He made Bella swear, the first night it was clear, she'd come over and they'd stay up all night looking at the stars. She agreed and even grabbed his hand and linked their pinkies, "I swear."

Seth spent most of the day after Christmas with her. She was completely ready to leave early the following day. He was going to drive her to the airport. She had an 8 am flight which meant they'd leave very early, before dawn. He seriously brought up safety with her. "Seth, you realize I lived there for five years and didn't have a single vampire encounter. It's sunny Florida, remember?"

"I know, but Jake said we should go over a few things."

"Jake?"

"Yes, come on, you know he oversees your protection details. It's hard for us wolves, we've grown accustomed to protecting you. It's in our nature. I'll drop you off and I'm pretty sure Paul is your pick up because I have to work that afternoon. Text him when you land and wait to go outside til he says he's there."

"Seth, you're making me nervous."

"Good, you can never be too careful."

"No, I don't mean because I'm afraid of anything going wrong. You're making me nervous, because the pack is taking this too seriously. It's an airport, very public. You all should take it down a notch. Tell Jacob that's my exact response. I'm going to enjoy myself for a few days, you all should enjoy the break."

Seth finally stopped talking about safety procedures, and the two of them watched a little TV together. She hadn't pointed it out, but he finally pulled her hand up to get a closer look.

"Lahote," he brushed his thumb over her hummingbird ring.

"Yes."

"Oh," she noticed his eyes glance at the charm the hung on her wrist as well.

"That's it, 'oh'," he was upset, she could tell. Technically, getting jewelry from not one but two other men was pretty personal, but he had no reason to worry.

"What else do you want me to say? I'm sure you don't want to hear how I think he has some weird obsession with you."

"Obsession?" that was a horrible word to describe it. "I'm the only woman that's ever treated him as an equal. We don't use each other, we're good friends."

"It's fine, Bella. I know you're friends. I accept it. At least, I know he will always protect you, but sometimes he makes it seem like it's something more, just to fuck with me. I shouldn't let him get to me, he's been like that since I was 15."

Bella changed the subject when she asked Seth to help her take down the decorations. If she waited for Charlie, it would never get done. The tree would be a pile of needles when she returned home. She boxed up the ornaments and lights and Seth pulled the tree out back to where Charlie could burn it in his brush pile later. Seth left early so she could get to bed, four AM would happen before she knew it.

* * *

"Mom," Bella ran to her mother when she spotted Phil's head above the crowd. They met up near the exit of the Jacksonville airport.

Bella hugged Renee and Phil and then they headed out to the lot where they parked. Renee was already commenting on how pale Bella had become living in Forks.

"Mom, I've always been fair."

"Not that fair," she insisted. Bella looked down at her arms, which looked the same to her.

Of course, Renee and Phil had overly sun-kissed skin. Renee had lightened her hair up once again to hide the gray she insisted she did not have. It was a short drive back to their house. Renee and Bella were going to the Jane Austen event in a few days. The college and the Fine Arts center were sponsoring it. Bella was shocked her mother had a ticket as well. She said she wanted to spend as much quality time with her as possible. There were endless hints dropped that she could move back. Although, Renee noted that Bella seemed much more extroverted and she thought it suited her.

They spent the first day outdoors. Bella took a walk on the beach in December and it was great. She didn't even need a jacket. Her mom had tried on several occasions to get her to talk more about her romantic life, but she tried to be evasive when she could.

"So this Seth, he's your final choice, do I at least have that right?"

"Mom."

"And he's younger right?" Renee would love to imagine Bella was a cougar like herself.

"Yes, but only by four years, so don't get overly excited."

"Pictures, sweetie show your mother a few pictures."

Bella pulled out her phone and watched her mother drool over Seth for the next 15 minutes.

"Oh, Bella no wonder, you picked him. What a hottie?"

"Thanks," like she could take the credit for Seth's good looks.

"I need to see the other one you were in the love triangle with, Billy Black's son. Do you still have a picture of him?"

"Mom, we weren't in a love triangle and why do you need to see Jake?"

"Come on, Bella. I missed out all those years. We never had girl talk about boys. Give me a little indulgence."

Bella probably should have gotten all the pictures of Jacob off her phone, but she still had them. She tried to flash one in front of her mother, but she snatched the phone away.

"Oh my, these are the kind of men you attract now? I see why you were confused. Honey, you want my advice?"

"No, not really. I'm good."

"Well, I don't understand why you had to make a choice so soon. You're young and beautiful. There's no reason to get tied down to one man right now. After your father, I spent several years trying out all sorts of men and it was eye opening. Let me tell you." Bella was not about to endure this tale again, she'd heard it before, unfortunately.

Bella covered her ears, and started chanting, "Lalalala."

"Bella, stop that. Are you really that immature that we cant talk about sex? You're a woman now. I presume with your own sex life." Bella knew she presumed wrong, but she was not exactly the same as she'd been when she lived with her mother.

"Yes, Mom I'm still very immature, so please don't discuss any portion of your sex life with me. I can't handle it."

"Answer one question for me. Are you being responsible?"

"Bye Mom, I'm going to get a shower," she shut the bathroom door and locked it to flee her mother.

Bella washed her sandy feet and took an extra long shower hoping to avoid another inquisition from Renee. She came out of the bathroom with no such luck. She was waiting on her.

"Bella, who's Paul?"

"What? How do you know about Paul? Nevermind, he's a good friend."

"Oh well, he called."

"He did?"

"Yes, and do you always store nude photos of your friends in your phone? There might be hope for you yet, girl."

"Give me that," Bella snatched her phone out of her mother's hand. Freaking Paul, he put a picture of himself with his contact. He wasn't nude, she squinted to look a little closer. Was he? No, she decided it was his usually attire, those low hung shorts made it appear that he was.

"What the hell do they feed the boys on the reservation and you're sure, he's only a friend?"

"Yes Mom."

"Oh, Jacob Black sent you a message too. I guess you two are still friends?"

"Mom, you went through my phone?"

"You never changed the passcode. I saw it light up, it could've been important," Renee rationalized.

Bella remembered her doctor in Jacksonville made her give all her passwords to her mother when she was really having problems.

"I'm going to lie down," Bella used the excuse that she was tired, so she could see why Jacob would send a message.

Turns out he was simply checking on her. They weren't supposed to be communicating, but one reply led to two and before she knew it, she'd carried on a lengthy conversation with him just like old times.

Bella made sure to check in with Charlie, Seth and Paul later, as well. Renee and Phil took her out to dinner that night and since Phil was present, Bella had a reprieve from all the relationship questions. They mostly discussed Bella's job and how Charlie was. Apparently her mother and Phil had enjoyed their new freedom that didn't revolve around babysitting her. They'd taken two big trips in the past few months. She was happy for them. It seemed to be working out better for everyone that she lived in Washington again.

The Jane Austen event was better than Bella expected. Renee was bored out of her mind, but she pretended it wasn't too bad. There were a few reenactments, that were like mini-plays and lots of memorabilia. Bella read every description, and studied each piece. They stayed the whole afternoon. She hugged Renee that night and told her how perfect it all was. She promised to come visit again in the summer. Phil said they really would like to plan a trip to Hawaii and of course, they wanted her to join them. It sounded great, she hoped she could make that a reality. That would make for a lively conversation with Seth and his friends.

The six days flew by and before she knew it, she was on a cramped airplane with a screaming baby beside her and hyperactive kid behind her that wouldn't stop kicking her seat. She was very anxious to exit that aircraft when she heard the announcement they'd be landing soon. Bella saw Paul had texted her when she turned on her phone. He was almost there.

She got her bag and headed to the door to leave the terminal. His text was almost 20 minutes ago, so he'd be out there waiting on her. Her phone buzzed as soon as she got outside, but she had scanned the area and didn't see him.

"Hey, where are you?" she asked.

"Are you still inside?"

"No, I just walked out."

"Go back inside, some dumbass had a wreck about three cars in front of me. I'm trying to get around it, so wait until I text you."

She was fine with going back in. She could go sit down in a seat indoors and grab a hot drink, it was freezing out there. Florida was a memory, back to reality.

The next few occurrences were literally a blur. A firm hand grabbed hold of her arm. She attempted to pull back thinking someone had her confused with someone else, but no such luck. Fingers gripped her tighter and she was pulled so quick, she thought she came out of her shoes. It felt like she'd been lifted off the ground. Her mind caught up with what was happening and she was about to scream, but she realized she was shoved into the back of a car before a sound made its way out of her throat. A familiar smell filled her nostrils, and she snapped her head to face her assailant, "No, no, no; this can't be real."

_**~Thanks for reading. **_

_**Cliffy again? You can't be serious? Yep, I am. It's a good one, I promise.**_


	28. Chapter 28

_**The story continues...**_

Chapter 27

"Alice, what the hell? Alice, what are you doing?"

Alice Cullen was sitting beside Bella pulling off her black gloves and peeling back the scarf that was wrapped around her head. She was bouncing up and down on the soft, leather seat like an excited child.

"Just look at you, Bella. You've matured, you're a woman now. Oh, you look wonderful, just like I pictured you."

Bella glanced in the rear view mirror to see Jasper's hesitant grin. "Afternoon, Bella."

"Stop the car," she insisted.

Jasper looked back to his mate, "No, keep going, Bella and I haven't talked yet."

"You want to talk, that's why you kidnapped me?" Kidnapped again in a short amount of time, by a different person, was this really Bella's life?

"Silly, we haven't kidnapped you, it's just...do you have any idea how hard it is to find you alone? What is the story behind the friends you keep nowadays? Wolves, really Bella, don't you know they're dangerous?"

"How do you know about my friends?"

"Bella, we still know all about you, Edward wouldn't have it any other way."

"Edward?" for the first time in months that name caused her chest to ache.

Bella did a quick look around at the passing scenery, they were not on the way back to Forks. "Where are we going? Do you have any idea the kind of trouble you're asking for? My friend was almost there to pick me up and when I'm not there, he'll alert the entire La Push pack. Jacob doesn't honor the treaty any longer. Alice, you need to let me out of the car this instant. I'll call Paul and tell him where to get me."

Bella reached for her phone but Alice snatched it from her, "None of that just yet, Bella. Honestly, are you going to be quiet and listen? I'm here to protect you." Alice explained.

"Protect me? No thanks. I've got plenty of that 24/7. Give me my fucking phone back, Alice."

"Wow, you've definitely developed some poor habits. I guess you picked up swearing from those wolves you call friends." Alice held Bella's phone and she could see the screen light up every few seconds. The calls were coming in. The blue light was flashing at the top, so were the texts. They knew already. All Paul had to do was step out of his truck and he would have smelled her. This was going to end so badly.

Jasper continued on his course at an accelerated speed taking her further and further away from home. She continued to plead with him to stop and Alice chirped on seemingly ignoring her. She acted like this was some mutual meeting where they would catch up on the past few years. "Alice," Bella screamed again. "I have to go back."

"NO! Bella that's just it, you can't go back. Forks is not a good place for you. I had a vision and you were crying."

"Um, I don't know how much you've checked, but I've been crying for almost six years, it's not a big deal. Thanks, for your concern but I don't need it."

"No, it's more than a big deal. It was a terrible scene, you were inconsolable sitting inside a little white cottage with green shutters. If you go back, something will happen that will destroy you."

Weird, Alice described Seth's house to her, but still the crying excuse was lame. Alice's visions couldn't be trusted according to Kelsee and she trusted her way more than the vampire.

"Edward says it's time anyway. He's given you long enough to experience life and mature."

What? What fantasy world did they all live in? She knew they were not normal, but this sounded delusional.

"Alice, Edward left. He and I were over a long time ago. What do you mean, mature? That's rich considering he's frozen at 17."

Alice explained it in detail almost too quick. Bella thought she was missing some of the key details, but in the end she heard her loud and clear. They were there to take her to Edward. He sent them for her and he expected her to join them in Alaska with the Denali coven. Bella came unglued, she was done politely asking Jasper to stop. She started kicking his seat as hard as she could. She banged her fist into the back window til her knuckles bled, which wasn't the smartest thing to do considering Jasper's history. Lucky for her, he seemed to have better control.

"Bella, stop it before you injure yourself further. Edward would be upset with me if I had to restrain you, but I will for your own protection."

Finally, Jasper attempted to be reasonable, "Darlin, maybe we should rethink this. Bella truly doesn't appear to want to join us. Edward said she wouldn't need to be forced, but that's not the case."

Bella saw Alice look at her arm and she tucked it under her other arm. The scar was covered by her long sleeves. Alice squinted her eyes together, "Show me."

"Why?"

"Because, I need to check something."

Bella freed her arm and rolled the sleeve of her jacket up slightly.

"What did you do, Bella?"

"It's none of your business. I get it now, you just ratted out your brother by the way you're acting. Now I know, he did that to me on purpose, didn't he? It's gone," she held it up for Jasper as well. "Sorry to disappoint you all, Edward no longer has any sort of hold on me. Jasper, since you're the only one that seems to be reasonable, don't prolong this any longer. Stop the car and let me go."

"No, Jazz." Alice held up her hand. "Bella, you have no idea what the wolves are capable of. When you hear the truth, I know you'll want to come with us. He hunted them, they weren't a threat to anyone, but he tracked them and he murdered her."

"Alice, I have no idea what you're rambling about."

"Carlisle said it was the leader. Benjamin described him to us all."

"Who's Benjamin?"

"He's a close friend of Carlisle's from Egypt. He came to stay with us and Irina was teaching him how we survive. None of the Denali's feed on humans. She'd been taking him on hunting expeditions in various remote areas. He was going to become like us until that savage beast surprised them one night. They fled, but he pursued them relentlessly. Benjamin saw what he did to Irina. He had no mercy even though he knew she wasn't a threat. He ripped her to shreds in front of him. She was begging for her life."

Bella wished she didn't have to listen to this story, but she wasn't going to talk about Jacob with Alice and Jasper. If he did what she said, he did it for a reason.

"Bella, don't you get it? He's more of a monster than we are and you want to go back to live among them?"

"Alice, it's what he was born to do, he protects humans; all vampires are his natural enemy." Bella had to defend him, because Alice was wrong. Jacob was not a monster.

"They weren't anywhere near his tribe, and even Benjamin hadn't fed on a human in weeks, since he'd been in America. He barely escaped. He gave up, you know, went back to Egypt and back to his old ways of survival after what he saw. Any human that dies because of him is blood on the alpha's hands."

"That's a lie. You're wrong about everything, and no, I still have no desire to go with you." Bella leaned in towards the seat, "Jasper, they're coming and they'll show no mercy. I swear it, do you know how outnumbered you'll be?"

Bella could tell the car started to decelerate. Thank god, he was going to heed her warning.

She extended her hand in front of Alice one last time. Bella grabbed the phone, the last call on there was from Seth, so she hit the call back.

"Bella," he sounded frantic.

"Seth, I'm fine," she assured him even though Alice's golden stare was still trained on her.

"But Paul smelled one of the Cullen's."

"Yeah, but they're letting me go, Seth. It's a big misunderstanding." That was a lie, and they all knew it.

Jasper stopped the car at a small gas station. Bella looked up at the road sign, "Hoodsport, Seth. I'm at the lake road, North Lake Cushman Road, road 119." What in the hell? Was Jasper going to drive them in a circle? She had no idea. At some point, she figured they would have tried to board the ferry if they really planned to take her to Alaska.

"Okay, I made an excuse to leave work, I'll phase and let them know, the rest of the pack is on the way; but they had no idea which way you went since they left in a car."

Bella put her hand on the door handle to leave the car, but it was still locked. Jasper unlocked it. "You better leave as fast as you can, Alice."

"Bella, what do I tell Edward?" was her last question.

"Nothing...tell him I have nothing to say to him and I don't ever want to see him again. All of you better watch your backs and don't ever think about coming to the area again."

Bella wasn't sure if what she was saying to Alice registered. She looked oblivious to anything Bella had said during the whole ordeal. If it hadn't been for Jasper, she knew Alice would have never let her go. They had come full circle from that birthday party when he wanted to kill her, because she was crediting him with saving her life today.

Bella was glad she had a little bit of money in her pocket, she went inside and got a coffee. Hopefully, her bag was still safe back at the airport. She didn't have anything else with her, but about ten dollars and her cell phone. Seth didn't mention Charlie. She wasn't sure if she should call him or not. He was working and probably expected her there when he got home. Hopefully, he didn't know there was any reason to be concerned yet.

She felt like she was being suspicious wandering around the small station/bait shop. She kept watch out the window, because she really didn't want to stand outside in the cold. After the longest 20 minutes of her life, she saw him emerge from the woods. She threw the coffee in the trash can and ran to meet him. Paul picked her up and held her tight in his arms.

"Hummingbird."

He was her best friend, her protector and her rescuer all rolled into one. She couldn't let go and he didn't either. He brushed her hair down with his hand and he rested his chin on her shoulder. She felt him breathing heavily against her and then a few trembles went through his body. He must have smelled them on her.

"You alright?" he asked.

"Yes, now that you're here," he sat her back on the ground and checked for himself. He grabbed her hands, and questioned her with his gaze. "Banging on the windows."

He smirked, "You fought back, gave em hell, right?"

"Of course," he pulled her into his side with one arm.

"Collin will be here with my truck soon, do you want to go back inside?"

"No, I'm warm enough next to you. Who's out there?"

"All of them except Seth, he's going to meet you at Charlie's and Collin's driving."

"Jake?"

"Yeah, he's just waiting til you're headed back and then we'll go."

"Go where, Paul?"

He pulled her closer and kissed her forehead, "Hummingbird, I don't need to spell it out for you, do I?"

"You all are going after them?" she knew they'd want to but she was still shocked that's what they intended to do.

"We have to."

"But I have no idea where they live. You can't search then entire state of Alaska."

"Wanna bet?"

She was worried. She wished they could all forget it happened. It didn't seem safe for the wolves to be so far from home in unfamiliar territory. The Cullen's with the Denali's would have the advantage. She wasn't sure of the numbers they had. She didn't want anyone to get hurt or worse. The pack might misinterpret her pleadings. They might have thought she was still defending the Cullen's. It was true, she believed Carlisle was a decent man and Esme had always treated her kindly. Edward should be punished for what he'd attempted, but maybe hearing her rejection would be enough. She couldn't believe that his abandonment was some sort of grand plan of his. She shivered to think, she was willing to die because of it. She had to stop them, as soon as Collin got there, he'd whisk her away.

She pulled away from Paul and marched to the woods determined to reason with Jacob. He grabbed her arm, "No, Bella, you don't need to be out there."

"Jake," she screamed, but she didn't see any sign of any of them. "Jake, come out and talk to me."

"Hummingbird, Jake can't talk to you right now."

"Why not? He just needs to phase back. Jacob, I need to see you."

"No, Bella, listen to me. You can't be around him right now, he can't phase back, now come on." he pulled her arm to lead her away from the forest.

She turned around once again, "Jacob Black, you can't go after them. It's too dangerous. Jake, I know you're listening to me. Forget what happened. I told them I don't want to be with them, it's over. Let's all go back. Come to Charlie's if you want. I'll tell you everything. Jake..." he wasn't going to listen to her.

She gave up and started back to the parking lot with Paul, she saw Collin turning in. A crack of a limb sounded behind them and she turned around. He was hiding most of his massive body behind the brush. It was the first time she'd seen him as a wolf since the day he revealed the truth to her. She froze and observed how his eyes scanned every inch of her. She felt stripped in front of him for some reason. She'd lost her nerve now that he was facing her, and she took her eyes off him a second to look at Paul. He disappeared as soon as she glanced back. Paul shook his head, "Come on, you need to go home, before Charlie gets off. He doesn't know anything happened. We thought it was better that way."

"Paul, come back with me," she begged.

"I can't."

"Okay, well, then convince Jacob, they're not worth it. I just want to forget it happened." How many times was she going to have to repeat that?

"I'm sorry, hummingbird, we're never going to forget; not this time." he shut her passenger door, and she turned to Collin.

"You ready, Bella?"

She nodded, but she wasn't. She wasn't ready for anything that might happen. Damn, Edward for putting them all in this position.

Seth was there like Paul said he would be. She was so relieved to see him. At least, she knew he was safe. Collin took off as soon as they exited the truck.

Bella told Seth everything that had occurred, she left nothing out. His face was void of all emotion. She knew he had to be more than upset, hearing how Edward left her with venom on purpose, and how he thought she'd willingly return to him. He took care of her hands and kissed each and every knuckle.

"I have to leave as soon as Charlie gets here," he confessed.

"No, stay with me," surely she could count on Seth to listen.

"I can't." Exactly what Paul had said.

"Seth, the Cullen's are with the Denali coven. They have a personal vendetta against Jacob. Alice Cullen told me he killed one of their own a few weeks ago."

"I know," he confirmed. Why had no one told her up until now?

"You knew he killed one of them? She wasn't a human drinker, did you know that?"

"Yes, Bella, we all know. Vampire kills are always discussed within the pack. It doesn't matter to us, they don't deserve to walk among humans."

"There's no way you all can manage this. It's your jobs to protect the reservation. You can't disappear to a whole other part of the country."

"Bella," he silenced her with a kiss. "Don't spend any more time worrying about this, we're going to do what we have to do."

Bella heard Charlie's cruiser pull in. How was she supposed to pretend everything was normal? Why did they all have to be so damn stubborn? She would not be able to handle it if one of them got hurt. This was all her fault. Her only solace was that Alaska was the largest state in the nation and she hoped wherever the Cullen's were, they were well hidden. Eventually, they'd have to tire out and give up was the the reality that finally allowed her to fall asleep that night.

* * *

Bella's wishes had almost come true. It was a huge undertaking and 2000 miles away from home proved to be a huge endeavor. Jacob reluctantly sent back most of the pack including Seth. Paul was gone several days. He did tell her they got more accomplished as humans than wolves. They were digging, using Seth's knowledge in law enforcement, and they knew they'd used the ferry in Vancouver. He seemed confident that they were going to find out a detail eventually that would lead them straight to them rather than mindlessly searching the endless miles of wilderness. Seth was planning a trip to Vancouver soon in hopes of getting some security footage. Bella never ceased in her pleadings. She knew Jacob was back in town, he called a meeting almost everyday. Bella had to go back to school, and resume her normal life. She couldn't understand why everything couldn't go back to the way it was before. Paul told her it wasn't possible. If they snatched her once, then they could do it again. She was the only one that didn't consider the Cullen's an eminent threat. The truth was she was much more concerned that Nadia roamed free after what she'd done and she was irritated the pack had not paid her the same amount of attention.

By the end of January, it seemed to have settled down a little. She and Seth finally had gone out to dinner and he was like his normal self. However, when he let her know, he was leaving for an overnight trip to Vancouver that weekend, they ended up having a fight.

She'd been having after school meetings everyday with Kate, since there was a chance she wasn't staying on til March. Her doctor thought she was overdoing it. Charlie had a busy day of paperwork to catch up on at the station and Saturday seemed like the best day to do that. Seth was gone and Paul told her Jacob had left him with a line of cars that had to be serviced. She was going to take advantage of the total peace and quiet and do absolutely nothing. The house was clean, and she had made food the night before. She was taking the day off from everything. She'd taken a long soak in the tub after she woke up that Saturday and she put on her yoga pants and soft t-shirt. She grabbed her book and mug of hot tea and made herself comfortable on the sofa. She sipped her tea and read for awhile.

_Tap, tap, tap,_ the glass on the front door rattled. Bella startled, her book was on her chest. She must have drifted off. After sitting up, she saw a shadow at the door. So much, for her day to herself, she wasn't sure who was knocking, but she went to the door. Bella unlocked the door and swung it open to reveal Jacob was on the other side. How long had it been since he had said a word to her or she saw him? It had been weeks, which in reality had pissed her off. She knew they weren't supposed to be talking, but she wished he would have, at least once, discussed the Cullen's with her face to face. She had a good mind to slam the door in his face. It definitely was what she should have done, but she didn't.

"Bells, can I come in?"

_**~Thanks for reading.**_


	29. Chapter 29

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters belong to Stephanie Meyer**_

_**You all have been some of the most patient readers ever. I truly appreciate each and every one of you. I actually got over 1000 views in a day after the last two updates, which made me smile.**_

_**Depending on who you are; this is either the moment you've been waiting for or the one that you've been dreading. Either way, the story continues...**_

Chapter 28

Bella extended her arm and took a step back as she pulled the door open further. He quickly stepped inside and shut the door. It took a minute before either of them said something. She was taken a back by his appearance. His hair had grown out some and was a mess like he forgot to comb it out. He had some dark shading under his eyes that usually was not there. She could tell he was barely sleeping.

He raised his eyebrows at her and clasped his hands in front of himself. "So..."

"Yes, Jacob, do you have something to ask? Why are you here?"

"Um, yeah, I guess it's past time, but I want you to tell me about what happened the day Alice Cullen snatched you from the airport."

"Are you kidding me? I asked you over that day, it's been almost 3 weeks. I know for a fact Paul and Seth filled you in." She went back to the door and opened it up again. "Bye Jacob."

He pushed the door closed again, and twisted the lock. "I don't think so."

"Jacob, she grabbed me, acted like I should be happy to be going back to Edward. I told them to let me go, they did. You've blown this completely out of proportion. Look at what you're doing to your pack. Have you seen yourself in a mirror lately? You look like hell."

He had come in rather meek, which wasn't his style at all, but that would soon change. She'd pushed all his buttons. "Out of proportion? You can't be fucking serious, Bells," he said with a raised voice. "Bloodsuckers grab my...um, grab you and try to force you to live with them. I have every right to act the way I'm acting. My pack is fine, they know what they need to do."

"So you're going to hunt them all down and kill everyone of them, because of Edward's delusions?"

"Do you really want the answer to that?"

"Jacob, why are you really here? I don't want to fight about the Cullen's with you. We could spend the whole day going in circles, we'll never agree."

She was tired of standing by the door, so she returned to the couch. He followed her. A voice inside her head barely whispered, "Make him leave, he needs to go right now," but she ignored the voice. She turned to look at him, he'd sat down in the middle of the couch, but he wasn't touching her.

When she took a deep breath and really looked, looked beyond the hardened expression he had mastered, he looked like a broken man. There had been one turmoil after the next since the two of them fell in love with each other. To all others, it was proof they were hazardous to each other's well being. She continued to stare, and realized it meant something totally different to them. Despite all the crap, all the other people they were involved with, and even the weeks apart, it still had not extinguished their love. She knew she still felt the same, and the way his eyes bore into her soul, she knew he did too.

His next move caught her completely off guard, he fell into her lap and she could feel his body slightly jerk every few seconds, he was silently crying. She took her fingers and started to rub them through the thick strands of his hair. "Jake, it's okay. You're safe with me, I'm still here for you."

He lifted his head slightly, and responded, "I'm so tired, Bells."

"I know you are."

"Not like you think, I'm tired of being without you. You know this isn't working, we still need each other." his head collapsed again and she continued to rub his scalp.

She assumed she'd only comfort him. Who else could he be vulnerable in front of? No one: not Nadia, his father, the council or his pack. Even at his job, he was the boss. Jacob always had to be in charge, no wonder he was so depleted.

His body shifted to the floor, but he left his head against her stomach. She moved her legs out of the way to accommodate his body. She continued to hold his head, sometimes she'd rub across his shoulders. He'd not uttered another word after his declaration and he was perfectly still. She wondered if she'd put him to sleep until his hand moved to the side of her leg and slowly burned it's way down to where her pants stopped mid-calf. He started rubbing her bare skin there.

She took a deep breath, trying not to read too much into it. After all, she'd been rubbing his hair, neck and shoulders for the past 15 minutes he was in her lap.

She tried to sit there a few more minutes and continue to fool herself that them touching each other was nothing more than comfort, but when his other hand slipped under her shirt, he lifted it slightly and pressed his warm mouth against her stomach. She knew something else was starting. Okay, she had allowed it to start, but could she put a stop to it, before they got out of hand? Bella knew that if she pushed his head up, he would've gotten the picture and he would leave. Instead she arched her back, which pushed her body closer to his face. His lips kissed every couple of inches at her waistband and she let a few noises escape her lips. Finally, she was honest, and said something,"Ahh, that feels so good." Her words all came out like a breathy moan.

Of course that spurred him on, "Good, but I'm just getting started." He lifted his head to stare into her eyes. The look said it all she shook her head slightly giving him the go ahead. He rose up higher on his knees, she opened her legs wider and leaned forward. Jacob was kissing her again. It was just like she'd remembered and she realized how much she'd missed it. His lips controlled the movement of her own. She didn't think she could kiss him deep enough to satisfy her craving for him. She'd been denying it for too long. His memory still lingered in the air every night she fell asleep at night.

Jacob put one knee up on the edge of the sofa and she pulled him down towards the cushions with her. Bella pulled his lip between her teeth and his tongue met hers inside her mouth. A growing desire was making its presence known within her. She felt an ache between her thighs. It felt like she'd been denied what her body had craved for weeks. It could have been compared to an overwhelming thirst like one feels after getting overheated.

He was most definitely overheating her and like he could read her thoughts ahead of her, he pulled them up off the sofa because they both needed more. He carried her up the stairs without hesitation, one arm under her shoulder and one just past her butt. She kept peppering kisses to his chest. He really needed to lose the shirt. It was the first item of clothing to disappear when he sat her on her bedroom floor. She pulled hers off in the next breath. She thought they were headed straight to bed, but he lifted her up once again. This time her legs clinched around his torso and he pressed her against the door. His mouth possessed every portion of her mouth and then he left her lips, so that he could adore every part of her he could reach while still supporting her against the door. His tongue left a blazing trail on her collarbone while his fingers worked magic over the silky fabric that covered her left breast. She moaned at the sensations and he pressed his hips into her pelvis. Fire and desire ignited her center. She still needed more and he was ready to give her precisely that.

She was the first one to reach for the zipper of his jeans. He smiled against her neck. They moved from the door and he walked them to the bed. He playfully dropped her on her back, but she didn't stay there. Bella pushed up on her elbows, Jacob had stopped moving. He was standing there staring at her. Was he stopping or was he letting her have a chance back out? She crawled up to her knees, to face him because there was no way she wanted him to leave. They'd fooled around several times in that very spot but it was always in the middle of the night. This was a totally different atmosphere, in the light of the day. There was no reason to be afraid. They'd been leading up to this moment longer than they knew. Without any further hesitation, she reached behind her back to unclasp her bra. All the modesty she normally had was non-existent, this was Jake and there was no shame between them. No one had ever made her feel like that.

His hand reached out to touch her, "You're so beautiful, Bells."

"Jake," she didn't know what else to say to him, but her hand traced the line down the middle of his abdomen. His eyes were held closed once she touched him. He dug in his pocket and pulled out the black foil wrapper. He tossed it over her shoulder and it landed on her pillow. She turned to see where it went, and to make sure it was what she thought it was. Why that little sneak. Had he planned this? He had to have known she'd be alone today.

She flipped her head back to look on him again. He shrugged, "Just in case, you felt the same way I was feeling, are you mad?"

"No," she shook her head. His jeans were already partially undone from before, so all he had to do was pull them down. _Wow_, was what she thought but she didn't want to sound as inexperienced as she really was. They'd been up close under the covers, but he was definitely something to behold. Her fingers reached out to tentatively grazed him. Who knew her delicate touch would have cause such a reaction in him?

He hissed between his teeth, and clinched his eyes shut again. They'd been going in slow motion since her threw her on the bed, but after a little bit of shuffling from his feet to escape his jeans, he climbed on the bed with her. Both his strong hands pulled her yoga pants and panties down in one swooping motion. His finger dipped into her and he made the obvious observation, "You're ready for me, Bells."

"Yes, always. I love you, Jacob."

"I love you," they both positioned themselves higher up in her bed, she was glad she'd been lazy and not made her bed that morning. He hovered over body next, and then proceeded to build their passion back up by kissing her. They were getting back into a frenzy again. There were no hesitations this time, she wasn't about to tell him she wasn't ready. This time she knew she was, the doubts had all been erased. His hand sought out the wrapper, but his mouth never left hers; she heard him open it. Part of her wanted to remind him of her birth control pills, but it was probably best to still use the condom. His palm pushed her thigh further, she willingly opened further for him.

This was it, she felt him right there, but he asked one more thing, "Is this what you really want, Bells?"

Of course it was, why did he feel the need to ask? He was so close to being inside of her. She nodded and dug her heels into him and pushed his hips with her hands all at once. Her breath caught it in her throat, shit, it hurt. She should have let him go slower, but it was too late now.

"Bells," he wasn't moving yet and he kissed her deeply again. "Relax, honey, its okay. I love you, I love you so fucking much, honey." He kissed her a couple of more times. She took a few deep breaths. Without a doubt, she felt so full; like she didn't even know she could be that filled, but the burn was not as painful and she was ready to try moving.

As soon as she shifted her pelvis upward he took over. She caught on fairly quick. They moved in sync with one another. She figured out what made it feel better, when to hold still, when to move with him. Her foot moved up and down the back of his thigh, his hand went under her. When he did that, he'd put her in exactly the right spot.

He must have sensed it, "Yeah, just like that. Let yourself go, I want to feel you come around me."

Jake's sexy bedroom voice and the constant stimulation of his pubic bone hitting against her caused her to fall over the edge. If that would have been it, she would have been completely satisfied. She held on to her high for several thrusts, but lucky for her, he had lots more to give. This moment was nothing like the many dreams she'd had. The reality was, she could not have conjured what it really would be like until she was experiencing it firsthand. His hand holding onto hers while he kissed her was delicate and sweet, but his movements within her were forceful and demanding. How did he do that? It was like being in two places at once. They went on like that for quite a bit longer, but on her third orgasm, he joined her. Heat, sweat, and gratification covered her. Her mind was finally catching up to what her body had just experienced. _Jake and I made love_, was what she told herself. He pulled out and he took his weight off her. She felt like she was being deprived of oxygen for a second without him there any longer. He layed next to her for a few seconds. He caught his breath way before she steadied hers. He hopped up and held up one finger, but he was back from the bathroom before she had time to miss him.

They were on their sides facing each other. He held her face in his hand, "You okay?"

"Yes, I'm perfect."

"I already knew that," he laughed, "But are you still hurting?"

"No, I feel too good to hurt," was her answer.

He pulled her against his chest. Should they discuss what it meant, what they'd done? Here they were, supposed to be staying away from one another, but they'd just committed the ultimate act of love. Sure, many people had sex and that's all it was...a physical act. She knew that sex between them was so much more, but she couldn't describe all the implications.

"Hey," he pulled back just enough, so they could see each other's faces. "You know, we have nothing to be sorry for. Some things just can't be denied, Bells and I needed you like I need air to breath. This is between us, no one will ever understand...only the two of us know what it means."

"I can't live without you Jacob, but I don't know how to keep pretending with the rest of the world."

It's what she knew they were going to do. He didn't have to spell it out, this would happen again. They would keep it a secret. She immediately figured out ways she could compartmentalize it. Everyone was against this, with good reason. She wasn't willing to come clean to Seth. He would be destroyed, but she still convinced herself there was something good between them. How could she be good for him? She was sleeping with another man, but she pushed that thought aside.

Jacob noted the time, Bella expected Charlie within the hour. She didn't want him to leave her ever, but it was their reality. He gave her a few instructions. The condoms were a must to mask the scents at least a little bit. Bella spent a lot of time around the pack now. Jacob told her to wash everything, take a really long shower. He even told her to flip the couch cushions downstairs and to Febreze the whole downstairs. Good God, by the time he was finished, she felt like she'd taken part in a crime and was covering it up. There was some truth to that and she knew it. He promised her, he'd find them their own spot, being at Charlie's was too risky. She pulled the sheet around her and accompanied him to the door.

They kissed one last time, "It's going to be alright," he promised.

She shook her head like she believed him, but was it really? Could they make such a promise? They were starting up a secret affair, and they resided among a supernatural species that had acute senses. To top it all off, Jacob shared his mind with them. When he shut the door, she let her body slide down the wall. Her eyes were closed, _whatever it takes and damn the consequences_. She pulled herself together and got busy with the tasks she needed to accomplish in a very short amount of time.

In the bathroom, she swore her reflection asked her, "Who are you?"

She faced the image, "I'm Jacob's." The truth was both haunting and exceptional, but she refused to take a step back, she would only move forward.

_**~Thanks for reading. Mad or glad, let me know.**_


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